Reconnecting

By MaryKent

Disclaimer: I don't own any aspect of Arrow the tv show. I do own an arrow. It's plastic.

Time. There was always more time.

He did not have a clock to watch the seconds go by, but he knew they did. Seconds ran together and became minutes. Minutes grew into hours. As the hours changed the sun would rise and set. Each month the moon would wax and wane. Time did not hold meaning anymore, it just passed.

Endless time. When Oliver first arrived on the island he would endlessly stare at Laurel's picture, her glossy hair, the little smirk that was frozen in the photo. Her image plagued his mind. If only he could go back in time. Change the past. But time does not stop. It does not go back. He was trapped with only a picture of Laurel. He could not apologize to Laurel, fix his mistakes, and realize how fortunate he was before. That single picture linked Oliver to his entire world, the world of privilege and prosperity that was torn away from him. It linked him to his family whom he loved even if he endlessly masqueraded as a playboy. The picture linked him to Laurel, which only reminded him of his failures and the tragedy that he inflicted on her entire family. She would hate him for his carelessness. She would be his past because surely there was not future with her. And so he wallowed while marooned on an island with increasingly more time separating his from everyone and everything at home. The future was bleak.

Without Yao Fei, Oliver would not have had a future. Yao Fei, with his relentless persistence changed Oliver. Once a spoiled boy, spoiled enough to take his girlfriend's sister on a cruise without thinking twice, Oliver became a survivor.

He put the picture of Laurel back into his wallet. He put aside the link to his home, his family, and the memories and faced the future, even if that future only consisted of breaking bird necks and resisting capture on a strange island.

Only the future is composed of abundant time. There were long nights spent in the cave waiting for daylight. His thoughts would drift back to home. On dark nights Oliver would look at the picture of Laurel and remember everyone he was separated from. He had already lost Laurel because he had killed her sister, but Thea, Tommy and his mom all tormented his consciousness, even his departed dad and the mission to save Starling City would haunt him at night. He would deny it any connection he felt to the familiar at home was important to Oliver while he sought to survive. Even while his body grew stronger, his skills improved, and his desire to survive bested his depression over losing all that was familiar, he longed to be reconnected with his family. His friends. His city. Instead time separated them just as much as geography.

But time is a fickle thing. Occasionally, the time that separates people and events can seem to vanish for an instant. Sometimes, freshly awakened from a dream, years of separation disappear and for those few moments before consciousness resumes. The mind reconnects you with those you dream about and you wake with a smile and wish fervently to remember the feeling of being reunited. But dreams are often fleeting. With time what seemed vibrant and close enough to touch becomes a vague memory.

When one is truly fortunate, you can reconnect with others through objects. Children understand. A favorite frayed blanket or a teddy bear with lumpy stuffing provide security and protection. That raggedy object is associated with their mother and the security of a mom's embrace. Kids outgrow the need for their blankies or teddies, but instead of throwing them out, they often store them away. Even years later, it can be hard to part with a treasured blanket or stuffed animal because of their sentimental value.

Oliver was drawn to a small stone. A hozen. A symbol of reconnection through time. Reconnecting to the days when it was Oliver and Thea watching Saturday cartoons in their pajamas. Reconnecting to his family like they would never be again with the four of them posing for the annual Christmas card in the pine scented mansion. Reconnecting to his childhood when he, Tommy, and Laurel made up their own trio of friends. There was no real logical reason for why this hozen was so important to Oliver or why it so strongly connected Oliver to his past, but it did. Perhaps the sturdy weight of the stone made the connection feel meaningful. Or maybe it provided as sense of safety because the arrowhead can be used as defense or as a weapon. Just the knowledge that Buddhist tradition teaches that a hozen will provide connections to good friends and family was sufficient to make this hozen important.

Yao Fei could see the connection that Oliver felt when he held the stone. Oliver would hold his head higher and his eyes would sharpen. Oliver treasured the glimpses of another time that he experienced when he touched the hozen. He would survive. The glimpses of the past and the people he knew there were a strength. When Oliver stared endlessly at Laurel's picture he was guilt ridden. But the connection to the hozen was not built on guilt. Its symbolism was pure and light and love. It provided hope, hope that one day Oliver would be reconnected with Thea and his family while ending his time in purgatory.

Those glimpses of another time are sacred. And so the hozen was sacred by extension.

The hozen did reconnect Oliver with his past. But time had changed everything that he remembered. Laurel was complicated. She ought to hate Oliver, but their relationship was too complicated to understand. Tommy was still Tommy, ready to move on as if nothing had happened at all. His mother had already reconnected and he was supposed to embrace a new patriarch in the family. Thea was the only person who was as lost as he was. She had grown up in the five years that Oliver was gone, but was lost without an anchor to guide her.

Oliver did not know how to simultaneously rejoin society, begin the mission his father sent him on, and be a decent role model for Thea. While he once thought that the hozen had served its purpose by reconnecting him with his old life, he now realized Thea needed to reconnect too. Giving Thea the hozen was not a mere gesture, it was a deeply sentimental gift, a gift to guide her back to him. Dealing with relationships was something Oliver had not done for years and yet he yearned for his familial bond with Thea. The bonds of family were so important. And Oliver was lonely, despite finally being surrounded by people, and he saw his loneliness reflected back in Thea's eyes. The hozen had brought him back to Starling City, now it could reconnect him with Thea too.

Defiled. Oliver defiled the hozen he gifted to Thea. Were once the hozen symbolized the reconnection between siblings, it now equated a piece of junk panda shot glass from the Beijing airport.

All Oliver wanted to do was promise to Thea that he was still there for her. Even with allegations of being the man in the hood, she would not lose him again. In the midst of party planning for an ill-themed rave, Thea was sitting there, alone, studying the arrow head. In an attempt to distract Thea from her own thoughts and loneliness, Oliver inadvertently knocked another leg out from under their relationship. Not only was Thea suspicious of Oliver's secrets, but she was connecting dots about Oliver's extracurricular activities. Instead of sharing with Thea, Oliver retreated. He retreated into his party boy facade and putdown himself. It was too soon, thought Oliver. No one can know my secret and remain safe.

Thea was right; Oliver wanted to share his secrets. He was on the right track when he shared his hozen. For a bit of time the siblings had that sentimental gift to reconnect them. Now they were back to being strangers to one another. Secrets and lies divided them.

Time. Time is a fickle thing. And relationships take time to develop, to nurture, to prosper.

Time reunited Oliver with Thea. Hopefully their relationship would not require years for them to find the courage to actually reconnect.