The music thumps through the walls of the dingy staircase as Sugar leads us up to Nico's apartment. I had agreed to dress as a doctor, a sexy doctor, at the pleads of Brittany. "You look so hot," she leans in to whisper with a squeeze of my arm.

"You look hot." I say, scanning her with my eyes. That Sailor Moon costume was made for her.

"And me?" Sugar asks, incredulously.

"You look amazing, Sugar!" Brittany answers. "Princess Leia's bikini is like the sexiest costume ever. Nico is going to love it."

I roll my eyes as we reach the top floor but as if cashing in on some instant karma, I trip on the last step. "Ah!"

"Whoa." Brittany, quick on her feet, takes hold of me. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I say, straightening my skirt. "I think I might have taken one too many shots of tequila at home."

Brittany giggles and kisses my cheek. "I'll take care of you. You can drink as much as you want tonight."

"Don't tempt me with a good time, Britt."

Although, now that we stand here waiting for the metal barn door to open, drinking till I can't remember my own name doesn't sound too bad. I haven't had a night like that in… since… well… It's been a shitty past couple of months. I need this.

The heavy door slides open midway, jams, then slams open completely. "Hey!" Nico greets us. "Wow! Sugar you look… absolutely… wow," he breathes out in his goofy Han Solo outfit.

Sugar blushes before launching herself into his arms.

"Come in, ladies! Please!" He urges.

We step further into the single room studio to find groups of bearded misfits, cheap versions of Bob Marley, and men who look about fifteen years too old to be skaters scattered around the large room.

"Well this is a sausage fest," I comment as the smell of weed fills my nostrils and one too many sets of pervy male gazes land on us. "Did any of these people even bother to wear a costume?"

Nico laughs as he scratches the back of his head "Yeah, um… I guess most of the guys were more interested in showing up for the weed and alcohol. But thank you guys for coming. I'll go get you some drinks."

I feel Brittany dancing in place next to me. She's taking in the room, her long pigtails following the movement of her body. "I like his place. Feels like we're back in college… Oh!" Her face lights up as she grabs both Sugar and me by the arm. "We should smoke a little-" She brings her hand up to her mouth and takes a puff of her imaginary joint. "You guys totally owe me for not smoking with me back in the day."

Sugar shakes her head and waves her hands in front of her. "No, no. Count me out. Nico already talked me into it once and I ended up locked in his closet convinced there was a man on his fire escape. Turns out it had been my own reflection on his window…"

"I always did think you had the resemblance of a small Italian man," I quip.

"What-" she starts.

"San, how about you?" Brittany cuts in, her eyes wide and excited.

"I don't know Brittany. I was kinda planning on drinking the equivalent of my body weight."

"You can do that too! I told you I'll take care of you." She bounces on her toes and brings her hands together in excitement, making herself look even more adorable in that costume. "I'll be back!" With that, she runs off in the direction of a small kitchen where Nico is mixing some drinks. She says a few words to him and he responds with a huge grin and a nod of his head. Brittany, looking back at us, throws a thumbs up.

/

"Don't...do it," I demand, my hands clamped at the sides of the concrete bathroom sink. I'm staring back at my reflection, my face looking a little flushed. I knew that last tequila shot was a mistake the second it slid down my throat. I lost count of how many drinks I had thrown back. At some point it was no longer my choice, they just kept appearing in my hand. Brittany's few attempts at slowing me down were unsuccessful. I was so buzzed, I had actually started enjoying the company of all the bearded men children. I even managed to not completely turn down an invitation from a group of girls who pulled Brittany and me into their dance circle. Brittany was, of course, delighted.

"Santana?" A small knock comes from the door. "Can I come in?"

Without a word, I unlock the door and quickly reach back for the sink. Brittany slips inside the small room and locks the door behind her.

"You okay?" She asks with a soft, concerned voice. Her hand lands on my lower back and makes me feel a tiny bit better. "Maybe you'll feel better if you just do it. I can hold your hair," she offers sweetly, running a hand down the back of my head.

