Sometimes, in the dark, she swears that she can see her.
She can see that thin, curveless frame hunched over a book, devouring every word as if she didn't already know everything. If she stays quiet enough, she swears that she can hear the pages turning in the silence.
Usually her tears end up drowning out the sound.
xx
Sometimes, in the dark, she swears that she can see her.
She can see her ridiculously perfect blond curls, bouncing about after lights out, struggling to find just the right outfit to wear the next day to impress Fiyero. If she's quiet enough, she can hear her humming to herself and carrying on some fake conversation with an invisible Prince.
Usually, the sound fades when that same Prince asks her what she's thinking about.
xx
Sometimes, she wishes that she could forget.
It would be easier that way, to simply revert to the girl she was before it all happened. When she was still Galinda with a 'Ga' and her life was about boys and clothes and that ridiculous sense of entitlement that she used to have.
Elphaba had changed her more than she'd ever be able to tell her, especially now that she was gone.
xx
Sometimes, she wishes that she could forget.
It would be easier that way, to simply revert to the girl who dreamt of being a normal color, who saw the Wonderful Wizard of Oz as a good person. The girl who didn't believe that love or happiness would ever belong to her.
Glinda had changed her and she longed to tell her.
xx
Sometimes, she travels to Kiamo Ko.
It was an old rumor, a fable about the hidden passageways and trapdoors. Many had proclaimed, even scrawled on walls that Elphaba had lived. The first time, she believed it true. She tore through the castle, determined to find her best friend, sure that she could find a way to clear her name.
It was just an old rumor.
Now she lies on the floor, the very spot where she lost the best friend she'd ever had.
Sometimes she wonders if the tears will ever stop.
xx
Sometimes, she travels to Kiamo Ko.
If Fiyero knew, he'd be so angry with her. Everything they've done, the lives they've established in Quox, the hell that they've been through to finally be happy, she could dash it all in a moment's time. But there was a rumor, a fable about Glinda the Good who'd frequent the Vinkus, an ambassador of all of Oz- to the naked eye. Others insisted that she searched for the fallen Witch for various reasons, a vendetta for the Winkie Prince she lost, a frantic search for a friend.
Elphaba knew it was more than a rumor.
She hears Glinda's tears and she emerges into the shadows, shrouded by darkness just enough that she could be no more than a trick of the light. No matter how badly she wants to reach out to her, she know that she cannot.
Even if she were to do so, the tears will never stop and they will never regain what's lost.
Instead, her whisper is carried on the wind to the weeping blond woman.
xx
Sometimes, in the dark, she thinks she can see her.
She looks up to the windows of the turret, gazes longingly at the shadows, reaches out as if she can see Elphaba there. Just as suddenly the shadows are gone but her voice floats on the wind, quiet and sad but peaceful at the same time. Glinda dries her tears with the back of her hand, closes her eyes and listens.
"I miss you. You changed my life. Don't spend yours mourning mine. I'm here. I'm safe. I'm happy. Please be happy too."
The tears stop falling, Glinda stands, and she promises to try her best.
Sometimes, that's all we can do.