A/N: So, like I said, I'm a wuss and didn't write anything too bad last chapter. I don't mind reading stuff like that, but writing it is a whole other story :P Writing fluff and hurt/comfort is so much easier. Anyways, back to Jack's POV, and I totally feel like I failed at writing in the Doctor's POV, so you don't even need to tell me. :P And I really hope I don't fail at keeping Jack in character either, cause that would suck. Oh and BTW I haven't, like, memorized that really sad scene in CoE so it's probably going to be off a little.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but a strange mind and an ability to write what's in it.

"Please, not Ianto. I'll do whatever you want, just not him!" he begs the alien in the tank. It doesn't respond and he looks back at his boyfriend, dying in his arms.

"I love you," Ianto says, and those are the three words that break his heart, because he doesn't say them back.

"Don't speak," he says, tears rolling down his face. He watches Ianto's eyes close and the life leaves his body.

"Ianto! Ianto, stay with me! Please….don't leave me," he pleads, tears spilling out of his eyes when he receives no response. He weeps silently and holds him closer to his body. He can feel the poison gas leeching his own life away, but it doesn't matter because he'll wake up again and be perfectly fine and Ianto will still be dead. He leans down and kisses his lover one last time before death takes him away into the darkness.

He hates being immortal.

He wakes with a gasp, like he's come back to life from dying in his dreams. He had the same nightmare again and every time he wakes up crying for his now long dead lover. He sighs and covers his face with his hands. He can't go back to sleep, not now. He thought that things were getting better, since he'd been travelling with the Doctor, he'd been having fewer nightmares. But obviously, things haven't gotten better and he sits in his bed crying silently, wishing for the hundredth time that it had gone differently, wishing that he had just said those three words back to Ianto instead of waiting until it was too late.

He said he wouldn't sleep again, but he must have, because when he opens his eyes again it's 9 AM according to the clock in his room. At least it was a dreamless sleep. He can smell something cooking in the kitchen and he's a little curious because he didn't know the Doctor could cook, but he can't bring himself to get out of bed. He lays there, staring at the ceiling for who knows how long, until finally the door to his room slides open.

"Jack, are you up? I made breakfast," the Doctor's voice drifts in. He doesn't move, doesn't even look in the direction of the Doctor's voice. He hears footsteps and then he can see the Doctor in his peripheral vision, standing at the side of his bed.

"Are you okay?" he asks, leaning over to look at him, concern lacing his voice. "Jack?"

"No! I'm not okay, can you just leave me alone?!" he snaps, finally looking at the Doctor. He registers the shock and hurt that crosses the Doctor's face, but he doesn't really care at the moment.

"Sorry, I'll just….go," the Doctor says, looking at Jack sadly and then walking back to the door. He watches him leave and part of him wants to call him back, because he's so sad right now, but he doesn't, because he doesn't want the Doctor's pity, or anyone's for that matter.

I can't stay in here all day, he thinks to himself a while later. He was the one who was talking about taking a vacation and now here he is, cooped up in his room sulking. He's still somewhat sad, but not enough to keep him in bed all day. His stomach grumbles and that's another reason to get up, he thinks, because he still needs to eat. I should apologize to him, he thinks. He hadn't meant to snap at the Doctor, because he was only trying to help, but he was angry and sad and really didn't want company at the time.

Later, after getting dressed and cleaning up, Jack goes to the kitchen to find something to eat. He sees a note taped to the fridge, and it has the Doctor's handwriting on it.

Jack,

Went out for a stroll on the beach. There's some leftover food in the fridge if you're hungry. Hope you're feeling better.

The Doctor

P.S: Don't touch the fish fingers or custard, they're mine.

He laughs softly to himself. Of course the Doctor would mention his favorite food being off limits, but Jack definitely doesn't have any intention of eating them. He never really found the appeal of fish fingers and custard, but apparently the Doctor loves them, and Jack finds that the kitchen is always mysteriously stocked with them, even if there's not much else to eat. He supposes that's the TARDIS working her telepathic powers to make sure the kitchen has the meal her driver loves so much.

