I've had a lot of My Little Pony Rule requests in my other Fic "Rules For Not Getting Squished" and I wanted to make Rules about all of them, but I found that this little plot bunny would not leave me alone! XD I don't know how far this is going to go or how long it's gonna be or even how funny it will be to you all! We'll just have to see! X) Anyway, here's the first Chapter of Why The Frag Do I Have A Tail? ~Enjoy!

Cycle = 1 Minute

Megacycle = 1 Hour

"Just a little bit more…Perfect!" exclaimed Wheeljack as he sat in his lab amid beakers of mysterious chemicals. He had been there all morning, denying all forms of social company and sustenance in order to work on what he kept calling the 'means to solve all their Energon related problems'. Many a 'Bot just rolled their optics at Wheeljack's exuberance, but left him alone to perform his experiments all the same. Who knows? Maybe Wheeljack would actually invent something that would actually solve their problems instead of just blow up in their faceplates like all of his other experiments.

"I just need a dab of this and…viola! Finished! Now all I have to do is show it to everyone else." Wheeljack preened, proudly holding his finished product aloft. Wheeljack's new 'invention' was a kind of sparkly pink color that looked nothing at all like Energon. Even as the new mysterious substance swirled around in its beaker it seemed to be emitting tiny sparkles of some sort. But the overall appearance of the invention was of no matter to Wheeljack. The substance in this beaker would be their salvation. One tiny drop of Wheeljack's new invention into a regular Energon cube and…well, he would leave his comrades to find out the results themselves.

Not able to wait any longer to show the rest of the team his success, Wheeljack immediately put a finger to his helm and activated his comm link. ::Everyone! I've finally done it! Meet me in the Rec Room so that we can try it out!:: The ecstatic inventor shut off the comm. link before anyone could have the chance to respond. Wheeljack knew that the replies, if any, would only be teasing disbelief from most of them anyway. Enough of his experiments had gone awry for this teasing to have been justified, but this time would be different. This time, his invention would work.

His prize in servo, Wheeljack rushed out of his lab and to the Rec Room as fast as his pedes could carry him, not looking where he was going in the process. He nearly stepped on several N.E.S.T. operatives in his exuberance.

Upon entering the Rec Room, Wheeljack was met with a mixture of disbelieving, teasing, and just plain bored looks from the rest of the assembled 'Bots. Some mechs were here only because they had nothing better to do. Others had come because it was immensely amusing to see one of 'Jackie's experiments blow up. The rest were there purely for academic purposes or to help mend whatever damage was caused because of the exploding concoction. More often than not, Ratchet was needed for the latter reason.

"Here it is! See! Perfect! Just like I said! All we need is one plain cube of Energon and one tiny drop of my invention and the results will be exponential!" Wheeljack sang.

With that, Wheeljack nearly skipped over to a table where a couple of Energon cubes were already sitting out, glowing faintly in the dimness of the room. He plucked up a single cube in one servo and slowly tipped a single drop of his slightly volatile pink liquid into it. As soon as the pink drop hit the glowing blue that was the Energon, there was a loud pop followed by a fizzing noise and a large cloud of pink smoke puffed out of the Energon cube. When the pink smoke cleared, the once blue Energon cube was now a neon pink. There were only traces of the original blue color of the pure Energon that could be seen making faint, swirling trails throughout the new pink substance.

"Who wants to try it first?" Wheeljack asked, pleased that his presentation was going along so smoothly. Nothing had blown up so far. Hopefully that meant that everything was going to work out okay.

Complete and utter silence along with the nervous sound of shuffling pedes was the only response that Wheeljack received. All the 'Bots that had previously meet Wheeljack's optics suddenly found something very interesting on the floor or ceiling. Wheeljack huffed.

"Fine. If no one wants to test it first I'll just have to test it myself." he said touchily as he started to lift his pink cube of Energon to his lips.

"Wheeljack. What does this new form of Energon do exactly?" Ratchet questioned, stepping forward before the inventor could take a sip.

"Well, it increases ones skills, among other things. Your strength will increase tenfold, as well as your speed. Those are the only positive effects that I know of for certain. There might be other side effects of a positive or negative nature, but nothing too serious. Any side effects that occur should wear off in a few megacycles. I promise." Wheeljack assured the surrounding 'Bots. His assurances did nothing to ease the nervousness that the mechs were feeling in taking the new 'Energon'.

"Wheeljack. I am not sure that this new form of Energon is safe for Cybertronian consumption. Have you performed any test runs?" Ratchet questioned.

"Yes! Multiple times in fact! Nothing blew up or anything like that. The machines that I fueled my new forms of Energon with were fine. Perfect score. No accidents."

"But were those machines advanced enough to simulate Cybertronian life?"

"Yes!"

Ratchet shot a quick glance at Optimus as the Prime let out doubtful 'hmm'.

Wheeljack sighed and lowered his Energon Cube. "Fine. How about I write up some reports and send you some test examples to prove that I'm right and that my new Energon is totally harmless. Then will you believe me?"

Ratchet exchanged another look with Optimus and nodded. "Only then. I want to be completely sure that this new...Energon is safe for consumption. You all know what happened to me when I tried my Synthetic Energon on myself without proper testing."

"How could we forget? The mental images of you kicking aft still terrifies me!" Sideswipe chortled from the back of the room. Several other mech laughed and chimed in with their own horror stories of the 'Doctor of Doom'.

Ratchet shot Sideswipe a glare, then nodded to Wheeljack as he started to head out of the Rec Room and to his quarters. "I expect to see your new test results, reports, and examples first thing in the morning. Then we'll talk about testing on live subjects...but only then. Goodnight everyone."

Other mechs that has assembled in the Rec Room simply to see a show and an explosion had gotten up and left shortly after the CMO. Soon, the only beings that were left were Optimus and Wheeljack.

Wheeljack let out a heavy vent and started to pack up his invention and the remaining pure cubes of Energon that were to be used for testing. Optimus stepped over to the table in order to help the inventor and, when everything was packed away, laid a comforting hand on Wheeljack's shoulder. "Do not lose hope, my friend. I am sure that your invention will be a tremendous help in our fight against the Decepticons. You need only make sure that it is safe. I can not risk losing any of my soldiers to unexpectedly disastrous side effects."

Optimus Prime then turned and headed off to his own quarters to file some data pads and plan his next move against Megatron and his followers, leaving the inventor to his thoughts and his sparking cube of Energon.

Next Chapter is already typed up! It's pretty short, just a warning, but after that one we can get on to hilarious pony madness! XD Oh! And if you see any grammar or spelling mistakes, please point them out to me! Hope these guys weren't too OOC.