A/N: (ﾉ⊙ω⊙)ﾉ SasuNaru whoobloodyhoo!

Warning: Sexual Content, forever and always. Oops.

"Sasuke?"

"Kakashi."

"It's 1am."

"Give me your best man."

"Now?"

"Immediately."

x

A few seconds after the line went dead, his phone vibrated silently in his palm. Sasuke casted a glare towards the direction of his sleeping wife before nodding to himself once. His thumb slid swiftly across the horizontal length of his screen and the tell-tale click of the phone was heard, signalling the unlocked state he'd achieved. He quickly glided his fingers over his message icon and opened the text he was sent.

Sasuke glared, not liking the appointed venue, but shrugged it off mentally and went for his wallet and keys before sliding into his car and driving off towards the awaiting night.

x

He was thirty minutes early.

The appointment wasn't till 2am because apparently, the one he called for was on a gig, whatever the hell it was supposed to imply. Kakashi never was one for directness.

Sasuke skilfully plucked himself away from prying hands of lustful females and sat himself on an empty counter stool. He'd called for a drink and was waiting for it when something compelled him to turn around, and he did so, mainly out of boredom.

He never was one for loud music and scanty female, but because this bar supplies for both genders, he'd turned around getting a direct view of a male stripper working his pole. The young fellow was blonde with an air of exuberance around him, warm chuckles rolling off his tongue as leather clad hips gyrated in a seductive manner. Hands were shot off at every corner, leaving a close proximity between those lustful fingers and the talented dancer on an elevated stage, twirling gracefully around his metal pole, body glistening along with the light bouncing off the metal. He had somehow managed to keep up a shit eating grin while moving up and down his pole, occasionally pulling a risqué trick or two, stringing out louder cheers and shrieks of want and adoration as he scored more points with the crowd.

What Sasuke noticed though, was that unlike the other staffs on poles, the blonde felt different, but in a good way. His moves were raw and courageous, original and not practiced, yet oddly captivating and definitely highly entrancing. The blonde didn't have the usual feel of a stripper, more so a socialite wielding the power to grab any and every little ounce of attention thrown his way, whether accidentally or not.

He was only mildly aware of how the way the feelings his analytical mind portrayed was slowly showing on his face, starting from the little opening in his mouth to the slight widening in his eyes, and the most obvious giveaway of his unbroken concentration towards the blonde dancer would be his unmoving orbs. People normally don't hold his attention, given he was as antisocial as it can get. He isn't one to ogle over women on the beaches or the kind to chance glances at well-built men in public baths. No, Sasuke Uchiha was what his brother had proclaimed an asexual fool, married to one Sakura Haruno under their parent's arrangement.

He'd been taught since a young age that it was rude to stare.

A little thud sounded behind him and it dragged him out of his stupor. He quickly spun back around on his stool, abashed at how easily distracted he was by another mere human being. It wasn't Uchiha-like to stare and gawk, it was totally uncharacteristic, and this matter should be concealed and hidden to the deepest depths of his mind, never to be brought up again.

As he picked up the little cocktail glass placed in front of him and drank himself to forgetfulness, a pair of blue eyes strayed to his direction. They curved happily as its owner smiled down at his leering fans, muttering words of thanks before tan legs leaped off his little podium daringly and started walking towards the drinking raven.

He stood behind Sasuke for a couple of seconds, his presence hidden by the shadows casted by the dim lights in this area, pondering on how he should approach him. Coming up with nothing, he shrugged in a whatever sort of fashion before finally plopping down on the next stool and ordering a drink as well.

The compelling force was back once more as it prompted Sasuke to regard his new neighbour this time. Complying, he gently pulled his glass away from his lips and placed it back soundlessly on the counter, not even a ripple forming on the surface of his unfinished drink. He discreetly twisted his head to the side a little, trying to catch a quick look on the man on the next stool.

The simultaneous angling of head and the slight tousling of blonde tresses under the movement had his breath hitched. Fuck.

"Hey," greeted the blonde with an added grin, pearly whites blinding under the almost darkness.

"Hn," Sasuke was almost tempted to squint his eyes at the blinding intensity of the other's teeth, but when his dark eyes roved a little higher, they didn't dare move a muscle after landing on identical pools of brilliant blue.

