A/N: SpiritHolly issued a challenge to write a one shot where Bella tells Alice off. A bonus would be if Rose was put in her place and Edward somehow got Emmett to shut up about their sex life. Esme is all my doing because she is entirely too nice in the books. This is what I came up with – Enjoy.

BPOV

I was not looking forward to having this conversation, again. I love Edward with everything in me, but sometimes, love just isn't enough. Did I want to walk away, no, but I would if things didn't change. He needed to stand up to his family. It is the night before our wedding and I truly have no idea if I will be getting married in the morning or not. Let me explain.

Edward and I met two years ago, I was in the last year of graduate school for Library Science, I wanted to be a librarian. Edward had just been promoted to Vice President at Cullen Trust, the investment company founded by his great-great-grandfather. A party was being thrown to celebrate his promotion and I was one of the servers assigned to cover his group.

In hindsight, I should have seen the warning signs that night, but I didn't. I thought his mother and sisters had planned the party and that is why they were so…demanding. I should have taken the fact that he didn't seek me out until the next day as a sign, but I didn't. I knew he had watched me most of the night, but he wasn't interacting with anyone unless they approached him, I mistook that for shyness.

Those first six months were in a word, blissful. Edward knew I was in the process of having my first novel published and editing had started on the second in the series. I knew that he hated his position in the family business and secretly wanted to pursue music. We shared our pasts, secrets, and desires with each other, we fell in love.

After six months I formally met his family, it was…interesting. It was obvious they remembered me as 'that waitress'. His father, Carlisle, was very nice and interested with the fact the was a Librarian at the main branch of the Seattle Library and oversaw the rare books there. His mother, Esme, and his sisters, Rosalie and Alice, were less impressed.

For the next few months, the three women spent their time letting me know exactly how much I would never fit into their world. They were very worried about how the 'social elite' of Seattle saw them and telling me that Cullen women paved the way for what others wore or what was in. I thought it was a load of crap. I dressed appropriately when Edward and I went out, or attended one of his business dinners. However, because I couldn't tell them the name of the designer I was wearing, they assumed I was a fashion idiot. I wasn't, it just didn't matter as much to me as to them. Thank god, I only saw them a handful of times, and always in public.

I asked Edward about their apparent fascination with fashion and my lack of knowledge about it, he didn't seem concerned. I could afford the clothes and wore them to his business and charity functions, but I bought what made me feel good and was comfortable. I didn't buy things based solely on the name of the designer. Edward told me not to worry about them, he ignored them and I should too. That worked until six months ago, when on Christmas morning Edward dropped to one knee and proposed. Once they found out about the engagement, I had three women constantly trying to run my life. I also discovered that Edward ignored them not because he ran his own life, but because he was a momma's boy and did what he was told.

The morning Edward proposed, before his family found out, he asked what type of wedding I wanted. When I described the small, intimate wedding I desired, he sighed wistfully and responded 'that would be great'. I took his statement as confirmation he would help rein in his family, it would not be my last misconception of the level of control his mother and sisters' held over him.

I wanted a fall wedding. The changing leaves would be a beautiful backdrop for the outdoor wedding I envisioned. Edward and I loved the Japanese Garden at the University and it would be alive with color that time of year. I understood Esme would want to show off to her society friends so I was going to offer to have the large reception she would want, wherever she wanted and plaster a smile on my face for the event.

Alice hosted a family dinner to 'kick off', as she called it, the wedding planning. It was an eye opener. Edward's parents, Esme and Carlisle, Alice and her husband Jasper, his other sister, Rosalie and her husband, Emmett, as well as his one surviving grandparent, Elizabeth Masen-Cullen, were all in attendance. I had never met his grandmother before and she was a hoot, in a very good way.

The first snag happened to be the first item we discussed, the date. They went on and on about a holiday wedding and I wasn't able to get a word in, until Elizabeth let out a high pitch whistle that had everyone's attention.

"She doesn't want a holiday wedding Esme. Maybe you should listen to the girl."

With that statement, three pairs of eyes turned to me, waiting for me to clarify her statement. I told them of the wedding I wanted, in the fall, at the Japanese Gardens. The look on their faces when I described what I wanted didn't go unnoticed; it was not what they had in mind.

