A/N: I'm so glad y'all liked the last chapter. So here's another one. :P Sorry for the delay, I have been really busy lately and I had no internet again. So I got Tumblr ... ... ... yeah, so ... you can find me at waitingforyouinneverland. :P I recommend you go and re-read the first part of chapter 9, cause I'm going to reference it and that might help jog your memories, so you know what I'm talking about in this chapter. Sorry again for the wait. I haven't even read over the whole thing in my attempt to update quickly, so be warned, there are probably many, many errors. I'll go over it tomorrow hopefully and fix them though. :P ~ Auream Lucem

This was a good plan. It was definitely a lot better than all his previous ones. Killian walked out into the crisp air, his pack resting comfortably between his shoulder blades. He breathed in the scent of the forest. It was snowing lightly and he already felt the icy flakes getting caught in his hair. Everything was coated in a thick white sheet of coldness. The blizzard had done quite a job.

Adorned in his leather overcoat, Killian made his way across the snow covered ground, to what he guessed was the road. It was surprisingly hard to tell. The ground was heavily laden with snow, but there was a point where the land dipped; which Killian figured, was where the garden of the cabin met the road. He supposed it helped that he partly remembered its whereabouts, from when he had first found the cabin. Killian's heart tightened in his chest, at the other details of that day. Emma had been in so much pain... He shook his head dispelling the memory.

Instead Killian remembered back to their first day in the house. When she had finally woken up after breaking her leg. He remembered her bickering about her missing shirt. He smiled at that part of the memory. But then she had gone and asked 'why did you find me?'. It had filled him with self hatred. He had had no real answer to give. What could he have said, because I love you? He didn't deserve to say those words, and she deserved someone much better than him saying them to her. She hadn't listened to his brush off answer though, stubborn lass that she was, she had pressed on. The memory came back to him clearly as though it had happened days ago. Well it had, he realised, but it felt like a long time had passed since then.

... ... ...

"Even with my broken leg? I thought I was just a big inconvenience to you?" Emma said and Killian instantly knew to what she was referring to. When he had insinuated that she was nothing but dead weight, that he only tolerated her presence, because it would be dishonourable to abandon her. He stared at her, the words he wanted to say bubbling up inside him.

'Maybe what I feel isn't that simple. Maybe I love you and only want what's best for you and I know that's not me. I love you enough that I wouldn't be selfish enough to let you be with me, even if a little bit of you wanted to. You deserve so much better. You deserve someone whole. So I thought I would be able to push you away, make you hate me. But it's so hard, too hard. It kills me to hurt you. I get lost and found, at the same time, when you are around. I can't think, all I think is you. I lost control and kissed you, a small part of me is sorry, but the rest isn't. I can't think of anything I'd rather do. Every moment of everyday, I want to kiss you, to be with you, to just stand next to you and be a part of your life. I need you more than anything I've ever needed in my existence and I don't know why. Being with you I feel like I can truly be myself and that's someone I haven't known for a long time. I feel terrible though, I can't use you to feel whole, I'm just dragging you down. I'm a parasite on your perfection. And it kills me more to do that to you. I just want you to be happy and I know you will never be truly happy with me. No one wants just me, no one deserves to end up with me. I'm worthless and, you Emma, you are everything. I'm so sorry if I hurt you, but it had to be done. And now it has to be done again and I pray I'm strong enough to save you from myself. I'm so sorry...'

Killian wanted to say this, but he couldn't. She didn't need to hear that, it would be better for her if she never knew how he felt. Because as much as he knew she could never feel the same way, it would still hurt to know. So he internally sighed; clenching his hand into a fist at his side, fighting the urge to reach out and touch her, to tell her how much she meant to him and instead he said.

"What I think doesn't matter love. Right now you're my best option. So let's just focus on getting home." Killian couldn't face her anymore, so he started to walk out of the room.

"Home?" He couldn't help but flinch at that. Bloody hell. He tried not to trip up, but being around her made it so hard. Plus, it didn't help that she was so damn perceptive.

"Home..." He wasn't sure how to answer, but suddenly something came to him. He smiled darkly, this would help her see the worst in him. "Home is where my revenge is."