A little curve formed on the bottom lids then and hid half of his orbs.

Pity,Sasuke complained internally.

"How'd you like the show?" The blonde asked conversationally, lips stretched into a warm smile.

"It was… entertaining." Sasuke concluded, not wanting to reveal the depths of his infection.

"You know, I've got some time to spare, and you look like you've got some tension to relief."

The raven quirked an eyebrow, a little impressed with his company's ability to read his stoic facial feature. Maybe it was his shoulders. His eyes quickly darted towards his clothed shoulders to check for signs of rigidity, missing the innuendo.

Sasuke rolled his shoulders once and looked back up at the blonde, wanting to ask so badly how he knew. He'd lived for twenty three years, and nobody had managed to read his feelings since he'd hit thirteen, when he'd witnessed his parents' death. Instead, he opted for a more casual approach. "Good eye." He praised.

"My tongue works pretty damn well too," the blonde said cheekily, licking around the rims of his raised glass, eyes never leaving Sasuke's.

"Hn." This time, Sasuke smirked. He had another twenty minutes, lots of cash in his pocket, and some amount of stress and tension to let loose. "Why don't I be the judge to that?" he asked, eyes narrowed with a playful gleam in it.

It wasn't like he was gay or anything, he just didn't have a set preference since he didn't feel the pull of attraction often, and was even dubbed abnormal by his peers for not drowning in the blanket of attention that was thrown over him daily.

He was given a grin just as playful in return.

The blonde got off his stool and on to his feet, waiting as Sasuke did the same. Sasuke took his time sliding off his stool, outwardly looking like an elegant noble, inwardly, he was trying hard to restrain the drumsticks beating at his heart faster. The view he received up close was much more well defined compared to the far range one he'd received prior, what with the mass of heads as woman danced around him.

His unbalanced scale of luck tipped back towards good, deciding that striking what little conversation he had with the blonde dancer had brought his scale back to balance. He'd have to wait until after the events of the night unfold to examine if his good luck plate would be full.

Sasuke cast one last, quick look at the leather clothed bulge between the other's thighs before withdrawing from temptation and slowly raking his eyes up in a discreet fashion, scanning over the taut muscle on his sweat-glistened chest, with only a couple of leather straps tied around in a seemingly random order.

Would he be cheating on his wife were he to submit to his craving? Would he be a hypocrite?

Thoughts were pushed aside as lithe fingers clasped onto his wrist and dragged him passed crowds and obstacles before stopping at a wooden door. The shiny metal sign with the words 'Office' engraved on went unnoticed as the door was pushed open and both boys walked into the unlit room, out of reach from the stench of heavy alcohol and smoke.

x

Sasuke was guided to sit atop a large mahogany desk. A wobbly stack of paperwork was heedlessly pushed to the side, giving the anticipating raven more room to move about. Only an overhead light was switched on by the blonde who now kneeled before him, smirking at said raven seductively.

"Should the judging begin?" He asked in a sultry tone, fingers lightly trailing over his thighs.

"Hn."

Sasuke watched as fingers travelled towards his inner thigh, kneading the flesh soothingly, a warm up to the oncoming activity. They then travelled up to the hem of his office slacks, popping his fly open and tugging them as low as possible. He coaxed Sasuke to lift his hips as he supported the other's knee, making quick work of jerking the clothing towards the raven's ankle before his attention was diverted towards more important parts.

A tingling sensation shot up his spine as a palm rubbed between milky thighs, his libido already twitching at the attention.

The blonde's fingers lightly skimmed across dark tresses that had escaped the confines of his briefs as his palm continued rubbing around him, quickly teasing him into wakefulness. He felt a finger pull on the coarse hair lightly before hooking around the top of his underwear, tugging them down to rest stretched above his parted knees.

It took his lower half to be exposed for him to realize they were in an air conditioned room. A faint spread of pink tinted his pale cheeks as his manhood sprang a little upwards, despite the cold air warping around it. He shivered slightly at the cool air blared against his heated member.

Sasuke still couldn't quite place his finger around the reason behind his partaking in this particular happening. Revealing his family jewels is dishonouring, definitely, and having another man touch it should by all means be humiliating. But he couldn't wrap his mind around coherent thoughts or traditional family rules and teachings as fingers clenched around his arousal, giving it a few experimental squeezes before settling at a right hold.

