Warnings: Slash
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. This is for fun, not profit.
Summary: AU of Breaking Dawn. Edward and Jacob search for Bella. Along the way, they find themselves.
Notes: This will probably have two or three chapters.

"You saw Bella in danger and you want me to go looking for her?" I glanced at Alice, noting her immutable poise while I walked up to the windows to gaze down at the woods, my fingertips drumming a melody on the windowsill as I thought about it.

Bella had gone on a trip down the West Coast to find herself, as she so blithely put it. I still wanted a future with her but had resigned myself to letting her go.

We postponed the wedding and I waited for her day after day, until cold acceptance settled over me. I was torn between wishing she would return and hoping she might stay away and remain human, far from the threat my kind posed. If Bella lost herself in the mass of humanity, I knew she would be sure from the Volturi.

"This danger… it is not from the Volturi, I take it?" I cocked my eyebrow at Alice, who was leaning against the shelf which held my CD collection of rock from the Seventies.

"No, it's something else. You saw the image in my mind; Bella was walking down the street when someone pounced on her and then the vision ended. I couldn't see who it was," Alice said.

She made her way to the window and stood by my side, looking out at the woods while the scent of her expensive Ralph Lauren perfume wafted to my nose. I didn't know why she wore it among us, since its intended purpose was to help her blend among mortals. I shrugged, realizing I would never fully understand Alice's inscrutable ways.

The scent made me wonder if Bella would do the same thing if she was changed into one of us. The thought, which once would have thrilled me, now made me wish for the earthy smells that were beyond my reach.

"Edward, I know you miss Bella so much! This will give you the opportunity to find her so you can finally reach happiness." Alice grinned at me and then walked towards the couch. "I hope to have another vision to pinpoint her location. Won't you call me when you get to California? I will provide you with more specific information."

"I guess a trip to California is in order."

Nodding nonchalantly, Alice stuck her hands in the pockets of her chic leather coat.

I hid a smirk at how my sister's usually acute powers of observation failed in things concerning Bella. Alice looked as unruffled as ever, as if she truly was the pixie the mutt called her.

I grinned briefly, picturing Jacob poking fun at Alice. Bella had been gone for two weeks, and the situation between the two of us had calmed down. I could tell the mutt missed Bella more than I did.

After Alice left, I went to the closet and haphazardly grabbed some clothes. I didn't have to impress my fiancée with my suave style, so I could dress however I wanted.

Gazing at the shelves holding my CD collection, my fingers glided on the smooth wood until they reached the punk rock section. I picked three plastic cases with music that would be pleasing to hear on the road, though the thought of driving through the Pacific Coast made me cringe. The scenery was breathtaking but I would be alone. I knew well my tendency to brood over things outside my control, like Bella's behavior.

I frowned when I recalled our final conversation. Bella had repeated Jacob's words as if that would justify her abandoning me.

"Life sucks, and then you die," Bella said with a shrug. "Jacob told me this, and thinking about it made me realize I want to find myself. I hope my absence won't bother you, Edward. I need to recharge my spirits for the trials ahead of me."

I had barely refrained from quipping, "What about me, then?"

I shook my head to dispel the memory as I trotted downstairs with the leather bag snug on my back. Closing softly the door of the garage, I went to my Volvo and opened it absentmindedly, my mind filled with visions of Bella and Jacob.

I made ready to throw the bag inside when a cold hand touched my elbow.

"Wait, Edward!" Rosalie frowned at me. "Emmett just told me you're going to search for Bella."

"I have to, Rose."

"I wish you would forget about her. Bella wants to find herself, brother." Rosalie scrutinized my face and then she shrugged. "I might have nudged her a bit."

Staring at her, I clutched the bag to my chest. "You two had a heart to heart talk, but I don't know exactly what you told her."

She started to say, "We talked about…"

"I don't want to know, Rosalie." I held up my hand, shaking my head. "Even if Bella has changed her mind and does not want to be with me anymore, I will give her space so she can take whatever decisions she wants. I'm going to find her because I have to protect her."

Rosalie glared at me and then turned to walk away. "You men! You're just like the mutt!"

