Housekeeping

Hello all, you can blame my muse for this one. It's been banging at my head like the other ones. I'm just going to take the liberties with the inner workings of Arkham Asylum in that they have housekeeping like a normal motel, kinda. Let me know if I miss anything, I've never worked in housekeeping so I'm just gonna wing it.

All flames will be used to cook a proper lunch for all sexy men mentioned below.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my character.

Enjoy.

Thoughts

Alternate Personality Talking

Speaking

Chapter one: New Job Description.

Monday

I've been working at the asylum for about two weeks now and am just starting to get used to the routine. My new name tag/key card hung from a lanyard around my neck. A small walkie talkie hung from the front of my blouse. My jeans were freshly cleaned and my white tennis shoes were finally broken in. The trolley seemed to be easier to push every day and I was starting to get used to cleaning.

Now don't get me wrong, the asylum was a very dangerous place. I was assigned to cleaning the coma ward at first. Nothing easier then cleaning down a room without worrying about being grabbed, fondled or stabbed. I had access to most of the cells in Arkham but I never strayed from my area. I wasn't stupid, the few times I helped assist cleaning the cell of a 'normal' resident it was hell. Some liked to draw on their walls with whatever they could find blood, feces and even vomit. I had a special mask I wore whenever I had to clean a messy cell; I took the liberties and made my mask smell like lilacs. The harsh smell of vapor rub wasn't the most pleasant.

"Employee please respond." The radio on my chest crackled to life pulling me from my thoughts.

"This is Victoria, current position ward E responding." I leaned against my cleaning cart waiting to see where I would be sent next.

"Please respond to cell number 4457. Patient in therapy and room needs attending. Meet with Tami for instructions." The radio went silent and I blew some of my red hair from my face. I made sure that my cart was stocked then headed for the elevator, swiping my badge and entering my code. The doors opened with a small 'whoosh' and I stepped inside the violently bright elevator. I had never been to the fourth floor before, I wondered why my route was changing. There was no elevator music just the soft hum of the machine. With a 'ding' the doors opened and I strode down the fourth floor corridor following the room numbers until I met Tami.

"Oh yay you're finally here!" Tami was blonde. She was also skinny with nice assets. She stood several inches taller then my 5'3" frame and was tanned almost orange. "I'm sorry that you've been pulled from your ward so early in your training." She pouted and pointed at the cell before me. "You are being reassigned to my ward for the time being until other arrangements have been made. Consider it like a promotion." She smiled.

"A promotion?" I was confused but Tami quickly opened the door and ushered me into the cell.

"Yes. There was an accident. One of the other girls is taking over coma wing until she can be replaced. You get moved up to serial killers and general psychotic loonies." Tami waved around the cell. "Usually they're allowed to decorate the way they see fit, we don't touch it unless it's covered in body fluids or ordered to be detained. We just clean the floor, strip the bed and leave new sheets on top of the mattress. Let me make this clear, don't take the time to make the bed yourself." She pointed a finger in my face. "Don't want to be caught in here with a patient do you? Anyways just clean the sink and the toilet and polish the metal wall above the sink. No mirrors allowed. Make sure not to leave anything, and I mean anything, in a cell. Most of these patients could kill a guard with a paper straw. Before you go into a cell you radio in where you are at, make sure to ask if the patient is in room. If the patient is in, ask if it's safe to clean. A lot of the patients are heavily sedated so you'll just clean everything but the bed. Never move a patient or touch them and by all means don't let them touch you."

"Alright." I was getting overwhelmed quickly. I didn't have my notepad and she was speaking so fast.

"Okay then, I'm going to go back to my cleaning area and get back to work. Feel free to radio for me if you need any help." She hurried to the door and swiped her card to open the cell.

"Wait do I need to radio in that I'm in here?" I followed her out to grab my cleaning cart.

"Oh don't worry about it. I'll radio in that you've been trained and are cleaning the rooms. Just call in the next one okay?" She smiled then walked off leaving me to my work.

"Okay well here goes nothing." I pulled the cleaning trolley into the room and began cleaning. Hopefully by tomorrow I could get this all sorted out.

