In this AU there is no Blaine and all the boys go to Dalton. Jeff and Kurt are roommates and Niff is established, Kurtbastian is not.

There was no way he was going to manage the test.

Books were spread over his desk along with empty coffee-mugs and candy paper. Looking at the clock on the wall he realized that he'd been studying for over an hour. An hour without really understanding anything. His test was in one week and he was so screwed. He hated math.

As he felt a tear prickle in his eye the door swung open, reveling three people he really wanted to avoid at the moment. Jeff walked in, hands clasped together, and observed the room carefully. Sebastian was right behind them with nothing but the usual snarky look on his face.

"You couldn't knock?, he asked sounding unnecessarily rude.

"It's not like you were doing anything unexpected. And why are your pants in such a twist, do I sense a minor PMS or is it because you finally came to terms with the fact that you suck at math?, he said with a sneaky-fucking smile on his face.

Kurt's usual reaction would have been to return with something like "at least I can admit that I'm bad at something in opposite of others who actually believe that they know anything about geography only to forget what the capital of Germany is". Or he'd thrown a book at him. But right now was one of these moments where he needed to calm himself down and just breath - and most importantly be alone. With the last bit of patience he had for Sebastian he walked up to his door, pointed, and firmly (and just a tini tiny bit shaky) shouted "OUT". No one moved. The couple simply sat down on his bed while Sebastian walked over to Kurt's desk. He didn't want to give him the joy of hearing him beg so he sighed and closed the door to his room.

Do not cry, do not under any circumstances cry in front of him, he thought and put on a fake smile.

"So how was the movie", he asked the blond warbler. He didn't really care though and that was unfortunately not something that seemed to go unseen by him. Jeff only watched him suspiciously and hummed in response.

"Okay then", Kurt murmured and went over to his desk to clean up the mess.

"You've done nothing - no wait one, nope that was wrong - nothing for 70 minutes, Sebastian asked. Kurt was pretty sure he would loose his temper with that boy any minute now.

"I did my french homework", he lied.

"We didn't get any", Jeff piped in.

"REALLY Jeff?", he sneered.

Jeff lifted his eye-brows and cocked his head to the side.

"You okay Kurt?", Nick wondered with a hint of worry in his eyes. Again he sighed.

"Just a bit tired", and he really tried to give him a genuine smile. Apparently it wasn't successful.

"Aaand what is the most common lie used by sad teenage girls?", Sebastian shot in.

That was unfortunately the last drop of his patience. He tugged Sebastian's arm roughly and pushed him across the floor.

"Get the fuck out Sebastian"

"Aoush don't-"

"No I won't hear it. You picked the wrong time to mess with me and I want you gone."

There must have been something odd about his tone that actually made Sebastian stop for a second, momentarily speechless. The green-eyed warbler wasn't mean per say - not to him - but he sure could be an annoying prick when he wanted to. He could usually sense the wrong time to irritate people he actually cared about - but obviously that sense had been lost to him this time.

Taking advantage of the silence Kurt quickly made his way to the bathroom. Hoping he'd catch on he threw a glance at Jeff saying - "please get rid of him" - before he closed the door behind him and sunk down to the floor. The bathroom tile was cold and probably really dirty but he couldn't care less.

The mature thing to do was to change into his pajamas and get himself cleaned up before walking out of the door and calmly asking Sebastian to leave. But being mature wasn't really an option after the day he'd had. With only four hours of sleep he had woken up on the wrong side directly. A snarky french teacher and a failed study-session later he just wanted to crawl under his blankets, or possibly shoot someone. In addition he had one of those weeks were the ghosts from his past just wouldn't live him alone. He didn't want anyone's sympathy or anything but sometimes he wished somebody would notice when he was hurting. He had been there for most of them when they needed him. Even though he knew that Sebastian and the others were just messing with him he really wanted them to get that he needed them now. Usually he didn't get affected by Seb's words but today they had hit him at the worst time possible. The math test was really starting to freak him out. He had studied for hours to the last exam and he'd only gotten a C+. So had Nick and they had spent the night with b & j and Disney as comfort. But this time it was was much harder and for the first time in his life he feared he would fail an exam. To make things worse he had to get sick over the weekend, preventing him from studying. Safe to say - this had been a crappy day. He felt a lump in his throat - he just wanted to sleep and weep alone or possibly with his blond roomy. A careful knock against the wooden door erupted his thoughts.

"Please let us in", came from Nick. He knew that statement held a deeper meaning. He hated showing anybody how weak he could be even though he knew they'd be supportive - even Sebastian. But he hadn't cried in front of anyone for years now and he really didn't want to do it now either. Without even trying to sound fine he said,

"I'm fine, could you please just go. I want to be alone".

Silence before a reply came from Nick,

"Ignore Sebastian. He's an oblivious jerk. Don't shut us out"

He didn't want to forgive Sebastian so he just closed his eyes ignoring the lump in his throat growing bigger. It took the other boys a few more seconds before they realized Jeff held the other key to the bathroom. The door creaked open but he didn't even open his eyes. Instead he hugged his knees and pulled his feet in towards him. If he would have looked up he would have seen the worry in his bestfriends' eyes. Sebastian was the one to kneel down in front of him first. The usual shiny green eyes were now filled with regret and the voice lost any kind of itch to it when he spoke.

"Look at me", he said. Kurt didn't move.

"Kurt, for god's sake just-. Please?", Sebastian begged. Hesitantly he raised his head and stared right into those stupidly beautiful eyes. And for the first time for as long as he could remember he let another person see when a tear prickled down his cheek. He didn't bother holding his walls up anymore. He didn't have any more power left to do it. He was sick of being the cliff, always giving so much only to fight his own battles alone.

"Please tell us what's really making you this upset", Nick said.

Nick had a scary way of seeing through people and this time wasn't an exception. Because the real reason why he was currently seated exposed on the bathroom floor wasn't because of some stupid math exam. It wasn't because he had slept badly or that Sebastian kept irritating him. That had only been the last drops.

Tears rolled down his cheeks making his vision blurry.

Stop lying to them

Stop lying to yourself

His roommate was suddenly beside him taking Kurt's hand in his. He stroked his palm soothingly. That simple act of comfort finally made him reach his breaking-point.

"I just miss her s-so m-much", he finally confessed through his tears.

"It was h- her birthday last week and I can't stop- I don't know what to-.", he sobbed.

Somehow they all understood who he was talking about. Sebastian reached for him and pulled him in tightly against his chest. Jeff held his hand and Nick murmured comforting words in his ears.

"It's okay not to be okay Kurt", Jeff assured.

violettopaz