DISKLAIMER: neither n. molesworth nor h. potter belong to me chiz.

i, nigel molesworth, gorila of 3b and hero hem-hem of this peice, am stroling down main skool corridor one evening after prep when i encounter my grate freind peason clutching a mitey TOME.

"Wot is this?" i sa. "you, peason, reading a book? does the thrill of dab cricket pall? hav you run out of tineys to tuough up? is yore nintendo broken?"

"really molesworth one sometimes yore iggnorance astound me," sa the weed. "This is the grate book hary Potter and the philopfer's stone, by a lade author called ms J. k. rowling. Everybode luv this book, from junior ticks to GRABBER, head of skool and winner of the mrs joyful prize for rafia work. even headmaster GRIMES hav been seen chuckling over hary's adventures wile taking deten."

This is enuff for me. i take the BOOK from his feeble hands and retire to the dorm with my trusty torch and a suply of burbon Creams.

From the first page, i am griped by ms rowling's tale. it is better than cowboys and injuns or even dan dare and digby versus the feindish MEKON. hary, our fearless hero, start off in a bit of a fix, viz. his parents are dead and his nasty aunt and uncle make him slepe in a cupbord. But then hairy HAGRID come by on his magic motorbike zoom zoosh and wisk him off to hoggwarts skool for WITCHCRAFT and wizzardry to be an aprentice wizzard cheers cheers cheers.

hoggwarts is a super skool where they diskard wet and weedy muggle subjekts such as fr. lat. geog. ect. and insted learn to make potions and LEVITATE. Rather than foopball the eager students pla QUIDDITCH and fli about on broomsticks wizz, and to everybode's grate surprise hary turn out to be a natural Seker so in some respekts the skool story hav not changed.

There is also a baddy in the shape of lord VOLDEMORT, an evil wizzard who want to kill pore hary, three BULIES called malfoy, crab and goyl and a DRAGON. All in all it is much like my dere alma mater st custards only more xciting and with better food.

By now we hav herd the chimes at midnite (shakspere) and the dorm is filled with the swete snores of my fellow inmates. i am longing to find out how hary, ron and hermoine unmask the villan but the book slip from my weary grasp and suddenly i am aslepe and having a most peculiar DREME...