Author's Note:
Ok I'm gonna make this brief, instead of my usual long self-gratifying rants! This is a survey quiz taken off the web so it is a real email survey. I have seen this idea in a few other places but I just couldn't resist the urge to do it! It's so much fun! I like all the Z characters so you won't see too much bashing of any one person; I can't help it however if, say, Link rags on Ganondweeb because obviously those characters are far from friends. This is meant as a funny, kawaii fic and nothing to hard on the mind. So read, review, and have fun!
Side Note:
I hope you guys like this and please don't report me! If you do feel the need to tattle, please also leave your name and address so I may go to your house and smack you in the head. 6_^
And The Survey Says...
By Jasmine
To: [email protected] (Ganondorf)
From: [email protected] (Nabooru)
~*First of all*~
What time is it? - 10:07... had a long nit of sand creature hunting.... ok so it was more boyfriend hunting but what else do you expect among a tribe of women? -__-;;
~*Stupid stuff that takes up space*~
1. Name/Nicknames - Nab... Ro.... Big Red ((I hope they don't mean I'm 'big'!)).... Hot Sauce.... Pointy Nosed She-Man ((Yes, Ruto, you better sleep with one eye open.... Or pay someone to sleep with one eye open... Or if you were going to do that, you might as well just pay for someone to stay awake.... Or....))
2. Age - 22! ::Hears Ganon snickering in the background:: Ok, ok, so I'm 26. SO WHAT! That's not old... ::Hears Ganon say "Yes it is":: O SHUT UP YOU FORTY YEAR OLD COOT!
3. Birthday - August 10th... The hottest month of the year for the hottest woman in Hyrule... ::Hears Ganon giggling again:: O will you shut your pie hole already, Ganon-pig!
~*Stuff and such*~
4. Crush - nope not really. As a leader of my people I do not need to entertain such childish notions............ ::Small voice:: I'm so very lonely... ;-;
5. Does he/she like u? - ^^^^^
6. First b/f or g/f - O well, I mit as well admit it because I believe in facing my fears. It was.... Ganon-loser. ((Impa you too!? God, we need to start a support group or something....))
7. First kiss - Well it was obviously my first boyfriend, Ganon-chicken-lips. Lets just say he's a big reason I hate men now and decided to stay in a clan of women.
8. First person u loved - I've never loved anyone..... ::Breaks into sobs::
~*Last person who..*~
9. Wrote u a note - Rauru and it was on a sheet of toilet paper. It said 'Nabooru, I'm stuck on my toilet and can't get up. Please hurry... And bring lots of sandwiches!'
10. Called u - Ganon-geezer, he wanted to kno if I could perform some 'belly dancing' for him. I told him my dancing would be too much for his old ticker to take, he mit have a heart attack.... He forgot what he was talking about and then askd for some prune juice before falling asleep while still on the phone
11. E~mailed u - Link to ask if I could invite Impa to see a movie and then he could sneak into the Castle. I WILL NOT BE A PART IN ANY OF THIS PRE-MARITAL SHENANIGANS! Hero of lime..... hero of slime..... hero of grime... hero of crime.... hero of..... mime? Ok so im running out of words that rhyme ok?
12. Told u they love ya - GANON SAID HE LOVED ME TOO IMPA! That's it I think we should a two on one sword fight!
13. Was mean to u - Mean? To me? I don't think I've ever said that in the same sentence....
14. Said sumthing nice about u - Yes always. I pay people just to say nice things to me like these puffy pants really slim the hips! ;o)
15. You saw a movie with - All us Gerudos went out to see 'Matrix Two' since Trinity is our role model.... And Keanu is dreamy.... ::Sighs and dazes out while muttering "He sure is the One..."::
16. You went to the mall with - Link and Saria to buy new pants. Saria is the worst person to shop with! She kept whining about how bad the paper slushy cups were for the environment and would break down crying every time she saw a plastic plant!
17. Said they were gonna kill u ((don't ask)) - No, of course not. Of course I did say that to Ganon at the pool party when he told everyone I stuff my bra! ((Which is very untrue.... There were tissues in there encase of emergencies! #_#;;))
~*Have you ever...*~
18. Taken a picture of urself wid a milk mustache? - No can't say I have... Who made up these questions? Malon's the only one freaky enough to say yes to that question...
19. Said "I Love You" and didn't mean it? - No, I couldn't do that, that's horrible. If someone says they love me, I find the 'silent awkwardness' the most effective, just sit there staring and don't say anything. They usually get bored or think you're dead and walk away. Works every time, trust me.
20. Gotten into a fight wid ur pet? - No because I have no pets. Well I did have a puppy when I was little... Fluffy Wuffy, how I miss thee...
21. Had a dream about something crazee and have it happen the next day? - I rarely dream and if I do its usually meaningless stuff... Like being captured by twin witches with annoying cackles and smelly breath and made to be their mindless slave.... Psh. Like that'll ever happen....
