This was my entry for the SLASH WRITER'S WORKSHOP ANONYMOUS PLOT BUNNY PROMPT COMPETITION. – I can't believe I won. I've never won anything in my entire life. I feel so special and honored now.

Thanks to harrytwifan for being my beta. I appreciate your help a lot.

Of Losing & Finding Love

The clock hand on the kitchen wall moves forward. It's finally midnight. I look over to the phone, waiting for it to start ringing. Mom promised to call me during her nightshift at the hospital. I walk over to the fridge and pull out the milk to drink the remainder in the bottle.

Use a glass, Edward. Mom's voice echoes in my ears. During the last months we have been constantly arguing with each other. Mom is too clingy. She doesn't want me to grow up because the thought of being alone is frightening for her. Are all mothers like that or just mine? For as long as I can remember, it has always been just the two of us. Maybe I should try to help her find a boyfriend. It would distract her a bit.

My stomach rumbles, and I decide to make myself a cheese sandwich. After eating half of it, I place the rest on a plate and wrap some foil on top.

In case, you're hungry. PS: We need milk. Love, E

Taking a last look at the phone, I decide to call it a night and go to bed. Mom is probably too busy to call during her stupid nightshift. When I come home from school tomorrow, she'll have to leave soon.

My bed is comfy but cold. I bury my face against the pillow, inhaling the faint scent of softener. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep. Then I hear the phone ringing downstairs and jump up.

"Hey, Mom," I slur into the receiver. "You woke me up. It's fucking three a.m."

"Edward? Sweetie, this is Siobhan Connor. I work with your mother."

She sniffs, and when she speaks up again her voice is tear-filled.

"Can you sit down for me, sweetie?"

"Is something wrong?" I ask, suddenly feeling much more awake than just moments ago

"Sweetie, please, just sit down, okay? There was an accident."

The following hour passes around me while I feel like some kind of passive bystander. I get dressed and call a taxi to get to the hospital, where I'm greeted by a crying brunette who introduces herself as Siobhan.

I tell her there has to be a mistake. Mom shouldn't even have been out there during the time the accident happened. She's supposed to be still at work.

"Oh sweetie," Siobhan sobs. "She…she…left earlier today. She wanted to surprise you because it's your birthday." She pulls out a tissue and wipes her nose. "I'm sorry. This is not how I usually am. I have to tell people stuff like this all the time. Elizabeth and I, we've worked together for over ten years. She was such a dear person."

"She was?" I croak. "Is she dead? She can't be dead!"

"Sweetie, come with me. Dr. Gerandy is going to explain everything to you."

"Explain what to me?" I ask, following her into a small cube-shaped office at the end of the corridor.

"Dr. Gerandy, this is Edward, Elizabeth's son."

"Hello, Edward." The grey-haired man greets me in a nasal voice. "Please, take a seat, boy. Elizabeth was in an accident. Lightning hit a tree and it crashed on her car."

I nod my head. Buying this car was my idea, because I wanted to have a decent ride when I eventually got my license. Mom hates it. She had trouble with the shifting and had been complaining that the insurance-rates were too high anyway. Those insurance-rates and a bunch of other never-ending bills were the reason why she'd started working night shifts again. Being a single parent is difficult.

"Edward, did you hear what I just told you? Your mother is dead. When the ambulance arrived at the accident location, they couldn't do anything for her."

Dr. Gerandy makes me swallow a plastic cup filled with some bitter tasting water. There must be some kind of tranquilizer in it, because seconds later, a strange numbness spreads through me.

He takes my hand and pulls me towards the elevator, pressing the button for the basement floor. Pathology, it reads in thick black letters on a white background next to the door.

I don't even manage to make it inside the morgue. My stomach revolts, and my entire body quivers until something sharp pinches the skin on my arm and I tumble into darkness.

xxxx

A couple of hours later, I wake up again in a hospital bed. There is a nurse sitting next to my bed. She hands me a cup of orange juice and murmurs something about everything being okay again. Bull shit! I'm sixteen and completely alone in the world. How in heaven's name is anything ever going to be okay again?

Someone knocks on the door, and I spill a bit of the juice on my sheets when two police officers walk in.

"Hello, Mr. Masen," the female of them greets me. "I'm Officer Weber. This is Officer Cheney. We're sorry about your loss. Did you manage to sleep a bit?"

"Ye-s," I stutter, sitting up a bit straighter in the bed. "Are you here because of my mother?"

The man pulls a plastic chair from the corner and sits down on it. "Child Services contacted us to find out if you have any living relatives."