"That sounds lovely Isabella, but not really befitting a Cullen. A holiday themed wedding is much more appropriate and will make us the talk to the town for the season." Esme told me, and I had no idea how to respond to her remark. It was our wedding, not one of her social climbing events.

"Let her have the date Esme." Elizabeth said as she left the table.

I left that day thinking I had won a major victory and the rest would be easy. Looking back, I was so naïve, I'm not like that now, but I learned these lessons the hard way.

I had dinners like the first every Sunday for three months, it was nerve wracking and nothing ever seemed to be agreed upon. Then I received a phone call from a harried woman at the Fairmont concerning the need to reschedule a meeting to discuss the reception menu. Turns out her boss had been in a car accident and wouldn't be able to make it that afternoon. She tried to reach Mrs. Cullen and when she couldn't she tracked me down, through the phone book, and couldn't understand how my number wasn't in the file.

I understood and was furious. It wasn't that decisions hadn't been made, it was that I hadn't been a part of the process. As I thought back over those meetings, I wondered what sort of monstrosity they were planning.

I spoke to Edward about what I was sure was happening, hoping for some insight into how to control them. What I got were a bunch of platitudes about this being important to them, how they would back off once we were married, and why didn't I just let them have their fun and roll with it. I was stunned into silence, not a clue how to respond to those comments.

Here I am engaged to a man that most Seattle businessmen don't want to piss off and it was almost as if he was scared of his mommy. I could not for the life of me figure out their dynamic, but I loved this man with every fiber in my being and was willingly to make the effort, for him.

Another three months passed and I attended every Sunday dinner. I sat in the Cullen's sunroom and listened to every detail of the wedding, my wedding, and I was right, they were planning the most garish wedding imaginable. I continued my grin and bear it attitude until I heard them talking about decorating the house Esme and Carlisle wanted to buy us as a wedding gift. I looked around the room I was sitting and knew I would never be able to live in a house decorated by anyone in Edward's family. It may have been classic, but to me it was stuffy as hell and not a place I could raise children.

It was at one of those dinners in June when Elizabeth pulled me off to the side before I had a chance to join the circus show, as I unaffectionately referred to wedding Esme was planning.

Elizabeth gave it to me straight, her no nonsense attitude was the thing I loved most about her. She filled me in on the family dynamic, who Esme Platt had been and why she is the way, she is now. We talked for hours as I learned the history of the Cullen family and all their dirty little secrets. She then said something that still sticks with me, and I'm positive she doesn't realize how to heart I took her advice.

"Esme will never accept you Bella, never. You are not the one she wants Edward marrying, she wants him back with Tanya, she doesn't care that Tanya cheated or that Edward doesn't love her. Tanya is just as much of a manipulative bitch as she is and wants someone she can control. She can't control you Bella, and she knows it. She is also scared of the hold you have over Edward." I was shocked by her statement.

"Oh yes Bella, that boy loves you and it scares her to death. I know he doesn't stand up against what she wants very often but he will, for you, if you force his hand. Plan the wedding you want, buy the house you want, and then force Edward to make a choice. He will choose you, I'm sure of it. Is it risky, yes, but it is the only way for the two of you to live your lives on your own terms."

I took every word Elizabeth spoke that day to heart, and started planning my own wedding. I bought a house and decorated it the way I wanted. I refused to start or live our lives with Esme Cullen calling the shots, deep down, I prayed at night that Elizabeth was right about Edward.

In our years together Esme and company had never taken an interest in my life, so I'm sure they would be surprised to know I had my own money. While I was still a librarian, I was also a published author, under a penname, two on the bestseller list. Edward was aware, of course, but most of his family was oblivious, not for long.

Last night was the rehearsal and dinner, I was right, it was a mess. The church was wall to pink, three different shades. It looked like someone threw pepto bismal all over the walls. Since my parents had died when I was young, Esme wanted Carlisle's creepy Uncle Aro, to walk me down the aisle. My dress was both poufy and slutty at the same time, something I didn't think was possible, but it was hand sewn in Paris so it must be fashionable. It was decided Alice would be my matron of honor, I knew none of the bridesmaids, and was not at all surprised to see Tanya was one of them. Although, Edward was.

As we went through the motions, I watched Edward, closely. I watched as he looked around with confusion, none of this was me or us for that matter. I think he was starting to open his eyes and realize that fact. Not one of the people in the wedding party or at dinner are my friends.

