Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters and make no money from this. Masashi Kishimoto does.

...

Phase Eight

To heal, you must surrender

...

The next few weeks were a blur for Kakashi. Green dominated the mix of colors, the green from his blanket, but there was also some amber, most likely from the alcohol he had consumed. At the very least, he could say that heartbreak didn't affect his need for intoxication. The profession just did that to them, it seemed. Most of all, though, a black spotted with bright white lights was what shaded the blur. From nights of sitting at his bed and staring out the window into the starry sky, no doubt.

Strangely enough, grieving the absence of Sakura barely shook his routine. The blur was already familiar to him. It was the blur of memories of times between missions, of waiting to be thrown back into the field to kill or be killed, to feel alive again because it was all that rung true after two decades of being a ninja. Sakura's presence, on the opposite, had slowed down the passing of time, dyed the colors pink and emerald. Added sweet images of cheerful smiles and coy grins.

Why was it that the tiniest disruption of your routine was what completed broke it down?

The worst of being so melancholic at his age was that he knew what would happen. No matter how heavy he felt, how unappealing life appeared, he would go on living until some enemy's jutsu finally finished it off. Bravery came naturally when you had to deal with incoming death. Cowardice was what kept him alive, kept the vast majority of people alive. If not from fear of the pain that might come, then from fear of that darkness and quiet they so seeked. The human heart desires freedom first and foremost no matter how feverishly it desires to be trapped. The option to go back on one's decision was necessary.

His macabre train of thoughts was broken by a soft knock on the door. So shy, it sounded like the person on the other side of the door wished it would not be heard.

Kakashi's heart skipped a beat. He had been so distracted he had not felt her approach at all.

Immediately, he lunged for the door and swung it open , eyes fixated on his visitor in disbelief.

"Sakura," he whispered, hand clenched around the door knob.

The warmth of her chest against his, the warmth of being close... it all seemed for far away now.

Sakura remained silent for a few seconds, before she lowered her head, hiding her eyes from his view.

"I'm sorry."

These words broken down the his resolve. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her in a tight embrace without further hesitation.

At first, he had tried to talk to her, but she avoided him with surprising ease.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled again, hands timidly landing on his back before clutching the fabric of his shirt desperately.

"It's okay," Kakashi answered without thinking, face buried in her hair, reveling in the fruity scent that had become her signature over the years and in the slight buzz that surrounded him.

"I was so selfish," she whimpered into his chest. "I was cruel to you."

"You're back," Kakashi said, strangely serene. "It doesn't matter."

He could feel the first of her tears soak through his thin undershirt.

"I want to be with you, I really do," she admitted brokenly. "I have for a while, but I couldn't admit it. At first, it was because of our former ranks, our age gap... I acted on it every now and then and I know we both did. It was a crush, lust, but then I realized it was something more."

Sakura took a long pause after this, fidgeting with his shirt with hands that had migrated to his chest.

"Then we had to go on that mission," she continued, face still covered. "I just couldn't face you anymore."

"Sakura," Kakashi weakly protested, at a loss for words to precisely define how this associated no shame to her name for him.

"I'm tired of hurting," she added before he could continue. "I want to get better, I'll do anything to go back to myself. I can't let this take over my whole life any longer."

"We'll make it okay then," he breathed against her forehead, placing a discreet kiss on it.

Sakura remained unnaturally still, but didn't protest. Kakashi took this as a good sign and led her to his bed so they could sit down together.

After a long and uncomfortable silence, Kakashi suggested, "maybe you should talk to someone about what happened."

"I can't, you're the only one who knows," she argued immediately, shaking her head.

Kakashi hesitated. What else could he tell her?

"Then maybe you should talk to me," he asked, ignoring the bitterness on his tongue.

"I can't do that to you, Kakashi," she cried out, eyes wide and full of mercy he didn't have the heart to accept.

"Then to who?"

"I... I can't. It's not right towards you. Nothing good would come out of it," Sakura spoke softly, biting her lip and looking away.

"It's okay," he sighed, resgined to take the first step, desperate to tie her to him so she wouldn't be tempted to leave again.

Truth be told, it was something he wished he could do with someone else too, but was also too reserved to share.

"Watching you back there, getting hurt, getting..." Kakashi swallowed a lump in his throat, heart hammering in his chest as disgusting images viciously assaulted his mind. "Violated, hurt, forced to endure everything you did. It broke me down. Like few things ever did. Watching a loved one hurt is so more much painful than hurting yourself. I couldn't do anything for you, and that's why I did what I did in the end. It was the only thing I could do to put you out of your misery. I did it knowing what it meant, and I can't bring myself to regret it. I regret not doing it sooner only."