He finishes his late breakfast and goes outside to see where the Doctor's gotten off to. He sees him sitting on the shore, watching the horizon. He walks up to him and ruffles his hair, smiling when the Doctor gives a cry of protest.

"What'd you do that for?" he asks.

"Had to get your attention somehow, didn't I?" he replies, sitting down next to the Doctor.

"A simple 'Hello' would've sufficed," the Doctor says.

"Now where's the fun in that?" he says and laughs.

The Doctor shakes his head, but smiles nonetheless. "You're impossible,"

"Not impossible, just highly unlikely," Jack says, giving the Doctor a smirk.

The two of them sit there in comfortable silence. The Doctor's absent-mindedly drawing patterns in the sand and staring out at the horizon, the wind blowing slightly, making his already messy hair even more of a mess, but he doesn't seem to notice or care. Jack reaches a hand out to brush the hair out of his face and the Doctor looks at him and smiles softly. Beautiful, Jack thinks, and then the Doctor's looking away shyly and he wonders if he accidently said his thought out loud. He leans forward and kisses the Doctor on his cheek, before pulling away and saying, "I'm sorry,"

"What for?" the Doctor says, looking a little confused.

"Before, when I snapped at you,"

"Oh. Well, you were upset. It was understandable, you don't have to apologize,"

"I do. I shouldn't have pushed you away like that,"

"It's alright. I just want to know….if you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. Just…nightmares, is all,"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jack's first instinct is to say, "No," and keep it to himself, like he usually does, and he knows that if he did the Doctor wouldn't push him, and just let it drop. He looks at the Doctor, patiently waiting for his reply, and Jack reconsiders. He takes a deep breath and starts talking, telling the Doctor about his dreams. His voice wavers at some points and he has to stop for a moment to breathe so that the emotions don't overwhelm him. The Doctor takes his hand and laces their fingers together, silently encouraging him to continue. So he does. The Doctor doesn't say anything while Jack is talking, only nods and squeezes his hand when it starts shaking. When he finishes, he sighs and runs his free hand through his hair.

"Thank you, for telling me," the Doctor finally says, after a long silence.

"Thanks, for listening, I guess," Jack replies. He's about to say something else, when he's engulfed in a tight hug, the Doctor's arms squeezing the air out of him.

Before he can say anything to him, he hears him whisper, "I'm sorry," in his ear. Jack doesn't know what to say, and just wraps his arms around the Doctor's shoulders, letting the hand caressing his back and the sound of the waves soothe him. Finally, after a while, they separate.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor repeats. "It's my fault, you were right, I wasn't there. I wasn't out saving the universe; I was just drifting around space, because I was still sad about losing Amy and Rory. I could've been there. I should've been there and I am so sorry that I wasn't, Jack,"

"Don't do that. Don't blame yourself. I know that I said it was your fault, when we met again in Cardiff, but I didn't mean it, I was just angry. You need time to mourn your friends too and there's no way you could've known what was happening anyway. And if you still feel the need to apologize to me, then it's important I say this. I forgive you,"

The Doctor sighs and it looks like part of the weight on his shoulders has lifted. Jack knows that he still feels bad for losing his companions, and for all the other things he wishes he could've done to help people, but letting him know that he's forgiven for what happened on Earth seems like it's made him feel a little bit better.

"Thank you, Jack. I-," he stops, looking like he doesn't know what to say next. Instead, he leans forward and kisses Jack softly, trying to communicate his feelings to the immortal. Jack's eyes flutter closed, and he brings his arms up to rest on the Doctor's shoulders. He feels something nudge at his consciousness and even though he hasn't spoken telepathically in a while, he recognizes the alien presence as the Doctor's. He opens his mind, letting the Doctor's thoughts and feelings in. He can feel the sadness and regret that the Time Lord is feeling, but also happiness and love. Jack knows that being able to communicate like this with the Doctor is a special privilege, because of how personal it is and it brings them closer together.

I'm going to need to breathe sometime soon, is the first thing that unconsciously comes to Jack's mind, and he can feel the Doctor's amusement at the thought.