... ... ...

Killian often thought back on what he had wanted to say, and many time again, he had nearly told it to her. He sighed and started walking up the road. He pulled the map out of his pocket and studied it, yet his thoughts kept returning to the memory.

It had been the truth, in part, his last line. He had never been one to call a place home, no place he had ever been had seemed befitting of the title. But Emma caused him to use such a term, because being with her, being near her, gave him the feeling of home. When he was by her side, he had this distinct feeling like that was where he was meant to be, like that where he was made to be. A feeling that sang to him of forever and made him false promises of happiness and a life without revenge. But they were false. There was no Emma and him, there never would be. There was only him, his revenge and the end. But when he had told her that last line, he had meant it. Home was where his revenge was, but it wasn't his fault that she happened to live in the same place.

That had been his previous strategy, tell her carefully thought out half truths. He had tried to make her hate him with these. But that had not worked, he got too distracted around her and ended up speaking his mind rather than what he planned to say. Trying to make her hate him had been slowly killing him as well, so now he had developed a new plan.

One thing he knew that was true about him, that at times he could be positively singled minded. So his new plan, was to focus on getting back to Storybrooke. Make that the priority of his thoughts. Then he could achieve one of two things. He could convince Emma that he indeed, only wanted to get back to Storybrooke for his revenge. That that was all that he cared about, he would fool her into thinking this by showing his driven determination to get there. As well as the second thing, getting Emma back to her son, back to her life free from him. His real motivation behind his actions. Her son needed her and as much as he needed her too, she didn't need him. Right now he could tell himself that that would be enough to force himself to leave her, when they finally got home. He would leave her, for her, and she would never know, never care to know. His plan was sound. He would seem focused on getting back to Storybrooke and Emma would be none the wiser to his true feelings. Once she was safe and back where she was supposed to be, he would avenge Milah and finally find peace.

Suddenly a thought popped into his head. Was the Crocodile still even in Storybrooke? In truth he hadn't thought much on the subject of his location. When they had been sent to Canada had he been sent with them? If he had been sent with them, he wouldn't have been too far away from them. So if he had been sent here wouldn't he have found them already? He hadn't, so that caused Killian to become more convinced that he hadn't been sent with them. The Dark One possessed magic, if he had been sent here than he had probably used his magic to help him return to Storybrooke.

But then something else didn't add up. When he had last seen him, he had been at the town line with Emma. He had looked like he had been leaving. But where to? He would have to ask Emma when he got back. Or he supposed he could just wait in Storybrooke for him to return. That seemed like a better option. His plan could collapse on itself if she thought he didn't have a reason to go back to Storybrooke. If he found out the Crocodile was somewhere else, she would assume he would go there and stop wanting to help her. He couldn't let that happen, so he decided against asking. The Crocodile would certainly return to Storybrooke eventually. One of the things he had found out about him over the years was the value he placed in his possessions. His shop contained many of those. His Belle included on the list of things, that would cause him to return there.

Killian had seen them talking on the road before he had shot her. They had been so happy, so in love, it had been sickening as well as rage fuelling. Why did he deserve happiness? Why did he get to move on? Why did that horrible man get a chance at happiness and all he got was the haunting memory of Milah. Had been some of the thoughts floating in his mind before he had shot her.

Killian thought of Emma. He supposed he had gotten to move on. He still loved Milah and he would still avenge her, but he was no longer in love with her. He hadn't been for a long time. Now when he closed his eyes, all he saw was his beautiful Swan's smiling face.

Killian quickened his pace, as though if he walked faster he could outpace his thoughts. What happened to not thinking about her? Killian sighed and redirected his thoughts appropriately, towards locating a road sign. This plan would work, he was sure of it. Because if it didn't, he would be all out of options. Killian brushed away his doubts. He could manage this, it was simple. Get Emma back to her son. He already had the complication of being in love with her, when she shouldn't and didn't love him back. He was quite sure that nothing would be able to surpass that. There couldn't be anything that would make it any harder than it already was. He could do this. For her, he could do anything.

