CHAPTER FIVE: Now I Find Myself In Question

Author's Notes: Well, Christmas is almost here so I thought I'd submit a chapter as a bit of a treat. And okay I know it's been pretty dark and sad the last couple of chapters and it may be for a little bit yet but I hope you guys can hold out. It's going to take some time for Damon and Elena to fix this but I promise that they will. On the upside, we'll get to see flashbacks of some of the earlier days of Damon and Elena that give us some more of their story. Chapter title is from Linkin Park's Runaway (whether you think of the original song or the remix...I guess either one works). So enjoy the holidays, whatever you celebrate even if it's just the company of family and friends. :-)

Chapter 5: Now I Find Myself In Question

flashback

An angry adolescent Damon Salvatore stormed his way down the stairs of his father's house. He ignored the aging old man's shouts behind him upstairs and launched himself out the front door – slamming the door shut behind him.

He went straight for his car – an old blue Camaro he'd bought with his own hard earned money – and sped off away from the Salvatore mansion. He cranked up the music, thumping the steering wheel as he drove. He could feel his pager go off in his pocket. He pulled it out with one hand – pages from his house and the Gilbert house.

Grunting, he chucked the pager on the seat beside him and sped up. The tires squealed as he flew down the highway.

The elder Salvatore brother wasn't exactly having the best of days. Suspended from school, a bruised hand, a fight with his father, a lecture from his little brother, and now it looked like Elena wanted to lecture him too. So what if he'd gotten into a fight in school – the other guy started it. Why should he be the one to be punished and bitched at?

"Gaaahhh!" He slammed the steering wheel, shouting to the empty car.

He needed to get away. He needed to get the hell out of Mystic Falls – away from his dick of a father and this town full of memories. God how he wished he was eighteen already. Being stuck in this town was killing him. Less then two years to go . . . and then he was out of here.

His pager went off again. He glanced at it again – Gilbert house: Elena again. He let out a deep breath. He'd known Elena a long time now and – aside from his little brother – she was the most important person in his life that he cared about. His father could kiss his ass, his mom was gone – Elena's uncle Alaric was pretty cool and occasionally served as a drinking buddy but no . . . Elena was something special to him. Not that he'd ever admit that out loud. Most of the time she treated him like an older brother.

Right now, though, he knew Elena would talk him out of being angry or make him laugh . . . sometimes a guy just needed to be angry and stupid for a while.

So . . . he ignored the page and kept driving. After about twenty minutes he rolled his eyes and picked up the pager. Another page: this one from someone else. It was from Rose.

It was then he remembered hearing about a party – at Rose's house? Yeah . . . he vaguely remembered her inviting him actually . . .

Rose was an 18 year old senior who lived on her own whereas he was a sophomore. They'd hooked up a couple of times after they'd met at a couple of fraternity parties. Lately, though . . . the more Damon fought with his father the more he hung out with Rose and pushed Elena and Stefan away.

Elena stared at the house phone. Damon hadn't responded to either of her pages! She really needed to talk to him. Stefan called her saying that his father and brother got into it again and Damon had driven off angry. She knew that their dad wasn't the nicest guy around (she was certain he didn't like her either) but Damon could be pretty bullheaded sometimes too. Though Stefan had his moments too . . . it was just that Giuseppe Salvatore seemed to ignore or deny his younger son's indiscretions and put the heft of the blame on his elder son. Elena often wondered if it was because Damon looked so much like his mother (she only knew from pictures but it was clear that Damon got his looks from her). From what little stories she'd heard from the Salvatore brothers and their housekeepers who knew her, Giuseppe had been madly in love with his wife and took her death really hard.

But none of that explained why Damon wasn't responding to her calls. The two of them had been inseparable for years – why was he pushing her away?

Sure, they were older now but that shouldn't really change anything. Damon was her best friend – her "boo".

"Kids – it's time for dinner!"

Elena sighed and put her phone down on its receiver, leaving her room and going down the stairs.

"Watch it sis!" Jeremy breezed past her, fearlessly sliding down the banister of the stairs.

