Good night everyone. Pir84lyf here.

I'm asking your forgiveness please for being gone for long and making and not keeping promises that I have made in the past.

Simply put, I've failed in keeping simple time tables and not keeping up with my work.

I have gotten a recent promotion at work, I'm a secretary, and my life, besides that, has been at a crawl at best and has gone in reverse at worst.

School dropped me, low GPA, and my best friend and I have stopped talking months ago, my fault mainly—no, my fault totally. I loved her, deeply and truly, and I couldn't let her go, so before I wound up hurting her and being a disappoint to her I left and returned to the darkness and recluse that I had been so used to for the past, oooohhhhh, 10 years of my life.

I'm 27.

Not asking for any kind of pity, maybe some understanding, most definitely a lot of prayers.

And a girlfriend. Most likely in Broward County, maybe in Miami-Dade.

I don't do dating sites, promised my mother, and people in my family are trying to hook me up with random people that I've only seen twice.

The irony.

All my thoughts are jumbled and rushing right now so just bear with me.

So why this? So why now? Why this story to update?

I got an email saying that I got a review for this story and I was scared to death to read it. Today I read it and someone enjoyed the first chapter but the second. The second chapter on are update chapters and all so it was a bit jarring to them. But the important thing is that someone was still reading this story well, despite it only being a chapter.

So I figured that I would add a second chapter against my reservations on it. You see, this story was supposed to be cowritten by me and my former best friend mentioned above but she couldn't go through with it since the game ended.

But I couldn't go through with it in the past few months since we stopped talking. But the review changed that. It changed something in me.

I had to stop running/hiding from or ignoring my personal issues. I must face my demons head on and fight back; take control of my life and use it to honor not just me, but hopefully my future wife and family, my family now, and most importantly, use my life to honor my God.

I have failed in all of that.

Even though I haven't spoken to her since my birthday in September, I want to finish this thing that we have started.

I want to be more focused and have a better hobby than video games so I can stop being a disappointment to my family, especially my father. And all this typing is going to help with my typing skills at work.

And I learn to keep my mind busy and occupied instead of just giving in to my lust and desires.

My last cleanup of files from my phone and laptop was in mid-March and Christ sake, there was a lot of porn on them both.

2000+ videos and over 400 gigs worth of crud. But because it's what I turn to for comfort or when I'm bored, things don't stay clean. The other night driving home from work, I was looking for a prostitute. Damn near walked into a strip club too. It was too much and I just went home in shame.

But I'm praying for guidance and help cuz I need it. And I'll be cleaning again tonight.

So, in the coming week, I should have a fleshed out proper second chapter, which I guess would be the first since the first chapter is labeled as a prologue…

But I'll be back with this new chapter and other chapters for my other stories. I'm still writing, still acting out scenes to see how they go. I'm feeling better already

Please keep me in your prayers.

God bless.