Because when you watch all of this happen, the outside world ceases to exist. All that's left in the world anymore are the agonizing screams of your teammates, their pleading for mercy and...

Kakashi shook his head, refusing to get too carried away.

"You were the most important then. I'm sorry for giving up," he breathed out.

Sakura seemed pensive, taking in everything he had just told her. Thankfully, her life had been mostly devoid of such disheartening situations, but she had loved enough to know what he meant.

"I can't burden you even further then," she sobbed, covering her eyes with her palms as tears started leaking. "You've already had to know so much more than you had to."

He could see her body tremble, holding in everything that had been trying to burst out for so long.

"Let it all out, Sakura," he encouraged when more tears streamed down her cheeks, carefully watching her barricade break down.

Andd she did.

For the next few minutes, Kakashi listened without flinching, acting as the crutch she needed to stand up once more.

Sakura spoke freely, unhingered. She spoke first of the beatings, the physical pain. That had been okay to deal with, as she was trained to take it more than necessary with Tsunade. That woman was something.

Discovering of her seducing of Kyo in order to gain information was yet another punch he had not expected. The little Sakura that had once been his love-struck student was long gone, and he gravely needed to burn that in his mind. The deep remorse she felt over his death nonetheless kept both images of his friend fused together. Sakura could never be one to hurt the innocent.

Remaining silent still, he braced himself for the next punches that were certain to come. She spoke of when Koroku touched her in front of him, of the incredible humilitation she had felt of being exposed as so weak and only woman to him. It didn't matter to her that she had had to be naked in front of Kakashi, but not that.

She kept on going, unable to stop now that she had grasped the chance to spill it out. She wished Koroku had kept his abuse secret, because then she wouldn't have had to face it with him, only keep up a simple facade and it would have been easy to fool him into believing nothing had happened, as she had already done the first time. She had lied when she had denied the rape. Making him believe everything was fine and that she could go on with the plan when he knew what had happened was more taxing on her than the mission itself.

At this, Kakashi couldn't help the immense guilt that flooded his entire being. His showing weakness at her pain had caused her even more of it, forcing her to hide it all so he wouldn't crack and ruin the mission.

Kakashi could only half listen as she described the sexual acts themselves. How he had not been gentle, yet not rough either. How he played out fantasies of her being his wife, whispering sweet nothings into her ears as if she was happy to be there. Four times it had happened, she said, counting it on her fingers.

"It all really did happen," Sakura whispered quietly, after a minute of silence, a certain recognition flashing in her eyes. "It's not some sick, twisted tale I was told and I can't act as if it was."

"It is true," Kakashi said, finally releasing the breath he had been holding as he pulled her into his arms again. "It is, but it will be okay in time."

How he loathed to say that, but even more so acknoledging the truth of his words. Sakura was a strong woman. While her pain would never be erased, she would stand proud above it one day.

"I trust you," Sakura whispered against his ear.

These simple words lifted a tremendous weight from his shoulders.

"You'll be okay, just give yourself time," he said quietly, mimicking the force his heart beat with in his embrace.

"I believe you, you sound so convinced," she chuckled, leaning more into him and he could feel her fatigue.

When they were lying down, in each others' arms and the comfort of silence, when he could feel her slip into slumber, she mumured quiet words he would never forget no matter how simple they were, "thank you."

Thank you for your love. Thank you for being there. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for believing in me no matter what.

Gratitude he had also felt towards her and only one close friend, gratitude he knew the intensity could only be expressed through the simplicity of those two words.

"Thank you."

...

One day, just as it begun, it is over.

Because one day, you have begun healing and are walking down a new path.

...

A/N: THE END! Sorry if I seem so enthusiastic, but I'm happy to be done with this one! Haha. I can move on to other stuff. One day, I will certainly come back and edit the hell out of this story because I loved the first part to bits, even if I wished I'd done it differently. I've learned a lot from this two-part story and know I will keep learning more as I write.

I thank all of you who have followed this one from beginning to end. As little as they seem, the few words you drop me motivate me to keep writing since I know I'll be disappointing somebody, somewhere, if I don't finish this, just like I have been when following stories from other people.

I'm glad I didn't make you wait so long on this one, too. I hope you all enjoyed the ending. Drop a line to let me know what your thoughts were exactly!

Hope to see you guys on another story!