A somewhat dark Durincest fic set mostly in the world of the first Hobbit movie, adding some scenes before and after. I fail to describe the plot further, so you'll just have to read and see what happens.

Inspired by a-gan's wonderful piece of art on Tumblr ( image/394647723299). Greetings to the artist if you ever happen to read this!

A multipart story containing fluff, sex (incest obviously), sexual abuse, some angst, a bit of hurt/comfort and lots of bathing and bed scenes. Kili's POV, written in third person.

This is my first ever fic about anything, so I'd be glad to hear your opinions, especially since I didn't use a beta and English is not my native language.

Part I

"Everything might change tomorrow."

Kili lifted his gaze from the half-empty pint in front of him to look at his brother. They were sitting at a table in an inn somewhere south of the Shire. It was late in the evening, only a few other travellers in the dim-lighted dining room besides them.

"That is, if mister Baggins chooses to sign the contract", Fili continued, gnawing a chicken leg while speaking. "And if uncle Thorin accepts him to be a part of the company. I doubt it", he stated and swallowed audibly. "Hobbits are not known by their courage, and the task ahead requires nerves of steel. And he probably cannot even wield a sword."

"I'm not much of a swordsman either", Kili reminded, not eager to converse with his brother at that moment but not able to let him insult someone they had yet not met.

"Or a bow, or an axe, or any other weapon for that matter", Fili insisted. "His only advantage is that he's small, so he probably won't eat very much. Carrying food supplies for thirteen dwarves and a wizard is troublesome enough. And we might be even more in numbers, if Dain is with us."

"That remains to be seen", Kili grunted and took a sip from his pint. "I think we should just trust Gandalf. If he says the hobbit will do, he'll do. And what on Earth do you mean by saying 'Everything might change tomorrow' ?" he snapped the last sentence, causing Fili to stop licking bits of food from his fingers.

"I mean", the blonde dwarf explained, "that after tomorrow the whole company will be together, travelling as one, leaving these peaceful lands behind to possibly encounter hardships and dangers none of us ever has. I'd say that's quite a change." Fili ran his tongue on his left thumb, licking it clean carefully, then turned his eyes to Kili. "Are you going to eat that?"

Kili startled, then shoved his plate to Fili's side of the table. His brother wasted no time grabbing the slice of bread Kili had left untouched, devouring half of it with one bite. A drop of warm butter slid slowly down his chin.

"I'll go to bed. Good night", Kili stated and rose quickly, trying hard not to run up the stairs to the room they'd be sleeping in that night. He threw his coat on the back of the chair that stood next to the door and kicked off his boots before sitting heavily on the bed, leaning his elbows on his knees. His breath had suddenly quickened and he could feel a faint blush heating his cheeks. He was frustrated, and ashamed of being frustrated, and all because Fili had said something that had made his thoughts race. The older dwarf's talking, his behaviour, his mere presence was enough to upset Kili, and now the two of them were about to go on a journey that could last for months and months. Even the first couple of weeks, riding from the Blue Mountains towards Hobbiton, had been hard to bear.

Not so long ago Kili would have gladly joined his brother to take part in an adventure, gone to roam the lands of Middle-Earth to see, hear and do things he had only read about. He and Fili had been inseparable, best of friends as long as he could remember. Kili had admired his big brother, following him everywhere, knowing that he'd always be safe if only Fili was around. They had done almost everything together: played pranks and suffered the consequences, fought with each other, shared a bed for years as small children and later on as well, if one of them had been having a nightmare or it had been cold or they just had not wanted to sleep alone. Even when Fili had started to show signs of adolescence they had still been kids together, getting on their mother's nerves and earning strict reprimands from their uncle every now and then. Times had been good.

There was an age gap of five years between the two brothers – not much considering the average life expectancy of dwarves, but enough to make a difference. Kili's puberty had come late: when his voice had only started breaking, Fili had already been a mature dwarf, walking and talking like an adult, sporting a beard and a braided moustache. It had not been once nor twice when he had let Kili untie and braid it again, for his little brother's fingers were deft and they both had enjoyed these speechless moments together. The tone of their communication had changed: since Thorin had began to pay more serious attention to his older nephew, teaching him their kin's history and all the things his heir should know, Fili had become more aware of his responsibilities as a grown-up and hence less jocular. Kili had not understood his jokes and wits anymore, exept when they had been addressed to him. Fili had often called him a baby or a whimp, scoffed at the pranks that had once made him laugh, and said that he should grow up and stop being so irritating. And how hard had Kili tried to fulfil his wish! Every day he had spent hours working at the forges around their home or hunting and digging for food and setting traps in the nearby forest, and a good amount of time in front of the mirror, examining his adolescent's body. All too slowly his lean figure had started to grow more muscular and the edges of his face had sharpened, but his voice had still been croaky, his chin and chest still smooth and hairless. All he had wanted was to be like his brother, so that they could've been best friends again and Fili would've ceased mocking him and being so unfair, not telling him about the discussions he had had with uncle Thorin and other older dwarves of their kin. But Fili had only pointed out his immaturity and looked at him with amusement, contempt or something intangible in his eyes or not looked at him at all, and all Kili had been able to do had been to braid his brother's moustache and wait for the day they'd be equal again.