I kept my attention focused on Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett, hoping to gain some insight into how they put up with these women. The answer was alcohol, lots of alcohol. Emmett enjoys making rude comments about Edward and I's sex life, or what he considers a lack of it. It has always upset me and Edward has always refused to shut him up. Not anymore, if Edward won't stop him, I will. Might as well get an early start on pissing off the new family.

Emmett was on his fourth scotch and not touching his dinner I might add. He was getting loud and belligerent when Alice decided to tell me she had packed my bag for the honeymoon and Edward could thank her later. One comment, that one comment was all it took.

"I doubt that Alice. Edward's stuffy ass probably won't know what to do with her when he finally gets Bella naked." He was aiming for an eyebrow wiggle, but he looked cross-eyed more than anything.

"Either you shut him or I will." I leaned over and whispered to Edward.

"Bella, he doesn't mean anything…"

"No Edward, either you find some way to shut him up or I'll tell the room what happened a few weeks ago." Edward looked confused for a moment. "On the ferry." His eyes went wide. "I have had enough of his shit, stop him Edward."

"That's okay Eddie. Later tonight I'll give you the birds and the bees talk." The asshole said and laughed.

"That won't be necessary Emmett. Bella and I do just fine and please stop commenting on our sex life."

"Sure you do." Emmett snorted. "Can you even find her puss…"

"So a few weeks ago, when Edward and I were on the ferry…" I cut Emmett off.

"Emmett you will stop making rude comments on our sex life." Edward spoke over me in a loud and authoritative voice, eyes wide.

"Or what? You'll bore me to death. Probably boring in the sack too. Can you even find your dick?" Emmett mumbled and I noticed Rose was no longer beside him. We did however have the attention of everyone else at the table.

"Anyway," I started again, looking at Esme. "It was a nice day and no one was in the car hold. Edward loves the idea of public s…" That's all I got out before he was interrupting me again.

"I'll tell Rose about the long lunches with Bree, your assistant." Edward all but shouted. "She won't like you fucking your assistant. I mean, it is so common."

Emmett choked on his drink and looked around the room. Everyone knew he was screwing Bree, everyone but Rose. She thought she had him too whipped to do something like that. People were shocked because Edward called him on the affair, not because he was having one.

"What were you saying about Edward and the ferry?" Esme questioned as Rose approached the table.

I looked to Edward, his eyes pleading with me not to tell the fact that he loves to have public sex on the hood of his Volvo in the car hold on the ferry. I snuck a glance at Emmett; he was busy looking into his drink like someone had just kicked him. Edward did shut him up, I guess.

"I don't remember Esme, maybe it'll come back to me." I didn't miss the huff or eye roll she gave me as she turned to talk to someone else.

Now, I'm in the tub, hoping Edward understood what I was saying to him last night. More than that, I'm praying he loves me enough to do what is necessary. If he is, it will forever change the dynamic of the family and his relationship with them. I know we could be great together. I hope he thinks that future is worth the confrontation that is coming, if he doesn't leave me standing at the altar. I wish I knew what the look on his face meant as I climbed out of the car.

"I have to ask Bella, the wedding party, the colors, the way the church is decorated…" I knew what he was trying to say, but he needed to actually ask the question. "Is all of that, hell, is any of that what you agreed too? It seems so, so…" he sighed, "not you."

"I have been saying this for months Edward, they aren't listening to me. NO, none of it is what I want. It is what your mother and sisters decided our wedding would be, over my objections. I wasn't just whining or bitching when I told you they were out of hand. To be honest, I can't believe you didn't notice." I looked out the window, "or maybe you expect me, us, to play second fiddle to what your mother wants all the time."

I heard his sharp intake of breath and was glad we had arrived at my apartment. I didn't want to discuss the next part, I wanted to leave him with something to think about.

"Edward, I did plan the wedding I want, the one we talked about in the very beginning. Remember?"

"Yes." He said, but sounded confused.

"Here's the thing, I refuse to live our married lives doing what your family wants, especially your mother or sisters. I'm sorry honey but they can be very manipulative and your sisters, bitch barely begins to describe them. Having said that I want to be your wife more than anything Edward, I love you, but I won't marry you on their terms." I saw the panic in his eyes.