Aw, that's too bad. I rather like kissing you, he hears the Doctor think and then they're pulling away. Now their mouths are free to talk, but Jack can still feel the link between their minds, and for the moment, he prefers communicating that way. They sit there, just talking and enjoying each other's company. They talk about nothing and everything, from the Doctor's past companions, to Jack's time at Torchwood, and a lot more. Jack doesn't realize how long they've been sitting there conversing until the sun is hovering above the water, casting an orange reflection across it.

It's going to get cold out soon. We should head back to the TARDIS. Hypothermia is definitely not on my top list of good ways to die.

I wouldn't imagine that it is, the Doctor replies. They both get up and he grabs Jack's hand before walking back to the TARDIS. He knows the Doctor can feel his joy at the action.

Your hand is so warm.

Hey, you're the one with the lower body temperature.

Oh, humans, thinking you're so normal. Most life forms have lower body temperatures. You are all just strangely hotter.

Don't you know it?

Just stop, would you?

Don't think I will.

What else is new?

The two bantered playfully for a time, smiling at each other and occasionally getting a few laughs out. Eventually, Jack grew tired, and yawned, letting go of the Doctor's hand to stretch his arms above his head.

Bed time? The Doctor's voice rings in his mind.

Don't really want to sleep. If I do, I'll end up having another nightmare, he thinks solemnly.

Stay with me? The Doctor's thought surprises him.

Are you sure?

Of course. You can sleep with me-

Oh?

Not in that way! Must you always think like that?

Teasing!

Anyway! You can stay with me, and if something happens, I'll be right there, okay?

Jack doesn't want to impose on the Doctor, but he hates the idea of another sleepless night alone in his room. He holds his hand out for the Doctor to take.

Lead the way, he thinks, smiling. The Doctor takes his hand and leads him down one of the corridors. He doesn't reply to the comment, but Jack can sense his amusement and can tell that he's rolling his eyes, even though he can't see his face.

The Doctor's room is huge and breathtaking. The ceiling is high and has designs painted onto it, somewhat resembling the Sistine Chapel, although Jack can guess that the circular patterns are probably Gallifreyan. Some of furniture, a desk, a wardrobe, and a large bookshelf, is made of mahogany wood, surfaces shining slightly. There's a couch and a chair that look comfortable, but the thing that really appeals to Jack is the large bed. The carpet has a nice design on it and is soft as he walks across it. There are windows that give a holographic view of the stars, since they're not always there on the outside of the ship.

"Wow," Jack breathes, unintentionally reverting back to communicating physically instead of telepathically.

"Yep," the Doctor says in agreement, flopping down on the bed, a big grin on his face.

"Wow," he repeats again and the Doctor laughs.

"Can it be? Has my amazing room left the great Captain Jack Harkness speechless?" he says.

"Hmm, very funny," Jack says sarcastically, walking over to look at the huge amount of books lining the bookshelf, reading the different titles, some in languages he doesn't recognize. "When do you find the time to read all these?"

"I have a time machine, Jack. What do you think? I could be in here for days reading and doing other things and to the outside world, it's only been five minutes," he says.

"True," Jack says. He gazes at the ceiling and asks, "Is that Gallifreyan?"

"Yes,"

"Thought so," Jack says, continuing to look at the circular text above him. The Doctor hears him murmur, "Wonder what it says," but he suspects that Jack's just talking to himself. Jack knows that the TARDIS doesn't translate the language of the Time Lords and he figures that the Doctor probably won't translate it either, but he can't help being a little curious.

When Jack wanders closer to the bed, the Doctor reaches out and pulls him down onto it. "Thought you were tired," he says.

"Eager to get me in your bed, Doctor?" Jack says, smiling suggestively at him. The Doctor just sighs and shakes his head, deciding that telling Jack to stop would be a futile effort. Instead, he does something very un-Doctor like that he thinks Jack isn't suspecting. He flirts back.

"You bet I am," he says, pulling the other man on top of him and, before he can lose his nerve, gives him a soft kiss. He laughs at the surprised expression on Jack's face.

"What? Didn't think I had it in me?" he asks.

