Fifty First Dates

a series of NorbertxTreeflower Angry Beaver vignettes

by Save Fearow

Author's Note: I'm with Norb, I prefer Treeflower's debut personality. However, I think it's incredibly sweet the extents Mr. Ego Beaver will go to for a woman who in all likelihood has an emotional disorder that underlies her excessive personality changes. If that doesn't prove Norb has a hidden heart of gold, I don't know what does.

1. Ring

She got him a mood ring, not long after she'd stopped being a hippie. But because she sent it to him through the mail, and he wore it in Dag's presence, the ring remained a sullen, angry black for weeks. When she finally returned for another visit, he agonized over giving the defective piece of jewelry back to her. "Oh, look! Your ring is a blue-violet color!" she exclaimed, as soon as they embraced. "That means you're calm, happy, AND you're thinking about romance." she giggled.

2. Hero

Daggett didn't understand why Baron Von Bad Beaver kept changing sides. He couldn't fathom the role Goody Good Gal played in the reversal. If Norb couldn't be Treeflower's hero, he wasn't going to be heroic for anyone at all.

3. Memory

The first time he saw her, she was the guitarist and lead singer for The Friendly Chartreuse Bubblegum Machine. Everything about her was perfection, from the tip of her headband, to the sparkle off her sunglasses, to the swirl of her technicolor tail. Her still remembered the way she was back then, and kept a steady supply of jalapenos in case -that- Treeflower ever returned.

4. Box

Everything had to be perfect for Arbor Day. Norbert had bought another tambourine, decorated it in a pink-and-green color scheme, and very carefully engraved Treeflower's name onto the instrument. Now all he had left to do was wrap it and send it off in the mail. Which was easier said than done, when you had a roommate like Dag. "Hey Norby. Hey Norby. Hey Norby." Daggett had been poking and prodding him all day.

Norb's reading glasses slipped further down his nose, as he gave a final tug on the pink ribbon. Now that the box was perfect, he could answer his brother. "What is it, Daggy-o?" he snapped.

"How come you're sending Treeflower an empty box, instead of the present you got her?" Dag wondered.

Norb looked down in horror and saw the tambourine was indeed outside the packaging. "Aw, spoot." he muttered as he unwrapped the gift box, and painstakingly started over.

5. Run

Everyone competed in Wayouttatown, Oregon's annual 'Run For Fun' Marathon. Treeflower was the first-place finisher, but Norb surprised everyone by being runner-up.

"Wow. To hear Daggett talk, you'd think that you were a total slob, who just spent all day lounging in front of a TV, barking orders at him. I had no idea you were in such excellent shape, Norbert, it's kind of attractive." Treeflower admitted.

He -should- be a great runner by now. He spent every night chasing after Treeflower in his dreams.

6. Hurricane

In her own way, Treeflower was like a hurricane. She came barreling into his life unannounced, threw everything out of alignment, changed her plans according to some unimaginable, vicarious whims and left behind a trail of devastation, destruction, and broken hearts in her wake. But when she was with Norbert, just the two of them, singing and dancing, laughing and reminiscing, she was the eye of the storm and a true vision of loveliness.

7. Wings

"Muscular Beaver can fly because he's a superhero." Daggett informed his skeptical brother.

"How does he fly without wings? It's inconceivable!" Norbert retorted.

Daggett's face fell. "You keep using that word..." he persisted.

"Because I'm right!" Norbert snapped and walked away.

The next summer he met Treeflower for the first time, and understood what Dag had known all along. Some beavers really could make you feel as though you were flying.

8. Cold

They saw a hockey match together one winter's day. She didn't seem warm enough in her snowsuit, so Norb offered her his hat, scarf, and mittens. She put them on gratefully, but had to wonder about Norb's own comfort. "Aren't you cold?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Not even the sleigh-tist. Everyone always says I'm hot-blooded, very thick-skinned, it would never bother me- ahchoo!" Norb sneezed. She rolled her eyes, but gave him a hanky in return.

9. Red

He didn't like the color red. It was too bold, too flashy, too much like his spooty brother's bulbous nose. Although he swore up and down that it looked cute on his mother and younger sister, Chelsea. Girls were awfully touchy about certain subjects, and if a brother didn't cotton on to the facts quickly enough, he didn't last long enough to build his own dam.

Treeflower came striding into the room, wearing a bright scarlet evening gown. "What do you think, Norby?" she asked.

