The Old Man Who Lives In a Box

By: Embarr

Chapter One

"Apples"

When Ruby had told her there was a strange man, waving around a metal wand down the street from the diner, Emma thought she was actually going to have to arrest - or at least lecture - some random fairytale character that had gotten his hands on a fairy wand. She was quickly reminded by Ruby that fairy wands weren't made of metal, though, which only left her bewildered. Her past self would have thought Ruby was just a little too much into D&D, while now Emma was filing the information away for future reference. That wasn't your typical sheriff job requirement unless you were in Storybrooke.

Emma exited the diner and almost immediately found who Ruby had been talking about. He was no longer waving a "metal wand", but he was standing dangerously close to a potted plant. The stranger dressed in a brown, tweed suit with a bright red bow tie around his neck. She'd never seen him in town before, but with the curse broken there had been a bit of migration within the town itself as people found family members or loved ones. Perhaps he'd been a secluded hermit, much like Jefferson, or he'd simply changed his clothes recently to match his new-found personality. Emma was sure that, if she had seen that outfit before, she would have remembered him.

"Excuse me," Emma said, trying to draw the man's attention away from the plant he was practically assaulting. It looked as if he was trying to get at the roots without actually uprooting the plant. She called out to him again when he didn't seem to hear her, stepping a little closer and making sure her badge was visible… and her gun.

The man finally looked up, quickly noting her badge and firearm and stepping away from the plant. His fingertips were a shade darker than the rest of his hands from the dirt.

"Ah, the local authority. Would you mind pointing me in the direction of a park or a forest, or somewhere where you won't arrest me for digging in dirt? I need some samples."

"For?"

"For a more in-depth analysis. You see, I know I'm on the east coast of the Americas but it tastes a little too much like," The man then stuck out his tongue for a moment, before continuing, "apples to be anywhere near there."

"And you need a better analysis than a tongue test?" Emma asked, skeptically.

"Yes, exactly," The man replied, grinning.

"Um, I'm Sheriff Swan… Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor," the lanky man answered, grinning wider and hooking his thumbs into suspenders Emma hadn't noticed before. A bow tie and suspenders. Of course.

"The Doctor... Sounds like some crappy comic book villain," Emma said, crossing her arms in front of her. Then, she considered him for a moment. "That's not what you are, is it? It's probably not the weirdest things I've come across here, but still..."

"I assume you're referring to the anomalies I detected in this area. My... vehicle barely avoided crashing. Certainly didn't plan on visiting - where am I?"

"Storybrooke." Emma flatly answered. The man - The Doctor, seriously? - stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around at the main street with a narrowed gaze.

"Lovely name. Sounds like storybook and, I have a feeling, this place has quite the story to tell. As for your question, no, I am not a villain. I'm a pacifist. I suppose I'd make an impressive villain though; A very cool one." The Doctor emphasized his point by reaching up to adjust his bow tie.

Emma bit back a nerd comment and instead gave the man a polite smile she liked to call her "I don't want to put up with this, but pulling a gun on them is probably not a good idea right now" smile. She didn't know what was worse, that this guy thought he was in some way cool or that he was a self-declared pacifist. There was one thing that was clearly bad though; this man was not from Storybrooke, and she'd been talking to him as if he were.

"Oh, well," she scrambled to cover, trying to look as calm as possible. "Welcome to Storybrooke… Don't worry about my comment about weird things happening, by the way. When you're sheriff you usually deal with the unusual stuff."

The Doctor nodded. "No worries. Of course. I'm sure there are plenty of things to keep you busy, in a quaint town like this - visited plenty smaller and stranger in my time but this place, this Storybrooke, intrigues me." He took another look around the area, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Are you some kind of scientist?" Emma asked while wishing very hard that he wasn't. He'd been talking about detecting anomalies, though, which was strongly going against what she wanted. The last thing they needed in this town was someone with a curious mind.

"I guess you could say that," he said, still looking around, and then something across the street caught his eye. "Oh, hello there."

His focus was on none other than Dr. Hopper, who was walking Pongo. By the intense look on the Doctor's face, Emma figured it was probably a good idea to follow him, if he tried to lick Archie or something. He kind of left the impression that he was capable of something as freaky and gross as that.

Emma was closing in on the gap between her and the Doctor when Archie finally noticed the strange man approaching him. He opened his mouth - probably to voice some polite inquiry, which would be a typical Archie thing to do - only to pause as the man crouched to give Pongo a good scratch behind the ears.

"What might your name be, eh?" The Doctor asked the Dalmatian. Pongo barked a few times, seemingly excited by the visitor.

"His name's Pongo. I guess you like dogs," Archie said, seeing an opening in the slightly awkward situation before him.

"Nice to meet you Pongo. I'm the Doctor."

"I'm-"

"Dr. Archie Hopper," The Doctor said before Archie could continue. He pulled his attention away from Pongo, springing up to offer his hand to Archie. The red-headed psychologist took it and the Doctor pumped his arm strongly. "Yes, I know. Pongo was kind enough to make the introductions."

"Wha -" Pongo barked again before Archie could get anything else out.

