"And so then Wenday said "Stan I'll beat yo hoe ass if you look at another girls Vajayjay!"

Eric Cartman burst into laughter. The fat child was feeding on Stan's embarrassment. The reason Wendy had got mad was because today a new story had appeared on the Eavesdroppers website. Apparently Stan had looked at another girls butt crack and sent an email to Kenny about it.

"You guys this sooooo funny!" Cartmans fat body was jiggling all over as he laughed.

"No one cares anymore Cartman… it stopped being funny because you won't shut up for five minutes." Craig stated in his monotone voice whilst flipping the fat child off.

"Shut up Craig! You're just a boring gaywad! This is the funniest thing EVA!"

"I can think of something funnier." Kevin Stoley said.

"…What?" asked Cartman cautiously. This dipshit would probably kill his good mood.

"That funny video on YouTube of Jar Jar Binks dying."

"I think he's neato!" exclaimed Butters.

"….. God fucking Dammit seriously? Jesus-tap-dancing-monkey-balls-Christ!"

Cartman was glaring at Kevin. Why did this stupid nerd have to exist? Why didn't his parents use protection? It was because one of them was Chinese right? Fucking Chinese were planning to take over the world. God Dammit seriously.

"Kevin I hate you even more than Butters… you can't go one day! ONE FICKING DAY!" Cartman held up a finger "Without talking about Star wars, Star Trek, Pokemon or Doctor Who!"

"At least I'm not a fat, ugly, ginger, mentally challenged kid who dresses up like Brittney Spears and has psycho-conversations with stuffed animals."

Without a word Cartman jumped across the table and started to hit Kevin. Cartman had the element of surprise he thought he was going to win… but the smirk was wiped off his face when Kevin started fighting back. The Star Wars fan gave the fat child a black eye, a wedgie and punched him several times in the gut before picking him up (much to the other kids amazement) and threw him out the window. Everyone in the cafeteria cheered.

"It's about fucking time someone shut him up." Craig said.

"Dude aren't you worried he might turn your parents into chilli?" asked Kyle.

"Nah if he tries anything I'll just start quoting Family Guy."

I always loved Kevin. Someone in my old class kept saying I ruined everyone's fun all the time… so when he hit me I kicked him right in the chest .