My curiosity was piqued at her mentioning Jacob because she wasn't exactly his number one fan, to put it politely. The two exchanged sharp barbs with alacrity, and yet they couldn't keep away from each other. It was funny seeing the way they were seemingly drawn to each other.

"What do you mean, Rose?"

"I went to the store to get my repair kit for the top of my car, and he was there. We didn't speak or anything, the guy just rushed out, seemed he was in a hurry."

"And?" I clutched the bag tighter, wishing she would finish telling her story.

"The owner is a good friend of mine." Rosalie raised her eyebrows at me. "She told me the mutt had bought a brake master cylinder for his car, like he's going to take a long trip."

"And what do I care?" I snarled, trying to hide my displeasure. Jacob hadn't mentioned that the last time we crossed paths near the Quileute border. It bothered me a great deal that the silly boy distrusted me despite our newfound truce!

"When Jacob went to his car, he met his friend with the funny name."

"Seth isn't a funny name," I shot back.

"No, the other one," Rosalie said, nudging my elbow.

"Embry?" I said. "Actually, I like the way his name sounds."

Rosalie rolled her eyes, her shoe tapping impatiently against the floor.

"Oh," I said finally. "The distrustful mutt was talking with Quil then."

Rosalie nodded. "The wolf said he was going to search for Bella because he was worried about her and had to protect her."

"So he's going to California?" I said slowly. It would pose complications for what had promised to be a boring trip.

"No, I don't remember very well their conversation." Rosalie puzzled her eyebrows. "I think Jacob is going north."

"It's getting late, Rose, and I want to start now," I snapped.

I had to admit I was angry at Jacob for not telling me his plans. If the silly wolf wanted to look for her in Canada, he was free to go. My fingers glided over the bulge of the cell phone in the pocket of my shirt. I wouldn't let him go too far. Jacob had mentioned how tight his budget was, so I'd call him in a few hours. Just enough time to let him drive a hundred miles or so; after all, I liked it when he glared at me.

"Edward, why don't you take my car?" Rosalie pointed at the gleaming red BMW convertible.

I shook my head and opened the door of my Volvo.

"Come on, Edward! I changed the tension spring of the convertible top. You could test it during this trip. It's the perfect opportunity!" Rosalie grinned briefly. "I can't do it right now because Emmett and I have other plans."

I glared at her and snapped the keys of the BMW from her outstretched hand, rushing towards the car before Rose would begin to extol Emmett's endurance in the sack.

It made me feel so frustrated.

oOoOo

I met the wolf ten miles from Forks. As I was downshifting on US 101, Jacob's concerned thoughts hit me like mountain fog in the dawn.

I honked repeatedly at him, noting there was another man in his car. Frowning at the easy familiarity between them, I finally gathered it was Paul from the set of his thoughts.

They stopped on the shoulder of the road and I parked behind the Rabbit, strolling towards the wolf's car.

"Oh, it's you," Jacob said nonchalantly, his elbow dangling out from the window.

"I bow to your extraordinary powers of observation, Black," I shot back, drumming my fingers against the red lacquer of the door below Jacob's arm.

"What do you want, man? We're busy."

"You're searching for her, aren't you?"

"How did you find out?" he blurted out, and then shrugged. "Your mind-reading thing, I guess. Nope, I'm driving Paul to Aberdeen. He's meeting a friend there. After I drop him off, I'll go to Port Angeles and start searching for Bella."

"If you think she's there, you're dead wrong." I snorted. "She's in California."

"Bella called you? Makes sense," he said bitterly and hit the wheel. "Didn't even know she had gone until you told me the night I met you near the Border. Hell, it'll be hard to go there in this car!"

"Alice saw her in a vision, wolf." Watching Jacob grimace in despair made me reach a fast decision. "Why don't you come with me? We'll search together."

"What? No way…"

I glared at him and leaned down until my chin almost touched his pert nose. "It makes sense, mutt. You'll save on gasoline and won't wear down your car. Besides, four eyes are better than two."

I refrained from mentioning that he would help me stave off loneliness.

"Jacob, make up your mind!" Paul said, extending his legs in the narrow floor space of the car. "You two argue back and forth like old ladies; I have to get there."