I look at her through the mirror in front of me and smile at the offer but turn it down. "I hate puking."

"Want to smoke some more?" She asks, pulling a half smoked joint from her top. "It can help…"

I shake my head no again. "I think I'm ok," I say, taking in a long, deep breath. I turn around to face her, closing my eyes and lilting my head back a little to keep the room from spinning. "I'm trashed."

Brittany chuckles and places her hands on my arms, her thumbs stroking my bare skin. We stay that way for a few seconds. Silence. My eyes are still closed when I feel her step closer and land a slow, lingering kiss on my throat.

I open my eyes and find blue dilated pupils staring back at me.

"You look tasty," she says, her tone serious.

"You look high," I breathe out through a laugh.

Her lips break into a small smile that stretches into a toothy one. I can't help but match it with one of my own. It's infectious. "You're cute," I say.

What happens next comes quickly, organically, and without a chance of being revised. I'd like to be able to blame it on the alcohol, but I can't entirely do that. I feel so happy, so at ease even when just moments ago I wanted to puke my insides out, so comfortable at the touch of Brittany's hands and so warmed by her smile that the words spill out. "I love you," I whisper as my body melts into hers. Her arms come undone as quickly as she had wrapped them around me. I feel myself tense up and she pulls back to find my eyes.

I've said those three words to her before, but this time feels different and by the way she's looking at me, she knows this to be true. This time we're not trying to make each other feel better with words. I'm saying it because I feel it in my core. I love her. And I wanted to say it outloud. But she doesn't immediately say anything and it makes me panic. I want to fix it. I want to take it back. "I-"

"I love you," she cuts in. Her eyes are flickering back and forth between my own as if she is trying to get them to tell her something. My lips twitch at the corners when I get a tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach. It's like there is an invisible rope between us which is tugging me towards her. I give into the tug and wrap her in a tight hug. My face finding her neck like a baby kitten curling into itself for warmth.

"Hey," she whispers, breaking the hug to get a look at me. "How drunk are you?"

I laugh. "I know what I'm saying, Britt. How high are you?

"I feel... like i'm floating on a cloud… but it's not because I'm high."

I chuckle awkwardly, bringing my hands up to my cheeks to feel how hot they have suddenly become. This is new.

"You, okay?" she asks. "Want some water?"

"That'd be great actually."

"Okay, i'll get it. Wait here."

"I'll come with you."

"No," she states. "Wait here. I want to talk some more."

At that, I frown. I don't regret saying those three words, but there is not much I want to add for now. Definitely not a conversation's worth. My cheeks are on fire at this point.

She starts for the door but stops and turns around. "Come here," she says, pulling me against her by the waist. She holds my gaze for a few seconds. Jesus, she's making me as nervous as she did back when we were kids. Without saying another word, she captures my bottom lip in between hers. When she pulls away to rearrange the angle, she licks her lips before pressing them against mine again.

It's getting hot and heavy now and Brittany chuckles when she realizes I'm beginning to struggle to breathe. "Sorry," she says, pulling back. Her cheeks are colored in a light pink now. "I'll go get you that water."

She leaves the small room and I turn back to hanging my head over the sink. I'm just starting to get a grip of myself again when someone comes crashing through the door.

"Whoops!" A seemingly drunk "sexy" cop says. "Were you just about done? I really can't wait."

I scoff and begin to exit.

"Santana, right?"

I stop, my hand on the door knob. "I'd ask who you are, but I never really did like cops."

"Do you mind giving me a hand?" She signals at the zipper running down the back of her tight leotard, completely ignoring my disinterest. "I'm really about to piss myself. One too many Mai Tais, you know?"

"Classy." I roll my eyes and step towards her. "It's stuck."

"Don't be afraid to be a little rough with it," she teases. "I'm Katie by the way."

"I didn't ask."

"I asked around about you," she informs me.

I tug on the zipper harder this time and it pops off the teeth. "Whoops."

Her leotard comes undone from around her torso and she's forced to hold it together by holding her arms across her chest.

