Everyone marked the day on their calendar; the day that Bumi would be on leave from the United Forces and be able to come home. Katara and Aang wanted to see their little boy again; see him smile and be able to wrap their arms around a concrete form, instead of just a photograph. Kya wanted her partner in crime back. She wanted to have someone to laugh with and pull pranks on Tenzin. Even Tenzin had to admit that, though annoying, he missed his bigger brother.
Ursa was there, too, when the ship rolled in and the troops started walking off. Then they all spotted him. His wild chestnut hair billowing in the breeze, red uniform as polished as ever. Bumi was pulled in with hugs and kisses from the entire family. Uncle Sokka patted him on the back and asked if the sword he made him was as lucky as he thought it would be. Toph and Zuko offered him broad smiles and words of praise. Father, Mother, Sister, and Brother all slathered him with, "I missed you," and "Oh, you've gotten so much taller!"
Finally when it was her turn, he pulled her into his arms and whispered words of love. But those happy sentiments didn't reach his eyes. They didn't have that special shine to them from before. An air of mischief and optimism that comes from going off on one's own journey for the first time. Instead his blue eyes were hollow and his smile only halfway stretched across his face, like it was a chore to even put it there at all.
The entire clan went out to celebrate his coming home. Bumi told them all gallant stories of his commanding officers and gruesome tales of rigorous training that Katara would wince at.
"My poor baby," she said throwing her arms around him.
"I'm so proud of you, son. You've made your own path in life. You're a man grown now." Aang said.
Bumi smiled that same halfway grin that didn't reach his eyes. He looked crestfallen; broken.
"My brother, grown up? Yeah right." Kya slapped Bumi in the back of his head and started to laugh. "He'll always be the younger brother to me."
Everyone shared a laugh around the table.
It was nightfall when Ursa crept into Bumi's room. She found him sitting on the bed staring absent-mindedly at his hands, like they were some foreign object that he couldn't quite grasp. She crept up behind him and planted a small kiss on his cheek, still he doesn't move.
"What's wrong with you? You act like you're not happy to be home."
He swivels his head to look at her and she can see that his eyes are red and puffy and that he looks as if he's aged at least ten years.
"Bumi, what's wrong?" She gently grasps his hand and puts it in her own.
"You were all so proud of me today, weren't you?"
"Of course we are." She says gently.
"Why are you proud of me?"
"Well, because you went off and fought for something you believed in and you followed your own path, just like Aang said. You're so brave to go off and fight the rebellions. That takes real courage. You're definitely you're father's son."
He jerks his hand away from her grip and puts his head in them.
"I'm nothing like Dad. I'm not brave. I'm just a coward."
He seemed on the verge of breaking just then, that Ursa didn't know how to comfort him.
"I don't know why you would believe that, Bumi. No one thinks that."
"That's because they don't know anything." And he really was crying now. Small tears slipping down his brown skin. He made no move to stop them and none to hide them.
"It was an accident. I didn't mean to do it. If Dad knew, he would never look at me the same again." His words were coming in tangles now. Ursa had to grasp to make sense of them.
"What happened to you, Bumi?" Her voice was low and serious. And the levy finally broke, his secrets spilling out all at once.
"I killed a man, Ursa. I killed him and didn't even think twice about it. H-he was coming after us in a raid and he almost got him, almost got Ling. He was so aggressive. He had burned an entire Earth Kingdom village and hadn't even stopped to think about the collateral damage. He didn't even stop to think about all the innocent women and children who died. I couldn't watch another one of my men be killed, so I did it first."
The revelation was shocking. Bumi's shoulder's shook while he talked. Ursa's mouth was agape from the horror of the tale.
"I just stabbed him! I didn't even blink. Then his blood was on my hands before I realized what I had done. They praised me," he let out a dry laugh. "They actually praised me for what I did. I saved a person's life at the expense of another. How can they call me a hero, Ursa? How can Dad be proud of me after this?"
There was a ringing silence in the air for several moments.
"How can you possibly think that your dad would ever stop being proud of you?"
Bumi unburies his face from his hands and looks at her incredulously.
"Aang loves without reserve. He doesn't judge unjustly and most importantly, he would never not be proud of his kids. No matter what. Now go talk to him."
Aang finds his son sitting at the kitchen table in the dark. Maybe it was because he was the Avatar, or perhaps Fatherly instincts but Aang always knew when something was bothering his kids. He sits down wordlessly beside him and clasps his hands together.
"What do you need to tell me, son?"
Bumi's entire story comes bursting out and Aang listens without saying a word. For the first time in a long while, he sees his son cry. He sees him cry like when he was a child and something in Aang's heart breaks because this time he couldn't kiss it and make it better.
When Bumi was finished, Aang's only words are, "Go on living for the life that was lost. It's the only thing a man can do to keep his sanity."
"How can you not hate me? You didn't even kill Firelord Ozai!"
Aang buries his son to his chest. "Son, have I put that much pressure on you to be like me? No, it's never justified to kill. But Bumi, I'll never look at you any different because of this. In truth, there was a time where I would have killed many to protect the ones I love."
"Really?"
"Yes. That's what war does to people. But I believe out of any tragedy, there can be hope."
Bumi pushed away from his Dad's embrace, wiped his eyes, and smiled for the first time in days.
"You're right. Dad, I'm going to go on living for that soldier. I'm going to climb up through the ranks so one day I can make things better. I won't squander the life I've been given. I will preserve your peace and help keep balance to the world."
Aang smiles and gives his son a military salute.
"You really are my son, aren't you?"