"Fine, man." He fixed me with an exasperated look. "It's practical, but what will I do with my car?"

"You go with the leech, Jake," Paul said. "I'll drive your car back to the Rez after I've done my business."

"Fine, Paul. Don't force the engine too much, though. The cylinders were giving me trouble."

oOoOo

My attention was fixed on the road and I drove in silence, but the peeks I stole at his mind betrayed his irritation. Jacob looked towards the woods as the wind ruffled his hair. It wasn't until halfway to Centralia that he deigned to speak.

"Why did she leave?" he said through clenched teeth.

"I don't know, Jacob," I snapped back, a bit defensively. "Told you the other night she just up and left. Rosalie tells me she spoke at length with Bella just before she announced, out of the blue, that she was going."

"I bet Blondie said something sarcastic that hurt her!" Jacob scrunched up his eyebrows. "Your sister is so mean."

I had to refrain from rolling my eyes. "Rosalie and you are always at each other's throats, mutt, and I don't see you running away."

"I'm tougher is all," Jacob crossed his arms behind his neck and rested his head on them. He leaned back on the seat and crossed his long legs, his top leg swinging in a hypnotic rhythm. "Gotta admit your sister is very sharp, though no match for me."

I gazed at the road ahead while I held up the button on the wheel to scan radio stations until I found a suitable one. Frankly, I didn't want to hear him extolling Rosalie's virtues. I loved my sister, but Jacob gushing about her annoyed me.

The stirring notes of Bruch's violin concerto came over the loudspeakers and I lost myself in the melody for a while, but Jacob annoyed me no end because the wolf appeared to be unmoved by the sweeping concerto.

'So boring, it fits Edward to a t.' Jacob's sarcastic thoughts kept buzzing around in my head like a fat, ugly fly.

Glaring at the highway, I said through clenched teeth. "There are CDs in my knapsack, mutt. If you find this music so irritating, find one that you like." I cocked my head towards the back seat. "It's next to yours."

"Fine, Edward, fine. Don't get mad, ok?" he said, holding up his hands in a peaceful gesture that came too late. "I've slept badly the last few days, you know. Had nightmares about Bella, which is what gave me the push to look for her."

Jacob flexed his muscled torso, the sinewy strength visible through his black t-shirt as he turned to grab the leather drawstring of the knapsack, pulling it towards himself. He rummaged inside, squinting at the CDs until he chose one.

I pressed the button on the wheel so the CD tray slid out, the wolf carefully placing the disc upon it.

The driving beat of the Ramones came on, and Jake's right foot started tapping to the rhythm. "Hey, I like this song!"

"Figured you would," I said with a smirk. "You know why? Because it's called 'Howling at the moon.'"

Jake shot me an infectious grin and patted my back. "Love it, Edward, and for that I will pretend I didn't hear your remark."

"Jacob, that's awfully wolfish of you." I scowled at him, but couldn't keep from smiling at the way his face lit up at my words.

Jake listened to the music for a while, his fingers beating on his knee as his leg bobbed up and down.

He patted my back. "This is a good song. It fits you, man."

"The line about sadness becoming fun, I bet."

The impudent wolf smirked. "Nope, it's when he sings about sparkling."

Scowling at the dashboard, I floored the gas and let up on the clutch. The BMW shot forward like an arrow, pushing the startled wolf against the seat.

"Hey, man. You make jokes but can't take one!" he sat up and laughed richly. "Though I must say I like your taste in music."

'Gotta admit Edward looks more relaxed and carefree without her. Nice music, too; though his clothes are too stuffy.'

I grinned wryly, shaking my head at the wolf. We kept bantering back and forth, which made the miles slip by unnoticed.

As we were passing through Longview, I made a detour and took a side road. Finally, I parked in front of a gas station and motioned to the door. "Go on, I know you want to go to the bathroom."

"Read my thoughts, huh?" He nudged my elbow. "Sneaky vamp."

"No, Jacob," I leered at him. "It's the way you keep pressing your thighs together."

"Oh!" Jacob dashed out of the car, and I smiled at the way his cheeks turned a deeper russet shade.