Kili recognized the sound of the steps heading towards the room. Quickly he took off his belt, slipped under the quilt and pretended to be asleep when Fili came in and started undressing himself. The blonde always stripped to the waist, sometimes taking his trousers off too, before going to bed. Kili could not – it was awkward enough to sleep in the same bed with his brother again every night, as they had done so far on their journey, finding themselves tangled in each other's arms and legs and hair in the mornings. More than once already had Kili woken up from a lustful dream, his aroused member pressed against Fili's bare skin through his clothes, and jumped off the bed, almost panicking, hoping that the other had not noticed a thing in his sleep. Camping under the stars in the wilderness was not a scary thought – in fact, Kili looked forward to those nights when he could freely choose where to lay his bedroll. He wanted to be away from his brother... and wanted not to. It was both a bliss and a curse that Thorin had called upon them both to join the company, assuming that if one answered, the other would come too.

Kili couldn't remember when it had started, but at some point he had begun to see his brother in a different light. It had been as if his feelings had changed shape along with his physical appearance: as his voice had turned lower, the admiration and brotherly love he'd always felt for Fili had turned to something deeper, and as he'd started to find new hairs covering his body, he'd also started to find himself absorbed in his thoughts, thoughts that he shouldn't have been thinking, if he knew anything about that sorts of things. Fili had occupied his mind, slowly but surely, along with all his senses: where the older dwarf had gone, Kili's eyes had followed; if he had made a sound, Kili had been sure to hear it even amidst a loud conversation; and whenever they had touched, bumping into each other in a narrow corridor or Fili ruffling his loose hair while passing by, Kili had felt a shiver down his spine that had had nothing to do with the cold breeze blowing through the caves. He had felt something twitch inside him whenever Fili had flashed him a smile or even uttered his name, and that something had burst into flames when on one of his birthdays Fili had held him, kissed his brow, and told him how proud he was to have a little brother.

It was one of those evenings when Kili, after a hard day's work and a fortnight without washing himself, decided to take a bath. He sat in the warm water for over an hour, rubbing stains of dirt from his skin, letting himself relax. After drying himself off, he put on his undergarments and trousers and was about to untangle his newly washed hair when Fili entered the room.

"Let me do that", he said, taking the comb from Kili's hand. The blonde dwarf glanced at his bare upper body and Kili felt a sudden urge to cover himself, but could not move when Fili started to comb his hair. They were so close Kili had to shut his eyes, for the scent of Fili and his breath against his face made his heart jump to his throat. Even when the older one moved behind his back, running the comb through the hair at the back of his head, he was unable to utter a word.

"When will you start braiding your hair, brother?" Fili asked, gently untangling Kili's dark locks. They were still damp: a drop of water from his hair ran down his back, below the loose waist of his trousers, causing him to tense. What made him tremble was the sensation of Fili's gaze following the wet trail on his skin. "I could do it for you, teach you, you know."

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my hair myself", Kili snapped, a bit louder than he had intended. Fili put the comb on the nearby shelf and placed his hands on the younger one's shoulders, still standing behind him, stroking his skin with his thumbs. Kili threw his eyes open and tried hard to control his body to prevent his upcoming erection from happening, and the struggle made him shake visibly and his brother chuckle.

"Don't be so peevish, I'm only trying to advise."

"I don't need your advice, nor your help!" Beyond his incitement, Kili had started to feel uncomfortable. His cheeks were burning and his voice had risen an octave. "Leave me alone!"

"But are you not my baby?" Fili murmured in his ear.

"Stop it! I'm not a child!"

"I can see that."

Before Kili managed to form an objection, Fili's hand slipped inside his garments, pressing his crotch. Suddenly all the blood fled his face and rushed down to his cock.

"No, you're not a child anymore", Fili whispered, wrapping his fingers around Kili's hardness – where his other hand was, Kili couldn't feel and didn't want to know.

"Don't touch me there!"

Kili buried his face in his hands, still shaking, still unable to move when Fili started taking him towards the edge.

Kili had not told a thing to their mother, nor Thorin, nor anyone else. He had felt filthy, and still did. The incident had not been his fault, he knew that, but he also knew his feelings towards his brother should've changed, and yet they had not. Days had passed before Kili had been able to say anything to Fili, weeks before he had braced himself enough for looking him in the eye, only to find how much worse the ache in his heart had become. When he woke up the first thought in his mind was his brother; whenever he touched himself he could only remember what had happened that one night in the bathroom - how he, somewhere beneath his fear and disgust, had actually enjoyed it; and when he dreamt, he dreamt of Fili.

There was no sound to be heard in the bedroom exept that of Fili's quiet snoring. The two dwarves lay on the opposite sides of the bed, Kili still awake, watching the blonde's calm face and the hair that framed it. A slight, sad smile lifted the corners of his mouth upwards. How wrong Fili was, he thought. The following day would make no difference – for Kili, everything had already changed years ago.

I'm a slow writer, and unfortunately I don't have very much time at the moment, so you'll probably have to wait at least a week or two for the second part. There will most likely be at least three parts, could be more, but I cannot promise anything yet.

All kinds of comments and questions are very welcome. :)