November 2, 1981:

"Well, now that everything's sorted out..." Albus Dumbledore said, trailing off as the full force of Minerva McGonagall's venomous glare finally bored into him.

"Emergency beer run?" the woman growled, sounding like a cat that had been dropped in the bath and was planning on killing its owner for forcing such an indignity upon it.

"It was an Emergency, and I returned with beer, " Dumbledore said, trying to regain control of the situation from the woman.

"Never mind, that's all in the past." Dumbledore said in a tone of voice that would be cheerful if one ignored the almost maniacally hysterical edge to it. "Now that we're all here, let's get this show on the road.

Elsewhere in England:

"Hang on a sec, I'm trying to figure out what'd be worse. Raising the Harrys or Azkaban..."

"Well, it's obvious that that man who turned into a rat did it. All of the witnesses who heard him yelling about how you're stuck raising someone's brats agree."

"Nope. Nope. I did it. Slap the cuffs on me and throw me in the pokey."

"But, you're innocent!"

"Uh, hold still while I cast a little Crucio at you?"

"Let's just not and say you did."

"Fine by me mate."

Back at Privet Drive:

"Thank God, that's the last of them!" Dumbledore said as one of the Harrys which had wet itself woke up and started to cry, sparking a chain reaction.

"Quick, before they wake up and ask us to start helping!" Dumbledore yelled before vanishing, leaving McGonagall holding the bag.

Not for long however.

"I don't know who I hate more right now" Professor McGonagall said when she finally caught up to Dumbledore. "You, or myself for leaving those poor muggles to their fate."

Two days later:

Dudley was in hell. Every time he poked and prodded one of the strange creatures that had taken over his home, another half dozen would turn around and start poking and prodding him in return, often yanking on his blond hair which was a source of endless fascination for them.

There was no help forthcoming from his parents however, whenever he needed them they were busy.

"Vernon, get him! Quick! He's in the bleach!"

"Christ Petunia! Can't you...?"

"I've got my hands full keeping these two out of the washing machine!"