"Jer!" Elena rolled her eyes, his leg pinching her finger on the wood railing.

"I warned you." Jeremy laughed, jumping off on the bottom to the floor. A figure stood at the bottom of the stairs, glaring at him with her arms crossed. Jeremy froze. "Um . . . sorry Mom . . ."

"Kid, one of these days you're going to give me a heart attack . . ." Elena's aunt Jenna rolled her eyes. Jeremy may call their aunt Mom because he didn't really remember their parents but for Elena it never really felt right. Everyone was okay with it though. Jeremy and Katherine referred to Jenna and Alaric as 'Mom' and 'Dad' but Elena either used their first names or 'aunt' or 'uncle'. Their household was a little strange but by now they were all used to it.

"Jeremy, what have we told you about the stairs?" Uncle Ric light tapped the boy on the back of his head.

"Use the stairs, not the rail . . ." Jeremy grumbled. "Sorry, Dad . . ."

"Just don't let it happen again, okay?" Ric told him. Jeremy nodded, taking his usual place at the dinner table.

Elena descended the stairs, taking her seat next to her brother. Jenna and Ric came back and forth from the kitchen with dishes of food.

"Elena, honey, have you seen your sister?" Jenna asked her. Elena shrugged, shaking her head. "Jer bear, what about you?"

Jeremy froze, looking down at his empty plate. "Um . . ."

Jenna raised an eyebrow. "Okay spill – I know that look. What did Katherine do this time?" Elena rolled her eyes – the troublemakers always got the attention.

"I don't . . ." Jeremy stuttered.

"Out with it, Jer." Alaric came to stand next to his wife, putting a big bowl of salad down.

Jeremy looked to Elena who shook shrugged. She had no idea what was up . . . Jeremy and Katherine usually didn't keep her in the loop because she was really bad at keeping secrets.

"The sooner you 'fess up, kid, the lesser the punishment." Jenna warned him.

"But I didn't do anything!" Jeremy said.

"You're covering for her now spit it out, Jer." Alaric's voice got a little louder.

"I don't know much okay." Jeremy relented, putting his hands up. "I overheard her talking to her girlie friends about a party or something."

"A party?" Jenna and Alaric said at the same time. Elena sighed . . . really, she should have known.

"Yeah . . . a senior party I think." Jeremy nodded.

"She's not even 11!" Jenna shrieked.

"Any clue where this party is?" Alaric growled, rubbing his wife's shoulder to calm her down though he wasn't particularly calm himself.

"Some senior's apartment I think – I heard she's 18 and lives alone." Jeremy said.

"Rose Billings?" Elena offered. She paid very little attention to her upperclassmen but . . . well, Damon had been spending a lot of time with Rose so – let's just say Rose was on her radar.

"You knew about this too?" Jenna and Alaric stared at her, surprised. She was their good girl.

Elena immediately shook her head. "I just know of Rose . . . she throws a lot of parties."

Jenna and Alaric nodded, breathing a sigh of relief. "I'll get the keys." Alaric said. "Jen, you find out where this Rose lives."

"Got it, hun."

And . . . they were off. Wait, does this mean they were on their own for dinner?

"Jer, you'll get your punishment when we get home. Dinner's in the kitchen, we'll be back soon with your sister. There's chocolate ice cream for dessert."

Jenna and Alaric flew out the door, leaving Jeremy and Elena alone. The two of them just sat there.

"Well, shit . . ." Jeremy cursed. "Our little sister is at it again . . ."

"I don't know why she goes to those parties." Elena rolled her eyes. "She's always lusting after Stefan anyway . . ."

She just really hoped Damon wasn't there at that party.

Hmm . . . maybe it was time for her to make new friends. Matt Donovan in her grade seemed friendly enough. He was always trailing after her anyway. He was pretty cute, too. Yeah . . . maybe she'd ask him if he wanted to go to the roller rink next week.

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

Katherine and Stefan quietly tiptoed down the stairs, careful as to not wake their sleeping nephews above. It had taken hours to get the boys to finally settle down.