"Honestly? No," Jack says, smiling. His initial reaction to the unexpected action fades quickly, and he leans down to kiss the Doctor again. They lay there for a while, just kissing. It's not needy or sexual, just soft and affectionate. I could get used to this, he thinks. After a bit, they both separate to breathe. Jack gets up so that he's not lying on top of the Doctor anymore and undresses until he's in a plain t shirt and boxers. He climbs back into the bed, slipping under the blankets and laying his head down on the pillow.

"I'm sleepy," he sighs, eyes heavy. He lets them close after he sees the Doctor get up and go to his closet, probably to change into his sleepwear. He feels the mattress compress when he comes back and then arms are wrapping around him, pulling him closer to the Doctor. He sighs again and snuggles into his side, resting his head on the other's chest. His twin hearts beat out a comforting rhythm that lulls him to a state of half-sleep.

"Don't tell anyone I like cuddling, or I'll hurt you," he mumbles.

"Empty threat, Jack," he hears the Doctor's sing-song voice. He gives a tiny smile and doesn't reply, too tired and comfortable to say anything.

He's almost asleep, and he assumed the Doctor was asleep too, until he feels a kiss pressed into his hair and an almost inaudible sentence from the Time Lord.

"I love you," the Doctor whispers, and Jack's eyes fly open, his whole body tense.

"What?" he chokes out, looking up at the Doctor's confused face.

"I-I said, 'I love you,'. Why? Is something wrong?" he asks. Jack sits up and sighs, running a hand through his hair restlessly, not replying. The Doctor sits up too, leaning back against the headboard.

"Jack? Did I say something I shouldn't have? Do you…not feel the same? Talk to me. Say something. Please…," he says. Jack looks and can see the pleading in his eyes, along with the fear that Jack doesn't feel the same, or worse, that he'll get angry and leave. But he would never do that, and he rushes to reassure him.

"No, you didn't say something wrong. It's just…," Okay, deep breath. "the last person who said that to me was Ianto," he finishes in a rush.

"Oh," is all the Doctor says. He looks down and wrings his hands nervously.

"But listen," Jack waits for the Doctor to meet his eyes, "I'm not upset. Okay? I'm not. I just wasn't….expecting it. That's all,"

"Yeah," the Doctor replies, voice catching on the single word. "You still haven't said, if you feel the same. It was hard for me to say, but you just looked so peaceful and I just loved being able to lay there and hold you. And I wanted to say it, and I thought, 'Hey, maybe now would be a good time,' but now I've gone and messed things up and I-I'm sorry be-,"

Jack cuts him off with a tight hug. "Don't apologize for saying it. Don't, okay?" he says, squeezing the Doctor's shoulders. He lets go and takes the smaller hands in his. He looks straight into the other's eyes and can see all the uncertainty and doubt in them. In his head, he makes a decision. It's time to let go of Ianto, he thinks. Not forget, though, never forget, but he knows that Ianto wouldn't have wanted him to be sad and never love anyone else because of his death.

"I love you too, Doctor," he says, leaning forward and kissing the Doctor on his forehead. "I love you, so, so much,"

The Doctor lets go of the breath he was holding and smiles at Jack, eyes slightly watery. He blinks and a tear slips out of his eye, running down his cheek. Jack lets go of one of the Doctor's hands and reaches a finger up to brush it away.

"Well, I think, um, we should, uh, get some sleep?" he says hesitantly. Jack smiles and pulls him down onto the bed with him.

"Certainly," he replies, laying his head on the Doctor's chest and letting the other's arms wrap around him again.

"I love you, Jack. Good night," he says, rubbing Jack's shoulders slightly.

"Love you, Doc," Jack replies, finally closing his eyes and letting the heartbeats of the Time Lord lull him to sleep.

He has no nightmares that night.

A/N 2: Finally! This is only four chapters, but I took a long time to write them because school kept getting in the way and I was trying to find time to write this. I feel like that last chapter was kinda bad though, but oh well, it took me too long to go back and fix it. This thing was about 22 pages on Microsoft Word (I typed the whole thing on one document), so thank you for reading all of them :) Actually, this is the longest chapter, although it didn't seem like it at first. Ah well.

Hope you enjoyed reading my story, as good or as bad as it was!