"I gave her to Arthur when she was a sword," Merlin said, smiling weakly. "But now she's a girl."

"Cali?" Excalibur sat on Gwen's bed, staring at her hands. "That is a human name, but it comes from Excalibur. It's not very dignified, though. It does not strike fear into hearts."

"You struck fear into mine, running away like that," Merlin snapped at her over Gwen's shoulder.

Gwen's eyes widened, and she looked between the two of them. "What?" She said, and then shook her head. "Wait, what? You mean to tell me that that – that she – is actually a sword? In human form?"

"Yes, but it's not magical or anything."

Gwen's eyebrows drew together. "What, she transformed through some natural phenomenon?"

Merlin and the queen's eyes met, and they stared at each other for several seconds in challenging silence as Excalibur got up from her seat and went to the window, trying to stab it with her fingernails. Only the tap, tap, tap broke the silence.

"…Alright, you caught me," Merlin said. "It was Morgana. She turned Arthur's sword into a girl."

"Why would she do that?"

"Well, perhaps she thought that getting rid of his sword would render him helpless."

Excalibur rolled her eyes at this, since it was fairly obvious to her at least that Merlin had turned her into a sword himself, but she didn't care if he lied. She just wanted to fight something. She pulled her sheath up to better cover her now-human breasts (which were much too squishy for her taste) and wandered over to the door. She tried to punch it. It hurt.

"Yes, Merlin," Gwen was saying. "But why – why would she turn Excalibur into a person?"

Merlin chuckled nervously and leaned against the wall, running a hand through his hair. "…You know, I always got the impression Morgana was kind of lonely since we killed Morgause and Agravaine and all."

Gwen looked suspicious, but then she glanced behind him and her mouth opened slightly. "Where did she go?"

Merlin whipped around so quickly that his gangly legs almost came out from underneath him. "Oh, damn."

She was gone.

"…At least she's not naked now," Merlin said.

"I'm concerned that Morgana created a naked girl and then somehow you managed to get ahold of her," Gwen said, looking out the door to see if Excalibur could still be spotted.

"She probably went to find Arthur."

"I mean, was it some kind of rescue? Why didn't you bring clothes?" Guinevere turned and looked at him. "Did Morgana make her a woman on purpose? Was it because she somehow thought a woman would be less dangerous? That seems like internalized sexism."

Merlin handed her the servant's dress that he was still holding. "I have to return that to Ann. I'm going to go find the sword, okay? I'll come back for the dress."

Gwen still looked lost in thought. "We could call the knights to help find her?"

"That's a terrible idea! Yes, let's put her up against a search force of a bunch of men!" Merlin stopped in his tracks. "She's a sword; she'll attack them."

"But she knows them. She might consider them friends," pointed out Gwen. Her expression changed to something more curious. "Or do you think perhaps Morgana changed her into a naked woman for companionship? I mean, I always knew she wasn't really straight, but has being evil really left her in such a situation that she can't find any company?"

Merlin stared at her for a moment and then shook his head. "I have to go, Gwen."

"Keep my idea in mind!" she called as he brushed past her and down the hall.

"That Morgana's gay?"

"No, about the knights!"

But he brushed this aside as he picked up his pace. What did Gwen know anyway? He could find Excalibur. She would be where she thought Arthur would go. He would check out the haunts.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

The bar wasn't too crowded because it was early afternoon, and was mostly filled with bored youngsters and off duty workers. The bartender looked half asleep. But Excalibur had thought that Arthur might be here, since he wasn't at work. She had at least expected to see some knights on their day off.

And she was not disappointed.

She spun in the barstool, tilting her angled face, and smiled at the shaggy-haired, handsome knight in front of her. She'd never had one before, and she wanted to try. What was the worst that could happen?

"Sir Gwaine," she said, grinning. "I'd love a drink."

A/N: I know, I know. It's been forever. But this is such a fun little story, I want to finish it. I finally am in between writing projects.

Speaking of which, the project I have been working on most recently? A novel for my best friend. Which I published on kindle as an ebook. Heck yeah. Basically, you can now BUY MY BOOK – a romance novel about a forbidden romance between a fairy and a vampire. It can be read in 3 hours, it's 2 bucks on kindle and you can buy it if you have an Amazon. It's called "Ballad of the Sea and Sand" and I have published it as "Kitty Orleans". I wanted to let y'all know because this is where I got so much writing done in my childhood, and it means something to me.

I get so excited when people buy my book – I have only sold a few copies so far. But my dream is to sell 100 copies.

Basically? PLEASE CHECK OUT MY BOOK AAHHH IM SO EXCITED

Let me know if you need a link.

I'll post again soon!