"Maybe we shouldn't have let them have that third bowl of chocolate ice cream . . ." Stefan whispered as he plopped down on the living room couch.

Katherine sprawled across his lap and giggled, her arms around his neck. "Yeah . . . that would've probably been a good idea." She shrugged. "Maybe we don't tell Elena about that when she gets out of the hospital . . ."

Stefan chuckled. "Agreed . . . although the ice cream was your idea, babe."

"What can I say? Ice cream's my favorite go-to snack." Katherine smirked. "We've had a lot of fun with ice cream over the years, you and I." Stefan laughed, nodding. "Post-hangover ice cream binges, games of foreplay-sundaes back and forth—oh, and remember that time we had that chocolate syrup fight?"

The two of them continued to laugh. "I seem to remember winning that fight." Stefan grinned. "You, all hot and bothered on that motel kitchen floor covered in chocolate syrup . . . hell yeah I remember that."

"That was one hell of a night, babe." Katherine patted his thigh, also grinning. She lay her head back on his chest, taking hold of his hand. Her smile wavered a bit as she squeezed his hand. "It's hard not to remember the next few months after that, though . . . all those days apart . . ." She swallowed.

Stefan let out a deep breath. "Now that was hell." He kissed the back of her head. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah . . ." She sighed. "Just wishing those memories would go away, that's all."

"We were both pretty screwed up, huh?" Stefan said.

"More than," Katherine nodded. She turned around to face him. "But we're better people now, both of us."

"That we are." Stefan kissed her. "Our siblings did that, they helped us – your sister and my brother. It's because of them that we're here and happy and together." She nodded. "You were right, you know. There is something wrong with them. I think there has been for a while but they've been hiding it."

"They're so stubborn." Katherine sighed.

"How was Elena when you called earlier?" Stefan said.

"She said she's feeling better but she just seemed so sad." Katherine let out a breath. "When she woke up yesterday while I was there with Danny, she seemed to fall apart when I told her Damon had to go back to New York. I don't know . . . she just seemed – different."

"I wonder what happened with them." Stefan looked at the mantel full of pictures of Damon, Elena, and their family. "They've always seemed so happy."

Katherine scoffed. "Babe, we both know how easy it is to hide what you're really feeling from the world." Their eyes met as painful memories of being separated from both of their stints in rehab, her in jail, again both of them in the hospital, and other things flashed through their minds. Her hand squeezed his and she leaned over to kiss him briefly on the lips. "Do we know yet what really happened with Tyler? Caroline and Mrs. Lockwood were flipping out at the engagement hall."

Stefan shrugged. "Not really. Just that he was arrested for something and that's why Damon came back from New York."

"Well, those Lockwood's were always useless." Katherine rolled her eyes.

"Says the girl who dated Tyler's surfer uncle while I was over in England for those two years for school." Stefan stared her down.

Katherine shook her head, rolling her eyes again. "Ugh . . . do not even remind me. Worst mistake ever. That asshole got me involved with his biker buddies Jules and Brady and got me arrested for underage drinking – among other things."

Stefan scrunched his nose, his hand on his side. "Yeah let's not. I'd rather forget about getting my ass kicked by Grove Hill's biker club - what was their mascot anyway? Wolves or dingoes or something. The jet lag was nothing compared to that beating."

"It was wolves." Katherine nodded. "Good point - subject change . . . Hey are you ever going to tell me where you're taking me for our honeymoon?"

"Not until we're on the way there." Stefan shook his head. Katherine's lips were pouty. "Don't ruin the surprise, babe. You're going to love it, I promise. Okay?"

Katherine let out a breath. "Fine . . . but it better be amazing."

"Oh, it will . . ." Stefan assured her, leaning in for more kisses.

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

When both Tyler and Mason Lockwood were in custody, Damon and his Mikaelson partners agreed to allow the merger to go through as planned without any incident. The celebration was rescheduled and all of the last minute odds and ends were almost done. When it was over, Elijah would go back to England with his sister and daughter leaving Klaus to stay in New York to continue running things with Damon.