"Here you go, Officer Jugs," I say, placing the broken zipper on her open palm.

In that moment, there comes a knock on the door and Brittany lets herself in, stopping abruptly when she sees the added person in the room. She looks at me, then analyzes the girl in front of me. Her face is unreadable as she notices this girl is about to spill out of her top.

"Hey-" I start.

"What's going on?" she asks.

"Nothing, c'mon." I take her hand and lead her back into what has become a considerably larger group. After finding us a spot far enough away from the dancing crowd, I take the cup of water she's been holding and take a few sips from it. "How are you feeling?"

Brittany shrugs. "Okay," she tells me before looking back into the crowd.

"You sure?"

She nods, still not making much eye contact.

I shift uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Should we go home? Maybe we could talk more there… Like you wanted." I most definitely do not want to pick up on our last conversation, but if talking some more will get her to smile at me again, I'm willing to try it.

She glances at me and presses her lips. "Yeah."

"Yeah? Okay." I offer her my hand and she takes it.

We give our quick thanks and goodbyes to Sugar and Nico who calls us a cab and in less than fifteen minutes we're seated in the backseat of a taxi on our way home. The ride is quiet and uncomfortable. There's a very obvious distance being put by Brittany and I can guess why.

"I don't know who that girl was," I start, waiting for a reaction. There is none. Brittany continues looking out her window. "Well, she said her name was Saidie or something, but I literally hadn't even noticed her at the party."

"Okay," she simply says, nodding. "That's okay."

"Britt..." I scoot myself to sit as close as I can to her. This gets her attention and she turns to look at me. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sure that looked weird, but she just needed help unzipping her ridiculous outfit before she pissed herself. The zipper broke off her cheap Party City costume. That's why her tits were a single pepperoni nipple away from making a Halloween special appearance."

Brittany cracks a tiny smile which encourages me.

"Please don't be upset… I love you…" I remind her in a coy whisper.

Her smile widens and she looks up at me through her eyelashes. "I didn't mean to get weird about it. Sorry. You shouldn't have to explain."

"That's okay. I take it as a compliment. I kinda like seeing you a little jealous."

Brittany lets out a laugh, shaking her head. "I'm usually not but… I don't know. I guess I just really like having your full attention."

"You have it. Completely. You've always had it."

/

When we make it back to the apartment, I head straight to the alcohol cabinet. If Brittany insists on continuing our conversation, I will need to get that alcohol courage back.

"Ouuu… Hard alcohol?" Brittany comments.

"And straight." I take a sip of the warm whiskey and wince. "My least favorite. Want some?"

"I do," she says, coming up behind me. She turns me around before I can serve another glass. Her cat-like eyes staring at my lips light up my entire body and the way she's running her hands up and down my arms is tender as it is suggestive. Her hand moves to rest on my cheek before she lands a soft kiss on my lips. "You know alcohol off your lips is my favorite way to have it."

"Are you seducing me?"

She shrugs with a smirk. "Do you want me to?"

I answer that by closing the gap between our lips once again. Seeming encouraged by this, Brittany begins unzipping the front of my lab coat dress in a swift move until it reveals my black lace undergarments. "Wow," she breathes out, taking a look at me.

I laugh and lean into her, embarrassed by her reaction.

"How are you so cute and so sexy at the same time?" she asks, matching my laughter.

We sway in place for a few seconds but she then bends at the knees and lifts me up with both arms, my legs wrapping around her. "Ahhh!"

She shuffles us across the apartment until we stumble into my bedroom and clumsily land on my bed. We are still laughing but it quickly dies down when Brittany pulls her top off over her head causing my blood to flow just a little faster. It's not long after that that I feel the weight of her perfect long torso resting on my own. Her small breasts pushed against me. She begins kissing the length of my neck, but I'm quick to flip our positions.

Brittany laughs as I struggle to do so. "I knew you'd be the kind to want to take control," she says when she's finally underneath me.