"He would also like you to know that he believes his mate is somewhere in the west part of town. They seem to keep missing each other at the local vet's office, which is why he keeps feigning a limp even though he doesn't like the vet. He has cold hands."

"Mate?" Archie asked quizzically.

"Yes, Perdita," the Doctor answered and then he turned back to crouch in front of Pongo. "No, I'm sure she's not trying to avoid you, a strapping young canis familiaris like yourself. Sometimes it's simply bad timing. I can vouch for that."

Archie's gaze met with Emma's at that point. They both shared the same confused expression, and Emma shrugged to show that she was handing this situation over to Archie for the moment. Archie frowned in response, but put on a polite smile for the Doctor. Unlike Emma's, his was at least slightly genuine and without a trace of violence behind it.

"Pongo told you my name?"

The Doctor glanced up, still scratching Pongo behind the ears. "Yes, I speak dog. You should be flattered that he bothered to give your name. Say what you want about dogs being man's best friend, but if you're not a good companion they'll simply call you 'the food dispenser'."

"Oh…" Archie said. He was taking the information quite well, but if it had been just Archie Hopper hearing that he probably would have handed the man his card. "Are you a magician, perhaps?"

"Archie," Emma suddenly said, a little louder than she'd intended. She inwardly winced but continued. "This is the Doctor. He's from outside of Storybrooke."

She gave the psychologist a pointed look just in case her words weren't enough but she didn't have to worry. Archie's eyebrows rose and his mouth formed an "o" as he looked back down at the strange man who was getting stranger by the second. If he wasn't from Storybrooke then he wasn't from the Enchanted Forest. If he wasn't from there, then he definitely wasn't a magician (a real one, anyways), which only left one conclusion for both Archie and Emma… This man was probably clinically insane.

"Um, Mr. Doctor…"

"Just Doctor," The Doctor said, going back to the quiet conversation that he was having with Pongo.

"Okay," Emma continued. "What brings you to Storybrooke, Doctor?"

"That is exactly what I am trying to find out," he answered.

"By talking to a dog?"

"Ask a human a question and you might get the edited version of the truth, at best. If you want the unbridled truth, however, you ask someone who understands the value of not keeping unnecessary secrets. Case in point, Pongo, you ol' rascal!" The Doctor said, gesturing to Pongo and kissing him on the top of his head. His gaze then suddenly turned apologetic towards the Dalmatian whom Emma could swear looked offended. "Sorry, it just slipped out. Of course you're not old, but you gave me an idea."

That seemed to brighten the dog's mood, surprisingly. That, or the Doctor's delusions were contagious. Emma jumped in surprise, unprepared for the bow tie wearing man popping up suddenly from his crouch. The Doctor then pulled out what was obviously the metal wand Ruby had seen earlier.

"What's that?" Archie asked him, as the Doctor fiddled with it for a moment.

"I should have thought of doing this scan earlier," The Doctor muttered. He actually waved the device in the air, extended high above his head. The tip glowed green and a whirring sound told them that it was doing… something. He then brought it back down to eye level and frowned. "This is very odd."

"What is?" Emma asked, mentally sighing. She pictured paperwork and town meetings in her future.

"What's the population size of this town?"

"I don't know. 3,000 or more?" Emma guessed. It would probably be a good idea to do a head count, she thought. She suddenly felt like a very lousy sheriff all over again.

"Probably more," Archie offered. Apparently he wasn't sure either, which made her feel a little better. "What did Pongo say?"

Dr. Hopper, teeming with wise words and solid advice, was now staring at the Doctor like a curious child. Emma wanted to groan - loudly - but she was too busy keeping an eye on Storybrooke's latest guest who was muttering to himself and ignoring Archie's question.

"3,000 or more… Definitely no more than 5,000, by the looks of it, which means we have a problem," The Doctor said, turning about in the same spot to take in what he could see of the town. Then, very suddenly, the strange man was off again. This time he was making a bee-line for Granny's Diner. Pongo barked, causing the Doctor to send a quick wave goodbye to the dog and Archie.

"Wait, what?" Emma ran to catch up to him. "What do you mean a problem?"

The Doctor suddenly rounded on her, causing Emma to instinctively go for her gun as she pedaled backwards to keep from colliding with him. The look on his face was not threatening, though. Instead, it was like he was eager to share a juicy secret.

"Woah," she exclaimed.

"Do you know how much psychic energy the average human produces?"

"Uh…"

"Your town might be small, but its psychic energy levels are through the roof!"

"Which means…?" Emma inquired.

"I have no idea," The Doctor answered, but he looked much more excited than he should. "But I'm going to find out." Then, he spun back around and pushed his way through the diner doors. Emma groaned.

Yes, there was definitely a town meeting in her future.

888

A/N: The End. Well, okay. There could be another chapter, possibly. I intended this to be a one-shot but it kind of feels like it should have two or three parts. It will definitely be finished, however, because I've got plenty of ideas brewing for the ending. Forgive me for any discrepancies concerning Doctor Who. It's been less than a year since I started watching it and I obviously haven't seen every episode or every Doctor. Also, I hope I caught all the typos and stuff, but I wrote this all in less than 12 hours and I'm running on fumes.

Let's hope that I can get back to updating my other stories as well but, for now, I hope you enjoyed this. Review please!