The rescheduled office party had been going on for the last few hours but Damon had spent most of that time alone in his office. He sat frozen, staring at the picture of his wife and kids that always sat on the corner of his desk. He couldn't stop thinking about seeing Elena so sick and weak in that hospital bed. He'd stayed by her side as long as he could, hoping she'd wake up so that he could explain that he wanted to come home and be a family again. But . . . she never woke up yet and Elijah called to say that they needed him back in New York.

Now he was stuck in New York. Stefan had called earlier in the day to tell Damon she was awake and doing fine. Damon found out that she awoke not three hours after he left. If only he'd been able to stay by her side a little longer . . .

He felt a buzzing on the desk below his hands - there was a voice mail on his cell phone. He'd forgotten to turn the volume back on and missed a call. He didn't recognize the number the message was from but it was a Virginia area code - where his home was. He went into his voice mail to listen to the message:

"Damon, it's me . . . it's Elena . . ."

His heart jumped and he let out an inaudible sigh.

. . . it had been so long since he'd heard her voice . . .

"I-I'm okay, in the hospital but it's just the flu so . . ." She was quiet for a moment. "I know you were there at the reception when I fell and I've been told you stayed with me while I was out . . . Our last conversation wasn't exactly the best and I'm sorry I flipped out on you like that. I understand that the company is important and I shouldn't have made you choose like that. You've worked so hard to rebuild it and I am so proud of you for that. I just . . . you're never home, Damon. It doesn't feel like we're a family anymore. The boys barely know you anymore and this is hurting them too. I know we were going to try this separation thing but it just isn't working anymore."

Damon's hand clenched around the phone and he looked away from the picture on his desk.

"Please, Damon . . . don't misunderstand what I'm saying here. I will always love you and nothing could ever change that. The boys will always need their father and they'll always be in your life."

"Mr. Salvatore?"

"Out." Damon spat, waving the hand that didn't fist the phone. His assistant was gone in a second.

". . . just feel like we've changed so much, both of us. We're not the same people we used to be but that is okay. We just can't do this anymore. It's not only hurting the both of us but our boys and our family and friends too. I just think that it's time we stop ignoring the space that's grown between us. More space isn't going to fix that - maybe nothing can fix that, I don't even know I just . . . Damon, it's time that we let go. If we don't do this now, it's just going to hurt more ."

"No . . ." Damon let out a strangled breath.

"We both deserve the chance to move on and that is exactly what we need to do. I . . . I'll have our lawyer draw it up within the next couple of weeks. We'll just have to decide how we want to handle the boys and everything."

It felt to Damon as if all of the oxygen in the room was being being sucked into the vortex that he held against his ear.

". . . hoping that this could be as uncomplicated as possible, for everyone. It doesn't need to be difficult, not really. We're both adults and . . ."

He heard her take several breaths and he could even hear the hospital monitors in the background. Damon himself found it hard to breathe.

". . . Damon, I'm just trying to be rational here . . . I need to go now, the doctors want me to rest some more before they decide if I can go home. Stefan and Katherine are with the boys and they'll be staying with me for awhile until I can get back on my feet. Don't worry about any of the planning for Stefan and Katherine's wedding, Katherine and I will take care of anything. If you want to do a bachelor party for your brother that is up to the two of you. If you could just make it to the wedding for your brother, I know he really appreciates you being his best man. I hope that the merger is going well and everything is going okay. Have a good night, Damon . . ."

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

Elena's friends watched her in the weeks following after news of her split to Damon came out into the open. There wasn't a word spoken about it other than Elena's brief announcement just days after she got out of the hospital. Even the boys seemed to know not to say anything about their parent's problems.

They all watched her closely – for fear something should happen and Damon would wring their necks – despite her continued insistence that she was perfectly fine and they should worry about their own lives. It was Stefan and Katherine that watched her the most – they were living in her house after all.

They watched her focus on the wedding, taking care of the boys, and consoling Caroline as she dealt with her husband's sudden arrest. They all figured she was also working on her new book but no one actually saw her working on anything.

