Chapter Two

A/N: Thank you to those who reviewed and favorited this story, I originally built this ship to take one voyage but good advice from my beta laid claim to another ride. A special thank you to Mrs. Malfoy for the advice and generosity in volunteering your time, I do really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater.

It had all ended in one swift blow, delivered by my own weapon. Their eyes had caught as the sharp blade cut through his delicate mid section, Crona's large magenta eyes unblinking and still.

The eyes had been my undoing, unable to look away until the bitter end... the moment when only a small soul remained. The moon was silent, not a word was uttered as I sank to the ground in front of what was left of my friend.

Turning on my side I pushed my knees closer to myself trying to cover the weak point in my chest. Sorting out all the wayward thoughts running through my mind, could anything have been different? Can any one person really change anything in this world, or was it all for the gods to decide?

Soul had congratulated me later along with the rest of my team, they had called it a victory.

Was it a victory against the Keishan or a travesty against a child driven to madness by his own mother? Soul had asked why it couldn't be both, I had glared at him slamming my door and remained in my room the rest of the night.

Kill or be killed, that was Soul, so simple.

I wasn't able to grasp that particularly simple thought process though, Crona had been important to me. I had held his hand, laughed, shared, comforted him, and now I could add run a blade through his torso effectively snuffing out his short terrible life.

"Maka?" Soul's voice rang out softly behind my door, he had been worried for days. Making my favorite foods, cleaning, and taking on both of their responsibilities.

I just couldn't summon appreciation for the white haired death scythe, he was knocking again trying to get my attention.

"Oi, Maka you awake? I made some dinner..." Opening my mouth I paused then shut it again, talking to him now would mean explaining my behavior. He hadn't gotten it before and nothing had changed in the last few days. I heard him shuffle away with sigh, holding myself tighter another tear escaped the silent moon mocking me with it's grin.

Opening my eyes the first thing I noticed was how bright it was, I must have fallen asleep. Stretching my aching muscles out I combed my hand through my messy hair looking for a clock.

10'o clock, the bright red numbers glowed against the black screen. At least I had kept my regular hours, but that meant I had slept fifteen hours yesterday. my stomach growled almost as if in tune with the realization. Slipping into an old shirt and some tattered jeans I made my way out of my room in search of something to put in my protesting stomach.

After I was good and satisfied I caught a glance at the kitchen clock, 10:30 A.M. The numbers glared back at me taunting with their promise of a slow day.

Soul wouldn't wait another day he would demand answers, his patience had a limit. The sun was out peeking in through the living room window and on a whim I decided to go on a walk, Soul could wait until later. Maybe by the time I got home things would be a little easier, chuckling at how ridiculous that sounded I walked out the door.

It had been two hours already and my feet were beginning to hurt, I wasn't even sure where I had been but reluctant to go home I pressed on.

The trees surrounded me, my tennis shoes occasionally breaking a fallen twig or ruffling a few piled leaves, the birds chirping happily around me...it was a peaceful place. The tension in my shoulders began to loosen, something about this area was relaxing me.

It was a haze but I felt like I wanted something, like this trip had a purpose.

That's when I heard it, the obnoxious sound of one of my oldest friends mumbling to himself a few yards away. He was laying there looking like he owned the forest, glistening in sweat and shirtless. If only I could be strong like him, jealousy and annoyance were usually the dominate emotions when faced with the high and mighty Black Star... but today was different.

"You realize you're mumbling to yourself, right?" my voice was strange to my own ears, hollow... it sounded hollow and dead. Logic told me this blue haired, loud boy was the last person I should be around but... something deep inside told me I had been drawn to this very person.

He looked a bit put off for a moment but it quickly changed to a smile or greeting as he motioned for me to sit down, I sat down heavily with a sigh, miscalculating how close I really was. My shoulder grazed his own, the skin of our forearms touching, I couldn't find any real desire to scoot away.

Subconsciously I think I may have needed the contact, I didn't want to recognize it but that didn't mean it wasn't there waiting for me to acknowledge it.

My mind began to wonder away from dark thoughts, to the enigma beside me. Who knew all it took was the great Black Star to get my mind off the horrors of life?

How long had it been since I had voluntarily touched Black Star? I remember punching him a life time ago but that didn't count, did we ever hug? We were close as children, I remember that. When had we started to distance ourselves?