"Mhm," It's my turn to kiss her neck. Her earlobe. Her jaw. I give her nose a single kiss before locking my eyes with hers. "I love you, Brittany. I'm going to show you just how much."

/

The next morning I wake up to the sound of Brittany moving about the room. I open my eyes and stretch across the bed, my back muscles relaxing.

"Did I wake you?" she asks.

"Hmm. That's okay." I prop myself up on my elbows. "What are you doing up?"

"It's almost noon," she answers through a smile. She pulls out a sweater from her designated drawer and pulls it on.

I wait for her to make eye contact before patting the spot on the bed next to me. "Come back."

Her smile grows and she does as she's told. Slipping back under the covers, she cuddles me in between her arms.

"Sugar and Nico invited us to brunch. I told them we'd meet them there at noon," she says, and I can hear the vibrations of her voice run through her chest as I rest my head there.

"We will?" I ask, curiously.

"Are you not hungry?"

"After last night?" I look up to meet her eyes. "Starving."

Her lips stretch into a bashful smirk. "I believe that," she says. We hold eye contact for a few seconds before I rest my head back down on her chest. "You know, I… I had thought about it before. About me and you."

"Mhm?" I try encouraging her to continue.

"Like more than once. In different scenarios."

I smile. "Perv."

At that, she chuckles. "No, not like- well yes. I mean-"

"I'm joking, Britt." I glance up again. "That's hot."

Her face relaxes into that sweet smile I love so much. "I never imagined it'd be like that."

I frown. "As in?"

"That good," she quickly clarifies. "It was… You're… I never imagined you'd be so generous in bed."

I laugh and shrug with an air of arrogance. "I might be a bitch in my day to day life but I give back when I'm in bed with a hot chick." I instantly realize how indifferent that might have sounded and try to ease any doubts. "And when I get to share my bed with the most gorgeous, most kind, and amazing woman I've ever met, I just had to bring out my most generous moves." I look up and find her smiling down on me before leaning forward to land a tender kiss on my lips. We kiss once, then twice, and a third time. She inhales deeply.

"You should get ready," she says, catching her breath.

"Let's skip it. We have a lot of catching up to do," I suggest and squeeze her waist suggestively.

She exhales a chuckle and slips her arms from around me before getting out of bed. "We'll have plenty of time for that," she says and tosses a pillow at me.

"Hey! Watch the face."

She apologizes with a laugh and leans down to hover over me. "Sorry," she says again and pecks the tip of my nose. "Now, hurry up."

I groan audibly and throw the covers off myself. "Gave you the best night of your life and this is how I'm thanked," I joke.

"Yeah, yeah!"

/

"So I told Nico, 'If one more of your friends throws up, I will never set foot on these floors again.'" Sugar finishes. Or at least I hope she has.

We've been listening to her recap of the previous night for what feels like eternity. I stare at her with a straight face from across the restaurant table. My arms crossed and my head slightly tilted back in boredom.

"And did they?" Brittany asks, her attention fully invested in the story. I grimace at her level of interest. "Did someone else throw up? Cause Santana almost did."

"Ew, you did?" Sugar asks, redirecting everyone's attention to me.

I roll my eyes. "I didn't."

Brittany runs a hand up and down my back and gives me a look. One that says she's sorry for sharing that detail.

"Well, no one did after the first two," Sugar notes.

"Although I do love me a good chat about puke before my first meal of the day," I cut in. "Can we talk about hmm I don't know, literally anything that doesn't include the ejection of human fluids."

Nico agrees and asks how our night went after we left. "You guys left pretty early. Did anything fun?"

Sugar hides a snicker behind her menu and I shoot her a glare.

"Not that it's any of your guys' business, but no we went straight home," I explain. I look over at Brittany for reinforcement but she's concentrated on her phone. Her fingers moving furiously across the screen. "Britt?"

"Hm?" She peels her eyes off the device in front of her to find everyone's attention on her. "Oh, sorry," she says, setting her phone face down on the table. "What was that, Nico?"

"I asked what you guys got up to after you left my place."

