Chapter One

My Head and My Heart are Colliding

The day seemed to drag on for ever for young Loki. Classes all seemed to be jammed packed with length assignments that he thought would turn into homework if he didn't hurry. But now, he was leaning his head on the wooden counter top of the old book store. Of course no one was there, other wise he wouldn't be staring at his dull reflection coming from the shinny finish that rested on top of the wood. His legs were tired and he began to shift uncomfortably as he listened the dull ticking of the clock. Most of his days at the store seemed to be going this way now-a-days since new age books stores were popping up at every corner. He liked them himself since they always seemed to carry just what he was looking for, but at the same time, he carried a respect for the family owned book store. He had known the owners since he was young, often coming in with his mother since it wasn't too far from the university his father was in charge of, the same university he attended.

The bell above the entrance chimed and Loki's head shot up from the counter, his black hair resting back against his shoulder. His shoulders slumped lightly as he saw the blonde hair wander in from over the shelves. "Brother!" The male exclaimed, opening his arms wide. Loki simply sighed and leaned his elbows on the counter, it would be his brother. He had nothing against Thor coming in and seeing him while he was at work, it brightened up the usual stale mood.

The blonde was in his usual gym clothes, a red muscle shirt and baggy grey sweats. He had his gym bag slung over his shoulder and a towel in his hand. Loki only guessed that he was fresh from the gym which was only on the other side of the café which was nestled between the book store and the gym. They only seemed to see each other when Loki had work at the same time his brother was working at the gym.

"What do you need, Thor?" the black haired male said, staring with his pale green eyes.

"Come have coffee with me." His brother said leaning on the counter from the opposite end.

The sudden closeness made Loki slightly anxious and with out much thought, pushed away from the counter. He couldn't look into his brother's eyes with out his heart skipping a beat, pain following suit. The other was still oblivious to what was right in front of him. He chose to stuff it away in the back of his head and forget the truth; he chose to move on. Maybe he was the stronger one, but Loki was never one to forget.

Granted, they were only 14 years old when it happened. Their parents had gone out for dinner while Thor and Loki stayed home to watch one of their favorite TV shows. They had been sitting quietly until the show ended and the silence began to annoy Thor. He shot up and challenged Loki to a wrestling match. Loki knew he was no match for his older brother who was already much stronger than he, but he was bored also, so he decided to at least try. Thor was the hitting type while Loki was fast and agile so it was hard for the two brothers to actually collide with one another. But when they did, Loki found himself on his back and looking up at his older brother, the blond hair cascading down tickling his nose lightly. He tried to wiggle free but only found the triumphant laugh of Thor above him. "You never learn, do you brother?" Thor said as he continued to hold the other down. Loki rolled his eyes before staring at his brother closely. He had never noticed how good looking he was until he was up close, no wonder the girls at their prep school swooned over him on a daily basis. Maybe it was his blue eyes which shined like they were made from the hope diamond itself, or maybe it was the way his nose scrunched up and covered the light freckles that graced his cheeks. Then again, he always heard the girls saying how charming he was, which Loki never understood since he always saw him to be a brute.

But what caught Loki's emerald eyes were his brother's lips. They were like a pale pink rose barely beginning to blossom. They contrasted nicely with his skin the more Loki concentrated on them, they were nearly perfect.

"Loki?" Thor said interrupting his thoughts, "What's the matter?" Loki said nothing as his brother's grip loosened lightly so that he could lean up. The younger brother stayed silent and continued to stare heavily into the other's eyes, a strange sensation building up inside his chest. And with out a second thought, he placed a hand on the back of Thor's head, pulling him forward and onto his own lips. It felt magical and made Loki's body flush with heat, a happy feeling he had never felt his whole life.

But it all ended when Thor's hands came between them and shoved them apart. The sudden movement caught Loki off guard and fell back against the carpet, looking up to his brother once again. He had never seen his brother look so upset, so disgusted. He was wiping his lips off with the back of his hand and pacing in front his younger brother. "Why did you do that, Loki?!" He yelled as he looked down to catch the once innocent eyes turn into frightened, green orbs. He had never yelled at his younger brother so it was new to the both of them, but in his mind, Loki crossed the line.

"I-I-I just…" Loki muttered as he back up against the couch still trying to search for words. He looked down and tried focusing on the ground, as if it somehow had the answers. Thor got down on his knees and grabbed hold of Loki's shoulders and shook him harshly. It made the younger boy shake lightly at the blonde's sudden aggression, but he tried to hide it by looking down. But Thor curled his fingers under his chin and thrust his head up so their eyes could meet.

"Don't ever do that again!" He shouted before standing back up and taking a few steps back towards the hallway that lead to his room, "If you ever speak about this to anyone I'll kill you!"

Loki knew that Thor would never hurt him and that it was just a child's threat. But, they never spoke of it again. Even now that they are 24 years old, the memories have never left either of their lips. But the hurt still returned every time green eyes met blue. And even as Loki was deciding whether to join his brother or not for coffee, he couldn't shake the feeling of their lips meeting and the tingle it sent down his spine. But he knew Thor was catching on just from the way he was raising a blonde eyebrow. He rubbed his palms together and nodded simply "Fine. But I can't stay long since I'm still on the clock." The owners weren't there at the time so it's not like he could go ask for a break, but he knew they wouldn't mind. So he locked the front door and put up the sign "Be back in 15 minutes" before going next door with his brother.

"Have you heard from father lately?" Thor said once they had seated with their warm drinks. He only got a slight ding of the other's cup hitting the table. He looked over and saw a pale hand gripping the white cup and harsh eyes glaring at him. The topic of their father was a touchy one for Loki; they were always fighting about one thing or another. Which always left Thor in the middle, struggling to keep the balance between his family. Loki hated putting his Thor in that position but its how it always turned out.

Ignoring the question, Loki turned back to his tea sipping gently "How can you drink coffee? It's so bitter." His brother looked down at the dark liquid in his cup and shrugged in reply since he didn't know how to reply. The air was thick with tension, obviously emanating from the dark haired brother. And as if to add to the awkwardness, Thor's phone began ringing making Loki's eyes dart down to the other's pants pocket. The ringtone was familiar to his ears, it was her ringtone. He gave a frustrated sigh before taking another sip of his tea, "Is that Jane?" He said sharply as he set his cup down a little harder than he intended to. The woman was kind and Loki really had no reason to dislike her except for the fact that she was with his brother. She had a bright smile and a laugh that could make a rainy day seem full of sunshine. If they were alone, he thoroughly enjoyed her presence, but the second her and Thor were together, his heart melted.

Thor looked up from his phone and gave a gentle nod before answering with a smile. It made the younger man sick as he watched the blonde swoon over the call. He quickly chugged the rest of his drink before standing back up. "I have to go back. I'll talk to you later, brother." He didn't wait to hear the pleas to stay; he didn't have the heart for it at the moment.

He retreated back into book store and sat behind the counter, hugging his legs close to his chest. It felt like he had a sack of bricks weighing down on him. It was nothing new now that it was getting harder for him to ignore his feelings. But as he curled up into himself, he found it a little easier as long as he could pretend for a moment; pretend that his brother smiled the same way when he called.

This was written by me! Enjoy!

~LaLa