"Take that, sarcastic mutt!" I whispered in satisfaction.

I stepped out of the car to stretch my legs and glanced at the building. There was a man in the bathroom staring at Jake and thinking nasty stuff. I was of a mind to rush in and give him a piece of my mind. I didn't have the chance because Jacob stepped out of the rest room, taking long strides towards me.

"Hey." He gazed intently at my face. "What's with the scowl?"

"The man who went right after you?" I waved my arm towards the gas station. "He wanted to do dirty things to you."

"Oh, I see." He blushed again and walked towards the passenger door, patting my shoulder on the way. "You don't have to defend me. I'm perfectly able to do it myself; werewolf strength you know."

"Would you have consented to what he wanted?" I muttered, my fingers clenching around the handle of the door as I waited for his answer.

"Course not!" He lifted up his hands. "Let's talk about something else, ok?"

Jacob averted his eyes and threw a smokescreen of imagery behind which he hid something; it was puzzling me.

oOoOo

"Sir, how long will you stay?" The young hotel clerk looked up at me while he typed on the keyboard.

"Just for the night."

I smiled down at him in satisfaction at the way his pupils dilated; it would make it easier to get my way. Leaning my elbow on the counter, I struck a nonchalant pose and said, "I wonder if it would be too much of a problem to give us a two-bed room. Could you mention it's because you ran out of rooms with single beds?"

"I see." The young man licked his lips and frowned in obvious disappointment. "I'll do it, Mr. Cullen. Guess you want to spend the night with your girl."

At that moment Jacob walked inside, easily carrying both knapsacks under his bulging arms. He glanced around at the lobby. "Man, this hotel is cool!"

The clerk sniffed disdainfully as he angrily pushed the paper slip towards me.

I fished out my pen, bending down to sign. Meanwhile, from the corner of my eyes I saw Jake glaring at the impressionable young man.

"You got us two rooms, Edward? I'll pay you back."

"No, they ran out of them; I got us a double room." I pushed the slip towards the clerk, who gave me the plastic card.

Jacob and I made our way through the lobby and I noticed Jake glancing back, scowling at the clerk. He huffed, "That boy was ogling you!"

"Is that so?" I said smugly.

"He was eating you up with his eyes; kept licking his lips!" He pushed me towards the elevators, shielding me from prying eyes watching from the lobby. "Don't tell me you didn't notice! It was annoying."

Pointing to the restaurant, I shrugged. "If you say so, Jacob. I bet you're hungry; let's grab a bite first."

"Guess my stomach rumbling gave me away, huh?" he shot me a wide grin as he strode by my side towards the restaurant.

Jacob took it in stride when the waitress kept fawning over me, though, which gave me food for thought.

oOoOo

"I'm tired, man. Gonna call it a day and get to sleep." Jacob lazily stretched his arms.

I sat on the other bed, fiddling with the book I had retrieved from my knapsack.

"You're going to read that stuff?" He cocked his head at the book as he slipped the t-shirt off his broad chest. I nodded and turned my attention to the novel; but I couldn't help glancing back at the stunning sight of that sinewy muscle laid bare, his russet skin glimmering in the lamplight.

Jake sat on his bed and bent down to untie his sneakers. He took them off with a sigh, flexing his toes. I hastily glanced away when he hooked his fingers around the waistband of his jeans.

I should have known the gesture would not go unnoticed by the wolf. He snickered softly. "Modest, Edward? I can't allow myself that luxury, what with the pack and everything."

"Do they stare at you?" I looked up at him, recalling when he was hurt by the crazed newborn. In the anxiety of that dreadful moment, I couldn't appreciate the symmetry of the body so displayed. Jacob's pack mates took it in stride and paid him no mind, which was a pity because that beauty deserved to be appreciated.

"Nope, man." He shimmied his pants down, the denim sliding tantalizingly down his strong legs, and then he slipped his thumbs under the waistband of his blue briefs.

I let out a loud groan, burying my head on the book.

"Don't worry, Cullen. Gonna preserve your modesty," he said with a shrug as he slid his jeans off his feet and kicked them off onto the rug. He grabbed the comforter and threw it down to the floor. Jacob yawned, looking at me with a tired gaze before laying down on the bed. He covered his body with the sheet and rested his head on his arms.