"There is no one," I tell them, feeling an unpleasant tightening around my heart. Alone, I think; I'm truly alone now.

"Well…," the man starts, pulling out a notebook. "Does the name Anthony Cullen ring any bells for you?"

"Anthony Cullen? That was my English grandfather. He died when I was like five or something."

"Died? Well, let me check this information again. Anthony Cullen, born June 20th …oh maybe this is a mistake. June 20th is your birthdate, isn't it?"

He flips through the pages and reads out loud. "We've managed to find your father though. His name is Carlisle Cullen."

xxxx

My mother never liked talking much about my father. They met when she was in nursing school. Both of them were young and fell head over heels in love. The reality of handling a screaming infant pretty much killed the romantic atmosphere quite soon. After the divorce, Carlisle moved back to England and we never heard from him again. I didn't even know he was living in the States now.

"Hello, Edward," he greets me in a calm voice when he enters my hospital room. "You know who I am, right? It has been a while."

He takes the chart on my nightstand and reads through it. "Valium? I need to talk this through with your doctor."

"Why are you here?" I ask him, trying to turn over to the side, which is difficult because there is some kind of tube in my hand. Can I just rip that out? No, that's going to make it bleed and I can't stomach the sight of my own blood.

"The police called me. I'm very sorry about your mother."

"She's dead," I whisper. The moment the words leave my mouth, I start to tremble, despite the tranquilizers.

"Cry if you feel like it. That's okay," he tells me, placing his hand carefully on mine. His fingers are cold and I flinch, especially after the next sentence he speaks. "We need to arrange the funeral."

"No!"

"Edward, I know this is difficult for you. I'm sorry. If there is anything I can do, just tell me."

"Why are you here? You haven't given a shit about me for most of my life. So, why did you come here now?"

"I'm here because the situation has changed."

Situation? Mom being dead is a fucking situation to him?

"Can you look at me, Edward? I'm sorry this happened to you. Elizabeth was a wonderful woman, no matter how things between she and I turned out."

His cells starts beeping, and he apologizes to me before answering it.

"Hello, darling. Yes, I had a good flight, Esme. I'm with him now. Can we talk later? What? Yes, he does look like Anthony. You can see for yourself when we come back to Seattle. No, don't paint the guest room. Look, I'll call you later from the hotel. I love you. Bye."

He clears his throat. "That was my wife. Esme is looking forward to meeting you. Seattle is nice. You're going to like it there."

"I don't want to move."

"I'm afraid that's inevitable, son," he says, squeezing my hand. "You can't stay here in Chicago all by yourself. You're going to live with me and Esme…oh, and your brother, of course."

xxxx

It's like looking into a mirror; a strange miracle mirror that has a life of its own. My brother grins at me and runs his fingers casually through his coppery hair that looks exactly like mine. It's a bit less tousled than my own because he has put some gel in it.

Carlisle has tried to explain everything to me. How he and Mom had been fighting over his decision to return to England, and how neither of them wanted to give full custody of both of us to the other. The court finally decided to give me to Mom and Anthony to Dad. How do judges come up with these kind of bullshit decisions?

"Hi, I'm Anthony. It's nice to meet you…brother." He clears his throat and tells me how sorry he is about Mom's death. He's sorry for me, not him. I realize he feels about our mother pretty much the same way I feel about dad. There is some inner distance both of us have developed towards the parent who didn't raise us.

I remember the strange dreams I used to have as a little boy. Me, sitting in front of a mirror, touching my face through the glass over and over again, talking to my mirror image. There never was a mirror. The little boy in the mirror was my twin.

My mouth is dry, and I'm grateful for the glass of lemonade my stepmother hands me. She's pretty; a dainty red-head with a kind dimple-showing smile.

"You must be tired from the flight. Are you hungry? We can eat in a few minutes and then you can lie down a bit."

"Yes, that would be good," I tell her. I'm determined not to like Dad's new wife. It seems like betraying Mom and I can't do that.

"Anthony, why don't you show your brother the guest room while I finish cooking?"

"Sure, Mom," he says, and I cringe a bit at the word Mom. There is no way I'm ever going to call her that. But for him it's different. She and Carlisle have been married for almost nine years now.

The guestroom smells like fresh paint, even with the window open.

"I hope you like green," Anthony says, lifting one of my suitcases on to the bed. "Mom thinks green has a positive effect on people's mood or some esoteric crap like that."

"Green is okay," I say, opening the suitcase to start unpacking. I didn't bring much more than clothes here. I'm going to miss my piano. Maybe I should ask Dad to have it shipped here.

