A/N: This fic is going to get quite confusing because of the alternating time eras. So to avoid confusions, please remember that whenever you see a "past" at the line breaker it means that the writing which follows after is a flash back, alright?

Pairing: 69D

Summary: "Hating is a sin, so how can loving someone be?"

Rating: T

Hibari Kyoya was someone who would forever, stare at him with darkened orbs which displayed hatred clearly but this time round, something was different. Mukuro could sense the sadness which laced with those hatred and anger he knew the Cloud Guardian was trying his best to suppress while staring at him, the raven-haired male's emotions seeming so vivid and raw for the very first time. He wasn't in any position to judge the other male, he knew, since Mukuro knew his very own expression wasn't any better when he could totally picture it being so torn and unsettled.

"Was it you who did it?"

"If you don't think that you can handle all these, I'm pretty sure the other guardians will-"

Mukuro bit back the sigh that threatened to slip out of his throat when Hibari's palm found it's way to the surface of the table which was the only thing in between where they were seated at hardly, the loud noise his action evoked causing a silence which fortunately only dragged on for a short while (it was making him feel uncomfortable) before the Cloud Guardian made himself to speak, his voice rasp with hoarseness.

"I want to know the truth, Rokudo Mukuro." It was fairly contradicting, Mukuro noticed, when Hibari was demanding the truth from someone he might never trust. "Now."

-past-

Approximately two years ago, Mukuro had actually found himself in a similar situation like this too - excluding his very own torn expression and Hibari's broken one because there was nothing about that incident to call forth their emotions. It was just a simple case of the Vongola having doubts for him again (it wasn't anything new) ever since a massacre occurred on the streets in Japan and he was spotted there few hours ago before crimson stained the snow which caked the paths. Mukuro hadn't tried to explain for himself, despite Reborn's attempts to get him to say something and those eyes of Tsuna were almost amusing, when he noticed the other really wished that it hadn't been him - it was almost as if the Sky Guardian had been convinced that it was he who had killed all these people just for nothing.

"You have to say something, Mukuro."

"What's the use if you're just going to send me into the Vendicare Prison?" Mukuro finally spoke for the first time ever since they had him locked in this small room which was dark with almost no light. "Don't act as if you will trust me when you don't, it's pathetic, Sawada Tsunayoshi."

He was almost sure that the Tenth of Vongola looked offended for a moment, but he hadn't gotten a chance to speak when the door creaked open loudly and he had to close his eyes momentarily the instant the bright lights which shone into the room from the corridor were too sharp for his orbs to adapt to till the door was finally closed, with Reborn clearing his throat softly to gather attention over his side, at the corner. That was when he took in the sight of a particular blonde standing at the corner, his lips stretching slightly to form a smile that was almost impossible to notice.

"Tsuna, just drop it for a moment. I've a new solution." It didn't feel nice, knowing that the whole of Vongola was treating him like a deadly virus which they were desperate to find a cure for. "Mukuro is going to Italy with Dino until your big brother gives us the approval or acknowledgment that he'd put his strength into better use instead of harming innocent people and you can be reassured now, right? Keeping Mukuro under Dino's observation is better than taking him to the Vendicare Prison."

Mukuro immediately scoffed at the decision that they had made; who were they to actually decide these for him because of something trivial? Who were they to actually send him away from his home, away from those kids (Ken, Chikusa and Chrome) who would only relax at his reassurance and nobody else?

"I'm not going-"

"It's very nice to meet you, Rokudo Mukuro." Dino flopped onto the seat right across the table, opposite of him before outstretching a hand to prompt a handshake while Mukuro held back the urge to slap it away. "I know this might feel unfair to you, but do know that things are difficult for us to decide on too, alright?"

-current-

Gokudera's questioning expression didn't go unnoticed when Mukuro pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

"I thought you quit, Mukuro." He heard Gokudera asking as he lit the tip of the cigarette, letting it burn for a few seconds before slipping the stick past his lips for a particularly hard suck, closing his eyes as the stench of tobacco circled within his mouth before he swallowed gently. It had been so long since he smoked, actually, now that Gokudera had mentioned it but he could only smile bitterly as his sole answer to the Storm Guardian's question before exhaling softly, bits of the stuffy feeling which had been locked in his chest together with the smoke. "It's... not because of who I think it is, right?"

It would be almost mocking for Mukuro to admit that someone had indeed, reduced him to this certain state but instead of answering Gokudera immediately, he offered the other a stick upon recalling that the guardian who was with him had this little habit which he hadn't kicked. This wasn't something that he could just admit, not when that was something that the society wouldn't allow.

"This isn't the question that you're sent here to ask, is it?"

-past-

Mukuro felt the corner of his lips twitch in distaste when Dino flushed all of his cigarettes down into the toilet almost mercilessly, and was really about to let his displeased emotions out through sharp words until the Cavallone suddenly turned to look at him with an expression which was pretty much determined.

