Olivia delayed going home as long as she could, hoping to find Alex asleep. She did find the apartment dark and eased through the living room and down the hall to their room. She got ready for bed in the bathroom and then eased between the sheets. She was surprised when Alex began rubbing her belly and kissing her jaw line.

"I thought you were asleep."

"Nope. After today's events I wanted to make sure you got home safely."

"Events?"

Alex chuckled. "Being held at gun point?"

"Oh. That. It's just part of the job Alex."

Alex leaned over and kissed her. "You've had almost 20 years to get used to things like this Olivia, I've only had 7 months. The possibility that the person I love could end the day in the morgue is new for me."

Feeling guilty, Olivia turned onto her side, facing Alex.

"I'm sorry Alex, I didn't think about that. Thank you for caring."

The blonde leaned in and kissed her lover and eased her onto her back. She moved atop Olivia and was sliding her hand down into the brunette's panties when Olivia stopped her.

"Sweetie, I'm drained…."

"Shhh. Let me do this for you."

Alex began exploring Olivia and soon had her writhing beneath her tongue. She could tell her lover was close and stiffened her tongue even more, catching her clit at just the right angle.

Olivia's body exploded as an image of Dean Porter's face flashed behind her closed eyes, causing them to fly open as realization dawned on her. She moved away from Alex, both frightened and ashamed by what had just happened.

Alex looked at her with concern and tilted her head asking the unspoken question.

"Come here Alex, please!"

Alex did as asked. Olivia turned on her side and pulled Alex's arm around her, tightly.

"Hold me. Please."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alex had fallen asleep almost instantly, but Olivia hadn't slept much at all. She laid awake all night thinking about what had happened. She felt guilty and confused and as soon as the sun came up, she eased out of Alex's embrace and went to shower.

Alex was still sleeping as she got ready to leave and she took a moment to stare at her lover. The blonde was breathtakingly beautiful asleep. Her hair was fanned out on the pillow, her cheeks were rosy and she had a faint smile on her face.

Olivia swore under her breath and hurried from the apartment.

XXXXXXXXXXX

They had just finished interviewing Terri Barnes and were on the way back to the station when Olivia blurted out, "I cheated on Alex."

Elliot swerved to avoid hitting a car and looked at his partner.

"What?"

"Last night."

He hit the steering wheel and began looking for a place to pull over. He found an open spot and pulled the sedan in.

"I knew I shouldn't have left you alone last night! What did you do, fuck him in the crib?"

"No! I didn't screw him Elliot!"

"What?"

Olivia took a deep breath, looked out the window and then down at her hands.

"I didn't physically cheat Elliot. I…we were…you know, last night and at an inopportune moment my mind went to Dean."

Elliot sighed. "Thank God." He looked at Olivia. "You didn't share this with Alex, did you?"

"No. I was too ashamed." She looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I love her Elliot and I don't know why I'm behaving this way."

He softened at her obvious distress.

"Listen…this case will be over soon, Porter will go back to whatever rock he crawled out from under and everything will be normal again." He took her hand. "But Liv, under no circumstances should you tell Alex about this. It will only hurt her and you've not actually cheated."

Olivia looked doubtful. "I subscribe to the Jimmy Carter theory Elliot."

Truth be told, so did Elliot, but he wasn't about to let his partner wreck the best thing to happen to her in a long time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After realizing they'd been duped by Porter, Elliot and Olivia were trying to figure out how they could prove Porter's involvement.

"I got it! Porter doesn't know about Alex and me and thinks I still live at the same place. We'll get Kathleen out of the apartment, I'll invite him over, let him think he's going to get lucky, fake a call from Cragen and see what happens."

Elliot nodded. "Could work. Maybe TERU has some sort of gadget or bug or something."

She turned to go see Cragen when Elliot stopped her. "Are you sure you're ok with this?"

She rolled her eyes. "You'll be there, in my bedroom Elliot. It's not like I'm actually going to sleep with him!"

He finally nodded and they went in search of Cragen.

XXXXXXXXXX

After getting the ok and setting the plan in motion, Olivia called Alex to give her a head's up.

