Disclaimer: I wish I owned some of this amazing stuff.

Summary: If you're hearing this, I must have made it through. / Ally's mother dies and Austin helps her cope. AustinAlly. Angst and fluff. T. Complete.

A/N: I wrote this in the middle of the night when I was tired and sad and the music was far too loud. I'm sorry. I'm still proud of it.

Music: Sky's Still Blue - Andrew Belle; one of my favourite songs on this Earth. I recommend you listen to this whilst reading. :)

Dedication: This is dedicated to Val, (livelyfingered) one of my newest fanfiction friends, but definitely one of my closest. She's an amazing writer (hint hint, no seriously, get over there, after this ;)) a great friend, and even though time difference is a nuisance, we make it work. Thank you for everything!

sky's still blue

.

i can see my faith

you know it's never too late

.

:::

When she gets the phone call, they're at the movie theatre. Ally doesn't hear her phone vibrating in her bag, and it is only due to Austin she even picks up at all. He'd been leaning down to pick up the popcorn he had accidently knocked over, and Ally had giggled that it wasn't her being the clumsy one for once. Trish had rolled her eyes from beside Ally and Dez had been oblivious.

Austin almost hears the bag itself and then he pokes Ally's leg.

She looks at him curiously and he makes a gesture with his pinky finger and his thumb sticking out, mouthing phone. Ally nods and reaches to take it out of her bag.

There's one missed call, so she quickly picks up her ticket (because, how would she get back into the movie without it?) and dashes off with her phone.

Austin smiles fondly and sits upright in his seat.

Ally's gone for too long, and Austin knows, something isn't quite right here. He tries to whisper about it to Trish, but there's an empty seat between them and all she does is tell him to shush.

He turns to his right, where Dez is, a panic stricken look on his face.

"There's something wrong, Dez. Something's wrong with Ally." Austin whispers frantically.

"How do you know?" Dez whispers back, concerned.

"I just know, okay?"

"Okay." Dez says seriously. "Then why are you still sitting here?"

Austin nods and grabs Ally's stuff, running down the stairs of the theatre hurriedly and not caring for the people he's disturbing. He trusts Dez to explain... something that makes sense, to Trish.

He wanders around for five whole minutes before he finds her.

She's sitting in the smallest position possible on the floor by the vending machine and his face contorts painfully at the sight. He drops her stuff by her feet and crouches down to her level. Her face is buried in her knees.

"Ally." He says softly. "Ally what is it?"

She looks up at him, red faced with bloodshot eyes. He thinks it's the wrong time to tell her she's beautiful, even if she does think she's an ugly crier. (She's not.)

"My mom." Ally chokes out, and Austin knows. He just does.

Just like Austin knows his favourite food is pancakes, or his favourite colour is yellow. Just like he knows Ally likes reading until ungodly hours of the morning and she prefers scented body wash to perfume. He just knows.

"Ally... fuck." He says and she nods, because what else is there to say? "How?"

"They let a tiger loose." Ally says quietly and she's still got sobs racking her body. Austin knows from experience that she doesn't like to be held until after she's finished crying, so he sits cross-legged in front of her. "It was a new one to the facility, they hadn't trained it or anything yet... and it," Ally cuts off and gags, "They said it mauled her."

"Fuck." Austin says again because, fuck. "I'm so sorry."

"Thank you." Ally says. "I appreciate the sentiment. A lot of people assume saying sorry in this context means you're saying sorry for that person dying. You are, but you're not. You're really saying sorry to the people still left because they have to cope with the mess."

"Yeah." Austin murmurs. "Yeah. I'll help you cope, Ally."

"You will?" Ally says, her small eyes wide and a darker brown than he's even seen.

"I will." He promises.

That's the last time he sees Ally being sane for a little while.

She's fine up until the funeral, which is two days later.

She acts appropriately sad, and Trish and Dez do their best to comfort her and she smiles weakly, wearily, but gratefully.