Every once and a while they noticed the pale, green, tinge return to her face – the doctor had said it would take her awhile to fully kick the bug in her system – but Elena never made any mention of it so no one else did either. Katherine was especially worried because her sister's clothes seemed a lot looser than usual. But with the wedding and her college classes keeping her busy she just never really said anything. There wasn't really an excuse for her laziness – and looking back later she'll wish she'd just taken a minute to say something to Elena about it – but at the time it just never occurred to her that something could happen.

"Hey babe, why don't you go bed?"

Katherine jumped, catching her books just as they were about to fall off her lap. She blinked, looking around. Stefan leaned over her in the armchair she was in, her legs dangling over one of the arm rests. When did he get home?

"Hon, everyone's asleep. Why don't we go on up." Stefan pressed a kiss to her temple.

She blinked again, shaking her head. "I have to finish this paper before this weekend."

"You don't have any classes tomorrow, right? You need to get some sleep." Stefan insisted.

As much as she didn't want to admit it, she knew he was right. She started packing up her notes and books, following Stefan upstairs to the guestroom they were staying in at Elena's house. "How was your shift at the center?" She loved that he volunteered at the rehab center. His time there had really affected him and he'd wanted to help the other addicts just like the staff at the rehab had helped him. Helped both of them really.

Stefan shrugged. "Long day. One of the patients overdosed."

Katherine nodded, rubbing his shoulder with her free hand. Her mind momentarily going back to finding him unconscious in his dorm room. She swallowed, shaking back the tears.

"Some of the patients were asking about you – some that we both were in there with a couple of times." He said. Katherine tensed. He could probably feel it in the hand she had on his shoulder. "I know you said you'd never go back, but . . ."

Katherine let out a breath. "I can't. You know that." Her tone was sharp. She went ahead of him into their room, putting her things down on the dresser.

"Katherine . . ." Stefan trailed off.

She shook her head, sitting down at the end of the bed. One of her knees bounced, shaking the bed.

Stefan let out a breath, closing the door behind him. He sat down on the bed beside her but she moved away from him. "Hey . . . I'm sorry to bring it up . . . I shouldn't have . . ."

"I'm fine." She cleared her throat. "It's okay."

The sound of crying from down the hall leaked into their bedroom. They both tensed, looking to the door.

"Got it." Stefan rose from the bed but Katherine put her hand on his thigh.

"I'll get it." Katherine pulled him down as she stood up. She didn't give him a chance to object as she made her way down the hall to Danny's room. Her youngest nephew lay wide awake in his toddler bed, screaming his head off.

"Danny, sweetie . . . what's wrong?" Katherine knelt down next to the bed.

"M-monsters . . ." Danny whimpered.

"Oh, buddy." Katherine chuckled. "Monsters, huh?"

Danny sniffled, nodding. He wiped his nose on the sleeve of his pajama shirt.

"Well . . . you know that monsters aren't real." Katherine reminded him.

"Make them go away!" Danny pulled the blanket over his head, still crying.

"Danny there aren't any here, I promise." Katherine assured him.

"No!" Danny screamed. "No more monsters!"

"Buddy, come on. You're going to wake up your brothers and your mom." Katherine let out a breath. "The monsters went away, okay?"

Danny uncovered his face, still crying. He shook his head. "You have to do the no more monsters song."

"Danny, I don't—"

"Do the song, Katty." Danny cried.

Katherine hesitated. She didn't know the song. "Danny, you need to go back to sleep."

"No . . ." Danny wailed. "No . . . song! Song! Song!"

"Danny, plea—"

"NO!" Danny started kicking the bed. "I want song!"

"Daniel Martin Salvatore!"

Both Katherine and Danny jumped, turning toward the door. Elena stood in the doorway, her hands on the hips of her robe. She walked over to the bed to sit on the other side that Katherine was on. Danny stopped kicking, still crying.

"Mommy, I want song make monsters go away." Danny pouted.

Elena let out a deep breath. "Baby there aren't any monsters in here."

"Uh huh." Danny pointed to the closet across the dark room. "In there . . ."

