Authors Note:
...Guess who is back? Back again...Jazzy's back...tell a friend...*cue cheesy grin* Hi guys! :)
So I know it's literally been two years but I'm back. Posted up one chapter of 'A hotter Touch' and two of "enough'' so I think that sort of counts as back. Now though it's time for my most reviewed fic that lead to me briefly being named the 'Queen of Kadam'
If you want to know what kept me away? I dont want to wear my hands out writing it when I could be writing out a chapter so please go read the authors notes of those two previously mentioned fics. Hopefully that will explain why and how difficult getting back into this has actually been for me. But I love it. And I need it. And I miss you all and would love to make some people happy so here I am!
This first chap back will be focused on Kurt & Santana telling Mike. I'm breaking my idea for this chapter into separate ones just for the sake of my hands.
Enjoy!

While they patiently waited for Mike to sign on, Kurt sipped at his coffee before leaning his head back on the couch momentarily closing his eyes before feet plopped down heavily into his lap just inches away from an extremely important part of his anatomy.

"Wake up porce we need to be on our A game for this"

"Fuck Tana I'm awake I was just resting my eyes...seriously do you know how many times I had sex from the time we left the club? I should probably be comatose right now." he groaned running a hand down his face shooting her a glare when she cackled at him and couldn't help but laugh when she merely grinned back unrepentant.

They where both snapped out of their banter when they heard the familiar jingle of a skype call ring through the speakers of the laptop and they both shifted their attention, taking twin deep breaths before Kurt leaned forward and clicked to answer.

"Hey Kurt nice bed head whats- oh hey Santana, how are you guys?"

"Good morning Asian Abs, no worries I made Porcelain put on a shirt before we decided to skype so you wouldn't have to worry about questioning your sexuality first thing in the morning" Santana replied with a grin when she saw Mike roll his eyes before he looked over at Kurt who he saw lean forward and brace his arms on his knees.

"Personally Mike I'm freaking fantastic, and under different circumstances I'd love to tell you all about it but that's not why we needed to talk to you. Normally this is something personal enough that I'd stay out of it, but I'm concerned and I think you need to be aware of the situation and am pretty sure that unless Tana and I tell you whats going on, you will never find out and not only do you need to know but you deserve to know...so even if I get hell for not keeping my mouth shut, this is necessary." Kurt replied

They watched Mike's smile slowly fall from his face as he studied the two of them through the screen before taking a deep breath and leaning further into the comfort of his seat.

"Okay, that sounds serious and slightly daunting...am I going to need alcohol for this?"

"Yes" "Yes" they both chimed simultaneously and watched Mike nod glancing between them expression becoming increasingly concerned before getting up and stepping out of the cameras view for a few seconds, hearing the clinking of glass before he moved back into position in front of the camera with a bottle of liquor and a glass pouring himself two fingers full before nodding at the camera.

"When was the last time you spoke to Tina?" Kurt started off and they watched a pained look cross Mike's face before he took a measured sip of his glass before answering.

"Last time I talked to Tina was when we broke up...she told me we where over, that the distance would just be way too hard and itd be easier for her if when I left I stayed gone"

"Ouch" Santana muttered and Kurt sighed.

"Of course she did...okay I'm going to just...tell you everything I know and it'll probably be easier to get out if you try and wait till I finish the story to react alright?"

"I'm a little scared now...is she okay?" Mike asked softly

"That's a complicated question twinkletoes...just listen while Porcelain explains ok?" Santana responded carefully

After his nod Kurt took a small sip of his coffee before setting it down on the table in front of him.

"Here goes. When you got accepted to head off to college Tina had a secret. She thought that if she told you that you would feel forced to stay or feel obligated to give up your dreams, and she loves you so naturally she never wanted that. She was scared, after talking to her I can see that she had been scared of all of it, whether scared that you'd resent her for it if you chose to stay or if you would only be staying because of it I'm not sure but I do know that she was scared and worried and stressed. The fact that none of us realized just how not okay she was will probably haunt me and there's a good chance she will hate me for this and never speak to me again for what I'm about to do, but she needs you and I dont think anyone but you is going to be able to get through to her anymore and help her..." Kurt took a deep breath, he'd avoided saying the words pregnant and miscarriage but knew he had to actually say the words or none of this would make sense. He felt like he was betraying Tina, but at the same time...he still loved her, regardless of everything since he and Blaine had split with her taking Blaine's side, he knew WHY now. Sure it made little sense how she'd rationalized picking a gay guy...Kurt could understand turning to the SAFEST option she could find, Kurt knew that when you were grieving it did things to your head...when you where heart broken it's easy to end up feeling lost...then to top it off her hormones were probably completely out of wack and then she was keeping all of it locked up inside? With no one to talk to, to support her? Even if she never wanted anything to do with him for this, he cared too much about her to watch her self destruct and just sit back and do nothing when he knew he could help. Breaking her confidence or not, Tina needed someone to help her if she wasn't willing or able to help herself. So that's what he would do.

" Mike what do you remember about the summer before you and Tina broke up?" He asked suddenly

"Well...I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could before we had to do the whole long distance thing...but she just kept saying she was sick and couldn't hang out, when she broke things off I realized she'd been trying to distance herself from me or maybe trying to figure out how to break it too me without hurting me...it didn't work but I wanted to respect her wishes" He said with a sigh shrugging blinking quickly a few times before Kurt and Santana watched him finish off his glass with a broken laugh and pouring more liquor sipping it slowly not meeting their eyes and that's when they realized he'd been hurting over this. Mike wasn't over Tina. Not even a little over her.