She talks to Austin a lot in those two days. He never leaves her side. She says she understands why she's not quite so upset, because her mother had been away for two years now, and it's not as if Ally is missing a physical being from her life.

Austin nods along, waiting for the breakdown and silently praying to everything and anything he believes in that he will be able to cope.

On the day of the funeral Ally does not talk. He's been staying at her house, sleeping at the end of her bed, horizontally, so he would know. She doesn't speak throughout the whole day, only when it comes to the speech does she talk.

"No matter what, I loved my mom, and I know, no matter how gruesome her death may have been," Ally closes her eyes tightly for a few seconds and stops talking. "...That she died doing something she loved. And, just because she wasn't here with me all of the time, that didn't mean that she didn't love me either."

Ally cannot think of anything else to sum up how she feels, so she stumbles off stage and collapses into Austin's waiting arms.

Then everything falls apart.

Ally's dad can't take the pressure, the grief, so whilst Ally's asleep (or so she assumes) he packs some bags and leaves. There's a note on the kitchen counter, saying he'll be back soon, he promises, he just needs to escape for a little while.

She's not sure she believes him.

Austin finds the note when he comes downstairs and watches as Ally opens the fridge and pours herself a glass of orange juice robotically.

"I'm sorry." Austin says. He's been saying it too much lately.

"It's not okay." Ally says, because it's true.

"I'll never leave you." Austin reminds her.

He knows she will not smile, not even if she could, would she allow herself to, but for a moment the stress lifts from her face and she looks content.

Only for a moment.

"I know." She says and takes a long drink.

Austin moves in to the house properly, and sits it out. There's a tension in the air and like we've said before, Austin knows Ally. He can feel the outburst lurking, waiting for him.

It's been five days since her dad's left when she cracks.

The only stage of grief Ally seems to go through is anger. He thinks really, she's accepted it in her heart of hearts, and isn't really going through the stages at all, because Ally's anger is different.

She's always been different, he muses.

"Why, why did he leave Austin? My own father, gone. I needed him. I need him. He always thinks I can cope but I can't, I can't." He watches her pained eyes with pained eyes of his own.

"WHY WOULD HE DO THIS TO ME?" She shouts and he lets her. "WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE?"

Austin breaks the rules and holds Ally instinctively while she sobs. She doesn't protest. These angry outbursts continue for days and hours and every single time, Austin is there and he kisses her tears away.

One time, she punches his chest over and over as she screams. He never has any bruises, but she cries because she hit him anyway.

Another time, they hold hands so tightly he thinks his palm can now only ever belong to her, a fact he is more than okay with. She doesn't talk, they just sit on her bed and she grips his right hand so tightly he thinks she may just cut off the blood supply, but he doesn't care.

Her face is emotionless but he can see the silent rage in her eyes but doesn't speak. He knows, there will be a time for talking, a time for reminding Ally that everything will be okay, but he knows that time is not now.

She shouts and screams constantly otherwise. She has nightmares every night for eight days, he counts. Every time she wakes up screaming and he holds her until dawn breaks and with tired, bloodshot eyes she falls asleep against his chest.

On the last night, she screams the loudest he's ever heard.

He screams with her.

She's so astounded, she stops screaming, her mouth hanging open wide.

Austin smiles gently and closes it for her with his left hand.

"Why did you scream?" She asks quietly, and it reminds Austin of a little child.

"Because if you're in pain, then so I am. I wanted you to remember you're not alone in any of this."

He sees the thank you in the slight tilt of her head, but she never says it, not yet. "You never ask what my dreams are about." Ally states.

"I thought, when the time was right, you would tell me." He admits honestly.

Her thin strappy top she wears to bed brushes against a similar vest of his own. "They're about the people I love, being taken away from me. The first three nights were about my mom and dad." She says, curled into his embrace. "The last five have been about you."

"I'm here." He says. "I'm never going anywhere." He says determinedly.

For the first time in a long time, Ally believes in something. She believes him, she also believes in him.

He kisses her face over and over until she drifts off to sleep.

The nightmares and the screaming stop after that.