Norbert whistled. "I think I just found a new favorite color." he informed her.

10. Drink

Norbert wished he hadn't had so many glasses of water while waiting for Treeflower to arrive. But he was so nervous, and their every moment at the fancy restaurant had to be magical! By the time she finally did show up for the reservation (exactly 1 hr and 14 minutes late, by his watch) Norbert really and truly HAD to go.

"Treeflower, you look lovely as always. I really, really, really, want to hear all about your brand-new vocation and the subsequent effect it had on your pair-so-nal life, but just for this moment I must be leaving you!" he blurted out as he ran for the bathroom.

Treeflower grinned. Now that she was a substitute elementary school teacher, she understood a lot more about Norb's psyche. She was going to tell him all about it, just as soon as he got back from the little beaver's room, and removed the toilet paper that was stuck to his shoe.

11. Midnight

"Why did Cinderella run away from the Prince? I thought they were in love!" Stacy complained.

"So did I." Norb muttered morosely.

"She didn't even care that she left her slipper behind. Girl's got no sense of priorities." Chelsea admonished.

"Maybe she did it deliberately." Norb offered. "Because she was flighty, and a little bit afraid of the pow-ar of her own feelings. But still she wanted to give the Prince a chance to come find her."

"Did they get together? Were they happy ever after?" both girls asked excitedly.

"Ab-so-lute-menty." Norb promised. "When you're in a fairy tale, these things always work out. Sometimes the Prince really has to push for it, though."

12. Tempation

Norbert -knew- he wasn't always the best brother. He did try to treat his sisters with more kindness. It helped that they were smaller and more vulnerable than Dag had ever seemed. But he would never share the girls' passion for Norxa the Thick-Ankled Warrior, and considered Trick-Or-Treating with the twins an embarrassment. After he heard Treeflower compliment him on being such a good care-giver, he used his own savings to buy Stacy and Chelsea EACH a Lickety-Split Log. He even offered to pay the subsequent dental bills.

13. View

They were playing Pictionary. Norbert's word was 'beautiful' so of course, he drew a very accurate sketch of Treeflower. His partner, Daggett, seemed to miss the clue entirely.

"Girl. Beaver. Spoot-head. Sidekick. Heroine. Girl. Norb's crush. Dumped? Beaver. Brown. Treeflower. No-likey Norbert. Girl. New powers as the plot demands. Cartoon? Beaver." Daggett keep guessing incorrectly.

Time was running out. Frustrated, Norbert added a fishing lure to the image.

"Beautiful!" Daggett proclaimed. "I got it in one, eh Norby-orby?"

14. Music

Hearing Treeflower talk was like listening to a song. A slow, romantic ballad that segued into a hard-rock anthem, followed by classical jazz, then a nursery rhyme, leading into a screaming punk classic, then a clever alt-rock update of a doo-wop standard, counter-balanced by the 12-bar blues. Most of the time he loved her for it. Every now and then he really wished her brain wasn't stuck on "shuffle/repeat".

15. Silk

Daggett was comfortable wearing the same thing every night, and if it were up to him, the pajamas would get so dirty, you'd be convinced the owner suffered from a perpetual case of 'Stinky Toe'. Norbert wasn't like that. He took his yellow-and-pink night shirt and pants down to the Laundromat every week without fail. This time, he noticed that the previous patron had left their clothes in the dryer. Ordinarily he would have let them be, but he wanted to get back to the dam before Dag made a complete shambles out of it. His brother's musk had come back recently, and if Norb didn't watch him like a hawk, he might lay claim to the new limited-edition El Grapadura action figure.

Norbert very carefully folded the forgotten clothes. They were soft, and feminine, and came in a variety of shapes, styles, and colors. Whoever had used the dryer before was probly doing the wash for her entire dorm. His paws rested on the final item, a pair of delicate, black panties trimmed in lace.

"I knew I forgot something! Thanks for finishing up for me, Norby!" Treeflower called out as she swooped in to pick up her clothes. Norbert was still standing there, wide-eyed with shock, 4 hrs later when the owner told him to get lost, they were about to close.

16. Cover

Norbert glared at the TV. "This stinks." he announced as he hit the 'Off' button.

"Turn it back! We're missing the Idol auditions!" Daggett wailed.

"I don't care. I won't vote for ANYBODY who would dare do a cover of one The Friendly Chartreuse Bubblegum Machine's hits." he vowed.