"You should know better than to smoke, Mukuro. I thought you were more than this," Dino's words made Mukuro chuckle almost instantly, mocking at the other's stupidity. "I'd see if you're still able to laugh once you get lungs cancer just like how my father did; it's more than just tiring having to fight with something you can't see forever."

It had been weeks since Mukuro had been living in the Cavallone's mansion, and to his surprise Dino didn't limit his actions as much as he had expected but smoking was one of the blonde's biggest pet peeves, he realized, despite all these restrictions he had been excluded from. The other followed him around wherever he went in the mansion, carrying files which he were needed to look through together with Romario, and the blonde wouldn't even say anything to him (occasionally glancing up at him, away from those files he read with a small frown) until he heard the click sound the lighter made whenever he lit a cigarette up.

"Why are you even getting so worked up for? It's just smoking and-"

"Illusions can't save you forever, you know that. This is the reality so grow up, Mukuro and I'd trust you to take care of yourself better when you think of yourself to be so intelligent."

"You trust me on this when you think that I'm responsible for the massacre?"

Dino rolled his eyes immediately at the question as he searched through the drawers, wanting to clear out all the packets of cigarettes that Mukuro had hidden. What he didn't know was, he had already flushed all of them away, really, and Mukuro kept silent about that fact just to chuckle quietly in his mind about how silly the Cavallone could be despite being a boss.

"I never said I'm with Reborn and Tsuna about their assumptions." For the first time, Mukuro was rendered speechless. "Why do you think you're sent to me instead of the other guardians?"

He had to admit; that certain idea never crossed his mind and to know that it was the truth that he had overlooked all along just... surprised him.

"Now you're going to sweep the floor for me if I ever see-"

"I won't, Dino." Mukuro interrupted, his hands curling into fists slowly as an unknown warm feeling spread across where his chest was and watched how Dino looked at him with an eyebrow raised, clueless as to what the illusionist was actually on about when he's in the middle of some big search. "I'm saying that I quit smoking, Dino Cavallone."

He dug his fingernails into his palms to stop himself from smiling when the Cavallone's face had a satisfied and proud smile on his face.

" Because I won't want to... break your trust."

-current-

"But that's what I want to know," Mukuro watched as Gokudera crushed what's left of the cigarette onto the railing he had been previously leaning on before glancing upwards at the vast view of blue sky the rooftop provided. It was pretty, Mukuro had to admit, as much as it reminded him of things he would hate to reminisce and uncharacteristically, he thanked the silver-haired guardian silently in his mind for taking him out of the dark room and to the rooftop. It made him feel... so much better.

"You mean you're not going to force an answer out of me for your precious Tenth?" Mukuro didn't bother to hide the questioning tone which laced with his words while he stared at Gokudera with eyes that probably showed the other how suspicious he still was. "It's impossible."

"No one has a certain side to take right in this situation, especially after you're proven to be not guilty of the massacre that everyone had once thought you are responsible for in the past, Mukuro and all I can do know is to understand what's going on in the past with the both of you better so I can put a better judgment to this to help the Tenth with his decisions."

He probably shouldn't, but Mukuro still laughed at the very end, shaking his head at the moment as he kept the box of cigarette back into his pocket.

"Nobody ever trusted me, Gokudera so let alone this time round now." Mukuro could catch Gokudera's piercing sight. Those querying green-colored orbs wered filled with so much uncertainty, as if they were asking - "What about him?" - and he could only let out a short laughter. "Except for him, right, Gokudera. Except for him."

Gokudera lowered his vision afterwards, seeing to have gotten the answer that he had been searching for before sighing softly and Mukuro didn't know if he should accept the sympathy which came with the pat that the Storm Guardian had given on his back.

"Do you think he'd appear, nagging at me if I smoked another cigarette?" Mukuro covered his face with a hand of his lightly, a bitter smile never leaving his lips. "He hated it whenever I smoke."

-past-

Mukuro hadn't needed to think to know that things had changed when smiling became something that he wouldn't hesitate doing if he's alone with Dino. The soft, surprised gasp that left Dino's lips once Mukuro occupied the empty space beside Dino's bed was almost priceless and amusing for a certain reason; his lips just quirked upwards unknowingly as he pulled the thick blanket over so that the both of them were sharing, their legs barely touching.

It was silent in the bedroom, the only noise that was audible were their steady breathing and the soft rustling sound when Mukuro turned at where he was lying on so he could look at the Cavallone with his orbs which colors were mismatched. Dino, upon noticing the gaze, slowly turned and Mukuro caught his breath in his throat the instant their visions were locked together, urges nearly slipping off the illusionist's grip as he glanced away.

"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be sleeping in your own room?"