"Stop Edward, stop thinking and just listen to me. As I said, I planned the wedding we both want, for tomorrow morning. I invited our closest friends. If you remember what we talked about, you'll know where to find me. I'll meet you at the end of the aisle at 11:00 am. I have no intention of showing up for the farce your mother calls a wedding."

Here goes nothing, I think before continuing.

"I know what I'm asking Edward. I'm asking you to take a very definite stand with me against most of your family. I hope you think me and the family we will make worth the risk you would be taking. I have purchased us a house that I know you will love and I want us to make our family there."

He hadn't said anything yet and the look on his face was hard to read. He was shocked, definitely, and it almost looked like pride…honestly, I was glad not to see anger.

"I know this is a shock to you, but I have tried talking to you about this several times over the last year. I'm worried if I don't take a stand now we will grow to resent each other and I don't want that. I would rather not get married and part now, when we may have a chance at friendship than get married and go through a bitter divorce. I don't want to hate you, and I don't want you hating me."

Still nothing from the man, wow, not what I was expecting. But then, what had I expected?

"Think about everything Edward, everything. If in the morning you want to get married and forge our life, our way. Our way Edward not your family's, then you know where to find me. If, however, you can't live with what I've done or risk the argument with your family, I understand. I will understand Edward and we walk away now and build separate lives. The choice is yours."

And…still nothing. What the fuck? I squeezed his hand, kissed his cheek, and got out of the car. I watched from a window as his car sat there for close to three hours before pulling away. I wiped a tear and prayed it wasn't the last time I would see the man I loved.

Here I am, its 11:05 and no Edward. However, as promised, I am at the end of the aisle, with Pastor Weber and 12 of our closest friends, hoping he will show. Elizabeth was right, I risked everything, but I refuse to believe that Edward will give up on us.

"Bella," Angela whispers, "it's 11:30."

"He'll be here." I try to say with conviction. "Why isn't he here?" I plead with her.

"Maybe something happ…"

"Isabella Swan, I know when we first talked about this we said the bridge, not the gazebo." Edward interrupted, walking down the aisle in his tux smiling.

"We did, but the rain…"

"So you make me search the entire garden for you?" He was smirking at me.

"Was it worth the effort?"

"Always, you are always worth the effort." He told me as he steps to my side and faces the pastor.

"Dearly beloved…" Pastor Weber says, starting the ceremony.

Thirty minutes later, I'm Mrs. Edward Cullen. After the ceremony, we move to The Tea Garden for a small reception under the shelter. Edward and I are cutting the cake when it happens. Hurricane Alice arrives with the aftermath twins in tow. I can't control my laughter at the analogy, it isn't raining softly anymore, it's pouring, and they look like drowned rats.

"You ungrateful bitch!" Alice screeches. "How could you?"

"Edward," Esme simpers and dabs at her eyes. "Why did you do this? The wedding is starting in a few hours."

"No, the wedding is over. We're married now, sorry you couldn't be here." I told all of them.

"I can't believe you did this Edward." Esme says, her anger showing. "How could you let yourself be taken in by this…by this social climbing, gold digging whore. How could you Edward? She is beneath you son."

Edward's eyebrows have risen so high they almost disappear into his hair.

"Exactly, you need to be with someone like Tanya." Rose decides to add her two cents.

Edward turns to me as I start to clap. "Thank you ladies, thank you so much for final showing your true colors. I admit you are better at hiding them from him than I thought, but the truth always finds a way to be told."

"What are you talking about Bella?" Alice asks moving into the room. "You are so low class, you will never fit into our world."

"Our world, our world Alice? You mean the world you were born into, that is nothing but luck. You haven't earned your own money or any money. You take pride in belittling and bullying people into doing what you want. Let's set the record straight. The Cullen money was acquired because three generations ago Samuel Cullen got rich stealing land from the natives and blanketing it with railroads. If he hadn't been a politician he would have been in jail because he was part of the Irish mob."

Alice's face looked like a fish out of water gasping for air. At least it shut her up. "Do some research on the family line you are so proud of before you throw that name around…pixie." I spat at her, knowing how much she hates that nickname.

"Let's start with Esme Platt. Esme Platt is a refined woman, from an impeccable background and lords the fact that her husband heads the Cullen Trust over any and all." I look at Esme and she smirks at me, knowing I was right.

