Well hey there! It's that time again; MOTRT spinoff time! :D

On that note, while it doesn't really matter, the chronological order for the series is;

Misadventures of the RED Team, then 2, then Dare Games and Base Repairs!

Not necessary to read them all, just a few references you might miss :p

Anyhow, I don't own TF2 or Portal, those awesome things are Valve's :)

Chapter One - Not Again!

~?~

For the RED Demoman, it was all too common an occurrence to wake up with a throbbing headache and no recollection of where he was. An impossibly infinite supply of scrumpy made sure of this.

This particular time however, something seemed… astray, even.

The Demoman put a thinking hat on (because mercs truly obsessed over hats) to ponder it out. Fortunately the answer quickly clonked his forehead;

"Oh! This ain't the base…" he observed, finding himself instead in a room built of countless dull white panels. Nevertheless he did actually try to count them.

The Demoman gave up on that endeavour after 'two' in order to have a wee look around. Yup, that was the problem; not only were the memories of last night worse-than-hazy, but he still didn't know where he was.

Still, with Demo's childish curiosity he could be easily distracted from potential crisis by, say, a spiffy-looking device on a stand in the centre of the room.

He ran – yes, ran like a kid to cake – and grabbed the contraption with reckless abandon. The Demoman's very first action was to stare directly into the end of the device.

"ARGH GOD! CANNAE BE UNSEEN!" the cyclops screeched, smacking his head on the ground in a fool's attempt to forget.

When that didn't work he shrugged aloofly and turned the device around, hopefully the correct way. He experimentally adjusted his grip and jumped in PURE TERROR as blue light shot from the end.

Recovering (and checking he still had a pulse) the Demoman mused how he must have hit some kind of trigger. Then of course he saw the wall.

"…What in the Hell's that?" he asked nobody in particular. A swirling blue oval of arcane light now chilled out on the panels. Demo managed to put two and two together. And got eight. "A wizard must've done it!" the merc concluded, accidently pulling the trigger again.

The RED watched as an orange… hm, portal, he would call it, appeared beside the blue. He noted how both portals were now open, and approached cautiously.

Much less cautiously he stuck an arm in one portal and somehow succeeded in giving his own arse a right hook. Ow.

Falling over and cursing with every cuss word in the book, the Demoman decided to hath vengeance.

"IT'S ON!" he yelled, challenging the portal to a duel and launching himself at the orange one. In a highly mysterious kind of way, he flew through it and landed prone, skidding a couple of inches.

Instinctively he spam called for Medic, only to remember he was alone.

Now, being alone was all fine and well, but Demo didn't really fancy it; he needed a way out. For the first time since waking up the Demoman noticed that one of the four walls surrounding him didn't reach the panel-y roof.

Panel-y is a totally legit adjective.

Anyway, this pretty much screamed 'Escape this way bro' so he got to it. Ordinarily the merc would sticky jump epic-style to the gap, yet alas his sole 'weapon' was this portal gun.

The Demoman scoffed internally; as if a portal gun could get him anywhere! Madness.

In fact the RED moved to toss the device over one shoulder, when he accidently fired it again. He watched, puzzled, as the blue portal disappeared from beside him.

With the adrenaline rush most humans get playing hide and seek, Demoman searched gleefully for his portal. Yeah, his portal. Boom.

Uh, anyhow, he soon found it- through the gap in the wall, it sat on another wall. Finally applying a little cleverness to the situation, the horrifyingly-sober mercenary scampered to his orange portal. Standing a good five feet away, he leaned precariously forward until his head peeked through the circle.

GREAT ADMINISTRATOR IN THE SKY IT WAS A DIFFERENT ROOM.

Before he could choose if he wanted to go in or not he stumbled on through anyway. Regaining his composure the Demoman surveyed the new area.

Panel-y and dim as ever it was little improvement over the old one, though there were a few extra features. Primarily the door. There- like, was a door. Also a cube. And a rather tempting button.

"Eh, what's the worst that could happen!?" Demo shrugged hugely. He hopped onto the red button and felt it sink into the floor.

Accompanied by a metallic clang, the door slid open, though it immediately slammed shut as the Demoman stepped off the switch. Ohnoes!

Experimentally, he nudged the button down with one foot and tried to awkwardly shuffle toward the open door. No prizes for guessing how that went.

"I WILL get through this door!" the Demoman vowed, showing signs of a seriousness nobody gave him credit for.

Oh, and then he got an idea; a simply splendiferous idea.

He glanced to the cube. He looked to the button. His gaze crept back to the cube. Returned to the button. Back, forth, back, forth- THAT'S IT!

He popped a portal on the roof and dived into the one on the wall, landing on the button with all the force of the fall.

The merc promptly bounced off and crashed, flailing, into the door. Well then.

Demoman cracked his neck- time to do something REAL crazy. In slow motion, bagpipes playing and pigeons flying (only Medic gets doves), he strode to the cube.

He nearly hesitated; surely this mad scheme couldn't work!

"IT HAS TAE WORK!" Demo yelled, snatching up the cube and hurling the poor thing onto the button. Huzzah! The door snapped open!

The Demoman had little time to celebrate though, as a high pitched beep sounded overhead;

"Oh, finally," a female voice sighed, "I was starting to think you were the worst test subject ever. You probably are though."

Demo scanned the walls, spotting a camera staring at him. He turned to face it;

"Test subject?" he repeated, arching an eyebrow. The overhead voice chuckled a bit,

"You signed up you and your team of morons for testing," she explained, "you were drunk at the time. Frankly it was hilarious. You just kept falling over," she added fondly.

The Demoman narrowed his eye;

"Know what? Y'remind me a' someone. Yer voice sounds familiar…" The camera shook violently from side-to-side.

"No, no, I can't think where YOU of all people would- could've heard me… No." Demoman opted to just drop it. "Anyway," the voice went on, "now that you're acquainted with the portal device, head through the door to finish your test."

The Demoman realised he still held the portal gun and resisted the urge to further mess with it, instead plodding out of the room. He paused in the doorway.

"That's really the whole test?" The voice considered, adopting an air of aloofness,

"Well, you were signed to the next portion too, but I'll leave that for your sole smart teammate. Goodbye."

The Demoman suddenly found himself portal gun-less in the limbo of respawn.

Oh Mann, this is gonna be fun