" She wasn't trying to distance herself Mike. At least not for the reason you think, in a way she was sick, just not the kind of sick I think you probably where assuming."

Mike was staring at him in confusion before his face seemed to drain and pale completely "Is she sick? Like really sick? "

"NO!" "NO!" they both shouted hurriedly and watched Mike run a hand over his face and sigh heavily in relief.

"Christ you scared me, OK so what then?"

"Morning sickness Mike. It was morning sickness" Kurt said carefully watching as Mike's mouth dropped open in shock and they saw his glass tumble to the floor, liquor and all as he blinked wide eyed gaze shifting back and forth between Kurt and Santana.

"I need you to say it Kurt, or I'm not going to believe it" he whispered voice shaking.

"She was pregnant. " Kurt replied nodding.

"Oh my god...oh my god ...why didn't she TELL me? wait...was? Did she...did she get an-"

"She had a miscarriage. Right when she'd decided to tell you and find out if it's something you even wanted. She hasn't told ANYONE. I only found out when I cornered her about how she's been acting, and the minute I brought up your name it just sort of came tumbling out of her until she was sobbing into my shirt...she's self destructing Mike. She's not okay. She's convinced herself that she's in love with Blaine because he's gay and SAFE and she blames herself for losing the baby, she told me she didn't think she could look into your eyes and admit she lost your baby...she thinks it was her fault and that she's broken. She was blowing you off because looking at you hurt and knowing you where leaving, that everyone who would have helped her through it was leaving sort of just broke her. I think she's got major post partum and is grieving not only over the baby but over losing you. Losing the baby or not all the hormones where there and she's not dealing with any of it, she's not talking to anyone...the only people there are Brittany and Artie... and while we all love Britt we know that she wouldn't be able to help Tina with something as deep or heavy as this, and Artie well...he's her ex boyfriend and not the best at talking about things let alone talking about feelings. She's turned her focus on Blaine to avoid her own pain and honestly I'm really scared for her. She said she never wanted you to know that something was wrong with her. I think part of her thinks if she ever told you that you'd blame her for losing it, or would think she was trying to guilt you into being with her. Which I don't think you would ever do, One thing I do know though it that she need you. " Kurt finished

Mike was just sitting there in stunned silence for a moment and before Kurt could try to say anything else they saw his eyes well up and tears start slipping down his cheeks as he leaned forward burying his head into his arms and grasping desperately into his hair before his face shot up and both Kurt and Santana where shaken by the wild devastated look in his eyes.

"I wouldn't have left! I never would have left her! I'd have done my first year of general ed at Lima Community and waited till we could leave together! I was already considering it, I'd nearly decided that's what I was going to do when she started to pull away from me but I swear I NEVER would have blamed her, I'd never have left her if I'd known what was really going on. I'd never have stayed away if I'd known she was suffering through this alone... I thought I was doing the right thing by respecting her wishes and leaving her alone...But I swear I would have stayed in Lima not out of guilt or obligation but because I fucking LOVE her and I never stopped...god we should have been together through this. We could have mourned together. Fuck how-I-..what do I do? What the hell do I do? Will she even talk to me?"

Kurt wished more than anything he could reach through the laptop and pull Mike into a hug. He looked like his entire world just ended.

"I can't tell you what she will do, or tell you what you should do because that's your decision. I can only give you my opinion and let you make your decision from there OK?" he said carefully and Mike nodded at him sniffling.

"Okay" Mike whispered.

"In my opinion? I think you need to hop on a Flight to Lima as soon as you are able to take the time off school and fight for her. Even if she tries to push you away which she probably will. Tell her you love her. Mourn for your loss together. Go to counseling even or at least get her to go. Don't give up on her and make sure she knows that she's not broken, and that you dont blame her and that you love still love her. Tell her you'd been thinking about staying in Lima to wait for her without ever knowing about the baby. Just be there and let her know that no matter what you want to be with her."

Mike was nodding the entire time he was talking and both of them could already see the wheels turning and plans being made in his head before he responded to them with a small grateful smile.

"Thank you Kurt...both of you ...just thank you. Thank you for telling me and not keeping this a secret, I know this probably wasn't easy to tell me and I'm so grateful to both of you that you care enough about the two of us you where willing to interfere and not listen to Tina. I...I think I need to go make some plans but I want you guys to know how much I appreciate this. No matter what anyone says you guys are the kindest most incredible friends anyone could ask for."

Both Kurt and Santana flushed "Don't mention it, you dont need to thank us. We just want you guys to be OK and be happy" Kurt replied

"...and if you ever tell anyone that we are secretly kind or nice I swear we will drop you in the ocean we are fierce, we've got a rep to protect" Santana finished with a smirk and gave a more genuine smile when Mike let out a bark of laughter.

"I promise I'll keep the fact you two both care a secret. I still say you are both the fiercest sweethearts I know. "

"Alright Mike off with you before you ruin our reputation any further" Kurt laughed.

"Bye guys...thanks again...oh and Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"Nice hickeys" Mike smirked with a wink before ending the call causing Kurt and Santana to burst into giggles leaning on each other and that's what Adam walked in on with rumpled hair in a pair of sweatpants.

"Ok what did I miss?" He asked staring at the two giggling on the sofa.

Santana took one look at him staring at his marked up chest before cheerfully chiming "Nice hickeys!" setting them both off again.

Authors note:
Hi there. Ok so I had originally planned to do a second part to this, but my hands are killing me and I'm about a minute away from crying soooo I'm stopping there. It was a page break point anyways. lol There's a chance I was a little over zealous writing this week. I dont regret it. Feels good to get back to it.

love & kisses
-Jazz