Elena crossed over to the closet, sliding the doors open. Danny gasped, reaching for the covers. Elena pulled the chain for the light in the closet ceiling. Light flooded the cluttered closet but no monsters.

"See? No monsters." Katherine ruffled his hair. "Time for bed."

"Song!" Danny scrunched his nose.

"Daniel, that's enough." Elena pointed her finger. "It's time for bed. There's no monsters and it's very late. You have school in the morning."

Apparently, that did the trick. Danny let out a pouty sigh and disappeared under the covers. Elena and Katherine left the room, closing the door behind them.

"Sorry sis, I was hoping to get him back to sleep before you woke up." Katherine sighed.

Elena shrugged. "I was already up. I was just waiting to see if he'd let you calm him down."

Katherine winced – that meant her sister wasn't sleeping again. "Are you feeling better? You seemed a little out of it when I got home from class tonight."

"I'm good . . . I think it's just because of this illusive bug the doctors can't fix. It takes a lot out of me." Elena smiled but Katherine saw right through it. "Really, Kat – I'm fine. What have I said about worrying about me? Focus on school and your wedding, please. I've had enough fawning over me to last a lifetime."

"But—"

"Katherine, please." Elena's voice cracked a little and she let out a breath.

"Just . . . please let Stefan and I help you when you need it. Okay?" Katherine reached out her hand to put it on her sister's shoulder but the elder woman stepped back.

"I'm okay. I just . . . I'm fine, okay? When I need help I'll ask for it." Elena huffed, going down the hall to her room and closing the door behind her.

Katherine closed her eyes and let out a breath. She thought back to all the times she'd shut her parents out when she was a teenager – had they felt as helpless as she did now with Elena? And don't even get her started with Damon . . .

"Babe, is everything okay?" She felt Stefan's arm start to wind around her waist. She turned around to face him, suddenly feeling very tired. "What is it?"

"Just Elena being stubborn." Katherine yawned.

"Business as usual then," Stefan chuckled, leading her back to their room. "Let's get some sleep."

"I can't believe we'll be married in two months." Katherine mused.

"We are responsible adults now." Stefan smirked. "You're finishing school. I'm writing for the paper. We're both sober, we live together, and we're getting married. You and me baby . . . we're on the right track."

"My Stefan, always so poetic." Katherine chuckled.

"Hey, being good with words has always given me luck with the ladies." Stefan winked.

"Just this one." Katherine pointed out, laughing.

"Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Stefan swatted her on the behind and she laughed.

"Ssshh!" She shushed in between laughing as they got to their room and shut the door. He pushed his hand through her hair by her ear, leaning in to kiss her. She squealed as her knees hit the bed and and he toppled over her. They both were laughing now and still kissing.

Katherine pushed him to the side. "What's up babe?" He said. She scrunched her face, pulling his phone out from under her back. They both looked at it and laughed. "Oops." He shrugged. She yawned again. "Okay, I'm callin' it . . . it's a sleep night. As beautiful as you are even with bags under your eyes you know you'll regret it if you don't get some sleep so you can rock out that paper tomorrow."

Katherine scrunched her nose, sighing. "Yeah . . . you're probably right." She started to sit up but Stefan lay his hand on her arm.

"Hey, I'm sorry about before . . . I know that we had different experiences at the rehab center and I shouldn't have pushed. If you ever want to go back and visit, it should be on your terms – even if you decide that's never."

Katherine's eyes softened, leaning over to kiss him. "Thanks babe . . . I didn't mean to snap." She sighed. "There's just . . ." She swallowed. ". . . too many memories and I can't—" Stefan nodded. "Maybe . . . someday. I don't know." She let out a breath. "Let's just focus on one thing at a time, okay?"

"Sounds reasonable to me." Stefan shrugged, kissing her. "Okay . . . let's crash."

TVDTVDTVDTVDTVD

Damon looked up from the computer at his brother, still typing an instant message to Rose. Stefan was also at his computer – probably talking to Katherine or something. "Hey Stef – u know who this Donovan punk is?" He read a message that Rose just sent him and laughed.