"Truckee's got a good singing voice." admitted Dag. "I still hate him, though."

17. Promise

Their wedding was a small affair. He'd planned a MUCH swankier event, but Daggett got them all banned from the church. He really didn't want to hear how Truckee had tricked Dag into setting those crosses on fire, and Barry would not stop growling at the guy. It got to the point where Norb had to appoint Bing the new ring-bearer at the last minute, and demote Dag to usher. It was still a lovely ceremony because Treeflower finally promised him "I do."

18. Dream

Sometimes he worried that Treeflower was a little too perfect, an obtainable beauty. It seemed unlikely that someone like that would ever meet, let alone go out with, a beaver like him. On his worst days he worried that Treeflower was only a figment of his imagination, that his very reality had been conjured for the amusement of others, and that life would forever toy with him, introducing Treeflower and then taking her away before they could ever consummate their love.

He only mentioned this fear to Daggett ONCE, but he knew it was a mistake. He could still hear his brother's laughter weeks later.

19. Candle

Treeflower had left again, but she suggested he light a candle for her, and keep it burning until she returned from her parkour training in Bangladesh, and the rodeo in Texas, and the archeological dig outside Cairo, and the wine-tasting in Naples, and the Olympic ski trial...

By the time she came back to Wayouttatown, Oregon she'd forgotten all about the candles. She didn't understand why the tips of Norbert's paws were burned, or why his fur smelled faintly of wax.

20. Talent

Treeflower was brilliant. She could write songs, extinguish wildfires, save an entire city from a catastrophe, drive a stick-shift, run a hair salon, be an anchorwoman, star in a rodeo, work as an expert tracker AND vision guide on a Native American reservation, prank the boy she almost-sort-of-liked without getting caught, dance backwards and in high heels, and tell the greatest horror stories of anyone in the group. But there was only one talent she had that Daggett ever appreciated. No matter what Treeflower did, she could always get Norbert to shut up.

21. Silence

"We don't communicate any more, Norbert." Treeflower sadly exclaimed. "It makes me wonder if we should see other animals."

Norbert shook his head, and gestured frantically. "Please don't try to change my mind, Norb. It's for the best. I want us to remember the good times and not end it with a shouting match. Can you do that for me, Norb? It's my final request." she insisted.

Norbert nodded very slowly. A single tear trickled down his face. "Good. I'm glad we had this talk. Maybe I'll come back sometime, when you've had a chance to think it over." she allowed.

Norbert favored her with a tentative smile. "Goodbye, Norbert. Farewell." Treeflower waved to him as she walked off, and blew him a little kiss.

Norbert pretended to catch the kiss, and his grin widened. Daggett stuck his head out one of the dam's windows. "Hey Spoot-head. Does she know you have laryngitis today?" hollered Dag.

22. Journey

When he was 20 months old, Norbert took his first steps. He did it to get away from Dag, who continued to crawl along the ground for another 4 months. When he was 5 he started school. It took him 3 weeks to decide he hated it, and another 3 weeks to plan to drop out entirely. It took his mother 1 day and 5 separate lectures on the value of hard work to change his mind.

When he was 8, he saw his first B-movie. His father had fallen asleep on the couch, and left the TV on. During a commercial break, he'd wandered into the bedroom to wake up Dag, and drag his brother back to the living room. It took 10 days for Dag to stop having nightmares, and an additional week for their mother to un-ground Norbert. He wanted to punch Dag for the sheer unfairness of his punishment, but his brother revealed that he'd sent away for both of them to become members of Oxnard Montalvo's Fan Club. It was the first time Daggett had ever spent money wisely.

When he was 18, their parents had another set of children, twin girls. They were kicked out of the dam and forced to build their own home. Daggett made almost every day a non-stop stream of embarrassment for Norb. Most days, he despaired that their new neighbors would never find them cool.

When he was 19, Treeflower's band came to Wayouttatown, Oregon and he helped sneak them on-stage for their first ever concert. She kissed him and he forgot everything else he'd ever done up until that point. It was if his life had only truly started from that day forward.

23. Fire

Treeflower possessed an altruistic streak in most of her incarnations. Why else would she come to his father, Leonard's, rescue as a fire-fighter? It made Norbert regret unplugging the toaster whenever he left Daggett alone in the dam. If he'd known she'd come running, he would have bought enough propane to keep a hundred rednecks happy, set fire to their home, and watched the world burn.