Tuesday

I signed in at the time clock and headed to the showers to prepare for the day. The head of housekeeping was out in meetings for the rest of the week so I'll just have to do my best with what I've got. After changing into my uniform I loaded my cart and stepped out to the main hallway.

"Employee Victoria checking in. Good morning." I sighed and walked towards the elevator hoping that I would be back in coma ward today.

"Good morning V. You're needed to clean room 4513. Patient is sedated and it is safe to clean inside." The voice sounded unusually chipper this morning but I shrugged it off to a wicked batch of awesome coffee and pushed the button to go up.

I found the room easily enough and double checked my supplies before clicking my walkie. "V arriving at room 4513." I checked in then walked to the door, opening the small covered peep hole to see inside. There was a man in a straightjacket lying in bed facing away from me. I swiped my badge and grabbed just a few basic cleaning supplies stepped inside.

"Good morning 4513." I was nervous but tried not to show it. His room was clean but I wiped down most of the fixtures anyways. After polishing the metal above the sink to a near mirror shine I sighed and rubbed my forehead.

"Rough day?" His voice made me jump. Turning around I saw that he hadn't bothered to get up just lay there and watch me. His startling blue eyes seemed to draw me in and I had to pull my gaze away from him. His brown hair was messy and clumped together from lack of care. He had dark circles under his eyes and his lips were pale and chapped. Even in his current state he was handsome.

"Day is just beginning 4513. And I'm really not supposed to be talking to you." I made sure all my cleaning supplies and dirty paper towels were in my apron and not left in his cell. Even restrained this man could hurt me.

"Oh you're allowed to talk to the patients, just not let them touch you." He was smirking showing a bit of blood on his teeth. "You just can't touch or be touched. Really hating that rule right now."

"And how do you know the rules for the staff?" I was curious as I readied to leave his cell.

"Well I did use to work here. I was, am a doctor. Jonathan Crane at your service. Well mostly, just not when my other side comes out. Would you like to meet him?" He grinned impishly and his eyes seemed to darken.

"I really need to leave now, lots of other rooms to clean." I swiped my badge and punched in my code. The door opened and I quickly slipped out and shut the door.

"Make sure to come back soon, haven't had a nice view in awhile. We both appreciate it!" I could hear him through the door and dumped my dirty towels into my trash bin and rubbed my arms.

Why are all the sexy ones crazy? Sighing I grabbed my walkie. "Room 4513 cleaned awaiting next assignment." Why couldn't I just get a printout of my rooms so I could do them all at once? The day droned on as I cleaned several other rooms most in good shape, one needed new plumbing, and hoped that it was almost time to go home.

"Please report to room 4217. Patient in therapy."

The radio clicked off and I pushed my cart slowly back down the hallway. I was kind of glad this room was empty. As I opened the door I was met by several large green question marks drawn crudely across the cell. I stripped the bed and tossed the sheets in my laundry bin before setting new ones on the bare mattress. I swept and mopped the floor and cleaned the sink and toilet. As I was polishing the metal above the sink I could hear footsteps coming down the hall so I finished up quickly. Making sure that nothing was left behind I swiped my badge, entered my code and walked out into the hallway.

"Well riddle me this! What fair maiden cleans my box, glows like amber rain and makes my heart go a patter?"

"What?" I turned and saw a tall red haired man in restraints standing between two tired looking orderlies. He was grinning from ear to ear and eyeing me in a way I didn't like.

"Don't bother to answer him miss. It just eggs him on." The guards sighed before grabbing his arms and leading him back into his cell. The patient didn't struggle but continued to eye me until he was obscured by the door. I decided that I lingered long enough and grabbed my walkie.

"V reporting, 4217 cleaned waiting next assignment." The guards came out of the room carrying the restraints and looking annoyed. Not bothering me a second glance they walked down the hall and disappeared around a corner. They hadn't bothered to close the covered peep hole so I walked over to do it.

"V report to room 4653. Wait for armed escort before cleaning room." The radio clicked off. Armed escort? I looked up and jumped seeing the patient staring intently at me through the glass.

"Be careful in that room honey, he's crazy." The man laughed a bit to himself. He stopped as I went to shut the cover. "Wait! You never asked my name. If we're going to go out again you certainly should know that."