Henry smiled to himself as he, Grace, and Greg walked down to the Marina. School had just finished and they were wasting no time. They had decided that today they would go to search for the Captain Hook, or at least for anything useful upon his ship. If Hook was part of his mother's disappearance, they might find some clues on his ship. Though deep down, Henry's gut told him it was more likely Gold's fault.

Greg had actually wanted to go to Gold's shop today, instead of the pirate ship, but Grace had convinced him to change his mind, by giving him a puppy dog look. Henry couldn't blame her. He couldn't believe he was about to go on a real pirate ship! Henry didn't know much about the Captain himself though, his story wasn't in Henry's book. But he did know that pirates could be dangerous, so he had taken his wooden sword with him, as a precaution.

Henry thought back to the previous night. Dinner with Grace and Greg had been fun. It was still weird around Regina and Cora, but Henry was slowly getting used to their strange personalities. Greg and Regina had seemed to get along well, which was good. Greg's plan of befriending her seemed to be working. Henry was happy, everything seemed to be going their way as of late, but he was hesitant to speak his thoughts out loud, in case he jinxed it.

The sky was quite dark for the time of day. Big angry grey clouds were slowly moving to cover the sun. There was a coming storm, it was forecasted to hit tomorrow. But at the speed the wind was going, Henry wouldn't be surprised if the impending onslaught of rain started tonight.

They were now walking down the pier, passing by many small boats. They all looked old and unused, Henry wondered who they belonged to. Though his thoughts were however interrupted by Greg as he asked,

"I don't see any ships. Are you sure it's here?" Greg was looking around the pier sceptically.

"Yes, its invisible, didn't I tell you that?" Henry recalled mentioned it, but then again, he could have just been talking to Grace.

"No." Greg answered surprised. Apparently it had just been Grace then.

"Oh, well it is. Archie told me about it." Henry said proudly. His friend hadn't been too willing to talk details of his experience on the pirate ship, so Henry hadn't pushed him. At the time he had just come back from the dead, and Henry had been too busy hugging him and being happy to press for further information. Though now, looking around the empty pier, he kind of wished he had. Henry's eyes scanned the pier for anything out of the ordinary, but he couldn't find anything.

"Hey, look over there!" Grace exclaimed pointing excitedly. Henry looked to the direction she was pointing, and tipped his head back to see.

"It's a bird." Greg observed. He was right, because sure enough perched on thin air was a bird and not far away from that a few others were circling. This must be the ship, Henry thought.

"We found it." He said smiling. Grace grinned and grabbed his hand, tugging him towards the invisible ship.

"Hurry up Greg." She shouted over her shoulder, at Greg who had frozen in place. Henry looked at him, the man had the strangest expression on his face, Henry couldn't quite place the emotion behind it. But it was soon wiped from his features as a smile overtook it.

"Coming Grace." He said hurrying to match the quick stride she was setting. Henry turned back to look where Grace was pulling him. Luckily he turned around just in time to step over a hole in the pier, that would have caused him to fall over. But then Grace suddenly stopped and Henry nearly walked right into her. He looked around her to see what had caused her to stop, it was part of the gangplank. They turned to look at each other, grinning in equal fervour. Wasting no time, they both hopped up onto it and walked through the invisible barrier, Greg following closely behind.

When all three made it upon the deck, they looked around in awe. But for Henry it was that plus something else, it was recognition. This was the exact ship from his dream. When he had dreamed of Captain Hook and Cora getting hit with a falling house. So another thing he had dreamed right. It was strange and Henry wondered if magic had anything to do with his eerily accurate dream. But then again, magic was almost always the answer whenever something strange happen, so Henry found that he wouldn't be very surprised if it was.

After the initial gawking at the great vessel was over, the search began. Henry started to scour the deck with Grace, and Greg started on below deck. When Henry and Grace had looked over everything above deck and found nothing, Henry decided to go and see how Greg was doing. Grace however was determined to be certain there was nothing there. So she said she'd quickly double check, and then join him.