He hissed as his aroused flesh made contact with the blonde's fingers, feeling his body heat up feverishly as the hand around him began moving, holding him from the base up to his head, stretching the skin along his length with him. Sasuke swallowed hard, looking elsewhere while the hand nuzzled against the bottom of his head and pulled downwards again. They continued moving at a rhythmic pace, slowly pumping the raven into higher awareness.

Another hand reached up and lightly caressed his tightening sac, ghostly dragging the pads of his fingers over the twin balls before proceeding to cupping them in his palm, giving it a few light pulls while rolling them about his hand.

Sasuke could vaguely hear the blonde's little chuckle over the throaty moans he'd failed to gulp down. He basked in the pleasure of having another stranger's hand play around his member, eyes half lidded as half of his eyeballs rolled back in delight, stomach clenching in pleasurable pain.

When the blonde's agonizingly needed ministrations halted, Sasuke turned an irate glare down at his erection, pointing upwards proudly with a hand around his base and the starting beads of fluid on the head. He almost blushed again at the sight but a pair of blue watchful eyes staring back at him had him busy with something else. His gaze concentrated on the deep orbs, watching without really registering the other's actions as the eyes lowered along with the head. They winked at him in a teasing manner before he felt a strong surge of electricity coursing through his body as a hot sheath enveloped his manhood.

Sasuke hissed out in shock, feeling as the electricity subsided into a hum of a more bearable intensity. He forced an eye to open as he memorized the imagery set before him, the plump lips around his head, the curved eyes, the head of blonde, and the swollen cheeks.

A slightly trembling hand of his reached out to cup the blonde's chin, his thumb running over the scars he'd just noticed was present on the blonde's tan face. There were three on each side of his cheeks, all fanning out like whisker marks. He'd decided it suited the blonde's face. It made him look all the more foxy.

The head below him began moving as lips captured more of his length, tongue lapping at the sensitive organ almost greedily inside the hot cavern of the skilful dancer's mouth. An all too foreign yet recognizable feeling started within him. The movement from the blonde's mouth kicked that little step on his stomach to work, pulling on all his tension and building it inside as those sinful lips roamed around him in increased acceleration.

Sasuke relented and moaned unabashedly, blinking in surprise to find hands already gripping on the blonde locks hard, tugging the head forward at the speed he most wanted. The blonde only complied, chuckling with the organ still within his mouth. The vibrations from the sound sent ripples of burning want up his spine and down to his stomach, where it melted with the rest of the build-up and filled the container close to the brim.

Dizzily, Sasuke gave the blonde's willing mouth a few light thrust to satiate his immediate need. He felt the blonde shift below him until his length was plunged deeper within, constricted by the tight hold of his oesophagus.

"F-Fuck," he writhed in his seat as he was being swallowed whole, the dancer's head angled strategically to envelope his length, a glazed over look in his own eyes as well. Sasuke noticed the obvious tent in the stripper's own leather pants and couldn't help but push his hips forward, forcing his erection to hit repeatedly against the back of the tunnel. It must be painful to keep it locked under that tight leather.

Sasuke didn't have time to sympathize the blonde though as his stomach tightened painfully, the progressing stimulation all leading to the finale. His eyes barely took in the bobbing head of blonde in front him while his swollen member throbbed in warning before what felt like a floodgate smashed through his stomach, sending streams of white fluid straight into the blonde's mouth, some splashing onto his face and dribbled down his lips as he pulled out slightly, not wanting to choke the man to death.

He was panting harshly at his release and felt the strength from him drained to nothing. Lifelessly, he fell forward and was caught in the blonde's arms. He heard a tired, light hearted chuckle emitted from the grinning dancer as the length of his body was laid across the table, briefs yanked off his legs to dab at the cum still lingering on the head of his member.

Sasuke groaned. "Did you really have to use that?" He asked as the blonde stroke down his length with his scrunched up black briefs. He felt himself twitch at the light strokes. His common sense were tumbling back to the window of his brain, portraying this unholy deed to his mind leader as they yakked out all the faults of this little session. Sasuke couldn't help but ignore his strict inner self for once, turning a blind eye towards how undignified it was to be sprawled like this in front of a stranger's eye.