I bit my lip, unsure if he was doing me a favor by preserving my modesty.

I went back to reading Henry Miller, but I kept sneaking glances at the soft fabric which hid Jacob's enticing body. If I closed my eyes, I could easily remember what he looked like beneath the sheets; facing me in anger, his chest heaving up and down as we fought over Bella, and writhing on the ground in pure agony as I grimaced in concern.

Most of all, I remembered Jacob holding Bella tightly in the tent, lending her his life-saving heat as he gazed at me with dark eyes which glinted hypnotically in the night. I wished desperately I could go back in time, so that magical night would turn out different.

If I had only known how fickle Bella was - always doing what she pleased - I would have done things differently.

With a shudder, I realized Bella had lain with Jacob, allowing herself to be warmed by his body. She had slept soundly, cradled in his arms, without even thinking about mentioning our engagement. It didn't cross Bella's mind to be honest with her best friend, the one she always claimed she loved.

If Bella could keep such secrets from Jacob, the boy she kissed passionately in front of her fiancé – what might she keep from me?

Jacob's vivid imagery distracted me from the contemplation of Bella's finicky ways. The dream started innocently enough with the hunky wolf playing football on the beach. He threw the ball back and forth to his friends until they jostled him onto the water. Quil grabbed him by the shoulders and rolled around with him.

I felt a sharp spike of jealousy at the easy intimacy of the scene that featured the pack having fun. I had never enjoyed the friendship so carelessly displayed. Of course, the warm bosom of my family always sheltered me, but I had no outside friends to speak of. I couldn't run the risk of anyone suffering the effects of my curse, which always required a cloak of secrecy.

The Denalis were my closest friends, but I couldn't ever roughhouse with them the way Jacob's friends did. I would never assuage the hunger to have friends which came to me as a faint echo of my youth in faraway Illinois.

I resolved to fashion a friendship with the wolf. No matter what happened to Bella, whether we found her or not, I yearned to bask in the easygoing camaraderie Jacob shared with the pack. I envied the closeness denoted by small gestures and touches.

I was startled when Jacob's dream took a sharp turn towards eroticism. He palmed his arousal in the bright sunshine and threw off his shirt, padding towards a narrow bed. I braced myself to see him frolicking with Bella, dread spreading over me.

His dreams shifted and he slowly uncovered a body with broad shoulders, a stray sunshine highlighting a bulge which he softly touched. The man he was with opened his eyes and Jacob bent down to kiss him.

I bit back a moan at the beauty in Jacob's face that spoke of acceptance and warmth towards his dream companion. The man's features remained foggy, though. Jake shoved the man's legs apart with his knees and settled between them as I rushed out of the room.

It wasn't the gender of his companion or the decided turn towards raw sensuality that bothered me. In my long years I had read similar thoughts in the minds of many people. As I rode the elevator down to the lobby, I realized I was torn between jealousy and envy.

I so wanted him to look at me like that, just one time.

Pacing back and forth in the lobby, I tried to decide where to go. The Portland night beckoned me to slip out of the hotel and seek distractions, but the thought of returning by Jacob's side lured me relentlessly. I glanced at my watch and decided to go back; hopefully, by now he would have finished what he started in the dream.

Silently opening the door of the room, I stepped inside and shook my head at his angelic face which hid the dirty, enticing dreams the wolf had.

I spent the rest of the night watching the soothing pattern of Jacob's chest rising and falling. I had a problem because the wolf's dreams had made me hard. I toyed with the idea of masturbating in the room, but his acute senses would alert him. Jacob would be outraged and make a scene, and as a result we would storm off in different directions. I also refrained because, underlying the rush of desire Jacob's dream unleashed, I wanted his friendship.

It was hard to avoid rubbing my hand over my pants. Letting out a heavy sigh, I picked up the Henry Miller erotic novel and threw it down to the floor, deciding that it would do nothing to cool my ardor.

oOoOo

The next morning we started on the road after Jacob wolfed down his breakfast. I was about to open the door of the convertible when I had an idea. I needed to make a dramatic gesture to gain his friendship, so I turned towards him.