"It's weird having a brother," Anthony states. "Especially one that looks like my clone."

My lips twitch. I don't want to smile, but it's difficult not to smile back when he grins at me like that.

"Dad told me, I'm older than you. That makes you the clone and me the original version."

He tugs on his hair and sits down next to me on the bed. "I can help you to unpack. Wow, that's a great shirt. Can I borrow it some time?" he asks, holding up a blue button-down shirt. The color blue looks good on me. Mom always said it brings out the green in my eyes. The eyes my twin and I inherited from her. God, Mom, I miss you so much.

"Can I have it?"

"What? Oh the shirt. Yes, why not. I think I have two of them."

An idea forms in my head, and when we walk down the stairs ten minutes later, both of us are dressed in jeans and the light blue shirt. My hair is combed back like his with the help of a big amount of hair gel.

"Anthony, can you…?" Esme asks, stopping midsentence. "Wow, that's shocking. Who is who of you?"

Both of us grin. The left side of my mouth rises up in exactly the same way his right one mimics the movement. This is fun.

We sit down at the table, and I learn my new twin brother is a vegan. They mostly eat tofu and vegetables around here. I don't mind veggies, but tofu tastes like cardboard to me. Still, I nibble politely on a small piece Esme puts on my plate.

"I've already registered you for school, Edward," Dad informs me. "Your school uniform is not ready yet, but I'm sure you can wear one of Anthony's."

"School uniform?"

"You'll be attending a private school together with your brother. St. Volterra is an excellent place."

A private school? Damn, Dad is a rich fucker. I don't understand why Mom never accepted any money he was willing to give to her.

xxxx

In the morning, we eat some breakfast consisting of cereal with soy milk. It tastes awful. Hopefully the food in the school cafeteria is better.

"We'll be riding to school with my friend Jazz," Anthony says, putting the empty bowls into the dishwasher. "He should be here any minute, if he didn't sleep in again, that is."

A loud honk from outside lets us know his friend isn't late this morning. We walk outside, and I feel heat spreading in my face when I see the tall, lean figure leaning against the hood of his Mustang.

"You're here on time. I need to mark it in my calendar," Anthony says. "Jasper, this is Edward."

"Wow, he really looks like you, just without all the hair gel," the honey-blond guy states, pulling the back door of the car open. "I told you it looks better when it's all natural."

"Tanya likes the way I'm wearing my hair."

"Tanya thinks tofu tastes better than bacon. I wouldn't give too much on her opinion."

"You're just jealous."

"Of Tanya? Dream on, Cullen."

My heart skips a beat when he holds out his hand to shake mine. "Hi, I'm Jasper. It's nice to meet Anthony's twin."

"Hi," I whisper, my throat suddenly so dry I can barely manage to bring out a verbal response. He's about a head taller than me. and I can clearly see the muscles of his biceps stretching underneath the crisp white shirt of the school uniform.

Stop checking him out right now.

During the ride to school, I'm very quiet. I've always known that I tended more towards my own sex. Still, it makes me feel uncomfortable that it's my brother's friend of all people who catches my interest.

"Welcome to hell," Jasper says when he kills the engine in the school parking lot. "This school sucks badly."

I shrug my shoulders and follow him and Anthony to the main entrance, where a strawberry-haired girl surrounded by a wave of vanilla perfume jumps into Anthony's arms.

"Honey, I missed you."

They kiss, and I look away when his tongue glides between her pink-tinted lips. Girls do nothing for me. They really don't.

"Just ignore them. I do," Jasper says. "What's your first class?"

I pull out the sheet of paper Dad handed me last night. "Biology One."

"Great, we can go there together. Cullen, the nerd, is in the advanced course."

Someone slaps me hard against my shoulder and I turn around.

"I want my money back, Cullen."

"Piss off, Emmett. You should be glad I gave you my permission to date my sister," Jasper says, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

The guy grins. His eyes move over to my brother, who is still busy dry-humping his girlfriend.

"Oh-,"

I laugh the first real laugh after the horrible news two weeks ago. "Hi, I'm Edward."

"Good to meet you. Wow, you two really look alike. This is going to be fun."

The school bell rings and I wave my hand at Anthony and Tanya, who have eventually managed to let go of each other. I walk after Jasper through the entire building until we reach the class room. He has a nice butt, too. Crap, stop staring at it or you'll get hard. You can't get hard at school, damn it.

"Anthony," the teacher says, looking up from his desk. "I didn't know you decided switching courses."

