The two nations were in the car for a little over four hours. The long drive was growing ever so boring to the Canadian in the passenger seat. Matthew flipped through all the radio stations but they were all playing the same annoying songs. He resorted to staring out the window at the passing buildings and trees. "Oh look there's a tree… oh and another tree, how exciting." He muttered sarcastically. He whispered so quietly that for once even Gilbert couldn't hear him. Gilbert hadn't spoken in a while which was unusual for the albino, normally he couldn't stand any kind of silence. But Matthew knew that all the energy was drained out of him from driving. He wouldn't be so tired if he'd have let Matthew drive, but he insisted – more like demanded – that he drive so that the blonde could rest any time that he wished.

Matthew was sick and tired of having to sit for the last four hours. He wanted to stretch, to move. Those were a poor choice of words because they broke through the filter of Matthew's mind and let dirty thoughts poor into his conscious mind. His face turned red but he didn't push those thoughts away.

"We're going to stop pretty soon to eat." Gilbert said.

A noise besides one of the ones from his head caught Matthew's attention, especially since it was Gilbert's hypnotic accent. The blush faded from his neck and face and retreated to who knows where.

"What are we eating?" Matthew asked.

"Well I was thinking Italy." He answered.

Bright blue eyes grew huge on Matthew's face. His mouth was ajar from being startled. "What the maple? You can't eat my uncle! I know that he's annoying, he sleeps with your brother, and he's almost always naked but he's still Papa France's brother!" Matthew said.

"Liebling I'm sorry, I meant Italian. I guess I just didn't say that right." Gilbert said gently. He patted Matthew's hand before returning his own to the steering wheel.

"Oh thank goodness, you really scared me." He said. He held his hand over his heart in an attempt to calm it's wild beating.

"Birdie I don't eat people, not even Russians. I tried once but it gave me food poisoning." He said.

"I love eating peeps." Matthew said, an evil grin spread across his face.

"You suck."

"Yes I do, almost every day."

"Shut up." Gilbert said, slightly embarrassed. His own awesome words had been turned against him.

"What? It's true, and you liked it too." Matthew said, smirking happily.

"Shut. Up." He said, emphasizing each word.

Quickly and silently a plan formed in the Canadian's head. It was an easy way to solve the problem of him being so bored. He would use his only advantage he had against Gilbert so that he wouldn't be as bored anymore. People always say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. This was true with Gilbert and pancakes. But the way to a man's cock was different depending on the man. This was the advantage that Matthew had, he knew how to get to Gilbert's south pole.

Matthew reached over and used his finger to draw imaginary circles on his lover's shoulder. He purred softly. "Oh come one, don't be like that." He said. Pink bloomed across Gilbert's face. "Shut up Canada!" He said. Matthew put on the most innocent face that he could manage. He hoped that it was working because even though he was trying to look innocent he didn't feel very innocent. "What did I do? I see nothing wrong with my words or actions." Matthew said. He stopped drawing imaginary circles and began to feel the strong muscles of Gilbert's arm. "I… Damn Canadians." He muttered.

"Gilbert, don't be a mood killer." Matthew sighed.

"Wha-" Gilbert gasped.

A certain blonde was applying more than just a little amount of pressure to his crotch with the palm of his hand. Gilbert mentally cursed Matthew and bit the inside of cheek so that he wouldn't make any noise. He was trying to drive so he really didn't want or need to encourage his boyfriend.

"B-b-birdie… What the h-hell are you d-doing?" Gilbert asked slowly. It was to not make any noises so he turned all sounds into stuttering.

"You know exactly what I'm doing." The blonde answered.

"I know, so stop it right n-n-now!" He said.

Matthew pressed down harder and the car swerved from the little amount of attention that the driver was directing towards the road. He unbuttoned and unzipped Gilbert's jeans. He could already see the albino's member standing happily. Matthew leaned down and licked him through his boxers.

There was a squeal of tires as Gilbert tried too quickly to pull to the side of the road. He parked the car and got Matthew off of him. He pressed the Canadian against the passenger seat and crawled on top of him.

"That was a dangerous move you pulled there Birdie." He whispered.

"With you're driving I know you wouldn't have wrecked." Matthew said calmly.

"That's not why it was so dangerous." Gilbert said.

Matthew had no idea what he meant so he raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I could toss you into the backseat right now and pound you so hard that you won't feel anything below the waist for a month. All for that little stunt you pulled." Gilbert growled.

"You'd never do that." Matthew said.

The albino chuckled. He pressed himself even closer to his lover. But this was one of those rare times when Matthew wouldn't submit to him. "But I could get out my riding crop. I could have enough fun to make the people in China hear your screams." He said.

"You wouldn't do anything too bad with that either." Matthew said.

"Oh? And what makes you say that?" He asked.

"I know that you'd never ever hurt me." He answered.

Gilbert climbed off of him and sat back down in the driver seat. His smirk was replaced by a sweet smile. "That's because I love you so much Birdie. You're the only one I have and if I ever hurt you I'd hate myself for it." He said. Matthew kissed him on the cheek. "I know that you wouldn't hurt me on purpose." He said.

"So how about we go eat some Italian food?" Gilbert suggested.

"I hate pasta. We should find a pizza place, if that's not Italian food then I don't care because it's pretty darn close." Matthew said.

Laughter filled the car. Gilbert pulled the car back onto the road and they continued their trip to Canada. "That's fine with me. But no more funny business while in the car or I'll get out my riding crop. Got it Birdie?" He said. Matthew shook his head. "Sorry Gil but I can't make any promises." He said. Gilbert rolled his crimson red eyes. "So you want me to get the riding crop?" He asked. "That is completely fine with me." He said. Gilbert intertwined their fingers. "You Canadians are dirty, dirty people."