22. Stalked someone? - Well I am a thief and let's just say I've been hired to 'rub' a few people out... And by 'rub' I mean 'whack'.... And by 'whack' I mean 'pushing up daisies'.... And by 'pushing up daisies' I mean 'swimming with the fishes'... And by.... O THE HELL WITH IT! I was hired to kill people!
23. Had a mud bath? - No but sand baths are another story. They're very relaxing but later you find sand in all sorts of places.
24. Wished u were the opposite sex? - No of course not! Have you seen the men of Hyrule? There's the Goron King whose dumb as rocks ((Pun intended)), Ganon's a freakish green loser, Rauru's a rolly polly sausage with limbs, Mido's a little squirt with as much charm as Ganon-puke, Ingo is a balding middle-aged jerk, and Link's a girly Fairy Boy. GIRL POWER!
~*Assortment of stuff*~
25. How many ppl are on ur msn list? - A bunch.
26. How many of those ppl are blocked? - Three. Ruto because well, she still won't wear clothing. I mean, I'm a frickin thief and even I have some modesty! Geeze... Ganon-Suave because he keeps asking me out and a spokesperson for T.S.I.M.C.A.D.S
((There's Sand In My Crack And Deserts Suck))
27. Are u bored? - No just tired.... And..... lonely....... WAAAHHHHHHH
28. Wut are u gonna do when ur done this? - Go to get some much needed rest.... And dream of Keanu.... Sweet, sweet angel-lips Keanu
29. Wut movie did u last see? - 'Matrix Two'
30. Wut song did u hear last? - "Going Under" -- Evanescence. Such a great song! ((I like that song too Impa! Thanks for making me a fighter!))
31. Wut was the last thing u ate? - Sand shaped as an apple, sand shaped as steak, sand shaped as mashed potatoes, and sand shaped as a glass of water.
32. Who do u plan on talkin to in the next 5, 10 minutes? - Impa.... Most likely Ganon ::Gag, puke, die::
33. Wut was the last noise u heard? - Ganon singing "Once, Twice, Three Time A Lady" outside my window.... I threw a bucket of sand down on him.
34. Last party u went to? - Zelda's pool party, which was surprisingly fun! Until Ruto sat in the sun too long and started frying.... Wait a minute, actually that was fun.... And tasty....
~*Friends*~
35. Who laughs the weirdest? - Malon. It's unique though!
36. Who is the loudest? - Princess Zelda! You should have seen when she flipped out at her party because Rauru ate all the food! I swear, I think she scared a few fat rolls off the old man!
37. Quietist? - Saria... She's very timid.
38. Who could be a model? - Zelda of course, Link, Saria's adorable.
39. Best athlete? - ME! Actually it's a tie between me and Impa.
40. Is the hottest? - How stupid..... KEANU REEVES OF COURSE!
~*Family*~
41. Do u intend to get married? - No, never. I am a lone warrior, destined to live out my days in glory.... Unless Keanu were to propose....
42. Wut will u name ur kids? - Gah, children? Who said anything about CHILDREN! I'm all set with whiny little brats, thank you, that's why we have Mido!
~*Otha stuff*~
43. 3 best inside jokes -
1) I heard the best joke! So sand walks into a bar and the bar tender says "What can I get you?" and the sand says.... "Sand"! Ga ha ha ha ha! Ok, so it's a Gerudo joke.....
2) That jewel in my ponytail is really quite painful when I forget to take it out before bed. I've killed many a man that way...
3) The only food Rauru hates is..... cat. Well its not a food but it's the only thing he won't eat and that's because it causes hairballs.
44. Wut kinda car do u want - A fire red fire bird.
45. Wuts ur fav. quote? - "Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks." - Laura Swenson
46. Fav. stuffed animal? - I do not have any stuffed animals.
47. How many e-mail addresses do u have? - A few
48. Say something nice about the person that sent you this *cough cough* ((JJ)) - Impa is a great person! She is so wise and very loyal! Plus she can kick ass and who else can pull off a metal bikini?
49. Wut is ur dream house? - I like the place I live. However a yacht home sailing over the sea would be lovely too.... Get away from sand for awhile. ^.^
50. If you could change back time, name one thing you would change - Uh well I'd go back to when the Gerudo clan was first being established and make it mandatory that every woman wear deodorant! Believe me, it gets hot over here....
51. Are you tired of this yet? - Yes.... So..... Very.... Very..... Tired.....
52. Are you thinking about someone? Who? - Well, yes, my dark eyed kung fu master Keanu.
53. Anything else u wanna say? - The next time you come by my window at 10:00 at night, Ganon-poopy, I'm dropping a piano on your head. I don't even own a piano either but believe me, I will buy one just to drop on you. Understood?
~*One last question*~
54. Wut time is it now? - 10:25... Slow typer....
~*Wait! one more..*~
55. Do u regret filling this out? - No, not at all. NOW LEAVE ME AND MY KEANU BABAY ALONE AND IN PEACE!
Next Target: Ganon-Wimp!