Henry treaded down the worn wooden steps to bellow deck. It was eerily quiet and Henry wondered where Greg was. But after he went into the main area, where all the cots where, he saw another door on the far side. It was slightly ornate and Henry guessed that it must be the Captain's quarters. The door was slightly open and Henry suddenly heard some shuffling and opening of draws emanating from it. That must be Greg, he thought, as he headed over there. Henry pushed the door open with some force. Apparently more than he had intended because it swung around and hit the wall with a thump. Greg stood in the middle of the room and he jumped at the slamming door. When he saw that it was Henry his posture relaxed and he exhaled a sigh.

"Jeez Henry, you scared me."

"Sorry. Did you find anything yet?" Henry asked hopefully. He really wanted to find something on Hook. The fact that he had been forgotten too, meant that he was very much connected to whatever happened to Emma and Henry had a feeling that something on his ship might show them how. Or at least that was what he was hoping. They had had incredible luck so far with Operation Dragonfly and Henry just prayed that it continued.

"No, you?" Greg replied.

"No." Henry answered sombrely and frowned, maybe their luckwouldn't continue after all. Greg noticed his frown and gave him an encouraging half smile.

"We'll find something." He said determinedly, like he could will it to be true. His resolute tone made Henry regain some of his confidence.

"We will?" He asked, hope starting to flood back into him.

"Yes. Now help me search this cabin. I'm sure there will be something useful in here." Henry followed the order diligently and turned to the nearby wooden desk. He started to rifle through the various papers decorating its surface. They looked mainly like maps, but Henry couldn't make any sense of them. It was then that he noticed a waste basket. It looked to contain many discarded scrunched up balls of paper. Henry figured it might be worth looking through. He dumped its contents on top of the desk and started to sort through it.

The majority of it was illegible. Pieces of writing started but then crossed out in ink. There was a couple of drawing of knots and other parts of a ship, each crumpled up. Henry had to fold them out gently to see. There were quite good drawings, Henry was surprised, he didn't know pirates could draw. Other than a few smudges of ink they were in excellent shape. Henry especially liked one, of what looked like the beginnings of drawing the ship. The sails had been done and part of the deck, but there were a few drops of ink on part of one of the sails and a random line across the page from the unfinished deck, seeming to have been drawn in frustration. Henry folded this one and pocketed it.

After going through another couple of illegible pieces of crossed out writing. Henry found something very interesting. He had un-scrunched a ball of paper, expecting it to be another useless piece, instead it wasn't. At first glance he had thought it had been blank, but then he had noticed two words in the top corner of the page.

'Dear Emma,'

After that there was nothing expect for a few ink spots as though he had held the pen, well he supposed, quill over the page spending too long trying to decide what to write, causing the ink to drip.

"Greg." Henry said. There must have been something in his tone, because Greg rushed over to him very quickly.

"Yes. Did you- oh." He said obviously seeing the paper over Henry's shoulder. "What does that mean?"

"What does what mean?" Graces voice came from the door of the cabin. Henry turned to face her.

"Here." He said passing the paper to her. Grace's eyebrows screwed up in confusion as she examined his find.

"Captain Hook wrote a letter to your mom?" She asked confused, looking up at both of them.

"Well he apparently started to. Did they know each other, Henry?" Greg questioned.

"Yeah, she met him when she was stuck in the Enchanted Forest. She didn't say much about him though. Just that he was a pirate and a lot different to the Hook we know of in this world." Henry answered scratching his head. He looked at Greg, who just looked as puzzled as Henry felt.

"I wonder what he was going to write." Grace stated ponderingly and Henry couldn't help but wonder too.

"Well, keep it. It's more proof, even though it is written from a man that the town also doesn't remember, I think we'll have to make use of anything we find." Greg said logically and Henry nodded. He reached out for it and Grace handed it back to him. Henry then proceeded to fold it up and place it next to the ship drawing in his pocket.

The search continued, but Henry didn't come across anything more, that could be useful. The Pirate had surprisingly few possessions. All Henry found was a couple of chests of treasure, maps, drawings and the Pirate Captain's clothes. When he came across the treasure he was tempted to keep some of it, but then instantly thought better of it. Stealing was stupid, but if there was something stupider, it would have to be stealing from a pirate.

Henry walked out from the Captain's cabin, to the main area of the below deck, where Greg and Grace were. Grace saw him immediately.