"I bet if Carlisle's father hadn't just passed you wouldn't have been able to get within 100 feet of him, Esmeralda." That smirk was gone now. "Esmeralda is the daughter of a small town single mother waitress. She married Charles Hewitt young as a way to get away from her mother. However, Charles was a drunk and a wife beater. One drunken night Esmeralda fought back and beat Charles to death with a baseball bat, she was arrested and later released…self-defense. Esme Platt came to life the day Esmeralda Hewitt vanished, didn't she…I'm unsure which name to call you, Mrs. Cullen."

I think this is the first I have seen Esme speechless. Not wanting to have her feeling left out I turn to Rosalie.

"Rosalie Hale, you clean up well and love telling people you're a Cullen. How's that name sounding to you now. What would people think if they knew you didn't become a Georgia Hale until you were thirteen. You were born Rose Downs to a junkie mother that turned tricks for her next fix. You ran away at 12 and lived on the Nashville streets for a year, doing who knows what. Dr. Hale found you in a hospital he was visiting close to deaths door and took you home to live with he and his wife."

If not for the fire in her eyes, I would almost feel bad for revealing her secrets, almost. She wasn't sad, she was pissed.

"What Rose, no smart ass comments about my middle class upbringing?" For the first time I truly understood the saying, 'if looks could kill'.

"Alice, Alice, Alice," I tutted and turned to my worst tormentor. "Let me tell you a few things Alice. Yes, I come from a middle class family, but I'm a published author. You have actually raved about my books. Marie Dwyer, nice to meet you Mrs. Whitlock." The look on her face is priceless.

"I have my own money, which I earned. Earned Alice, I'm not living off my family or husband's money. As far as 'being' or 'acting' like a Cullen, I was a Swan long before I ever met any of you. Swan is a name to be proud of, yes, it has a blue-collar background, but at least it isn't rooted in scandal. No wonder you cling to it so, there isn't much in your background to gloat about. Before you go putting yourself on a pedestal above anyone, I suggest you check your own closet for skeletons."

I felt Edward's arms circle my waist, letting me know he was on my side, no matter what.

"And just for the record, I didn't marry Edward Cullen, financial whiz. I married Edward, he is loving, caring, sexy, a great friend and lover, he makes me laugh, and holds me when I cry. He is the best friend I have ever had and he happens to be a financial whiz. I married Edward, not the Cullen name."

"Listen here, you bitch." Alice started towards me. "You will do as you're told and keep…"

"No Alice, you listen." I interrupt her as we stand toe-to-toe. "This is what is going to happen. You are going to keep your opinions to yourself, all of you. You will talk to Edward and I with respect and keep your meddling little fingers out of our lives and marriage. I won't be your Barbie, your shopping buddy , or your whipping board. You will go out to the society events that mean so much to you and sing my praises." She scoffed. "You will talk about how happy you are for Edward and me, how happy you are to have me in the family. You will also cut all ties with Tanya Denali."

"Sooo not happening Bella. You don't give me orders." Alice told me in her haughty, high-pitched voice.

"Yes I do Alice, because if you don't listen, if you continue to cause problems for me, Jasper is going to find out about what exactly your do every Tuesday and Friday." Her quick intake of breath let me know I had her right where I wanted her. "The Fairfield Inn, really Alice, isn't that a little below your normal high standards, or is that the most your boy toy, James, can afford." I whisper to her.

"Fine, fine I'll play nice for now but don't think this is over. It isn't, not by a long shot Bella." I grab her arm when she starts to walk away.

"Yes it is. I have put up with your crap for a year Alice, this is me being nice. Don't force my hand. If you do, all that I aired today and more will be made public, and I don't mean in front of just family." I release her arm and allow her to move away.

"Maybe we'll make a Cullen out of you yet Bella, well played." Alice said on a laugh.

"No, I'll always be a Swan. I did what I did today to protect Edward and I's future, you do it because you love to cause havoc. We are nothing alike Alice."

"Keep telling yourself that Bella, keep telling yourself that."

A/N: I am working on updates for HS 101 & HOH. Real Life has been hard since before summer but things are getting back on track now and I'm starting to get my writing groove back. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me, you'll never know how much I truly appreciate it.

Speaking of my writing groove I have a one shot in the Mine to Mark Contest – it anonymous and of course FF has a thing about links but here goes:

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Voting is open until the 15th.

Mine is the one with possessive Edward. (Not much of a hint I know)

Thanks for reading.