"It's soiled anyway." The blonde chuckled again, "So what's the score?"

Sasuke smirked despite his state of undress. "Eig-"

Just as Sasuke was about to voice eight, his gaze followed Naruto as he rubbed his finger pads teasingly over his cleaned manhood before turning his underwear around to a clean side to wipe away the ribbons of fluid on his own face.

"Hn," He got up into a sitting position and yanked his pants back on. "9."

He watched as the blonde wiped off the last of his cum and handed back the soiled clothing to Sasuke, tongue stuck out to twirl around his lips, licking off the remnants of his seed with a little smirk intact.

"You can keep that." Sasuke grimaced at the piece of clothing.

The blonde smirked. "It'll be a good start to solve my problem," he said as his eyes darted down to his own bulge.

"Do you need help with your case?"

"Actually, clients can lend a hand to speed up the process." The blonde stated matter of factly while his lips edged into a devious smirk.

He then lowered his hand to press against his tent, a hiss coming out of his swollen lips as the neglected organ was being fed suddenly with sensations. Sasuke didn't even bother hiding his interest, eyes trained onto the palm between leather clad thighs, occasionally roaming upwards to meet sparkling blue eyes. He did however spend two seconds to make sure he wasn't salivating. That would just be downright embarrassing.

Sasuke felt the diminished flame in him ignited once more. He fought the strong urge to leap over and pull out the blonde's length into his own hands, not even knowing they had come from. Why did he even volunteer for this again?

The last time he checked, he had a wife.

Who he suspected was cheating on him.

That's why he made a call to Kakashi, to hire the best detective he could offer. Which he should be meeting –

Sasuke casted a glance at the watch around his wrist, his mask of apathy barely hiding the panic rising.

- Over twenty minutes ago.

"Fuck, I've got to go," Sasuke muttered raggedly, shifting his pants around to get his bulge into a more comfortable position. He quickly fished out his wallet from his back pocket and pulled out couple of hundred dollar note, unsure of the usual price.

The blonde paused in his handwork and cocked an eyebrow as the notes was tossed at him, eyeing the raven who quickly rearranged himself before bolting out of the place, all the while still looking every bit elegant.

He smirked deviously, quickly stripping off his scanty clothes and bringing himself to completion. Once done, he spared himself a few seconds to come down from the high, fingers tripping over one another as his hand reached up for the phone attached to the desk. He dragged the device down to his lap, fingers jabbing at numbers while he propped the phone to the side of his head, speaker meeting ear.

"Kakashi? This is Naruto. Give me five more minutes, I'm just cleaning up some leftover mess."

He heard the man snicker until a muffled sound was elicited, repeating after the information he'd just given to someone else. Three guesses to who it could be, and two don't count.

x

Sasuke pushed past the mass of bodies surrounding him, turning his hard glare onto any drunkard foolish enough to block his way. He made quick work to squeeze himself out of the crowd, eyes scanning the surrounding for any signs of a masked man with silver gravity defying hair.

Spotted, he nodded in thought. Sasuke strode up to the back of one occupied bar stool, his shadow looming over a couple of females barricading his object of interest.

He cleared his throat audibly, gaining a couple of the sleazy women's attention. A few of them recognised the intensity behind his stare for what it's worth and backed away obediently, others who refused to bulge were simply pushed aside as he took up a seat next to this, eliciting whines and whimpers of protests.

"My, my, Sasuke. You kept me waiting for ten minutes." A hand gently navigated the women between them apart, revealing a crinkled eye and the outline of a smile on the other's mask. His other eye was deftly covered by long grey locks, poking outwards of the man's head as they spiked upwards and tilted slightly to the side.

"I was busy and was unaware of the time," Sasuke offered as a clipped explanation. "So where is he? He's thirty minutes late."

"You are thirty minutes late too."

"I had a plausible excuse."

"I'm sure he had one too, Sasuke." The older man's right eye was curved into a happy upturned U, a suspicious smile etched beneath the mask over his bottom face.

"Cut to the chase, Kakashi. I can't trust a detective who doesn't stick to punctualities." Pale arms folded across his stiff chest while Sasuke glared harder at the unaffected man.

"You trust me and I'm always late." Kakashi replied with a hidden smug grin.