"Found anything?" She asked brightly. Grace's amount of cheerfulness and her constant faith that they would find something and fix everything, never ceased to amaze Henry. It made him glad of her presence, when Grace was around everything seemed a little easier.

"Nope." Henry answered, "You?"

"No," She sighed, "I think the letter was all there really was. But it's okay, we still have to check Gold's shop and I'm sure there will be lots of useful things there." Grace said with a smile. Henry smiled back.

"Do you think we should call it a day?" Henry asked, directing his question at Greg as well as Grace.

"I think so. Sorry Henry, I'm sure Grace is right. We'll have better luck tomorrow at Gold's shop." Henry studied Greg. He was grateful for the reassurances, but there was a strange look in Greg's eye. Not unlike the one he had seen before they had gone on the ship. But Henry was tired and probably seeing things, it was likely nothing.

"Okay." He replied and started to walk up the stairs to the top of the ship. Greg and Grace followed him up.

Emma's head was spinning. She felt like she was blindfolded and strapped to one of those spinning carnival rides. Everything was dark and she too distracted by the spinning to really think about anything. But there was a loud bang, the sound of cursing and then another less loud bang. The noise disrupted Emma's spinning and slowly the world of consciousness rose up to meet her. She tried to open her eyes but they felt glued shut. Emma felt horribly disorientated. She wasn't to sit up, but she wasn't quite sure which way up was. Suddenly her brain registered that the bang had been the sound of the door being thrown open. Door, house, cabin, couch...

"Bloody wind." The same voice that had cursed said angrily. Emma eyes flew open, that voice, it was so familiar... But everything was still a jumble in her head. Emma decided to try and stand up. Apparently that was a bad idea. All her muscles ached and shook at her attempt and she fell back down. A jolt of pain shot through her as her body hit the floor, she let out an involuntarily gasp.

"Emma?" The voice questioned sounding worried. The sound of footsteps soon followed. Emma's eyes were screwed up in pain, but she opened then in time to see Killian take in the sight of her on the ground.

"Emma, are you all right?" He said sounding alarmed. Everything came back to her in a rush and she fought the urge to shut her eyes against the memories.

Instead Emma just stared at him. She loved him. No, don't think about that, she commanded herself. But she couldn't help it, and thinking about left her unable to form words, so she was just lying there staring at him. Which was awkward, because she was pretty sure that he was waiting for an answer to his question.

"Emma?!" His voice was raising to a panic at her lack of response. He got down on the floor next to her, reaching for her; to check or pulse or shake her, Emma wasn't sure. He had a wild glint to his eyes, a desperation that made what he was thinking or about to do hard to predict.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." She managed to get out. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, his shoulders slumped and he turned, in his sitting position, to lean against the side of the couch.

"God Emma, don't do that." He whispered on an exhale of breath. His head was tipped back and his eyes were closed. He was still breathing heavily and irregularly, but it was gradually slowing down to a normal rate. He was mere inches away from where she was lying down. Her foot was nearly touching him. He was too close. She slid herself into a sitting position, wincing slightly when her leg bumped the coffee table. As though he sensed her pain, Killian's eyes opened and he gave her a slightly sceptical look.

"You're fine?"

"Mostly." Emma admitted reluctantly. "I tried what you said, and tried to heal my leg using magic. But it's different using magic here than Storybrooke. It was damn near impossible at first. I managed to do it eventually, but I knocked myself out in the processes."

"Emma." Killian said with wide eyes. "If it was hard, you should have stopped. Magic is dangerous, you could have killed yourself." He declared angrily.

"But I didn't." Emma replied stubbornly. She wasn't really angry with him, more herself. The little voice saying that how upset he was, wasn't normal for someone who was supposedly just a ticket to his revenge. So Emma ignored the voice, because she was nowhere near ready, to think more on her revelation yet. She pushed it to the side of her mind and tried her hardest to focus on the conversation at hand. Admittedly, it would be easier if the feelings that she was trying not the think about, were not for the person she was currently talking to.

Killian was still looking at her angrily. But it dissolved as he let out a laugh and a long sigh.