"I'm not Anthony. My name is Edward Masen." I hand him the note my stepmother gave me this morning.

"Remarkable. We're going to have some trouble keeping you and your brother apart. Now, take a seat. There is only one left in the last row, next to Mr. Hale."

He turns to Jasper and hisses between his teeth. "Don't think I don't know why you choose to sit there. Remember, my eyes are everywhere."

We sit down, and I move my chair as far away from his as possible. Sitting so close to him gives me an even better view of his divine physic. I can see the muscles under his skin flexing when he pulls up the sleeves of his shirt. There's a big scar running from his wrist up to his elbow.

"Do you like school?" Jasper whispers, leaning over to me. His breath is hot against my ear. The heat it causes inside me is almost unbearable.

"Most of the time," I answer, "but Biology is not my favorite subject."

The teacher clears his throat and announces that today's going to be a lecture on safe sex. He lets a box with half-rotten bananas pass through the class. Followed by another one filled with condoms in colorful foil wrappings.

"I hold. You roll." Jasper suggests, wrapping his hand around the banana.

I nod and take the condom. My hands are sweating, and I can't manage to get the package open. So, I lift it to my mouth to rip the foil with my teeth.

"Jeez, not with your teeth, man. You'll get a hole in it and then you'll be changing diapers a few months later. Here," he says, taking the condom package from me. "See, that's how it opens. Not that different, right?"

My face is red. I can feel it getting even redder when he presses the banana between my hands. "Just hold it. I'll handle the rest."

Fascinated I watch how he pinches the tip of the condom between two fingers. Then he rolls it down over the banana, and I can't stop myself from picturing him doing the same thing on my cock. The little sucker seems to like the thought, because he stirs inside my pants, making them uncomfortably tight.

"There we go," Jasper says. His voice is a bit raspier now than minutes ago. I shift in my seat and grab my jacket to hold it over my crotch. This is embarrassing.

"Did you have a girlfriend back in Chicago?" he asks, running his fingertips up the condom covered fruit.

"No."

"Does that mean you're still a virgin?"

"Mind your own business." I snarl, my already reddened face turning crimson. I press my hands against my semi-hard cock in a painful attempt to get it down.

Jasper chuckles deeply, and unfortunately that attracts the teacher's attention.

"Hale, I'm warning you. We don't offer endless chances here at St. Volterra. If your mother wasn't on the school board…,"

"Yeah, I got it, Mr. Aro. No reason to burst a vein. We're just finished with your banana project."

"Fine, then you should open your textbooks to page twenty-eight and start with the questions on the article there. No more noise from you, Hale, or you'll be spending your afternoon in detention again."

The rest of the school day flies by. I only see my twin during lunch break. He has a salad, while I eat a hotdog with some burned onions on top of it.

"You should stop eating meat, Edward." Tanya says, while her acrylic nails move over my brother's knee. "Animals have a soul, too."

"I'm not even sure if you have a soul, Tanya." Jasper tells her, taking a bite from his own hotdog. A bit of ketchup trickles down his chin and I want to bend forward to lick it off his skin.

"I feel much better since I stopped eating meat. You should try it, too. Mom is great at cooking vegetarian meals."

"She's not our mother!" I call out, dropping my hotdog on the tray. "Our mother is dead."

I grab my tray and put it away. Then I rush outside, managing it to make it behind the school building before I break down and cry.

A few minutes later, I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up.

"Shit, I'm sorry," Anthony mumbles. "I tend to forget how hard all of this must be for you. What was Mom like? I always wanted to know."

"Hasn't Dad told you about her?"

"Yes, but not much. I found a picture from their wedding day. She was pretty. We look a bit like her."

"We do," I state, wiping my eyes. "She was thick-headed. We fought a lot. Both of us had some temper issues when we were angry."

"Then she's pretty different from Dad. I've never heard him raise his voice. He's so calm and controlled all the time. I guess that's necessary when you're a doctor."

"I don't want to be here."

"I know. I heard you crying last night. Look, if I can do something for you, let me know. I want you to like living here with us."

xxxx

Time moves on like it always does. After the first few days, I actually warm up to my twin brother. He confesses that he secretly hates the whole 'vegan nonsense' as he calls it and is just going with it to impress Tanya.

"How long have the two of you been dating?" I ask him while I flip through the TV channels, unable to find anything interesting enough to watch.

"Eight months. Isn't that amazing? She'll want us to do it soon. I have a feeling."

"You're not…um, doing it yet?"

