For Miss Twiggy in our 3-Part Trade.

Ahem.

This is 'A Serious Look In A Silly Man'

By, me, Kefka Palazzo, AKA Psycho Clown.

I remember stuff like the day I was born...well, save for the dull bits in my early life. Let's see, I used to be boring and straight-laced. To my horror, I might have been an accountant for some sort of bank. Maybe a orphan forced into a early adulthood, that cliché? I don't remember that as much as the later memories, though I do know one thing. I was ugly. And weak. Two qualites that I preferred were on others.

Thankfully, I was taken to a lab where my brain was given a much needed upgrade. Ah, the wonder of power, and it felt great. Sure, I woke up and screamed out a note that not only broke the glass, but also on my sanity. Eh, like the windows, it was ugly and not needed.

So, the first Magitek Knight was also a clown. People laughed at me. I laughed with them. And then ordered them to do something tedious and boring for the next five hours, as I quickly became the Emperor's right hand man, a title I hated but loved the benefits. How did I get here?

Oh, good old rat extermination. A servant of my 'employer' wished to do away with the old fart, something I wanted to do and did. He tried to use the traditional method of bumping off, put poison powder in the wine glass, with a fake ring holding the powder. Of course, doing the deed in front of the Emperor could have been avoided. Those lovely soldiers (And by lovely, I mean beyond useless.) couldn't catch him, so it was up to me.

I cornered him in a old house that had a huge hole in it. He was panicking, throwing anything he could get his paws on. Heck, dude tried to kill me, ME, with a pen! In a demonstration of powers, I froze his legs and slapped a couple times, telling him his actions against me would only add to his execution. He got brave, and told me the usual rah-rah, the empire is evil, and the world is better off, blahblah. I was getting bored, so I decided to do this myself.

With glee, I showed him just how much of a worm he was by killing him with said pen.I could have burned his insides, froze and shattered more body parts, fried his brain, or let the earth and the building swallow him, but that? That was a waste of power. I would cast, and he would be dead. No fun or sense in that.

During the act, in between me laughing and him screaming, I stopped and thought, hey, this guy died doing nothing. He tried to kill his master, the emperor, and failed. He ran from luxury and died in damp conditions, and was killed by a mere thing. A thing that was probably used by a kid to write a list of things he wanted for his birthday.

And that was funny.

I sat down the corpse (On the side I didn't stab and made sure my boots didn't rest in any puddles of blood.) and thought about things. Like, how did this fly get this far in this meaningless life? What convinced him to try to kill the world's second most important man? Why did he think he would succeed? Where did his bravado come from? And where did it go?

I laughed, and laughed harder before burning down the place. It felt great, controlling a life and doing away with it. I watched the fires die down and returned, with the ring of the man as proof.

I became the right-hand of the Emperor, and became 'buddies' with a general. I got a bigger room with higher-class furniture, servants loyal to the end of thier sad lives, and many more things. I could retire and live my days out on my scented Chocobo pillows, but that would seem to be...well, boring, in case you didn't get the past couple remarks about things being boring.

I guess I'm a go-getter. Good. I like to destroy things. I'm simple. Just destroy. No need to worry about small or big details, just destroy. Why help, I rather destroy.

Destroy.

Destroy.

Destroy!

Thank you for your time.