Author's Note: Ugh! Why is it that FF logs me out when I'm almost finished with this chapter? -.-

Yes, this is the angry Nico changing diapers! chapter, but honestly, in my opinion, the quality isn't as good as it could have been. I might go back and edit things up since that's the case.

Update: I'm going away for a week so I might not update the next chapter by Sunday. I'm sorry. But, I'll try making it up to you guys.

"Percy Jackson" © Riordan.

Enjoy.

—happy valentine's day.

"Baby on Board"

month three: "the punishment."

"Oh, gods! Did you hear? Annabeth is pregnant!"

"Oh my gods! Are they still getting married?"

"I heard that it will be postponed!"

Annabeth's could have murdered Nico—no, seriously.

The news, because of one of Nico's stalkers, spread all over Camp Half Blood like a raging fire and absolutely everyone could not stop talking about what this meant, so naturally, Annabeth put all the blame on Nico and reprimanded Percy for even telling him. She was so close to stabbing the poor boy, but those blasted Aphrodite girls acted like his body guards, and, well, seeing as how they resembled a dragon voracious for torment if anyone mentioned something horrible about him, she decided to leave it at that. But then she thought of something that was much worse than chasing them with a chainsaw.

So, in late June, both boys stood in front of the new nursery and gulped.

The punishment awaited them.

They all looked innocent and cute, those little babies and toddlers, with their enormous, doe-like eyes that mirrored a tinge of purity. Nico thought this would be a breeze and did not even worry about it, and suggested that Percy do the same, to which he received the reply: "Hey, maybe you're right."

That was until Katie shut the door and left the cousins in charge. Then it was hell—or Hades—on Earth.

Those little creatures started running around in circles, breaking objects, slamming into one another as some recalled a wrestling match—what kind of parent would let their kid watch WWE?—and one kid, who had a huge ego, attempted to kick Nico where it hurt.

The Son of Death breathed hard. "You little son of a—"

Percy laughed. "And you thought this was going to be easy,"

"Oh, shut it you—"

"Nico," Percy called out as he caught a rascal. "Control yourself—hey, that's not an ice cream cone! Put it down!"

Nico rolled his eyes as Percy stopped two toddlers who were nibbling on a stick. He hunted for the kid that kicked him, his dark eyes searching for the prize, and found that he was hiding behind a chair laughing. "There you are—"

"Dude, can you check the babies?" Percy asked before he could finish. "These guys desperately need a nap."

"Why do I—" The Son of Poseidon disappeared. Grumbling under his breath, he frowned and started to check his leg for any unnoticed bite marks, ignoring the request.

A little girl tugged on his shirt. "Excuse me?"

"Not now,"

"But I want to ask something!" she protested before frowning.

Nico looked at her and sighed. He stopped rubbing his leg. "What is it?"

"Where do babies come from?"

Nico froze and blinked. Why would she ask him this question? He cleared his throat. Oh, going to the infant section sounded lovely now! Stuttering, he muttered something about asking Percy since he was the so-called expert—which he definitely was—and, in less than a second, Nico shut the door of the baby room with an audible slam.

For the first time this horrible day, the Fates were on his side for he only had to take care of three babies; a boy and two girls. They, surprisingly, were much easier to handle and take care of than those parasitical toddlers and, under his wing, he was able to put them to sleep with ease—not that kind of put them to sleep. (That incident last week with the dog shouldn't be mentioned.) A small smile appeared on his face as he placed a baby bundled in pink back in her crib, touching her hair. He thought about helping Percy but then snickered.

Ha, help him? No way; pass.

The infant dressed in green began to cry. Oh, that piercing sound! He winced as the screeching continued.

"What's wrong?" he questioned as he carried him. "Tell me!"

With disbelief in his eyes, he started to smell something . . . funky. Like, really disgusting. And then his brain started screaming No! as he realized where that awful stench was coming from. He looked down and winced. Here he was, Nico di Angelo, the Son of Hades, a Warrior of the Dead, who had to take care of a baby boy who was probably a mistake, and what was he doing?

Why, smelling his butt, of course!

He cursed under his breath. Wow, he really needed to get a life.

Where were the instructions about how one was to change a diaper? As far as Nico knew, there were ingredients: baby powder, baby wipes, and a diaper. He awkwardly set the little boy down before closing his eyes for a moment and taking off the clothes. All of a sudden, the baby started to squirm.

"Stop that now!" he ordered. "No, no! Bad boy, bad! Stay still!"

In a hurry, Nico quickly took off the diaper and held his breath, but to compound this problem even further, the baby started to release its bladder, leaving Nico to defend for himself as he tried to cover his face and reaching a whole new level of being pissed off. He grabbed a wipe and held it in place.

"Quit it! Why aren't you making this easy for me?"

Then, looking at his face, he saw that the baby was smiling, like he was enjoying this. Oh, Hades no! Nico would show him who was boss!

"Oh, you want to do this the hard way? Come at me, bro," he grumbled.

They tumbled and turned, groaned and pleaded, until, finally, Nico was victorious and threw the dirty diaper away. But, this was no time to celebrate. The baby started to cry.

Hoping that no one was videotaping this, he gently picked the infant up, cradled him and tapped his bum so that he could quiet down, much like a father taking care of his newborn child. He began to sing a soft lullaby as he tried to hide a smile. The child stopped crying.

"Go to sleep," he whispered. "Hush, little baby, don't say a word,"

Nico was softly cooing at the little bundle of joy who stared at him, his eyes filled with specks of interest and curiosity as he yawned and rubbed his eyes. He snuggled up against Nico's chest and played with his hands until he closed his eyes. Carefully, he placed him back in his crib and tucked him in. It was a success!

Chuckling to himself, Nico walked outside, not realizing that the demon toddler was waiting for him and had a mischievous smirk on his face.

And then he kicked Nico's balls.

Percy sighed with relief as he saw that the little toddlers had finally fallen asleep, all of them sighing and resting side-by-side. He counted the number of kids—oh, Hades! Where was the last—

"Excuse me, but are you Percy?" a little girl asked. She was the same one who came to Nico earlier.

Percy released a breath, relieved. "Are you Sammy?"

She nodded. "Nico told me to ask you this question,"

"What is it?"

"Where do babies come from?"

author's note

Thank you so much to those who reviewed: cantwaittillfall, purpleluv111, candyland7, PJOOF16, whackadoodle100, XxWonderStruckxX, Shelby, guest, guest, (anonymous reviewers), Perseus Jackson Rules, Pug1998, MacGrath, fourteen miles away, They'll Call Me Freedom, TailsDoll13, Dragonfire890 and everyone else! Huge kisses and roses to those who have put me and/or this story on their Favorite/Alert list. Thank you all so much!

The next chapter will be more . . . err, emotional. It marks the end of the first trimester. Then they get an ultrasound. c:

Thank you for reading.