The Meaning Of Life

Bobby yawns outwardly as he balances his chair on its back legs. He looks around at Scott reading a book and Warren daydreaming as they all sit in silence in the professor's office. A room that they do not usually hangout in unless doing their individual study with the Professor or being reprimanded for their reckless teenage decisions.

However this time Hank insisted that they all meet him there, claiming that whatever he had to present to them was urgent. Bobby was surprised that Scott hadn't brought along pen and paper to take notes on whatever it is that Hank had apparently discovered.

"Finally!" Bobby cried out when Hank came walking into the room holding a stack of somewhat crumpled notebook paper that he had incessantly brainstormed on.

"I apologize for my tardiness but I do believe that it is well worth the wait." Hank adjusted his glasses with a small smile on his face, the look in his eyes getting Warren's attention.

"Did you find the cure to cancer or something?" Bobby asked, fully believing that that was well within the parameter of possibilities when Hank was the researcher in question.

"And if you did," Warren started. "I surely hope you didn't go blabbing it off on your message boards. Do you have any idea how much a cure could be worth? I mean the endorsements alone!" Warren set back in his chair, already getting overwhelmed by the fantasies of his possible capital venture.

"I mean we could totally retire from superhero-ing. If we found the cure to cancer but ignored everyone who might need the help of O'Fearless and the mighty X-men...the numbers would totally even out." Bobby nodded in agreement.

"You two are a few spots away from being the worst human beings I know." Scott closed his book, speaking in a monotone voice. Bobby threw his arms out in protest as he turned towards Scott.

"Who beat us?!"

"No no, this is not about any pending cure." Hank pulled everyone's attention back to him.

"Pending?"

"This," Hank pulled out a dry erase marker and turned to the white board behind him ignoring Warren's question. "Is about a very important and yet perplexing question that you asked of me Robert." Bobby thought back on important questions he had recently asked Hank.

"Uhh how come Twinkies can survive a nuclear holocaust?"

"No."

"How someone got a stick that far up Scott's butt?"

"Not quite."

"If the female orga…"

"Stop talking." Scott finally interjected and shut Bobby up. Hank turned back to the whiteboard and began to write: 'What is the meaning of life?'

"Oh this better be good." Warren crossed his legs.

"I certainly believe it is. I actually thought long and hard on an answer to your inquiry. I even suspended all work of my current research to be able to give you some what of an answer to the question that you so innocently pondered."

"And your conclusion?" Scott leaned forward in his chair curiously. Again Hank turned to the board and wrote 'Where x is life, x=?'

"My conclusion is that this is not a question." Hank pauses and turns to face the three boys before he continued. "Life doesn't have a meaning."

"Well that's depressing." Bobby interrupted.

"But let me finish. Life doesn't have a meaning because it is only an object or rather...an empty shell. There is no meaning to life, only a definition. A definition qualified by scientific characteristics, or judges in some special cases. It's defined as some form of breathing and sustaining and energy and what not."

"I think I'm confused." Bobby interrupted again and Hank goes to the board, underlining 'x=?'

"You can not simply ask what does x equal. That doesn't mean anything to anyone. You can however ask what does x+7 equal. With a qualifier, something to add or subtract or change x, life, in someway it gets a little easier." Hank pauses again to three confused faces. "What I'm saying is that life is always the same, it is constant for every person. We breathe, we eat, we sleep et cetera et cetera. But different variables get inserted, hence plus 7 or what have you, and change our final answer. And those variables are what make us...us. Our personalities, our traits. How you enjoy playing pranks and causing mischief, I enjoy research, Scott thinks highly of discipline. So my point is, the meaning of life changes for everyone based on what they add to the exact same equation, and seeing as how no one adds the exact same things in the exact same way, the meaning or our final answer is different for everyone. So in order to solve your question dear Bobby, you must not look directly at the answer or your constant of x, but rather at what variables you put In between those things that are important enough to you to even be placed there. If you can find out what truly matters to you, then you can find out the meaning of your own life."

Scott and Warren both nod in understanding once Hank has finished, Bobby however has somewhat of a confused look still. He turns his head slightly and whispers over to Warren as if Hank can neither see or hear him.

"Can we still sell that?"

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