"We're not going out 4217." How long had it been since a woman cleaned the rooms around here?

"Edward Nigma at your service. Now run along little V. Papa needs to think up some riddles for therapy on Thursday." He disappeared from view and I shut the cover.

"Maybe I should get a new job." Hanging my head in confusion I headed down the hall towards my last room of the day. There were four guards standing outside the room looking nervous and anxiously grabbing at their stun guns and batons. My hopes for a quick clean were dashed as my cart rolled up to them. "Everything alright?"

The guards didn't respond and one actually pulled me back several feet along with my cart. He then stood in front of me as the other three stormed into the cell. I could hear laughing and the buzz of electricity before it went silent. They dragged out a man with green hair and scars on both sides of his mouth. He seemed unconscious and they quickly strapped restraints on him. The guard in front of me stepped away and motioned me to the cell.

This cell was not an easy clean, the man had stained his sink green and there was paint over all his linens and even on the wall. It took me nearly an hour to buff most of the dye out of the sink and the makeup off the metal above it. My hands hurt, my feet hurt and my back was aching. I triple checked that nothing was left behind before leaving the cell. I could feel myself dragging, I would probably just pass right out after I got home.

"All clean guys." I pushed the cart several feet down the hall before stopping to pop my back.

The guards never bothered to remove the restraints on the patient. They threw him in head first and slammed the door shut. As quickly as the door shut most of the guards walked off some still holding onto their batons. The last guard stood for a moment staring into the cell before slamming the cover so hard that it bounced back open. He was halfway down the hall before I could say anything. I should just leave it be and radio out. Sighing I walked over and looked through the peep hole. The room was empty. I leaned closer and nearly screamed as two brown eyes popped into view.

"Well, well what do we have here?" His voice was rough and strained and I quickly slammed the cover shut and made sure it was locked. A loud laugh came through the door and I heard a banging sound from the other side. "Don't run doll face it only makes me wanna chase you more!"

"V reporting room 4653 cleaned. Dropping off laundry and checking out." My voice was shaking and I pushed my cart faster then I should have down the hall. I nearly jumped out of my skin when the radio crackled to life. I had to stop and catch my breath.

"Affirmative V. Have a good day." Once again the radio was silent and I pushed my cart a little slower. If only I could get to the elevator without another incident that would be great. The doors to the elevator were just starting to close as I neared them.

"Hold the doors please!" The guard inside quickly stuck his hand between the doors to hold them for me. I pushed my cart to the side and leaned back against the wall. "Second floor please."

"Rough day?" That voice again. My jaw nearly dropped when I looked over to see a restrained Crane smiling and leaning against the far wall. The guard stepped in between us but that didn't deter him. "Now why would you have any reason to look that down?"

"Shut it Crane, just leave the lady alone." The guard was older and bald, his cheeks dashed with gray stubble. His uniform had seen some use and was hanging off his frame. He looked close to retirement and was probably looking forward to it.

"Aww Henry let me talk to her, after all she does clean my room now." Crane leaned forward to look around the guard at me. "Poor thing looks worked half to death. She needs a good man to take care of her."

"Crane I'm not going to warn you again." Henry pushed him back against the wall of the elevator and put a hand on his baton. "Cafeteria food is a privilege. Another word and your back to cold sandwiches and juice boxes."

The doors opened on the third floor and Henry grabbed Crane's arm leading him out of the elevator. Next thing I knew Henry was bleeding from the nose and Crane had pushed me back up against my cart. He leaned down pressing his forehead against mine and staring deep into my eyes.

"Don't worry about me baby. I'll take care of you from now on." He crushed his lips against mine before he was pulled away and thrown out into the hallway. Henry kicked him in the ribs but before I could react the doors slid closed with a quiet click and I was heading down.

I rushed to the laundry room in a daze and dropped off all the dirty linens. Next I emptied the trash down the chute in the corner. My legs were shaking and I took a moment to hold onto my cart. Why were all the hot ones crazy? I made it to the shower rooms and took a cold shower before putting my street clothes on and punching out for the day. Tomorrow was my day off and I was surely going to need it. I practically ran for the door and out to my car. Looking up at the asylum I felt safe knowing that at least none of them could follow me home.