"What?"

Damon let out a huff. "Matt Donovan. Elena's been spending a lot of time with him. Isn't he on the football team you used to be on?"

Stefan smirked. "Why you jealous?"

"No." Damon said immediately, his fingers freezing on the keyboard. Stefan was still smirking. Couldn't he just be concerned for her for crying out loud? "He just seems like trouble."

Stefan shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Whatever you say, brother. Matt's the captain of the team – all set for a full college scholarship. He actually seems like a good guy."

"Yeah, well . . . we've all got our secrets don't we Golden Boy." Damon snarled. Stefan let out a breath, turning back to his computer. "Tell JailBait I said hi."

"You know Kat hates it when you call her that. I don't even think she knows what it means." Stefan said.

"Oh she knows." Damon smirked. "You'll find that out soon enough, brother."

"Whatever." Stefan pounded some keys and stormed off, closing the door to the computer room.

Damon chuckled, shaking his head. It still amazed him that the whole school knew how much trouble boozy Katherine Saltzman was and yet Stefan – who spent the most time with her – still didn't see it. Though little brother wasn't perfect either – they didn't call him Ripper in school for nothing. The boy ripped through bags of weed and coke like a heavy weight champ. Unless you asked their father – then Stefan was the Golden Boy, pride and joy of the Salvatore lineage.

Anyway, back to Rose . . . he sent her another message and waited for her reply. They'd been hanging out a lot lately – but they both knew it wouldn't be more than just hooking up. She knew he liked Elena and he knew she liked her neighbor Trevor but it didn't stop them from having fun. She was out of school now and at Whitmore College but they still hung out. He was a senior – so close to eighteen he could practically taste it. Then he was out of here.

Rose gave him the idea to enlist in the army – see the world, get out of Mystic Falls, meet some new people. He already had the application filled out – he was just waiting for his eighteenth birthday.

Why did two weeks have to take so long? And just two days after graduation . . .

"DAMON!"

Damon's head dropped at the sound of his father's voice. Ugh . . . what did he do this time? Hell . . . he didn't know if he was gonna make it two weeks let alone two hours . . .

TVD

Elena was sitting at the desk in her room doing her homework. She wanted to get an early start on a couple of her last papers and projects for the year. Katherine was still grounded from the party incident a couple of months ago – not that that really stopped her from using the phone, the computer, or sneaking out. Aunt Jenna and Uncle Alaric really were way over their heads with Elena's younger sibling. And Jeremy, though he wasn't grounded any more ... Mr. Not-So-Invincible whined constantly now because he was stuck with a full leg cast and shoulder sling. Really, though, what did he expect from jumping out of a tree after the neighbor's cat?

"Elena, sweetie, you have a phone call." Her aunt poked her head in Elena's door, holding the land-line in her hand.

Elena turned her head. "Who is it?" She raised her eyebrow. Hmm . . .

Jenna's face seemed sad. "It's Stefan."

"What is it? I'm trying to do homework." Elena stood up, not liking the somber tone in her aunt's voice. And really, usually when Stefan called it was for Katherine.

"I think you should talk to him, sweetie." Jenna held out the phone. Elena took it and held it up to her ear as Jenna closed the door.

"Hey Stefan." Elena spoke into the phone.

"Hey Elena . . ." Stefan trailed off.

"You sound weird, Stefan. What is it?" Elena knew of his school nickname and how he'd gotten it – she may be the good kid in the house but she wasn't stupid or blind. He didn't sound high though. He sounded just as sad as Jenna.

"Elena, I—" He paused. "I didn't want to tell you over the phone but my dad's freaking out and I can't really leave so . . ."

"Just tell me already!" Elena shouted, her heart racing a mile a minute.

"Damon's gone . . ." Stefan spoke as if he let it all out in one breath. Wait, what?

"What are you talking about?" Elena's voice cracked.

"Elena, I know how close you and my brother are and . . ." Stefan paused.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S GONE!"

"Yeah . . . he and my dad got into a huge fight." Stefan said.

