Dead or Alive Xtreme: Retreat to Paradise!

Me: It's been a while. Um, I don't think I have an excuse here, so, uh, yeah. It's just been pure laziness. Yep. I appreciate everyone who's read my fanfic so far, and I shall continue updating. I'M NOT DEAD YET! So, yeah.

8:30am – in the restaurant ...

Briskly walking over near the terrace of the restaurant, Zack and Niki flamboyantly flipped open a cabinet to reveal a hoard of fishing rods, bait boxes, buckets and all that lovely stuff.

"And here's your breakfast utensils!" exclaimed Zack excitedly, trying to improve the mood.

Obviously failing, of course.

"Um, are you guys sure about the supplies not being there ...?" requested Kokoro meekly.

"Uhhm ... well ... isn't easier just to fish for brekky? And if you don't catch anything, you won't get breakfast!" replied Zack in a nervous tone, a bead of sweat running precariously down his face.

"More like, wasn't there food on the plane? Can't we just eat that?" said Leifang, rather peeved at the rubbish service.

"ANYWAY! Just take a rod, a box, and a bucket and follow me!" yelled Zack suddenly, hastily taking a rod and a box for himself and walking off to the terrace. The others were a bit more divided as to what to do. After a few minutes of moaning, everyone eventually relented and took some fishing equipment and followed Zack down a path from the terrace, slowly winding down a sandy hill. At the bottom, the sea came into sight and a well-varnished dock protruded from the warm sand. It was really quite a sight, what with the morning sun bathing the area in a soft glow and the rhythmic, gentle lapping of the waves against the shores.

"Ahh. It's kinda nostalgic, isn't it?" commented Kasumi, her eyes wistfully gazing towards the horizon.

"Yeah ... it is," murmured Ayane softly, her mind going back to her childhood days with Kasumi, fishing merrily in the nearby river.

"Alrighty guys! So, uh, fish away!" instructed Zack, as he magically spun around into his alien costume and tried to use the pink-glowy light thing on his head to attract some fish ... which seemingly worked, actually.

The ninjas all took the furthermost end of the dock, with Kasumi consciously avoiding Hayate – their fight hadn't exactly been resolved yet, so those two were basically ignoring each other's existence.

"So how many fish do you think you're gonna catch, Ryu?" queried Hayate with a boyish smirk.

"Heh. Do you even need to ask?" quipped Hayabusa, his eyes shifting over to Hayate with a competitive fire blazing in both ninjas. Out of the blue, the two stripped off their jinbei (Japanese houseclothes), save for their underpants, and quite literally jumped into the water, beginning their hunt for breakfast. Kasumi grinned at the sight of the old ways to catch fish, and quickly did the same (catching the eyes of all the guys in the process of course).

"Come on, Ayane! The water's warm!" beckoned Kasumi.

"But I just did my beauty treatments last night!" whined Ayane in return.

"Oh, never mind that! And besides, can't you just do it again later?"

"Urgh ... you're buying me something from the body shop later!"

"Sure thing!"

And then Ayane threw off her clothes, and jumped into the water as well. Meanwhile, other amusing things were happening with the others. Leifang and Kokoro, the latter still dyed in a brilliant shade of purple from Ayane's revenge, were just sitting on the dock in dead silence, their feet barely touching the water. They just wanted a nice, scrumptious breakfast to kick off the day, but noooo. Breakfast just had to not be there. On top of that, they had to catch their own breakfast? How scandalous! ... well, not really, but they had expected better service than this.

"Hey guys, you know you have to fish to get your own breakfast, right?" said Hitomi gently, trying not to agitate her friends.

"Yeah," replied Kokoro in an low, grumpy tone.

"This place is really starting to piss me off," muttered Leifang under her breath, her eyes flicking over to Zack's stupid visage.

It was pretty obvious that they weren't willing to fish yet ... at least, not until they were desperate and starving and all that.

"Hey Hitomi ..." whispered Leifang not-so-discreetly.

"Hmm?"

"Can you spare me and Kokoro a fish or two?"

"No! Just go catch your own!" retorted Hitomi a little too loudly, making everyone turn to the girls and *tsk-tsk* all judgmental-like, especially Jann Lee who gave Leifang a pretty convincing "I am so disappointed in you" look. Which promptly fired Leifang up, and actually got to her to equip her fishing rod and cast out her line with an impressive spirit. Meanwhile, Lisa and Tina were nodding to themselves and squee'd on the inside as their JannxLeifang shipping got some nice material though they quickly resumed their fishing. Along with Mila, the three wrestler girls seemed to be pretty nonchalant about breakfast having to be fished – Tina had apparently been used to it, Lisa being pretty calm and mature about everything, and Mila actually liked fishing. After embarasssing Leifang, Hitomi decided to join with them, though she was quietly approached by a somewhat meek-looking Helena.

"Erm, could you help me for a moment?" requested Helena in a soft voice, a little embarassed herself.

"Sure, what is it?"

"I haven't been fishing in a while, and I've forgotten how to, well, you know,"

"Oh right, um. So here's ... thisthisthatthatthingytomakefishingworkblahblah ... and there we go!"

"Thank you. May I fish with you?" asked Helena elegantly.

