Author's Chapter Notes:

This is for all of you that have me on your favorites list. I know Growing Pains has been hanging out there for a long time, so I wanted to give you something. This story is over at and I pulled it over for you. :)

This story is AU from the middle of Eclipse, sort of a 'what if' kind of story. Yes, another of those 'Bella has tragic accident' stories, but hopefully you'll enjoy this version of that plotline. Just a warning for all you Team Jacob folks, this story is not for you. I will not paint Jacob as a villian, but this is a Bella and Edward story and will unfold as such.

BPOV

"You sure you don't mind closing tonight, Bella?" Mike asked, trying to hide the excitement behind his words. I shrugged.

"No, Mike. I don't mind. I don't really get sports, but I do appreciate the fact that Forks High is in the playoffs. Go to the game and cheer for the both of us," I said with a genuine smile. Mike whooped and tossed his apron behind the counter. I rolled my eyes as he ran for the office to get his things. I really wouldn't mind the quiet. It was three o'clock on a sunny Sunday in Forks and I should have jealously guarded my time in the sun, but honestly I would welcome the mindless task of stocking the latest shipment of fishing tackle. I couldn't see Edward until later tonight. He was hunting with Jasper and Alice.

I flexed my hand inside the brace wrapped around it and winced. It had only been two days since I'd punched Jacob in the face for daring to kiss me. I had so much to think about, so many things running around in my head. It was making it hard to concentrate on studying for finals, which were this week. I really couldn't afford to fail anything, because not graduating was not an option. Graduation was my ticket into eternal bliss with my beautiful vampire as his equal, and yes heaven forefend, as his wife. Strangely, that title was beginning to grow on me. Granted I was still scared spitless about telling Renee and Charlie, but I had to admit the thought of being Isabella Marie Cullen was starting to sound more like a daydream than a nightmare.

Of course, now I had another nightmare to deal with. Jacob's relentless pursuit of my affections. Yes, he was my best friend. He had saved me from myself during the worst era of my rather short, pathetic life. I would give him almost anything in return for that. Almost anything. I had been burying my head in the sand about Jake's feelings for me since that awful day in the kitchen, right before Alice and I had sped away to catch a flight to Italy. I realized after I'd stopped being such a immature girl about Jacob's stolen kiss that it was my fault that he'd even tried. Somehow, I had given him reason to believe I could ever care for him in a romantic way.

"Stupid, Bella," I muttered to myself as I went to open a box of lures. As I sorted by color and type, I mulled over my feelings for Jake. He was funny and clever, knowing exactly what to say to make me feel good. But he also had a penchant for irritating the hell out of me. He really was immature sometimes, despite the life altering changes he'd been through lately. Those changes had, in a way, turned the tables. It had been Jake that needed comforting, needed me to help bring him out of his darker moods. I felt like I owed him that much.

"And he damn well knows it," I snarled that softly. That was another conclusion I'd come to that night. After hearing Jake and Edward get into a pissing contest about fighting for me, I realized that I had underestimated Jake's willingness to play dirty to try and win my affections from Edward. He would twist my feelings of gratitude towards him, would continue to feed my insecurities about Edward. My Edward, who was under the impression that he, too, needed to fight dirty to keep me. I was annoyed as hell at both of them, but I was more sad than annoyed in Edward's case.

My silly, beautiful vampire was just as insecure about our love as I was. He always expected me to decide he was too dangerous and opt out for a safer, human lover. Or werewolf lover as the case may be. And I still struggled to believe I was enough to hold him with all my human failings, worried that he would decide to leave me again 'for my own good'.

"Well, that stops tonight. I know he loves me enough to die for me and I love him so much I would rather die than be without him. And the only way to prove that is to let Jake go, completely." I clenched a package of squishy yellow worms as I whispered to myself. It hurt to think of cutting all ties to Jacob Black, but in the end it would happen anyway. Once I was turned he would want nothing to do with me. I couldn't stop the welling sense of grief the thought of losing Jake caused me, but it was nothing compared to the aching void created by the thought of losing Edward again. Yes, I would go to La Push one last time before graduation. To say goodbye for good.

Despite the tears running down my cheeks now, I felt lighter. I had made a firm decision and I would see it through. It wasn't that last of the goodbyes I would have to make. But in the end I would spend the rest of eternity trusting Edward to protect me in every possible way, physically, mentally and spiritually. And I would finally be able to protect him, once I was turned. It would be more than enough.

The rest of the afternoon flew by. Luckily I didn't have a customer until long after the tears had dried. I got all of the new inventory stocked and I even reorganized the sleeping bags by size, color and durability. Alice would be proud. I had called Esme, who was my designated babysitter tonight, and told her I would be closing. As much as I hated it, I knew she would be there at six thirty to shadow me home and no doubt waste the evening listening to the almost non-existent dinner conversation between Charlie and I, then the sounds of the game on TV. Edward had promised to be home by ten, so I was planning to cram for my finals tomorrow until then.

When six o'clock rolled around, I breathed a sigh of relief and flipped the sign on the door to 'closed'. Then I quickly counted down the register and made the rounds of the store, turning off displays. I groaned when I realized that Mike had decided to go all out for the lantern display. He had even lit one of the slow burning kerosene lamps. I grimaced and started down the aisle to put it out when I did something so completely Bella. I tripped. For a split second, I was proud because I managed to catch myself. On the lantern display. Then I gasped in horror as the entire display came crashing to the floor around me. The sound of breaking glass and the smell of burning kerosene registered first, and my first thought was to find a fire extinguisher. Fast.

And then I felt the heat licking up my legs and I looked down to see that my kerosene soaked denim jeans were on fire. As was the puddle of kerosene under my feet. I screamed, throwing myself backwards, away from the flames. I fell, hard, and I screamed again, Edward's name ripped from my throat in my panic just before my head bounced off the floor and my world exploded into darkness.