Typical, Austin thinks, that the minute everything calms down, another thing comes along.

But he can do this for Ally. He can.

They have a whole day and a whole night of peaceful oblivion, where there is no screaming or crying, and Ally actually manages a small smile.

Everything suddenly feels more real, like they've woken up from a dream. Austin knows Ally feels it too, because she moves less mechanically and her features are softer.

Alas, it doesn't last.

They get a letter. It's been eighteen days since the death and fifteen since her dad disappeared.

The letter is from him.

She reads it over and over throughout the day, once she's fallen asleep for the night, he takes it out from under her pillow from where she had put it.

He knows that she knows he'll read it, so it's okay.

Austin has to know what he's protecting her from, after all.

Dear Ally,

It starts.

I am so sorry for leaving you. It was spur of the moment but I couldn't cope. Seeing you reminded me too much of her.

Austin sees that this is a viable reason, but if it had been him, he knows he would've sucked it up and been there for his child.

He knows because he has been there for Ally ever since he met her, that very first day. Loving her, protecting her.

I don't know when I will be back. Austin reads. Again, I am sorry, but I know you were always strong enough for the both of us, you always were.

Austin knew it too.

Look after the house for me, look after the store... Look after yourself.

I will be back when I feel ready, I'm so, so sorry.

I love you.

Lester.

Austin feels like crying too.

The next day, he's emotionally exhausted. He cries over the plate of pancakes Ally's made him. It's the first time she's cooked these for him in a while (he always did love how Ally made his pancakes) but it feels even longer since he's seen her smile so big and bright like she does.

She cries with him, but somewhere in the middle of the tears and tangled limbs, she giggles when he hiccups and he knows that everything is going to be okay again.

He helps her open Sonic Boom again. Austin almost feels bad for feeling that this happening in the summer was lucky. But every cloud has a silver lining; Austin counts Ally's silver to be himself and the fact she hasn't missed any school during this whole ordeal, because then she would be really overwhelmed.

Austin smiles because he knows she's still the same really.

Austin promptly begins to break instruments even without his red-head best friend. Ally smiles again and Austin feels like he's flying a little bit.

It occurs to her that she hasn't seen her other best friends in over twenty days and Austin and Ally call them together, inviting them over to Sonic Boom.

She's immediately wrapped in tight hugs, and Austin can see the soft smile of hers as he watches the scene, even if she is crying.

"We love you, Ally. We missed you." Trish says as Ally wipes her tears with a tissue.

"I missed you too, but I had Austin." She says, glancing at him thankfully.

"Good to see you back, Ally." Dez says as he hugs her and rests his head on top of hers, once again mocking her height. A long time ago, she may have been mad, but now all she feels is relief.

Austin plays the guitar and Trish and Dez argue and Ally writes and it almost feels like old times.

Almost.

When her two other best friends bid Austin and Ally goodbye, he helps her lock up the store, and covers her small, shaking hands with his large ones.

"Everything's okay." Austin says.

"Yeah." Ally says, turning to look up at him. "Thank you, for everything." She wraps her arms around his middle and his arms rest tightly around her shoulders, sinking into the hug.

"I love you." She says, because it's true.

"I have loved you for the longest time." Austin replies, because that is also true.

When he tilts her chin and leans down to kiss her, Austin knows, just like he knows about everything else, that this is right; this is meant to be.

"You made it through." Austin says one night when they're up in her room, lying under the covers.

It's been two months.

"No." She says forcefully, looking up at him from where her head is placed on his chest. "We made it through."

A/N: I just want to say a big thank you to everyone really. You've been so supportive with the numerous fics I put up last month and I really appreciate it, even if all you do is read. Every little counts! I'm really happy right now and it's thanks to everyone of you.

I also feel very proud of this. I don't think I've felt this happy about posting something in a long time. I get excited about everything I post, but this, I don't know. I'm kind of emotionally connected to this one.

Please do review if you can spare the time. When I say it makes me happy, I really do mean it, you know. :)

-—Sophie.