"When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself." - Bob Marley

"I really can't believe you're making me do this..." Emma seethed through slanted eyes as she pulled up to the darkest street corner in front of the apartment complex.

"I need to know all about this land, I've heard nothing but good things about it...don't be the one the prohibit the opening of my mind to new experiences, Swan. Now, shut up and get out there." The pirate smirked as he reached across and turned off the engine, looking up at her to wink.

"You do know this is illegal, Hook. I'm the sheriff!" Emma exclaimed incredulously.

"No, darling, you're stalling." He replied in a mockingly sing-song tone.

"Fine." She groaned as she got out of the car, leaning in for a quick "I hate you" before shutting the door firmly behind her.

Killian chuckled to himself as he watched the blonde disappear into the building. He patiently waited in her 'horseless carriage', filing his hook almost daintily while looking out the window.

5 minutes passed and Emma returned looking rather flustered as she started the engine quickly and pulled off, disregarding her seatbelt.

"Well...?" He asked curiously after a minute or so.

"I have it, don't worry." She replied, not looking at him.

"C'mon, love, don't be cross with me. Besides, I still need someone to show me how to properly use it." He pouted childishly.

"That's what she said." Emma mumbled.

"What?" Killian asked confused.

"Nothing and I never agreed to that, Hook." She said.

"Come onnnnnn!" He whined.

"I hate you so much right now." Emma grumbled.

Killian watched with wide, sparkling eyes as Emma laid out the necessary supplies. She had to think back to her high school days to even remember how to do this.

"So, you're telling me this...this herb...will get me..." Killian began, searching for the proper words.

"...high, Killian. It will get you incredibly high." She finally laughed as she deposited enough for a joint in the grinder and twisted, grinding the greenery into a fine consistency.

"Is that similar to drunk, lass?" He asked.

"Not as bad, it's more fun, I guess. You'll either be hungry, sleepy, silly or all 3 at once." She smirked, dumping the herb onto a square of paper and carefully dispensing it evenly down the middle. She then proceeded to roll the joint for him.

"That's hardly sanitary..." Killian chastised as Emma licked the paper to seal it. Emma shot him a look and the pirate held his hand and hook up defensively.

Emma reached for a lighter and lit it for Killian, passing the joint to him and walking away.

"You're not going to smoke this with me?" He asked, disappointed, bringing the object to his nose to smell. There was something strangely appealing about the aroma.

"Hell no. What if there's an emergency in town? I'm on call. Smoke it, Snoop Dogg." She ordered as she sat on the sofa.

"Who is this Snoop Dogg?" Killian replied quizzically as he brought the joint to his lips and inhaled deeply.

"Nothing's *cough* happening, Sw-*cough* *cough* Swan!" He called out to her.

"Just wait, genius..." She laughed.

What a lightweight.

20 minutes, a bag of Cheetos and 2 joints later...

"W-wait...where the hell's my badge?" Emma asked exasperated, patting herself down.

She turned when she heard Killian's childish giggled behind her and rolled her eyes as he brandished her badge.

"There's a new sheriff in town now, Swan..." He started in his sternest voice but ended with a fit of laughter as he tucked her badge onto his belt, the joint hanging from his lips briefly before he took a long drag.

"Killian, when the hell did you even take that?" She laughed.

He was only slightly amusing to her now.

"There's been several complaints in regard to the use of certain illegal substances in this dwelling...I'm afraid I'm going to have to be frisking you now, Miss Swan...standard operating procedure, you understand." He smirked as he stepped closer, blowing grey smoke out of his mouth, thoughtfully directing it to the right of her face.

"Hold this." He instructed as he passed her the joint. Emma whined and folded her arms across her chest in protest. She watched as he squatted down at her feet and proceeded to feel up her left calf then slowly up to her thigh.

"That's not even how you do it, idiot." She deadpanned, considering the joint in her hand. If he kept this up, she'd have to finish it off for him.

"I'll have no sass from you, Miss. I'm a man of the law, I'll have you know. Show some respect." He tried in his sternest voice as he bent back down to check her right side. She rolled her eyes and let him continue with his foolishness.

"Hmmm, besides being completely uncooperative, all checks out down below. Though..." He began thoughtfully, his voice trailing off as he dramatically stroked his chin.

"What now?" She sighed.

"Well, you could be concealing..." He smirked devilishly as he looked her over, the whites of his eyes now slightly red.

"...elsewhere." He finished, waggling his eyebrows suggestively at the annoyed woman in front of him.

"Alright, that's ENOUGH!" She cried out as she put a few feet of space between them.

"Swan, I wanna plaaaaaaay." He whined.

"Play. With. Yourself...wait! That came out wro-" She finished hurriedly. Killian grinned and closed the space between them once more.

"I knew you wanted me." He winked.

"I do no-" She protested.

"But, you just said you wanted to watch me play with myself, lass." He grinned.

Emma finally let out a cry of frustration and brought what was left of the joint to her lips and inhaled hard.

"Got anything more to eat, lass...?" Killian asked as he walked over to the kitchen and started rummaging through the cabinets.

"Ooooo, what are Crunch Berries?!" He asked excitedly.

It was going to be a long night...