"I'm a lucky guy and my girl knows how to make me happy, but no…we haven't gone all the way yet."

He smirks and lifts hi can of grape juice to his mouth. "What about you? Have any of the girls at school caught your attention? I think Mallory and Stanley have it pretty thick for you."

"They're not my type."

"Mallory is a slut. I wouldn't want to put my dick near her if she were the last woman on earth. As for Jessica…she's nice, if you don't mind her non-stop babbling."

"I don't think she and I would make a good match."

"You're too picky. Isn't there anyone you like?"

I blush and look down at my untied shoelaces. Yes, there is someone, but I don't feel comfortable telling him about my interest in his best friend. Anthony wouldn't understand, and I'm a hundred percent sure Jasper is not gay. He can't be gay, right?

"You're blushing. Dirty thoughts, ay? Tell me who she is and I'll help you get in to her pants."

"I don't want in anyone's pants."

"Don't be shy now. I'm your twin. Your happiness is my happiness."

"Fine, there is someone but we can't…I can't…well, it's complicated."

"Let me guess. She's taken? That really sucks," he says, patting my shoulder.

I nod my head and turn my attention back to the TV while he pulls out his cell and types a message.

"Do you want to go to party with me tonight? Jasper's mom is in Austin for the weekend and he and Rosie want to make use of this rare opportunity."

"Jasper? The party is at his place?"

"Something wrong with that?"

"No, no, of course not," I say quickly. "Will there be a lot of people?"

"Just a few friends, it's going to be fun. We could dress up in matching clothes and try to find out how many people we can fool."

When we arrive at Jasper's place two hours later, Anthony has washed out the gel from his hair. Instead, it is untamed, falling into his forehead just like mine. We're dressed in black shirts and jeans. I park the car and turn off the engine.

"You drive like a maniac. We're lucky no one pulled us over."

"Sorry about that."

"It's okay. I don't mind," he says, stepping out of the car. Rosie opens the door for us and grins. "Look, it's the terrible Cullen twins." Then she yells over her shoulder, "Tanya! Your boyfriend is here."

Tanya shows up, holding a bottle of Diet Coke in her hand. When she walks towards me and raises her hand to my neck, Anthony laughs.

"Do you like my brother better than me?"

"Anthony! Stop with this matching clothes stuff. What happened to your hair? It's all messy."

"I helped him style it without using a ton of hair gel."

"Well, it looks okay," Tanya states, while running her fingers through the dark copper on my brother's head.

They disappear in a room on the right side of the hall, and close the door behind them with a loud bang.

"Do you want something to drink?" Rosalie asks me. "We have beer, too—If Emmett and the others haven't killed all of it yet."

She gives me a brief tour through the house. There is a picture of their father hanging on the wall in the kitchen. He looks like an older version of Jasper, with short-cropped hair and a military uniform.

"I miss him," she tells me. "But it gets better with time. Losing a parent is hard. I'm sorry about your mother."

She pats my shoulder and holds up a bowl of popcorn. "Want some? It's caramel flavored. Jasper likes it."

I take a handful. It's sweet, maybe a bit too sweet for my taste.

"Where is Jasper?"

"In his room, skyping with our brother Peter. He's at West Point."

There is pride in her voice when she mentions her older brother. I eat the rest of the popcorn and take a bottle of beer from her. I take a sip, and it tastes bitter.

"That's not your first one, is it?"

I lie and shake my head no. One beer isn't going to make me drunk, right?

"Make yourself at home. Anthony hangs out here all the time. I have to search for my boyfriend now. He's probably still playing on the stupid X-box. Why do guys spend so much time with crap like that?"

She walks off, her heels making clicking noises with every step she takes.

I gulp down the beer and a slight dizziness spreads through my head. I'm not drunk yet, am I? Slowly, I stand up and stumble a bit on my search for a bathroom. There, I rinse my mouth and splash some water in my face. It helps, and I feel a bit better.

On my way out, I bump into Jasper. He looks tense, like something has pissed him off.

"Enjoying the party, Edward?"

"How do you know it's me and not my brother?"

"I've known Anthony for too long. He'd know better than to use my mother's bathroom. Didn't all the pink in there give you eye-cancer?"

"I didn't pay much attention to it."

"Do you want to see my room?" he asks, leaning forward so that I'm trapped between the wall and his arm.

"Why not?" I mumble, swallowing dryly. God, his presence makes me horribly nervous.

He smirks and raises his other hand to my mouth, dropping it a split second before his fingertips touch my lips.

"Have you been drinking?"