"My, my, lass. You are a tough one. So stubborn." Killian shook his head smiling. His voice was laced with affection. Yep, definitely not helping with her 'ignoring certain thoughts' issue. Then he suddenly looked up at her from under his lashes, a slightly more devious smile in place. "Darling, you're staring." She was, so she quickly looked away. But realised too late, that she had basically just admitted that she had been. Her eyes flicked back to him and she saw his smile turn to a grin. She hung her head slightly, in shame.

"Sorry." She mumbled. But apparently she hadn't been quiet enough, because she practically felt the smirk on his face.

"Don't be sorry, most women-"

"-I'm not most women." But Emma cut him off, looking up at him.

"Too right, lass." He said, his blue eyes regarding her fondly. Emma was suddenly aware of how close they were. Somehow she was right next to him. She started to lean forward and then he started to lean in too. But then he stopped, he hesitated and pulled back. It was a fraction of an inch of movement, but Emma was so aware of him that she noticed. For her it didn't seem like an inch, it felt like a mile. Suddenly she was thinking about it. Everything she felt for him and all her doubts. All of her worries, her fears, and before she knew she had done it, her mouth was moving to form words.

"Tell me about Milah?" She blurted, and was greeted by his previously dancing blue eyes, darkening to almost black.

"What about her?" He replied instantly. His tone was clearly suggesting that he wanted to anything but talk on this. Emma didn't know what it was, maybe it was the fact that he hadn't outright closed off to the topic or her recent acknowledgment of her feelings, that made her push on. All Emma knew, was that she just had to know.

"What happened to her?" Emma asked gently.

"She's dead." He said as if that left no room for any more answers. Although it felt like pushing him more would be crossing a line, Emma did.

"How?" Her voice softer again. He looked at her bewildered, as though he couldn't believe she was asking him. He swallowed hard, a dark look swallowing up his features. His fist clenched and unclenched as rage began the seethe off him in waves. After a few silent seconds, he began to speak.

"She... I met her at a bar. She was alive, brilliant, a dreamer. She was enthralled by my tales and she shared hers. She was trapped in a marriage with a coward. She didn't love him and living her life the way she was, was killing her. Even I could see as much. Milah wasn't made to sit still, Milah was made for adventure." He voice had grown wistful and Emma's heart twisted painfully in her chest, at the longing look in his eyes. "We fell in love and she escaped with me. She had a son, but she was too in love with escaping from her misery, to stay with him. She reasoned that he still had his father, that he would be fine and that we could go back for him when he was old enough." Killian's voice lots its wistful edge and he practically spitted the next part. "The coward himself, came upon my ship on the day we were to leave. I didn't think much of him, he was pathetic. He begged to have his wife back, but he wouldn't fight for her. If he truly loved her he would have fought for her, he didn't deserve her. After that, started the happy years. The time when it was just me and Milah. The first time in my life when I had been truly happy, ever..."

Killian's face contorted in pain as the next part of his tale, probably played in his head. Emma wondered if he had ever let himself think about this. She thought it was highly likely he hadn't and Emma didn't blame him. She knew what it was like to have memories you just wanted to forget. The problem was when one bad memory ruined all your good memories. It was like that with Neal. They had had good times together, but when Emma thought back on them, all she could feel was the pain from his abandonment. Her and Neal hadn't really been together that long. Killian had spent years with Milah, that meant he had years of his life ruined. Emma reached out her hand and grabbed his, squeezing it reassuringly. He didn't even blink at the contact, but he did start speaking again.