"Catch them," I said, throwing him the car keys.

He caught them easily on his open palm. He walked up to me and gripped my elbow. "You're playful in the morning, Edward. Here you are." He tried to push the keys onto my hand.

I shook my head and walked towards the passenger side. "I'm not kidding, Jacob. Why don't you drive?"

"What? I know you don't allow anyone to drive, man. Bella is always moaning about your controlling nature," he said, crossing his arms across his chest.

"So dear Bella complains about me, does she?" I looked down and had to refrain from kicking the tire in anger, knowing I would ruin it. "I want you to drive."

"But why? You drive so well."

I lifted my arms in exasperation and then opened the door. Climbing inside, I cursed heatedly the moment I decided to gain the wolf's friendship.

"Because you want to drive, mutt!" I said loudly. "Your thoughts scream you want to push the car to its limits, feel its raw power on the highway."

"You really want me to drive," said Jacob tentatively, worrying his bottom lip.

"I do, now shut up and get in!"

"Sorry, man. I just can't believe it!" He sat down gracefully and shot me a boyish grin while he fiddled with the safety belt. "Of course I want to drive this beauty hard and fast, pound the road so harshly…"

"Come on, wolf. Get a move on!" My sarcasm hid the fact that a shiver coursed through my body at Jacob's words.

"Really appreciate it, Edward." He patted my thigh and fiddled with the wheel, leaning down to roll the little nub that controlled the angle of the rearview mirror.

As Jacob raced through the highway, I earnestly hoped my plan would work because the nonchalant way he drove made me cringe.

Jacob would swoop down on a huge trailer as if he was a hunting wolf, and then swerve around at the last moment thanks to his fast reflexes. He drove fast, without the assurance of reading the minds of the other drivers.

The possibility of a crash didn't threaten me personally; my safety was assured in any case. I worried about the soft flesh of the wolf at the mercy of careless drivers.

oOoOo

Jacob bought me the t-shirt in San Francisco, at a boutique on Haight-Ashbury which sold secondhand clothes.

The morning light filtered through the tinted windows of the shop when he pushed the shirt onto my chest, shooting me a winsome smile.

"Since you are a fan of the Ramones," he mumbled, rolling the shirt across my waist. "And this fits you just right…"

Nodding in satisfaction, he made his way to the counter and haggled with the owner. He settled for a good price while I stood on the corner, frowning at the way the adoring woman fawned over him.

When we got back to the car, which was parked on Clayton Street, he fished the shirt out of the paper bag and draped it over my shoulder. "This is for you, Edward, with my thanks."

"For what?" My thumb and forefinger gripped his wrist. I expected him to struggle and try to break free, but instead he leaned towards me.

Jacob's brown eyes darkened as he approached me ever so slowly, I felt like yanking him towards me. He splayed his hand on m chest and whispered huskily, "For letting me drive, for becoming my friend, and… for being you."

He kissed me so briefly I would have thought the soft touch upon my lips was a reverie. The sharp taste of cinnamon and Jacob on my lips was enticing, his scent alluring.

And it was over too soon.

He jerked back and turned aside, his hand searching blindly for the door handle. "Sorry, man, so sorry."

I couldn't read his mind because his thoughts were too jumbled, so I held onto his shoulder. "Whatever for? Are you sorry you kissed me?"

"Nope. Not for that." He was blushing so hotly, I could feel the heat coming from his face.

"Then why?"

"We've become friends and then I force myself on you, just like I did with Bella." He bit his lip, his hands firmly on his lap. "Didn't ask permission or anything. You must think I'm a moronic dog, right?"

I pushed him against the leather seat and leaned close, my nose touching his cheek. "You're nothing of the kind, Jacob, please get rid of that notion!"

"Couldn't help myself; you looked so good," he muttered despondently, his thoughts continuing, 'And hot and yummy.'

I concentrated on Jacob, disregarding the passersby which stood beneath the oak on the other side of the street and gaped at us. If they wanted a show I would provide it; it didn't matter, as long as Jacob didn't leave.

