Welp, we've come to this, people. This is Bella Swan and Sam Winchester. May Mark Pellegrino strike me down because, good lord, this should NOT exist. I guess I should thank Stephanie Meyer? Thank you to Eric Kripke for creating such a wonderful universe, I couldn't help but get sucked in. Big, big, BIG thanks to the incomparable maxipoo1024 for her beautiful and unintrusive editing. I don't know how this happened but it's happening so either hop in or get out because I am burning this motherf* #er down. Prepare yourselves: this is Bella Swan and Sam Winchester and IT IS HAPPENING and oh god I'm sorry. (PS there are abundant Charlie!feels and bb!Sam feels and please see above about being so sorry.)

Halloween

It's almost Halloween, and Jessica has invited Bella, Lauren, and Angela to spend the weekend at her parents' cabin in Sacramento. Charlie doesn't love the idea of Bella leaving the state only three months after arriving, but he blames it on her being too young. Bella stomps her foot; she's not a baby, she's sixteen, and Jessica's mom is coming and she really just wants to feel the sun again, please? Bella pouts. She says please about a hundred more times before he finally relents. She's quiet and she likes reading, but Charlie isn't convinced she's not a wild child like her mother. He isn't ready to let go of her yet.

As it turns out, Jessica's mom is a wild child, and the girls have the cabin to themselves. This works out great for Jessica, who informs the other girls that they are invited to a real live college party tonight, courtesy of recent Forks High School graduate, Kevin, who is totally cute and eighteen. Lauren and Angela, who anticipated the need for cute halloween costumes, are totally down to drive the two hours to Stanford. Bella, wearing her normal uniform of jeans and a long sleeve shirt, is less sure about this idea. Luckily for Bella, Jessica brought, like, way too many clothes and won't have a problem giving Bella something to wear. Two and a half hours later, Bella finds herself on the lawn of a Stanford student wearing a pink V-neck top that showcases just how badly she's still hoping for puberty, and a dinky headband with sparkly balls on springs.

"Um, you're an alien? Duh," Lauren points out helpfully in the car.

They make their way inside, where Bella hears "Haha cool, pre-school ET!" and quickly takes her stupid headband off.

"Hey," says a voice behind her. "I was just about to compliment you on those."

Bella turns to see a tall boy, smiling at her. "Sure you were," she says with a grimace.

The boy laughs again, and Bella notices he has a nice smile.

"You're, right," he admits. "It's kind of goofy. Let me get you a beer to make up for it?" he asks hopefully.

He has brown hair and brown eyes, Bella notices, but not the kind of brown her eyes are, the nice kind, with flecks of gold in them.

Bella hesitates, but after finding both Lauren and Jessica holding red cups, she reluctantly accepts.

The brown-eyed boy smiles warmly. "Not twenty-one yet?" he guesses.

Bella grimaces again. "Not exactly, no," she mumbles.

"It's okay, me, neither - I'm a junior and I won't even be twenty-one until May, so I promise not to tell if you don't," he says warmly. "I'm Sam, by the way," he says, holding out a hand.

"Bella," Bella replies, shaking Sam's hand. Bella manages a smile, one that is returned richly, and she feels kind of…happy. Sam is paying attention to her, and he's nice. He keeps asking her questions, and when she can't answer him because the music's too loud, he just smiles this big dimple-y smile at her and asks if she wants to go outside. Bella finds that she actually does want to, but she doesn't know where her friends are. Sam nods understandingly. He offers to help her find her friends. Bella gives him a real smile.

They don't find Jessica, but Angela is talking excitedly with a boy dressed like Lady Gaga on one side of the room, and Lauren is playing beer pong with a couple of dudes, flirting masterfully, on the other. Bella shrugs and says it's probably okay to go outside, as long as they don't go too far away. And they don't - just the front porch of the house, far enough away that they can hear each other over the music.

Sam asks if she's from around here, Bella explains she's still in high school and just moved to Forks from Phoenix. She misses the sunshine, her mom, and she only brought two bags of stuff. And a cactus.

"A cactus?" Sam asks incredulously, and Bella giggles.

"Yes," she repeats. "A cactus."

Sam wants to know if Bella named her cactus, and Bella giggles again.

"Why would I name my cactus?" Bella asks.

Sam tells her he has a plant, too. Not a cactus, though.

"It's called a snake plant. It has big, pointy leaves," he explains, "that are shaped like swords."

He tells her he named it Achilles, and Bella thinks he might be blushing a little bit.

"Achilles?"

"Well yeah, because he's a fighter," Sam clarifies. "I forgot to water him the whole first week I had him, but he survived."

Bella makes a face, and Sam assures her he doesn't forget to water Achilles anymore. She says no, that's not why she's making a face, it's because she thought Achilles was kind of a drama queen, and she could never forgive him after what he did to Hektor. Sam defends Achilles, and Bella is surprisingly moved by his argument, but she still likes Hektor. She tells him that, too, but she's smiling and Sam's pretty sure that means she's enjoying herself. They both agree the whole thing is Paris's fault, anyway. They laugh, appreciating the conversation and the fact they can talk this way together. Bella admits she never even thought about naming her little cactus, and Sam suggests McPedro. Bella giggles and asks why, and Sam shakes his head and maybe blushes again. He doesn't know. He just likes making her laugh.