"Just one beer,"

"Your eyes look glassy. Alcohol is bad for you. You should stick to soda for the rest of the night. I don't want you to end up puking your guts out."

I nod and stumble again when I follow him to his room. It's small and crowded. His bed looks like he hasn't made it in days. Jasper tells me to sit down on it, and my palm glides over the crumpled sheets.

"You're different from your brother. That's weird because you're twins."

"Are your siblings and you alike?"

"That's different. Rosie is a girl. Our mother loved to dress us up in matching clothing when we were little. Everyone used to pinch our cheeks, commenting on how cute we looked. Both of us hated that."

He hands me a bottle of water from a desk in the corner of his room.

"Drink up."

The water is cold and refreshing. I let my eyes wander through his room, stopping at a picture of Jasper with another boy. It looks like someone has ripped off the left side of it.

"Is that your brother?"

"Yes, that's Peter," he says, sitting so close to me, that his left thigh touches against my right one. "He's in West Point."

"Impressive."

"It is. Dad was there too and our grandfather before that. He said it was the best time of his life."

"What about you?" I ask, taking another thirsty sip from my water.

"What about me?" he asks back, the muscles in his jaw tightening a bit.

"Are you planning on following your brother?"

"No way," Jasper says in a bitter voice. "They wouldn't take me anyway with my crappy grades."

"You'll never know unless you try."

"I don't want to try. Can we stop talking about it?"

"Sure," I say, finishing the rest of the water with a big gulp. The dizziness is gone now. Unfortunately, this makes it easier for me to concentrate on the beating of my heart. Being alone with Jasper makes me all tingly and there isn't anything I can do about that.

"You haven't dated anyone since you moved here. Is there a reason?"

"No, there's not."

"Too bad," he states, playing with the leather cuff around his wrist. It's covering a bit of a scar and I wonder how he got it. "I thought that maybe you're...," he says in a slightly husky voice. I stare into his eyes. They're a mixture of grey and blue, like the sky right before a storm. My hand reaches up, cupping his freshly shaved jaw. A moment later, his mouth is on mine and I'm in heaven. His lips are so incredibly warm and soft. I sigh, and his tongue glides smoothly inside my mouth to massage the tip of mine. Both of us jump apart when the door is pulled open abruptly.

"Jazz, have you seen my— oh, there you are." I was looking for you. We need to leave. It's late and I don't want to push my curfew again." Anthony says, running his hand through his hair.

Jasper's face stays a calm mask when he tells us goodbye. It seems so easy for him to act as if nothing has happened between us.

My heartbeat still hasn't returned to its usual tempo when we reach the end of the stairs.

"Maybe you should be driving. I had some beer."

"You're lucky, my woman hates alcohol. She says it brings out the worst in people."

He's chatty during our way back to his house. I still can't think of it as my home. Home was back in Chicago with Mom.

"Can you borrow me fifty bucks?"

"For what?"

"A hotel room. Tanya wants our first time to be special."

And renting a hotel room makes it more special? Women are weird.

"Why not?" I tell him, fumbling out my wallet. My fingertip strokes over Mom's picture. God, I miss her so much.

Anthony hugs me when I hand him the money, and tells me the big event is supposed to take place next month after prom. I don't care about the dance at all. Maybe I should just stay home that night.

"Why are you working for free in the hospital instead of getting a part-time job that will actually get you money?" I ask my twin.

"The good colleges like seeing this kind of social commitment. If I want to make it to Med School, that's inevitable."

"You want to be a doctor like Dad?"

He nods and steps on the brakes a bit too abruptly.

"Why are you stopping?"

"There was a squirrel."

A squirrel? He's risking an accident for some stupid rodent. Tanya has brain-washed him into a tree-hugger. Maybe love turns people into fools.

All night long I replay the kiss with Jasper in my head. I sweat and shiver at the same time. My dick hardens at the memory of his moist tongue against mine.

I thought maybe you're…

Maybe I'm what? Gay? Well, my erection tells me I'm at least gay for Jasper. And him? Well, he's the one who started the kiss. That ought to mean something, doesn't it?

My hand moves down my abdomen, playing lazily with the trail of fine hairs under my navel. I close my eyes and imagine my hand is Jasper's when I close it around the head of my cock. Again and again my fist glides up and down until I coat myself in the sticky essence of my release a couple of minutes later.

xxxx

The next day at school, Jasper is quiet. He sits next to me in Biology and stares down at the blank page of paper in front of him instead of taking notes. When Mr. Aro calls on him, he makes a snippy comment. The result is him ending up in detention for the afternoon. Jasper's mouth twitches, but he tries to act as if he doesn't care about it at all. That's often so with him. For some reason, he doesn't care one tiny bit about school. It's not like he's stupid, just lazy somehow.