I framed his face with my hands and peppered his cheeks with kisses, my nostrils flaring as I drank his earthy scent. I licked the crease of his mouth and muttered against the soft skin, "This answers your question, Jake?"

He opened his mouth to speak, which gave me the chance to kiss him, my tongue invading his mouth to slide over his teeth and coax his tongue out to play.

I closed my eyes briefly, dismissing the dirty thoughts coming from several men in front of the beige house opposite us. I was sure they were sporting leers.

I placed my hand on his chest, feeling as it heaved up and down, and the warm heart which beat so strongly against my cold fingers. I broke the kiss when the sensations from his mind overwhelmed me.

"This answers you?" I growled against his neck. "You didn't take anything I didn't want to give."

"Are you sure, man?"

"Of course, you stubborn wolf!"

"C'mon, kiss the cutie!" A burly man said, nudging a thin guy. "Cuz if you don't, I'd sure love to try."

Both men chuckled.

Jake blushed and hid his face on my shoulder while I glared at them.

"Don't get worked up, blondie!" said the guy. "Please your man instead."

His thin friend pulled him away by the elbow, scared by my snarls. "Come on, Joe! Let's go home; watching these hunks go at it has made me horny."

The man shrugged and walked away, calling over his shoulder. "If you two are ever up for a threesome, just call Joe Vonnie."

oOoOo

Driving towards Santa Cruz on the highway with Jake by my side was pure heaven. This stretch of the road meandered near the sea. The view of the Pacific Ocean below us was breathtaking, but not as enticing as the man by my side. The wind ruffled his hair as he talked nonstop, nudging my elbow when I didn't pay enough attention.

"So, where will we go?" he said, glancing up at the cloudy sky. "Been two hours since we left San Francisco."

"We'll drive down the California coast searching for her," I said a bit guiltily, because I had forgotten to call Alice and ask her if she had another vision.

"It's going to be good." Jacob stretched his arms and yawned widely, glancing at me. "You look good in your Ramones t-shirt."

"Thanks, Jacob, you didn't have to buy it."

"Least I could do to show my appreciation," he said, worrying his bottom lip. "Gotta say you're not the guy I thought you were. You're fun and not stuffy at all."

I scowled, but when he beamed at me I decided to let sleeping wolves lie.

"We don't have Bella to fight over." I simply shrugged. "I guess you haven't seen this side of me."

"Glad I got to know you better," he said, his hand touching my shoulder as his warm fingers brushed against my arm.

"And you're not all defensive and growling at me, Jacob."

"You want me to growl at you, huh?" he said, smacking my shoulder playfully. "Want me to be the big bad wolf?"

I shook my head, unobtrusively raising my knee to hide my bulge as Jacob smirked and leaned closer. I sat up on the seat and leaned towards him but the wolf just licked my ear shell and whispered, "Let's go to the beach!"

Glaring at Jake's teasing, I floored the gas pedal and the car sped towards the stretch of deserted beach. The day was windy and cold which meant few people were about.

Jacob took off his plaid shirt and bent down to untie his shoelaces, taking off his sneakers. Then he dashed out of the car, padding on the asphalt before running towards the ocean. I just sat on the car for a while, enjoying the play of muscles as he pumped his arms up and down, his russet skin contrasting nicely against his white undershirt.

Jacob's carefree ways buoyed me up; I was free of my usual worries and brooding thoughts about a future with Bella. Instead, I basked in the warmth of the sun by my side, relentlessly drawn to the man running on the beach, his jeans and undershirt completely soaked by now. I hitched my breath at the sight of the sculpted torso and abdomen I had often glimpsed.

Jacob started doing somersaults over the waves, whooping with laughter.

Smiling widely, I took off my shoes and socks and then got out of the car, glancing at a passerby before I strolled onto the beach. Once I reached his side, the playful wolf saw his chance and pounced on me with a smirk on his handsome face, both of us falling onto the sand.

"You've got me wet, Jacob," I said, looping my arms around his neck, hitching up my leg close around his hips.

"You ain't seen wet yet," he said with a grin as his thumb caressed my cheek. "It isn't fair, you know."