"Yeah, sure! I'll help you some more if you need it," responded Hitomi brightly, her warm nature making Helena feel quite comfortable. The girls in general seemed to be quite lucky with their catches, actually - most of the time, you could hear someone yelling out "Ah, I've got one!" followed by a splishing sound and then a plunk as the fish was chucked into a bucket. On the other side of the docks ... the guys were being pretty uneventful.

Bass and Eliot were awkwardly standing next to each other as they quietly fished. Well, when I say that, I technically mean that Eliot caught a fish pretty much every minute or so, whilst Bass merely stood there, and stared at the unmoving water, slowly getting pissed at how terrible his luck seemed to be as of late. After about a few minutes, Bass was well and truly dumbfounded.

"How're you doin' that?" growled Bass, his aggression not-on-purpose, but it still showed anyhow.

"Erm, I'm not entirely sure either. I guess the fish just like me or something," answered Eliot.

"Huh."

"If you like, I can help you out for a bit."

"Nah, I'll be fine."

"Okay then."

...

...

...

About 30 minutes passed, and Bass didn't catch a single fish. WHY?! ... was what Bass was asking in his head. Meanwhile, Eliot's bucket was practically full and Gen Fu was being all proud and whatnot. The jealousy was really starting to hit the roof and was enough to make Bass relent.

"Uhh, I could do with the help right about now."

"Oh, sure. Mr Armstrong, the way you've been doing this has been scaring the fish off for a while now, so you do it like ... thisthisthatthatthingytomakefishingworkblahblah ... and there it is."

"Oh, right. Thanks, uh, Eliot," thanked Bass, unusually grateful. At first, Bass thought of Eliot as ... well, pretty pathetic and scrawny. Buuuut, just a tiny bit of respect had been gained for Eliot. Maybe he was a pretty good kid after all.

About five minutes later however ...

"WHOA! I'VE GOT A BIG ONE!" bellowed Bass, as he vigorously tugged on the rod and spun the line up as fast as he humanly could and then some. With a beastly roar, Bass jerked the rod in a powerful movement, lifting up his prized catch, a massive specimen which flew through the air, about the size, length, and width of a man ... who was screaming in pain and cursing using all kinds of revolutionary swear words. The thing landed on Bass oh-so-gracefully and began wildly flopping about.

Bass had managed to catch a wild Brad Wong.

"W-what the?!" spluttered Bass, shocked that his catch turned out to be that annoying drunk guy who tried to grope Tina.

"Brad! What on earth were you doing?! More like, why were you in the water?" chastised Eliot.

"Uhh ... well, we're fishing, right? So, I did the thing that the ninja guys did ...oh and then there was this shiny thing and I grabbed it and I was, like, flung out here. What gives?"

"Well, we may as well roast him anyway," deadpanned Bass as he threw Brad over his shoulder and proceeded to walk back up the hill to the restaurant, with the Chinese man kicking and screaming along the way.

... so did anyone notice Christie and Bayman missing? Hmm. Well anyway.

Around 10:00am ...

After suddenly realising that a little west of the docks was a whole thicket full of tropical fruit plants, everyone (first groaned at Zack's stupidity) rushed over to collect their breakfast. From papayas to mangoes, and dragonfruit, and lychee – basically, a whole range of exotic fruits. Zack really outdid himself with the fruit plants, actually. The not-used buckets (or rather, the buckets of those who didn't actually catch anything) were used to store the fruit and everyone walked contently back to the restaurant ...

... to find Christie and Bayman dining silently on a gorgeous, gourmet breakfast. Everyone was kind of in shock, whilst the two assassins merely took it in without even batting an eyelash.

"Um ... so where did you guys get the food ...?" asked Hitomi.

Christie jerked her head to the left ... which lead to the kitchen doors. Which had a whole bunch of crates inside with big Zack insignias on it. How suspicious. Using his love-love beam, Zack unpacked the crates and stored the food contents in the various stainless-steel fridges/pantries/freezers/whatnot.

"That was just stupid. All of this is," mumbled Ayane.

"So what, we did all that fishing and fruit getting for nothing?" seethed Leifang.

"Well anyway, let's just use the stuff we got earlier for breakfast. Time to make food!~" said Hitomi cheerfully.

At around 10:30am ...

In the end, most people pulled in to make their own breakfast in the kitchen, though ... there were a few who just sat in a seat and expected someone to make something for them *coughAyanecoughLeifangcough*. Of course, there was the occasional mishap (Eliot dropping a few plates after brushing against Kasumi's chesticles, or Gen Fu getting locked in the freezer by accident) but for the most part, fun was had and breakfast was eventually served! After sitting down and voraciously eating their well-deserved breakfast, Zack hopped up in the centre of the table area and drew attention once more.

"So guys and guuuurls! To celebrate the hard work you did this morning, let me and Niki introduce you to Zack Island's famous BEACH VOLLEYBALL! Oh, but first! " proclaimed Zack, who madly beckoned for everyone to follow him (and they all did somewhat reluctantly) to a large, beach-themed hut. Inside, was an incredibly long swimsuit rack.

"Here's this lovely selection of swimsuits to wear!"

"W-wait, then what are the guys gonna wear?" asked Bass.

"Oh, just go stark naked!" giggled Zack creepily.

Me: Yes. The guys will totally go around playing beach volleyball in the nude. Because that is totally appropriate. Heh.

... nah.