24. Strength

A beaver's strength was constantly tested. There was a physical strength required to build and maintain the dam. He needed to chew constantly to keep from getting long in the tooth, and practice swimming and diving to be ready at a moment's notice to plunge into the water. There was an inner strength too, that he relied on to keep from punching Daggett into last week, to listen to yet another one of Barry's jive-talking old records, to allow himself to put up with Bing's clingyness for any length of time.

But the real test of strength came when he saw Treeflower sitting next to Truckee, laughing uproariously and petting the ugly rodent on the ears! Norbert's fists kept clenching and un-clenching, seemingly of their own volition. He didn't know how long he could watch them, but he also couldn't bring himself to look away. He had never wanted to find out how much strength it would take to keep a heart from breaking.

25. Mask

Baron Von Bad Beaver wasn't the only costume Norbert wore, although secretly it was the one he most enjoyed. (When else would he get the chance to show off his underwear on the outside?) The other mask he wore was one he'd possessed for so long, he wasn't sure he could ever remove it completely. That was the mask of a hipster beaver, the aloof big brother who could do no wrong, even as he deliberately mispronounced words like "cham-paggin" and swaggered around the dam talking up his good points while systemically belittling everything Daggett did. That was Norbert's default mask, and he wasn't sure he could function without it. He wasn't sure the others would want him to, either. (Even Daggett, who freely admitted that he liked having a jerk for a brother.) He still thought about dropping the Norbert persona around Treeflower, though. She might like a beaver who cooked, cleaned, and happily shared ALL his possessions with his family. He never asked her about it, however, he was too afraid that she would learn to love 'Troy' more than she loved him.

26. Ice

Treeflower -never- liked Dag so he was understandably confused when she spent an entire day helping the little twerp play superhero. It was enough to drive a beaver to resurrect Baron Once Bad Then Good Now Bad Again Beaver. His scheme totally would have swept Treeflower off her feet, if he hadn't crashed through the ice first. But when she kissed him goodbye and whispered "Feel better, Norby" he forgot all about his fever and stuffy nose. (He still wasn't able to forgive Dag's involvement entirely, but he came close.)

27. Fall

"One beaver can't do everything all by herself." Norbert noted, as he hauled the luggage into her room.

"I can too!" Treeflower insisted. "I've always made it my own way, and I don't need your help Norby. So just put down my suitcases and leave!"

Norb sighed. "Let me do one more thing, then I'll go." he offered. He swiped a permanent marker off her living room table, got down on one knee, and very carefully wrote a message on Treeflower's leg cast. She scowled at him the whole time, and wouldn't even look at the signature until after he'd gone away. 'Treeflower. She can do anything. Love, Norb' the message read.

28. Forgotten

"I knew you wouldn't run away." Norbert insisted.

"I dreamed that I did though! But I knew something was wrong, when I went to YOUR hair salon, and you called me 'strange beaver who I've never met before'..." began Dag.

"Huh. That sounds like something I -would- say." Norb admitted.

"That's not the half of it! What really got to me was the way Treeflower was in love with you! What a spooty dream! That could never hap-OUCH!" Dag rubbed his forehead tenderly. "What didja hit me for?" he wondered. Norb didn't answer him. Some things were best forgotten.

29. Dance

"And we danced like a wave on the ocean, romanced

we were liars in love and we danced

swept away for a moment by chance

and we danced, danced, danced..." Barry crooned. It was the only song Norb had requested for the entire party, but it was the one that got Treeflower shaking her tail on the dance floor, gyrating right alongside Norbert.

30. Body

He never used to agree with his father on anything, Leonard's tastes tended towards the dorky or the bizarre. But he did admit the old man was right about one thing, brunettes were unquestionably the most attractive women. Throughout the years, her hair color was the one thing Treeflower never changed, and the only one he would protest if she ever did.

31. Sacred

"I'm sorry, Norb. I just can't think of anything else we can do today, while we're snowed in. Only a moron would try braving the storm." Treeflower acknowledged.

"That's why I've got Daggett on a leash." Norbert revealed.

From his spot, chained to Norbert's side, Dag grumbled. "You're a spoot-headed goo-goo eyed know-nothing fun-hating spoot-headed, did I say that one already?, bossy big brother!"

Norbert pointedly ignored him. "Let's watch a mov-ay. Here, Treeflower, you hold the remote." Norbert offered. Daggett let out a gasp, and fainted from the sight of Norb demonstrating some selfless act.

