Dean carried the guy out of goddamn Purgatory in his goddamn arm, but there were gonna have to be limits on what he'd let Benny do.

Driving his baby turned out to be that limit.

Keep his vampire batterypak in the back seat, fine. Change the station on the radio every now and again, Dean wasn't gonna complain (too much). Take the extra bed in the double room Dean ordered by habit every damn time (Sammy would get over himself sooner or later)? To be honest, Dean was happy for the extra set of reflexes.

But fuck him, Benny was not, not getting behind the wheel of his car.

"You just fell asleep packing up."

Nope.

"Dean, unless you squeezed in at least five hours in the fifteen minutes I set up that tripwire in the storage unit, you haven't slept in three days."

"You are not driving my car."

"Then it looks like we're staying put."

"I can make it fifteen goddamn minutes to the hotel!"

"Not without these you can't!"

Lo and behold, from a grubby set of thieving fingers dangled Dean's keys. The crook flashed exactly the skeezy grin that left Dean so loathe to trust the guy all those months ago, giving the keys a taunting little jingle. In Dean's sleep-deprived stupor he could only really focus on the keys and the teeth, but that was a level of tired he wasn't about to admit to. Not when this bastard was about to stick Dean in bitchseat and change all the mirrors and seat settings on his baby. And was so damn happy about it.

"Give 'em, you toothy sunovabitch."

Said sunovabitch just shook his head, adopting an expression equal parts joker and martyr. "Brother," he said. The damn magic word, so far as Dean was concerned. Right in the gut. "Contrary to what you might believe right now, I am not a magical wish-granting unicorn. When you drive into oncoming traffic, all the king's horses and men cannot put you or your car or, more importantly, me back together again." Sunovabitch pocketed the damn keys. "So no. You, my friend, are not driving again until you get some shut-eye."

Fine.

"Fine," Dean huffed. Even though it was fifteen measley minutes. "But neither are you!" Finding his stroke of genius for the day, Dean tore the driver's door open with way-more-force-in-his-mind-than-actually-happened and flung himself with petulance abounding into the driver's seat.

He woke up on his bed to the horrifying slurping sound of Benny mid-bloodbag, to the TV dramatically announcing in Maury's voice that some poor sap is the father!

"Damnit, Benny! How many times?!"