"Even god listens to the problems of others, just spill it and you will feel better." Black Star gave me his signature wink and pompous smile but the tone was off, he seemed worried. I must have looked pretty bad for someone as dense as he could be to notice.

Crona's face flashed back to the forefront of my mind. It seemed like nothing could keep the image of his once-kind eyes away. The sob caught me unexpectedly, the numbness that had built up in my bedroom was washing away. I feared I may never stop crying if I let go, but my barriers were growing weary.

I felt his arm move around me, the warmth of his touch like a salve to my pain. It was strange, but I knew this was the place that everything would get better...right here in my childhood hero's arms. Although he was a nuisance, I still idolized him; when something went wrong I looked to him above anyone to make it right...to save me.

"You're always rescuing me." The battle, I thought it would be my last and the words had poured out of me, the gratitude I felt for him...I hadn't wanted to die without telling him. Funny, I hadn't spoken to Soul, Kid, Tsubaki, or any of the others on the battle field.

His eyes were on me prompting me to let go, and that's what I did.

"I couldn't help him Black Star, instead...I killed him. I ended his life, and I can't DEAL WITH IT! I see him when I'm awake, when I'm asleep, I can't escape his face. The look... the look he gave me when I delivered the final blow." Everything was coming out now, all the thoughts I had been bottling up.

"I... I can't talk about this to Soul, he just doesn't get it, or refuses to. He just tells me that Crona was gone and I had to kill him or be killed, I understand that. I'M NOT AN IDIOT! That doesn't stop the images, the pain, or the dreams...Logic is fucking wonderful when you don't have any goddamn emotions!" I was yelling now, it was too much...speaking these thoughts was draining me.

They were so heavy on my soul, it felt like I was sinking.

"It's just pathetic...I'm just pathetic, even after making Soul a death scythe and becoming apart of some elite group for the Shibusen. I don't feel any stronger than I did when I joined the Death Academy." The truth had finally came pouring out of my mouth.

I was weak.

If I had just been more like Black Star or Kidd then maybe none of this would have happened. I relied on everyone because I was a child amongst adults struggling to fit in and be something I just wasn't. My chest was hurting worse that it ever had, I felt exposed. I curled into myself wanting to disappear.
He removed his arm and I couldn't help the whimper that left my throat. Was he as disgusted with me as I was?

Then I was moving. He picked me up like I was nothing and sat me in his lap. It was strange and perfect, my arms wrapping around him as the tears flowed freely. He was my life line. How could I have forgotten?

So many times had he brought me back from the pain of my parents...the fights, my father's wondering eye.

My body led me home, the pain was already lessening as he wrapped his strength around me. His arms felt solid and warm, my soul recognized his own as I began to feel for the first time in days that everything might be okay.

"Stop it Maka, stop doubting yourself, you idiot. You are strong, not as strong as me but closer than most. No one else could have ended Crona. Maka. Don't you see that it had to be you?" His words drew my attention, I felt his voice with my entire body, the deep hum comforting me. Clearing away some of my tears, I caught his eye showing him I was listening.

"He cared about you, it even showed through the insanity...why do you think he spoke to you the entire fight? It might have all been crazy shit but Maka, somewhere deep inside he wanted you to be there...to stop him." The words held a bitter sweet edge, to think Crona had been aware hurt badly but in another way it was fitting. Had he wanted me to stop him as Black Star said?

I began to realize I had been mourning my friend for longer than this fight. He had already been dead long before I had sliced through him in my mind. Looking at Black Star I nodded still feeling sad but no longer alone.

Black Star understood and I was once again thankful to him, but this time I wouldn't wait until being faced with death to tell him.

"I..Thanks Black Star." It was short but I tried to show him through my face, giving him one of the first real smiles I had in awhile. The look he gave me was soft and unlike himself, but I took it and hid it away inside my heart.

It was mine. This Black Star; the one with his arms around me and the small almost secret smile gracing his usually loud mouth.

"I am pretty great, huh?!" Rolling my eyes I couldn't help but smile even wider as we fell onto the grass in a mess of limbs and laughter.

He was exactly what I had needed, and as long as a small piece of him belonged to me...I would always be okay.

A/N: Thanks for reading!