"But they always do." Elena said.
"It was bad this time, Elena . . . I don't even really know what it was about. My dad won't talk about it and Damon—"

"Yes?" Elena held in a breath.

"He took off – I don't think he's coming back." Stefan sighed.

"I . . ." Elena's chest heaved. She wasn't asthmatic but she was kind of finding it hard to breathe right now . . .

"Yeah . . . he said something about the army, and getting the hell out of Mystic Falls. He sounded serious."

"But . . ." Elena's eyes widened. "No . . . he can't. He's not even eighteen!"

"He will be in like two weeks, remember? I'm so sorry, Elena . . ."

Tears leaked down her eyes as she struggled to breathe. "I need you to tell me he'll come back." She cried. "Tell me he'll come back. Stefan, he's my best friend . . . god, your brother . . ."

"Elena . . ." Stefan sounded as broken as she felt.

"Please . . ." She sank to her knees. "How are we going to get through this?"

"I . . . I don't know, Elena. There isn't really a right or wrong way . . ." Stefan sighed.

"No, there's just forever." She heard the door open but couldn't really process it. "I need you to give me hope. Tell me he'll come back because I don't think I can live the rest of my life without him."

"Elena, I—"

Sobs wracked her body as the phone dropped out of her hands. She buried her face in her hands on the floor, her tears soaking the plush white carpet.

She felt a pair of arms wrap around her shoulders and a warm body against her. By the smell of lilac and oranges she could tell it was her aunt Jenna. "He's gone, aunt Jenna." She sobbed, sitting up to face her aunt. "My best friend's gone . . ."

"Oh, sweetie I know . . . Stefan told me." Jenna pushed the hair out of her face. "It's a difficult situation . . . I never did like that Giuseppe. I couldn't understand why your dad was so close to him."

"Why'd he have to leave?" Elena gulped, trying to breathe.

"Damon's had it rough for a while, kiddo. He looks more like their mother than Stefan does, and well . . . it's hard to explain why people do the things they do – especially adults. Sometimes we don't even know that the hell we're doing, to be honest with you. Damon'll cool down and he'll come home eventually – I know he will." Jenna assured her.

"How do you know?" Elena sniffled.

Jenna shrugged. "He's your best friend – and you're his. He can't be without his best friend forever can he?"

"What if I'm not?" Elena looked down.

"Oh, sweetie I don't think there's any doubt that you are." Jenna chuckled. "He just has some things to work through. Now, you just have to pick yourself up and keep on living your life. Okay?"

Elena sniffled again, nodding.

"I know it won't be easy, but you'll get through it." Jenna told her. "We're strong in this family, remember that. We get through anything." They both were silent for a moment thinking of Elena's parent's, Alaric's ex-wife, and all the others they'd lost. And now . . . Damon left her too.

He said he would never leave her. He said he'd always be there for her . . . he said . . .

No. Jenna was right. She had to pick herself up and be strong just like she had before.

Over the next few months she did exactly that. She didn't let losing her best friend define her. She surrounded herself with people to help her and support her. She started to get closer to Matt who she was seriously starting to crush on. Stefan was still around, but he was mostly around Katherine – though it was obvious that he was spiraling just as much as Elena was.

She joined the cheer leading squad (despite how much her brother and sister teased her) and became good friends with Bonnie and Caroline. They had sleepovers and talked about girly things – it helped Elena to dull the pain of losing her best friend.

She never forgot about Damon and she thought about him all the time . . . but Jenna was right. She had to move on with her life.

In the back of her mind, though, she never lost hope that her Damon, her boo buddy, would come back to her and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

to be continued . . .

Author's note: Okay, so I know I'm terrible at updating all of my stories lately but I've had renewed inspiration for this story. I have more that I wanted for this chapter but I decided to end it here and put the rest in the next chapter – this one was getting a little long. With any luck, the next chapter should be as soon as possible. Oh, and there was a conversation in the chapter that played out similarly in a recent episode that I thought really fit with the story . . . did anyone see it? I hope everyone has a good holiday and has some good days off and time with their families.