"Oh. Um nothing… much?" She shrugs and looks to me for backup this time.

At that exact moment, the waitress comes by our table with our food. She sets Brittany's dish down last with a recap of her order. "And the egg white omelette with turkey sausage, wheat toast, and a side of peanut butter."

It only takes a few seconds before Sugar gasps as her eyes go wide. "You guys had sex!"

The waitress awkwardly excuses herself and Brittany suppresses a laugh.

"Sugar what the hell!" I shriek.

"You guys did!" She turns to Nico. "Babe, they did. Brittany told me she always eats egg whites and peanut butter the day after she has sex. She says the protein, 'recharges her battery.'"

Nico chuckles. "Hon, maybe they want to keep that to themselves."

"They did though," she repeats, this time more quietly but pointing at Brittany's food.

"Sugar, you are fucking unbelievable," I scold.

"Me? She asks, incredulously. "What about you?"

"Alright, alright. Let's all just… just chill out," Nico offers. "Anyone want a mimosa? I'm going to get us some mimosas."

I can feel Brittany watching me. I'm anticipating her touch and her, "are you ok?" look. I've come to know her looks very well. Like clockwork, her right hand lands on my lower back and I'm forced to look in her direction. Her crystal blue eyes are expressing worry. I blink heavily and shake my head with a shrug, my way of telling her I'm not happy but it's fine.

"So anyway…" Brittany starts. "My sister is getting married."

"Laura?" Sugar asks.

Laura is Brittany's "nice" sister. She has been dating the same guy since high school and Brittany had accurately predicted he would be proposing soon.

"Yeah, she told me just now. They're getting married in a few months. She's actually coming up here in a week to look for a wedding dress. You guys should come with us."

"Ohhh that would be so fun! Count me in!"

Brittany turns to me, expectantly.

"Yeah," is all I answer as I focus on enjoying my plate of pancakes. In reality, shopping for wedding dresses is something I have zero interest in. I've only met Brittany's sister a few times, she seemed nice enough but we never crossed more than a few words. But Brittany is asking me to be part of it, and I hardly ever have a real reason to deny her anything

/

The past week has been one of the best weeks I've had in a long time. It's probably up there with the week I went to California with my mom and my first week in Chicago. Spending time with Brittany has felt different since the night of Nico's party. Different in a good way. I feel more at ease around her. And I think she feels the same way around me. She seems a lot more comfortable to be herself. It's as if having said we love you to each other has unlocked a different level of comfort and trust between us. I don't know what sex would have been like before but it is amazing now. It's the perfect mix between intimacy, trust, passion, and lust.

There are times when Brittany watches me as we lie in bed after sex. She always looks like she's at the verge of asking me something important because her concentration is evident but the question never comes.

"You're doing it again," I tell her, my eyes closing after having taken a peek at her. We are lying under the covers, facing each other. Her arm is draped over my hip while the other holds one of my own hands in the space in between us.

She exhales out a chuckle through her nose and I open my eyes.

"What's with you?" I ask with a smile.

"Nothing."

"It's not nothing. I know there's something going on in that head of yours. Tell me."

"I just love you." Her hand comes up off my hip to stroke my face. "So much."

I scoot forward until there is no more space left between us and kiss her lips. "Me too. I love me, I mean. I love me so much. We have that in common."

Brittany rolls her eyes with a smile and tries rolling away from me.

"Wait," I say, pulling her back. "I love you more though. And I love myself, like a lot so…"

At that, she pulls at my waist so that the entirety of our torsos are pushed against one another and kisses me. "Thank you for agreeing to go shopping with us today," she says.

"Yeah, well… There isn't much I can deny you these days and I think you're catching on to that."

Brittany's lips form into a smirk which she tries but fails to hide. "Do you want to take a shower with me?" She asks as she uses her finger to draw invisible doodles on my arm.

"Do you want me to take a shower with you?"

"Very much so," she nods and pokes one of my breasts.

I laugh and say, "Then yes, yes I do."