"So I'll sort of be undercover, ok?"

"Ok."

"Alex, you do understand that I might have to kiss Porter, right?"

Alex chuckled. "Yes Olivia, I do."

"And you are ok with that?"

On the other end of the line Alex raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"Yes. Is there a reason I shouldn't be? I trust you Olivia and this is for work. Nothing more."

Olivia sighed in relief. "Thank you Alex. I just wanted you to know what was going on."

"Be careful and I love you."

XXXXXXXXXX

Alex had arrived back at the apartment just as Olivia was leaving for her dinner date with Porter. She thought Olivia looked stunning and told her so, sealing it with a kiss.

Olivia tried to push thoughts of Alex away as she waited on Porter to arrive. Elliot and Morales were set up in her old bedroom. She had put a pot of water on the stove to give the illusion of cooking.

When Porter finally arrived they made small talk until she sat down next to him on the couch. She allowed him to lean in and kiss her and soon they were making out. She was surprised that she was enjoying it and mortified when she felt herself get wet.

She was silently praying for Cragen to call her asap and got her wish. She made her apologies and saw Porter to the door. While Elliot and Morales were busy tracing Porter's call, Olivia hurried into the bathroom and changed back into work clothes. She had to use a tissue to clean herself and wished she had another pair of panties to put on.

By the time she left the bathroom, they were ready to go and hurried to the address the phone call had come from. Everything went quickly after that and soon they were back at the station interrogating Terri Barnes.

Just as they were about to go hard at her, Cragen interrupted them and ordered them to turn her lose. Before Elliot and Olivia could protest, Agent Porter stepped into the room and took custody of Terri Barnes.

Olivia immediately felt betrayed by Porter and was surprised at how hurt she felt. Elliot seemed to sense this and gave her a moment alone with the agent.

"Why didn't you tell me? Trust me?"

"Our feelings don't matter Olivia."

She watched as he turned and walked out of the station. She retreated within herself and started in on the necessary paperwork. It was well after midnight by the time she got home. She crawled into bed without going through her nightly routine and was glad Alex had awoken, but surprised when the blonde sought her out in sleep and snuggled into her.

XXXXXXXXX

2 weeks later

Alex was waiting on Olivia when she got home that night, well past midnight for the 6th night. They had not been intimate since before the Barnes case and all attempts by Alex had been rebuffed by Olivia. The blonde had thought her lover was suffering some PTSD from being held at gun point and she was about to suggest she get some help.

Olivia took a deep breath before entering the apartment. She wasn't surprised to find Alex waiting on her. In fact she was relieved. She needed to confess to Alex what had happened with Porter and her confusion.

"We need to talk."

"We need to talk."

They both laughed at saying the same thing at the same time.

Olivia motioned for Alex to go first.

"Liv, I want you to see somebody about what happened in the Barnes case."

Olivia's head shot up. "How do you know what happened? Have you been talking to Elliot?"

"What? I'm talking about you being held at gun point and us not being intimate since that happened. What are you talking about?"

Olivia closed her eyes and motioned for Alex to sit down. After assuring the blonde she loved her, she confessed everything she'd been feeling since Porter's return to her life, and how she felt like she'd cheated.

Alex listened calmly before standing. She took a deep breath.

"While I am not happy that at the moment of release you thought of Dean Porter or that kissing him got you all wet, I don't consider it cheating. It is however a symptom of perhaps some bigger issue." She looked down at Olivia with a sad smile. "And this issue will not be solved tonight. We both need sleep." She held her hand out to the brunette who took it and rose to meet Alex.

They walked down the hall with Alex stopping in front of the second bedroom.

"I love you Olivia and we'll figure all of this out, but I can't sleep next to you right now. Please sleep in here until further notice."

Olivia nodded and started to lean in to kiss Alex, who backed away. She again nodded and slipped into the bedroom.

A/N: Hate to do this to you, but I will be out of town this week at an event where that chump Dick Wolf will be attending. I'm tempted to kick his shins, but I will refrain. I think. At any rate, it will be a few days before I post the next part of the series, High Tide.