"There was another bar. In fact, it might have been the same one from when I first met her. But that was the night I ran into him again. He had become the Dark One. But I didn't know at first I laughed and poked fun calling him a Crocodile. But when he lifted his hood and I recognised him I was scared to death. He asked about Milah and I did the only thing I could think of. I lied. I-I told him that she was dead. He believed me and told me that the this night would be my last, because tomorrow he would duel me, and kill me. He promised to gut my crew if I tried to escape. I told Milah. She wanted to leave, but I knew we couldn't. If we did it would be like killing my crew with my own sword. And he would always be looking for me and who was to say he wouldn't find out about Milah. She still wouldn't let me go, so I had to lie to her too. I promised that I wasn't going to die, she believed me too. But I had to, so I snuck out and faced him. I was ready to die. I would happily die to keep my crew and my Milah safe. It would be an honourable death. But it didn't quite work out that way. Whatever the Crocodile has his hands in never does." Killian paused, his original anger surfacing once more. "Milah obviously found that I was gone and I don't know how she did it but she found me, right as the Crocodile was going to rip out my heart. She tried to bargain for our lives with an offer she knew he couldn't refuse. He nearly accepted the deal right then and there. I could see how much he wanted to. I didn't know what he wanted with a magic bean, but at the time judging by the look in his eye, I thought we were in the clear. I thought we would be fine. He asked to see it. So we brought him to my ship. Milah showed it to him and then threw it to me. She asked whether they had a deal. It was that moment that I had the inkling of a feeling that something was wrong. He started yelling at her about her son and demanding to know how she could have left him. And then he had his hand in her chest. I tried to stop him but he used his damned magic to stop me. He pulled her heart out and crushed it, right in front of me. She was his wife, he killed his own wife in cold blood. He then cut off my hand in an attempt to get the bean. He was a monster and I knew he had to pay for his sins. I attacked him with this." Killian said raising his hook. "But it did no good. His magic protected him. I vowed my revenge and then he just laughed at me and disappeared in a bout of evil smoke." At this time Killian was shaking with rage. He tried to sigh, but it was staggered, apparently doing nothing to ease his emotional tension. He looked at her for the first time in his telling and continued.

"Everything has to end eventually, but our time was nowhere near over and the Crocodile took that from me. He took my love, my happiness and that is why I plan to take his life." Killian turned his gaze away from hers and stared at his hook. "That is why I have to kill him. I have to have my revenge for Milah."

Emma didn't know what to say. It felt like her heart was breaking. But she knew, she always knew he loved Milah. She had told herself time and time again that he loved Milah and only Milah. But she was stupid and had hoped that maybe he could move on. He obviously couldn't. His revenge was all that mattered to him. But she still loved him and now she was just sad. She was sad for him and how much pain he had to endure, how much pain he just had to relive, to tell her what she had known all along. Now she knew for sure that whatever fantasies she had entertained of them being together, were just that, fantasy. He had spent hundreds of years trying to avenge the women he loved. If that wasn't true love, she didn't know what was. And that meant, that he would never move on, he was stuck living in the past, there would be nothing else for him. His love was dead and soon he would be too. Because Emma finally understood why he wanted to die getting his revenge, because it really was his only reason for living. They would get back to Storybrooke and he would die. Emma suddenly felt conflicted. All she had wanted this whole time was to get back home to Henry. But now getting back meant Killian's death. He couldn't die, she-

"We're even now." Killian's voice interrupted her quickly spiralling thoughts.

"What?" She said finding him standing up. She stood up as well, her muscles protested slightly, but she managed to get to her feet.

"You told me about you're past, and now I've told you about mine. Even." Killian said with no hint of emotion in his words. He knew she remembered last night. But how? She hadn't told him, how did he know she remembered?

"How did you know?" Emma voiced her wondering.

"Open book." He said rolling her eyes like he had said it a million times. "Now I'm tired after spending a long day searching and coming up with nothing. So I'm going to get some rest, so I can do it again tomorrow. Although hopefully find out where we are, unlike today. So I can leave this damn place, and finally finish my revenge." Emma felt like she had been slapped in the face.

Killian just walked out of the room and up the stairs, apparently off to go to sleep. Emma sat down on the couch. Unmoving for a long while, until she silent sobs started to shake her body. She grabbed a nearby pillow and shoved her face into it to muffle the sound of her cries. She wasn't sure exactly why she was crying, but couldn't stop. Emma wept and wept, until there were no more tears. She fell back onto the couch, falling into a hollow dreamless sleep, almost instantly.

A/N 2: Geez, I was attempted to leave out the last scene, because it was just a pain to write. But I'm quite happy with how it turned out.

Good news, the back story chapter which I have had planned since forever, is going to be either the next chapter or the one after that.

I'm hoping for the next chapter, but we'll see.

So sorry again for the wait.

Also sorry for any errors, figured y'all would want it ASAP. :)

Review? ~ Auream Lucem