32. Farewells

Norbert understood the importance of farewells. If he had never said farewell to his parents, he would never have moved into his own home. If he had never said farewell to those annoying scientists, he would never have learned Daggett had cured 'Stinky Toe'. If he'd never said farewell to his dream of becoming a Lippizanner stallion, he would never have discovered that Daggett could be sympathetic and even inspiring. If he'd never said farewell to Treeflower, then he would never have her return visits to look forward too. That was why whenever she said goodbye, he said hello.

33. World

When Treeflower become a geisha girl, he sent away for a correspondence course in Nihongo, learned to write proficiently in katakana and hiragana (as well as being able to recognize kanji and romanji for certain situations), redecorated the dam with hundreds of origami cranes, jumping frogs, rabbits, and tigers, and even dabbled in ikebana (despite being allergic to some of the plants they recommended). By the time he'd mastered these skills, Treeflower had joined a nunnery.

34. Formal

Norbert prided himself on looking snazzy for all special occassions. Now that Treeflower was pursuing her newest ambition as a grand thespian on the Broadway stage, he wanted to be there for her premiere. He was dressed to the nines, resplendent in a purple tuxedo jacket, white satin shirt, a dark purple bow tie, plum pin-striped pants, and freshly-polished black shoes.

"Looky, looky, look over here Norb-o-bo-bo!" Daggett squealed. "I just borrowed this electric nostril-trimmer from Dad, eh, whaddya think would happen if I turned it on?"
"DAGGETT NO!" Norb roared but his careless brother wasn't listening. He flipped on the device, lost control of it immediately, and shaved off half the fur on Norbert's right side.

The night of Treelower's big premiere, Norb looked resplendent in a purple tuxedo jacket, white satin shirt, a dark purple bow tie, plum pin-striped pants, black shoes, and a floppy pink beret. Daggett sat next to him, still sporting a black eye.

35. Fever

Treeflower was calling to him. He ran across a burning bridge, jumped through a series of flaming hoops, and slew a fire-breathing dragon just to reach her. "Norb, you are the sweetest guy ever. I think I like you." she giggled, as she traced a heart-shape across his chest.

When Norbert woke up, red-faced and moaning, his sheets were soaked through. "Wow Norb, you must have had once heck of a nightmare, eh?" Dag observed.

36. Laugh

It surprised him to hear Treeflower admit that she didn't like her laugh. It was something she couldn't change, although she had tried many times. She was practically in tears when she finally told him how self-conscious it always made her feel.

"You have the most beautiful laugh in the world." Norbert insisted. "It's something that makes you uniquely you. If you don't believe me, let's go find Dag and push him in the mud. Once you've heard him snorting like a pig, you can't help but feel better about yourself in comparison."

Treeflower clapped her hands over her face, but Norb could hear her laughing, all the way to the dam.

37. Lies

He asked her once if those sunglasses she wore sometimes were prescription. She responded with a "No." When she asked him if he really needed those reading glasses, he told her the same. When Daggett tried to call him out on the lie (complete with photographic evidence of Norbert failing an eye exam, being mocked by the popular kids, having a driver's license that noted a need for corrective lenses, and posing awkwardly next to their dad alongside a 'Like Father, Like Son' caption) Norbert smacked him so hard the unfortunate brother developed damnesia. He waited until AFTER Treeflower left before he even attempted to restore Dag's memories.

38. Forever

Daggett always wanted things to last forever. Each movie marathon had to be endless, with the beaver brothers staying up all night. Each argument had to continue long after the participants had forgotten their original grievances. Each style was timeless, no matter how few of their neighbors still wore bell-bottoms, platform shoes, or styled their fur into an afro. Each fandom was something you could NOT ever outgrow despite peer pressure and the constant threat from worried parents that you really ought to consider therapy.

Norbert didn't believe in forever. He just wanted Treeflower to stay a little longer with every visit, until the gradually-increasing increments they spent together added up to a lifetime.

39. Overwhelmed

"Hellooo~, earth to Norbert, come in Norbert! Ground Base to Spoot Patrol, we have a problem, eh!" Daggett yelled in his brother's face.

Norbert didn't even flinch. "She left me Dag." he nearly choked on the words.

Daggett remained dismissive. "Of course she left you, she's always gonna leave you. She dumped you, remember?" Dag pointed out.