"Are you mad because of the kiss?" I whisper, leaning over to his side of our table.

"No, I'm not," he whispers back and smiles at me. "Are you?"

"It was nice."

"Nice has a little brother named crappy."

"Mr. Hale! I told you to stay silent. What is there to talk about now with Mr. Masen?"

"I just asked him a question about the test we're having on Wednesday," I say, my face turning a bit red, like always when I'm telling a lie.

"Try to concentrate a bit better. It is bad enough Jasper thinks school is a waste of his precious time."

The bell rings and Jasper stands up from his desk, stuffing his books into his backpack.

"I'm going to ditch the rest of the day. Are you coming with me?"

I hesitate. Dad will probably be pissed at me if he finds out about that. But I want to be with Jasper so badly that I nod my head and follow him outside to his car.

"You'll get detention for ditching," he warns me, opening the passenger's door.

"Maybe," I mumble. "Or I could just tell them I got sick."

"They'd probably believe you because you're one of the good kids."

He pulls the grey pullover of our school uniform over his head and rolls the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows. Then he turns on the radio and starts the engine. We don't drive far. Just to the empty parking lot of a nearby park.

"So, the kiss was nice for you," Jasper says, turning to me. "How nice?"

"You mean like from a scale from one to ten?"

"No, not like that." He leans over and I hold my breath when his long fingers caress my cheekbone. This time his kiss feels different. It's more primal. His tongue forces its way inside my mouth. I fist my hands into the mess of honey-blond curls on his head and pull him closer. Eventually, he's on top of me and I can feel his excitement pressing hard against the inside of my right thigh. When he pulls back, I don't want to let go. I kiss him again. My tongue glides over his smooth upper lip. He tastes sweet.

"We need to stop. I don't want to do something you're going to regret afterwards."

Regret? Why would I regret anything?

Jasper sighs. He pulls down the window and leans back in his seat. "You're like me. I knew it."

"Yes," I whisper. "I think I'm like you."

He takes my hand and circles his thumb over the pad of my hand. "Does your brother know?"

"Does he know about you?"

"Anthony is my best friend. Of course he knows I like guys. We tell each other everything. Well, almost everything."

"Almost?"

"I haven't told him about my interest in you."

"Why?"

"Because you're his brother, that's why. If you and I get involved, things are going to get complicated."

I lift his hand to my lips and press them against his warm skin, savoring the salty taste before my tongue glides gently over the edge of his scar. How did he get that?

"How did you get the scar on your arm?"

He frowns and pulls his hand from my grasp, quickly pulling down the sleeve of his shirt. "Just don't look. I know it's ugly."

"That's not answering my question."

"I fell into some broken glass. Hurt like a bitch, but I've had worse. Can we talk about something else now?"

"Sure, we can talk about whatever you want. We don't have to talk at all, if you'd like that better."

For the rest of the afternoon, we stay in his car. I can't get enough of his lips on mine or my tongue thrusting into the moist heat of his mouth. Jasper is a good kisser, and it's obvious he's way more experienced than me. He rubs his thumb over my erection through my pants and I whimper when he pulls down the zipper.

"I want you," he states, breaking the contact of our lips. "And it's difficult for me to hold back when you make noises like that."

"Then don't," I whisper, guiding his hand to my pulsing erection. The moment he wraps his fingers around my shaft and lowers his mouth to kiss the tip is my undoing. He's not actually going to blow me now, is he? Fuck, he is.

I can feel my eyes rolling back in my head and hear some whore-like noise escaping my mouth when the tip of his tongue rolls smoothly from the head of my cock down to the base. I barely dare to watch as he puts first the tip, and then inch by inch of my length into the tight heat of his gorgeous mouth. How deep can he go without choking?

My question is answered when my cock hits the back of his throat. For a moment he coughs and I try to pull back. "Don't move," he instructs, "Let me try this again."

This time he doesn't choke. I can feel his hot breath against my stomach. When I come, he swallows loudly and releases my still semi-hard dick with a popping sound.

"I never had so much fun while I was ditching."

"Same here," I croak. God, damn it, Masen, that sounded completely stupid. You've never missed one single day of school before. And you sure as hell have never had someone blow your cock before. He licks his lips, and my eyes move to the prominent bulge in this pants.