He felt another approaching presence and turned to face the figure, stunned beyond words. "Besides, I believe I was twenty minutes early?" the newcomer said with a cheeky grin plastered on.

x

Life is a bitch.

Karma is a bitch.

The blonde in front of him is a bitch.

Twenty three years later, the compelling urge to throw himself off a building came knocking on his door for a second visit.

"Sasuke, Naruto. Naruto, Sasuke." Came Kakashi's happy voice, hands motioning between one grinning blonde and one suicidal brunette.

"We've met." Sasuke snapped, eyes turning hard, glaring at the remaining women who lingered around.

"We sure did!" chirped the blonde, pulling a stool to sit between the two men, forming a little triangle between the three of them.

Sasuke cleared his throat and folded his arms, straightening his back to get into a good posture. He then directed his gaze at Kakashi, silently conveying his homicidal intents. "It's 2.30 in the morning, so I'll make this quick. I suspect my wife is having an outside affair, and I intend on finding out who it is and why she's keeping up with it."

"Well," Naruto drawled, "she probably realised you swing the other way, or maybe you play both sides, but you're not putting your fighter to good use."

He turned hard eyes towards the blonde, currently dressed in a black t shirt and jeans. "No, she's not that shallow, and she's one to think further ahea-"

"Oh come on, Uchiha, after all that and you're still so uptight?"

"You should have told me you were going to be my detective." Sasuke's voice sounded all but strangled. He was trying hard to restrain from full out yelling.

"Where is the fun in that? And besides, I like getting to know my clients before working with them. Gives me a better idea of what I'm dealing with."

Kakashi was watching their interaction with obvious amusement, sipping his tequila stealthily without revealing the lower half of his face.

"Kakashi, I am not paying a sex fiend to do my bidding."

A loud gasp was emitted at the accusation. "I am not a sex fiend."

"Then explain why a detective would be on a strip pole playing cock tease."

"Actually, I was targeting the ladies," Naruto grinned, oblivious to the killer intent radiating off Sasuke in waves, "And I'm here today because ero-sennin was short on staff. Usually, I just do a little background search before agreeing to be anybody's detective."

Detecting the nauseating aura Sasuke was sending out, Kakashi sneakily made his move and snuck out of the club, smiling at a nearby lady and sweet talking her back to his home.

"And how did my background search go?" Sasuke asked tauntingly, unaware of Kakashi's leave.

"Your request was really last minute, so I thought I'd have a hands-on session. Learnt lots about you." Sasuke felt a hand land on his lap, teasingly rubbing his inner thigh.

He smacked it, but the tan hand dodged the attack and resided on his crotch for safety.

His cock twitched.

Naruto smirked.

"Why don't we discuss more about this tomorrow over breakfast? The club's really loud, and the bar counter isn't a really private place either." Naruto reasoned professionally, all the while nudging the napping organ back to life.

Sasuke felt his foundation shake under every touch, his hands unable to pull away the delicious friction those talented fingers brought. He wanted this, but he shouldn't, and he wouldn't.

He quickly stood up, the hand on him slipping away. "Yes, good night. Just send me the directions to your office."

He took a step towards the exit, but felt fingers latch onto his wrist, stopping him. "Let me show you my office now. A good night was what you wanted, wasn't it?" Hot breath fanned over the side of his face as the blonde leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"Yes," He gulped. Sasuke took in a deep breath, eyes shut in exasperation. This had gone on long enough, he had to right things. Lids snapped open, revealing hard onyx gaze, a mask of indifference worn over his face. "A good night of sleep. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go back." With that, Sasuke took off towards the exit, debating on whether or not he should change detectives for his task.

"Can I join you, Uchiha-san?" Naruto jokingly teased, earning a raised middle finger. He chuckled and watched as Sasuke left the building, pulling a phone out of his pocket.

He scrolled through his contacts and tapped on one particular name, waiting for it to beep only twice until a deep voice picked up the phone.

"Uzumaki."

"Itachi." Naruto greeted back with a smile.

"How's Sasuke?"

"He's in good hands, don't worry. I am the best in my line after all. You worry 'bout your side."

"Hn."

He could envision the light smirk Itachi wore when the phone ended. Chuckling once more, he headed back to his car, determined to start digging up dirt on who he suspected would be their target.

He has a pretty good idea.

He was, afterall, friends with the entire world.