She says maybe she'll name it Hyperion because she misses the sun. She tells him how much Forks sucks and how rainy and cloudy it always is. Sam asks her why she moved, and Bella explains about her mom and Phil.

"Now I live with Charlie," Bella says, her face falling a tiny bit.

"Charlie?" Sam asks.

"Oh - yeeah. Charlie's my dad. I just, I call him Charlie. He hates it."

Sam nods, a flash of understanding in his eyes, but he's quiet. Bella looks pained, and it's kind of awkward.

"I know how that is. My dad can be…difficult, too. My brother called me last year, wanted to get together for Thanksgiving, but uh…it didn't work out." Sam pauses, thinking of how dad refused to come, how he told Sam it was him who walked out on them. How he walked headfirst into a case without Dean, and Dean ended up having to bail to go save Dad. Not Dean's fault, just…the usual.

"Why not?" Bella asks him.

"Ah, my dad and I, we got in a fight when I moved out here for school. He didn't want me to go…it's a long story. I just wanted my own life, and he doesn't get it. Too stubborn," Sam rationalizes.

Bella warms inside, knowing exactly what he means. It's why she came to rainy, horrible Forks. She smiles slightly at Sam's words. "I totally know what you mean. Charlie…I mean, my dad, I've told him a hundred times I go by Bella, but I know he calls me Isabella behind my back. So stubborn. The thing is, my dad's the chief of police, and Forks has about twenty-five people in it…so they all know who I am, and they all call me Isabella. It's so annoying," she finishes, flourishing her hands for emphasis.

Sam wrinkles his nose. "Ugh, my brother always calls me Sammy, and he definitely knows how much it bugs me. I'm pretty sure that's WHY he does it," he adds with a chuckle.

Neither of them have touched their beers. Their foamy cups are set to the side, forgotten.

Bella tucks her hair behind her ears, and when she puts her hand back down she sets it right on top of Sam's. She apologizes, blushing. Sam shakes his head, telling her it's okay, he doesn't mind. Sam doesn't have a ton of experience with girls, but he wants to kiss her. He worries because she's young. He doesn't want to take advantage, although neither of them have really been drinking.

A couple of people stumble out of the house and knock over Bella and Sam's drinks. Bella and Sam get up quickly and move out of the way, letting them through.

"Oh well," Bella muses, "I wasn't drinking anyways."

"Me, neither," agrees Sam.

They're standing right outside the house by the door. Sam's a little closer than he was when they were sitting, and they smile at each other nervously. The door bursts open again as more drunk people stumble out, and Bella is knocked forward right into tall Sam with the nice brown eyes, who catches her against his chest. She was too close to the door when it opened. Bella blushes and looks down, apologizing for her clumsiness and bracing herself against Sam. Sam smiles and tells her it's okay, trying to catch her eyes, his hands lingering on her shoulders. Bella finally gets her balance and looks up at Sam's pretty face, and her hands, braced against his chest, still. Sam gathers his courage and plants one on her. It's eager, but soft; all fumbling hands, and it's so, so, unbearably sweet.

When Jessica storms out, furious with Kevin for trying to get into her pants, Bella informs Sam with chagrin that yes, that girl is her ride and that she doesn't think Angela will let them leave without her but she really should go. Sam kisses her once more before Lauren and Angela scurry by, Lauren rolling her eyes and Angela grabbing Bella's arm with a huge sigh of relief and an "ohmigosh, I couldn't find you anywhere!"

Bella stumbles along sideways back to the car, unable to walk properly with Angela still holding her arm, and the glances she takes back at Sam whenever she can spare it. Sam shouts after them to wait, and Jessica's snorting "Would you look at that, some boys do understand the concept," from the front seat, but Bella can hear Sam's smile in his voice and her legs feel weird.

Bella smiles too; she's just had her first real kiss and her emotions don't seem to be cooperating with the situation. For once, she's too incredulously happy to be embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry!" she shouts over her shoulder as she climbs into the SUV.

"I'll…email you," Sam shouts uncertainly as he waves, watching the SUV pull away.

Bella sits with her head down, distantly hearing Jessica rant about the idiot Kevin.

"He thinks he's sooo cool now that he's at college for a whole month? Well guess what, he still has his Batman sheets and if he thinks I'm afraid to tell anyone he is DEAD WRONG!"

Bella runs her tongue along the inside of her lip, where Sam was.

Sam wanders upstairs and plays around with his roommates guitar. It doesn't sound very good.

Over the next couple of weeks, Sam will badger Kevin until he emails that girl from Halloween to ask for her friend Bella's contact info, but they'll end up directly in Jessica's spam folder. In a couple of months, Sam will meet Jess Moore, and he'll stop thinking about Bella. In about a year and a half, the Cullens will move to town and enchant Bella so thoroughly she thinks of nothing and no one else.

But for the next couple of hours after Sam gives Bella her first real kiss, they both grin like idiots.

JESUS CHRIST WHAT HAVE I DONE.

This one-shot will be continued as a story once DCYE is finished.

Good Riddance, Kevin.