(A/N: I somehow find it amusing to write about a drunk Gendry, and this time, Arya. Oneshot, modern AU. It's purely dialogue; I'm hoping you guys don't get confused haha. This fic is meant to be read as you sing 99 Bottles of Beer. Enjoy!)
"Okaaay now, guys. We're here."
"Thanks for driving us home, Hot Pie!"
"You don't have to shout, Gendry. I can hear perfectly well."
"I know! But I can't seem to hear my voice, it's like I'm swimming under water!"
"Dude, you're piss drunk."
"Get out now, stupid! We're here, woohoo!"
"Sssh, Arya! Stop shouting in my ear!"
"I'm in the back and you're sitting up front, you idiot. Now get out!"
"Uh, guys…I'd try not to make too much of a ruckus. It's 2 am, in case you don't know."
"Bye now Hot Pee!"
"It's Hot Pie, Arya. And you're piss drunk too."
"All this talk about pee makes me want to pee."
"Don't pee in Catelyn's rose bushes, Gen. Okay, can you find your way back to the house?"
"Don't be stupid! I live here!"
"Uh, no Gen. Arya lives here."
"She does?"
"Okay, get out of the car. Make sure you walk a straight line before cops arrest you."
"I've never been to jail."
"I don't plan to be in jail, stupid! Now come on! Bye Hot Pee!"
"Where are we going?"
"We're going through the back door! My dad might be in the living room and he can't see me like this."
"Why?"
"Do you want to be killed? My dad's a pretty good shot."
"I don't want to die."
"Well come on then!"
"What's taking you so long? I have to pee."
"I can't find my keys."
"Where is it?"
"I don't know, stupid! I lost my keys!"
"Do you want to go up that tree?"
"That's the best thing I've heard from you all night. Okay, I need a boost."
"I don't have any. I just drank all the beer."
"I need a boost, not booze, genius. We're both drunk but I'm still more sober than you."
"Okay, just put your feet here and I'll throw you up that tree."
"Not if I want to break my neck! You can't just throw me!"
"It's possible! Captain America made Black Widow leap using his shield and he threw her up in the air."
"You don't have a shield! And that's a fucking movie, Gendry!"
"Ding! Ding! Ding! I have an idea!"
"Uh oh, here we go…"
"Shut up!"
"Did you just tell me to shut the fuck up?"
"Yes! You talk too fucking much."
"Maybe I should just tell my dad to let me in and he'll shoot you with his gun."
"I don't want to die. Can I just hold you up that tree?"
"Fine! Help me up!"
"Ow! Don't step on my face!"
"It's in the way!"
"Hurry, Arya! I really have to pee now."
"If you pee in your pants, I'll never talk to you again."
"Can you stop eating too much chocolate? You're getting heavy."
"Can you stop talking too much? I'll step on your face again."
"Stopping now!"
"There! I just need to reach my window…aarrrrrgh…okay! I'm in!"
"Uh…Arya?"
"Sssh! Quiet!"
"Arya? What about me?"
"Aren't you going home?"
"Okay. Bye."
"Don't pee in my mom's garden."
…
…
…
"Arya?"
"What?"
"I don't have a car."
"Shit. Okay, I'll go back down and open the back door. Stay there."
"Hurry. Need to pee, remember?"
"Just stay put!"
"Arya?"
"For fuck's sake, what now?"
"You didn't tell me your dad had a shotgun."
"Dad! Don't shoot! It's Gendry!"
"Arya, your boyfriend just peed in his pants."