"What?" My hand brushed his wet hair which felt so smooth under my fingers.

"You look hot even when you're wet."

"I thought you were hotter than me," I said with a leer.

Jacob blushed and didn't answer. I spread my arms on the sand; Jacob kissed my chin and raised up onto his knees. He stood up and grinned at me before he plodded towards the sea, the waves lapping against his ankles.

I smiled fondly at the wolf, my gaze straying towards the shoreline. There was a man snapping pictures who waved his camera at me when he saw I was watching. I stared intently at him while I read his thoughts. His girlfriend was sitting impatiently in the car, wrapped in a warm blanket as she read a romantic novel, too comfortable to venture walking on the windy beach.

I couldn't help but feel smug when I compared her to Jacob.

"Edward, did you see that seagull?" Jake pointed at the bird with a wide smile but when he noticed my expression, his eyes followed my gaze and he saw the man.

His thoughts turned dark, as malleable as his shapeshifter nature. 'You're making eyes at the cute guy? What the hell?'

He glared at me and stomped towards the road. 'I thought we had… forget it, leech.'

I ran to him and grabbed his shoulder. "Wait, Jake."

'Probably going to mock me with your Bella after we find her.' Jacob tried to yank his shoulder free. "Shouldn't have trusted you."

"You're wrong, Jake."

"No, I'm not."

The way the stubborn wolf jumped to conclusions made me so mad, I held onto his shoulders and whirled him around so he would face me. I poked his chest and growled, "Listen, mutt; that man you're so jealous of has a grumpy girlfriend waiting for him in the car."

"He... does?" Jake glanced at the highway and shuddered when he saw the guy was hugging a brunette with long hair.

"If you distrust me so much, let's forget this thing between us!" I let out a mournful sigh. "I'll drive you to the bus station and you can go back to Forks."

I stalked towards the shore, my buoyant mood dropping like a heavy stone. If Jacob didn't believe my feelings were real, what was the point of going on?

I felt the rush of air on my back before he tackled me to the sand; he looked at me and gently cradled my face between his warm hands. "I'm sorry, ok?" He grimaced in anguish. "Edward, I'm just not used to someone paying me attention."

"That man at the rest stop and the women at the hotel?" I snorted in disbelief. "Those guys in San Francisco? Everyone pays attention to you."

"I meant… liking someone who likes me back." He bit his lips and let go of me, sitting on his haunches.

"Oh," I said thickly as the realization hit me like a train. No wonder Jacob was insecure after the way Bella played with him. Only my intervention allowed him to find out we were engaged. Bella thought nothing of continuing her pointless charade, assuring that Jacob's pain would not easily fade.

"It makes me jealous, ok?" Jacob shivered while a tear rolled down his cheek. "I'm afraid I'll lose you when we find Bella. You'll go back to her, or someone pretty will show up and you will forget me."

I grabbed his shoulder, grappling and tussling with Jacob until I was atop him. My fingers lingered on his smooth cheek as I said, "You are very special and dear to me. I won't lose interest in you, Jacob. I want to find Bella to make sure she is all right, but I am not ever going back to her."

"I thought you two loved each other very much."

"Bella is like that guy's girlfriend," I said slowly. "She never shared my joys or cared to find out I like the Ramones."

"She was always babbling about you," he said.

"About what I felt for her, not what she did for me. Bella wouldn't have the thoughtful gesture of giving me this." I fingered the hem of my wet t-shirt.

Jake laid his fingers on my cheek. "Will you really leave her?"

"Trust me, I will." I pointed down to him, and then to my chest. "Even if we don't stay together, I'm not going back to her."

"Sorry I doubted you, Edward. I just…" I leaned down and kissed Jacob, interrupting his unnecessary apology. My tongue brushed his lips until he opened them and then slid home. Jacob writhed under me, wrapping his legs around me and shoving me around so he ended on top of me. The cold waves crashed against us as Jacob's warmth enveloped me, my personal sunrise.

"Will you stay with me?" he said, breaking up the kiss.

"I won't give up the joy I feel when I'm with you." I gazed up at his beautiful face which was framed by drops of water, his brow crowned with sea foam churned by the waves breaking around us.