He groans and looks to the clock above his audio-system. "Shit, how can it be after eight now? I should probably get you home before they alarm the cops or some shit."

"Shouldn't I...like take care of you first?"

"Edward, it doesn't work like that."

With that, he leans over and presses his lips against mine. I try to ignore the fact that he had my come in his mouth just moments ago when his tongue thrusts against the tip of mine. I feel selfish for not pleasuring him, but he assures me that everything is perfectly fine the way it is.

When we're in front of my house, he lets the engine run while he leans over to kiss my cheek.

"See you tomorrow, darlin'."

I step out of the car, and when I fumble for my keys, the door is pulled open.

"There you are!" Esme calls. "Your father and I have been so worried.

You don't have to worry about me, I think. But when I see the concerned look on her heart-shaped face, I don't dare say anything. Instead, I start mumbling some lame apology about suddenly feeling sick.

"Jasper that good soul was the only person who could take care of you?" Dad says suspiciously, when we sit down in the living room.

"It was my idea to ditch."

"You don't have to defend the Hale boy. I know what Jasper is like. He's a bad influence and I've been telling that to your brother for years now."

"The boy has a good heart. He's just going through some rebel phase." Esme tries to defend Jasper. In that moment, I want to hug her.

Dad takes a sip from his tea cup and clears his throat. "You can't ditch school. Your education is important. Your mother would agree with me on that."

That he's bringing up Mom now is below the belt. It's a mean attempt to give me a bad conscious and damn it – it's working.

"It won't happen again."

"Good. Just keep in mind that Jasper in not exactly the best influence."

I nod and go to my room, throwing my bag into a corner. My pullover smells a bit of Jasper when I pull it over my head. I like his scent. I want to drown in it and absorb its citrusy muskiness.

There is a knock on the door before Esme steps inside, placing a tray with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a glass of milk next to me on the bed.

"Just thought you'd be hungry," she says. "We had some tofu lasagna for dinner, but I'm getting the impression you don't really like vegetarian food."

"We never ate tofu back home," I tell her. "Maybe I just need to get used to it."

She nods her head and leans against the doorframe. "You're just like Carlisle. You never say when you don't like something."

"Why doesn't he like Jasper?"

"That's not true. Carlisle is just worried about the influence the boy is having on Anthony…or on you."

"You don't seem to share his opinion."

"I know what he was like as a kid. His mother Maria and I are in the same country club. He was such a dear child and his grades were even better than Anthony's. Anthony is doing well at school because he's working hard. Jasper is just smart without doing anything for it. It's a shame the boy is wasting his talent."

"Why do you think he's doing that?"

"I don't know. Sometimes kids just go through difficult phases while they're growing up."

"I like him, and I promise not to let him talk me into ditching again."

"It's good you're making some friends here," she states. Then she leans forward to flatten the sheets on my bed. Taking a closer look at me, suddenly a light chuckle leaves her mouth. "A hickey? I didn't know you were dating someone."

I shrug my shoulders and grab the history book lying on my nightstand. Esme is getting a bit too observant. I don't need her to take over Mom's role.

"I need to finish some homework." I tell her, forcing my lips into a half-sided grin that will hopefully pass as a smile. "Thanks for the sandwiches."

She walks out, closing the door behind me. I eat the sandwich and try for a couple of minutes to actually concentrate on doing some school work. Then my cell starts vibrating in my backpack.

"Are you grounded, pretty boy?" Jasper greets me on the other line.

"Are you?"

"For the rest of my life, as usual."

"You sound like you don't care about that at all."

"Jeez, pretty boy, you sound like my mother. That's not sexy."

There is a deep chuckle in his voice when he says the last words. My insides tingle at the sound of his breathing through the phone.

"You gave me a hickey."

"I know."

"Are you crazy? Everyone is going to see it at school."

"Wear a scarf or put some of this cover-up shit on it...my sister uses that all the time."

"Do you think I'm wearing make-up like a girl? Nobody wears scarves in summer."

"That's what you think, pretty boy. Hey, do you want to go out with me Friday night? Anthony has a date with Tanya anyway."

"Aren't you grounded?"

"Hale Manor is not fucking Alcatraz. I'll sneak out of my window, no problem."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"Don't you want to be alone with me again?" he asks, and I can hear him clicking his tongue. "I thought you liked our little…adventure in the car."

"Yes, but… I don't want you to get into trouble because of me."

"Unnecessary. Stop worrying. I'll see you tomorrow at school. Now go to bed and get some rest, Edward. You're going to need it."