Norbert still couldn't process this information. "Why? Why am I so terrible that no one wants to be around me?" Norbert whispered. "I just want what everyone else does. I want to be loved."

"Hey, hey, no tears now. I- I am sometimes willing to tolerate your presence." Daggett tried to reassure him. "Every once in awhile, I might even be persuaded to enjoy it, honest! Not very often, mind you, but I can put up with alot. Dag's a big boy."

Norbert shook his head. "There's alot that can be said about you, Dag. Most of what I do say, it's pretty awful. But I think you should know, I would not ever want you to feel this low." Norb allowed.

"Eh, don't sweat it. Angel Eyes LOVES me. We got a good thing going, Norby-orby!" Dag happily announced.

40. Whisper

"What do you think about Norbert? I mean really think about Norbert?" Bing asked Treeflower. He checked the written instructions on his hands once more, just to be certain he'd gotten it right. "Smile and wait politely." he finished.

Treeflower seemed a little pensive. "Norby? Let me think about it. He's kind of a goof, don't you agree?" Treeflower stated.

Bing shrugged. "I don't know. There wasn't time to write instructions for you response. I'm still smiling, though!" he announced.

From his vantage spot, outside the little tavern, Norbert smacked a paw in frustration.

"I'm not sure how much longer -I- can keep smiling, if Norbert is just going to let his friends play match-maker and won't even come inside." she huffed.

Norbert ran to her. He knocked Bing over in his haste, but at least this time he had the grace to apologize to the hapless lizard.

41. Wait

Of course he could handle this. He'd spent years waiting for Treeflower to return his affections, he could spend a day pacing in the hospital, no problem. He'd worn a perfect circular groove through the tile by the time the doctor approached Norb. "They're twins." he said simply. Norbert nodded, trying to play it cool, but he passed out before he learned his babies' genders.

42. Talk

One time he even sought his mother's advice. Norbert asked a very leading question about her first date with Leonard. The long, unwieldy story that resulted horrified him with its mentions of toe-picking, snoring, and the use of shoelaces for dental floss. He fervently hoped he could do better. The next time Treeflower came to visit, he greeted her with a gift-wrapped toothbrush and a smile.

43. Search

He didn't know what he was looking for that day. He had just wanted to find out what was causing all that racket around the dam. He might not even have pursued it if Daggett hadn't been so vocal in his complaints. That security guard didn't look like a push-over, and no concert was worth repeated poundings. At least, that was what he thought until he saw that psychedelic van, and the little brunette singer behind the wheel. When she told him how badly the group longed to perform on stage, he lead them underwater so they could circumvent the security systems. He didn't know what possessed him to grab the microphone, proclaim it was now a free concert, and even go on to praise his brother once Daggett stumbled onto stage. All he knew for sure was that he'd found the most wonderful girl in the universe and he didn't plan on losing her, ever.

44. Hope

Their love wasn't like any he ever knew. It wasn't like his parents' love, they would squabble sometimes, then lock the bedroom door and tell the kids "Quiet Time Starts Now" (although they were NEVER quiet themselves, and the flexible length of Quiet Time meant Norbert sometimes had to spend an entire week trying to corral a fussy brother into participating in some normal, basic acts of hygiene.) It wasn't like the love in Oxnard Montalvo's movies, where the lead girl jumped into the hero's arms, kissed him passionately, then tried to eat his brain and got her own blasted off with a shot-gun. It wasn't like the love Barry sang about which was graphic and physical, but also lonely and impersonal, just a means to the end. It wasn't like the love in comic books, where the heroine was too dumb to realize that the masked beaver and her nerdy co-worker were one and the same, even though the two never, ever appeared in a panel together.

It was a love that was short and sweet, long and bitter, full of contradictions and revelations, 2 beavers passing through the night, trying to sort out what they wanted to do, who they wanted to do it with, and what they would do once they got it (hopefully they would just do it all again, but with less sad moments interspersed among their bliss.)

45. Eclipse

Everyone knew how much Norbert liked being the center of attention. Not everyone realized how much Daggett liked orbiting him, feeding off his brother's reactions. When Norbert was happy, Daggett liked to siphon a little of that happiness off for himself. When Norbert was angry, Daggett was proud because he knew he was usually the one responsible for THAT emotion, and his mother had once told him that hate was only the flip side of love. Daggett wasn't entirely sure what that meant, beyond that he loved pushing Norbert's buttons. It was so much fun to see him try to keep calm only to go flying off the handle over very "mi-noot" details at Norb was wont to call them. Like drawing a beard on every photograph of Treeflower, and even adding eye-patches, devil horns, and fangs to some of them. It was a harmless little prank, he certainly didn't deserve to be shoved into a straight-jacket and hung from a ceiling fan for that joke. It was all Treeflower's fault anyway, she NEVER should have eclipsed him in Norbert's life.

46. Gravity

Norbert had looked for Treeflower all over town, but never had any luck encountering her. Daggett, meanwhile had actually seen her by the bait shop, conversing with Truckee. When questioned by his elder brother, Daggett casually mentioned that Treeflower and Truckee shopped together, and were pleased they had gotten their licenses. He never specified that they were fishing licenses, but he couldn't be blamed if Norbert jumped to a wrong conclusion, right?

Dag didn't rethink his stance, until after he saw Norbert dragging an anchor across the pond. He still wasn't sure why he dove in after Norb, and chewed through the chains. Maybe he just wasn't ready to be the big brother in the family.

47. Highway

Truckee was often at work, riding out another long haul. There were lots of accidents that could happen along the highway. He could pick up a homicidal hitch-hiker. His rig could roll over and burst into flames. He could run out of diesel in the middle of nowhere, stagger through the desert, and ultimately be pecked alive by vultures. A ghost car could come to life, decide it had a grudge against Truckee, and run him down. There was even a slim chance that Truckee could be caught in the middle of a zombie apocalypse and the un-dead could break through his windshield just to get at his chewy brains.

Norbert always read the obituaries in the daily newspaper, although he never mentioned what exactly he was hoping to find there.

48. Unknown

Norbert never knew what to expect from Treeflower. He did try to at least develop a few contingency plans. Today he was prepared to go bowling, or ride a mountain-bike, or enter a chili cook-off, or crochet her a sweater, or join the Baker Street Irregulars in their discussion of official Sherlock Holmes mysteries.

"Hey, Norbert. I was thinking we could just hold hands and watch clouds together, wouldn't that be righteous?" Treeflower asked, as she handed him a daisy chain.

Norb immediately ran back to his room, and dug out his beloved Nehru jacket. "I'd like that. I really would." he confessed. That afternoon was the best he'd ever known.

49. Lock

"It's a very nice car, Norbert." Treeflower told him.

"Thank you." Norbert's chest swelled with pride.

"So, why haven't you offered to drive me anyplace yet?" she questioned.

Norbert fidgeted. "Isn't it something to just stare at it's mag-nay-fa-sance? 2 headlights, 4 tires, a trunk, fabulous fins, a little antenna, fuzzy dice in the mirror, this is the kind of dragster a fellow could look at ALL DAY as long as he had the right, gorgeous girl by his side. I don't see how it could get any better than that!" he professed.

"Mmm-hmm. You locked the keys in the ignition, didn't you?" Treeflower deduced. She removed one of her floral earrings and with a practiced flick of her wrist, jimmied the lock open. "Hop in, Romeo. Let's cruise."

50. Breathe

"You know about girls, right Norb?" Daggett asked in all earnestness.

"More than YOU'LL ever know, little bro." Norbert answered smugly.

"The thing is, Angel Eyes and me, we've got this anniversary coming up, and I wasn't sure, but is that a good time to kiss her?" wondered Dag. "How wouldcha do that, anyway?"

Norbert rolled his eyes. "Kissing is one of the most natural things you can do with a girl. Just check that you don't have something stuck in your teeth, close your eyes, pucker up, and give her a biiig smooch." Norbert suggested. "And try not to get the hook stuck in your lips. I'm just throwing that one out there for your sake."

Daggett nodded vigorously. "Close eyes, pucker up, got it!" he squinted his eyes shut and thrust out his lips. Norbert watched his brother for a few minutes, until Daggett's cheeks began to turn blue.

Norbert sighed. "Congratulations. I assumed it went without saying, but you've proven me wrong. You also need to keep breathing during a kiss. Moron." Norbert commented.

~~~The End.

Author's Note: Happy pre-Valentine's season, everyone. May you never give up on love, no matter how badly the odds are stacked against you. I firmly believe there is somebody for everybody out there, with enough luck, effort, and patience, true happiness can be achieved. I know Reuben and I have found it. I will always love you sweetheart, finding you was worth everything that came before. Please leave a review stating your favorite drabble if you enjoyed this.