"I didn't feel like sleeping just yet, and the only person I can have an intelligent conversation in this mansion is with you, Cavallone. Are you too tired on the other hand, though?" Mukuro tried to be as indifferent as he could, trying to hide his concern for the other (he barely recovered from a cold) and felt a little relieved when he noticed that colors were back to Dino again, his pale face no longer being all sickly.

Dino smiled, it's a different one from his usual ones, and Mukuro recognized that smile as one that Dino would always have upon realizing his concern and care.

"You're checking up on me, aren't you? You're worried?" When Mukuro thought it wasn't going to be possible, Dino's smile got even wider as the blonde shifted slightly closer to where he was, radiating happiness entirely and it was immediately that the illusionist flicked the other's forehead when he realized that the distance in between them was almost too close for comfort. "What was that for!"

Mukuro chuckled deeply at the sight of Dino rubbing at his forehead with a feigned hurt expression on his face.

"I just... I'm just curious, Cavallone."

Dino blinked as he raised an eyebrow, slowly pulling his hand away from where Mukuro had flicked him.

"Tsuna called you earlier, didn't he? Asking about me since it had already been seven months and..." In fact, the answer that Mukuro wanted to find was already displayed on Dino's face when blood suddenly rushed to where his cheeks were, and he couldn't help the way how his smile slowly morphed into a smirk. "... Did someone just tell his little brother fake news about how I'm actually still having violent mood swings? That I'm not really in the best state to return to the Vongola and that I should stay with you for some time more?"

Mukuro couldn't help but to let out a soft and short laughter when Dino threw a pillow at him out of embarrassment - he was totally flustered.

"... Get out!"

"You wish."

He had Dino's waist comfortably wrapped around his arms that night as they slept peacefully.

-current-

"It's your turn, now?"

"Gokudera told me about the both of you," Yamamoto gave a comforting smile as he placed a bowl of warm soup on the table, just right before where he was seated. Instead of feeling hungry like he should, Mukuro only felt repulsed at the sight of food and didn't even bother to stop the sigh which slipped from his lips. All he wanted right at the moment was to escape from this place, and to somewhere he could be completely alone so to find everything he had lost back. "And... I believe that you didn't do it."

Mukuro glanced away from the bowl of soup to Yamamoto's reassuring orbs, and shook his head lightly. As much as it felt nice to have someone to trust him, that someone wasn't a particular silly blonde who would give his all without minding getting nothing back.

"It's just temporal, isn't it?"

"No, Mukuro, no. This isn't just believing you based on instincts, but it's rather based on how you feel and how a person actually feels." Yamamoto's voice was firm, with a contradicting soft smile on his face and yet all the illusionist could do was to stupidly compare everything he saw with someone's. "There's no way as to why a normal person will hurt someone who they'll put their life down for."

He snorted almost immediately.

"He's just a stupid boy I'm close friends with, so why would I even do anything for him?"

"Because you love him." It felt as if an overly-stretched string underneath his chest, in his heart snapped that instant and he was felt every single urge within him to deny the fact until he saw those sad eyes of Yamamoto which just stopped him from doing so because they weren't filled with disgust. "You know, I've heard a lot about the both of you and Gokudera even told me that both of you have gotten really close after living together so long. I just have to go across the line that Gokudera and the others didn't dare to and every thing just makes sense now. It isn't even difficult."

But it was difficult for Mukuro to accept the terms that Yamamoto was apparently labeling them as. It was too forbidden and different for Mukuro to admit it since they were both guys and even if Yamamoto may seem to be accepting it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for Mukuro to feel alright for everyone to know since wasn't this precisely the reason why everything just didn't work anymore?

"That's absolute rubbish, Yamamoto Takeshi. Dino and I are both males-"

"People are entitled to love anyone they want, Mukuro."

But Dino and I weren't, Mukuro answered quietly as he stared at Yamamoto in disapproval, they really weren't.

-past-

In Dino's room, there would be a paper stuck onto the wall right beside his bed which had turned yellow throughout the long years. It had been there ever since Dino was four, Mukuro could remember, when his parents asked him to rank the importance of the people and the small child didn't hesitate to fill in every single lines with "family" as he used the nearest pencil he found. Ever since, it was as if Dino was hooked onto this childhood memory of his, altering it every now and then with a silly grin and trust Mukuro, sure it was nice to see his name up there even if the blonde still valued his family more. It was more than just reasonable since what was there to expect from a full-fledged family oriented Cavallone?

However, when it came to making formal decisions, the fact that Dino had to rank all of his loved ones was more than just a simple torture. It was tearing him apart.

"I told Romario about us," Dino whispered softly as he erased away the names he had filled in for the first two ranks, staring at them with eyes which didn't seem as bright as the usual days and from this, Mukuro could already feel his heart sink for whichever that was coming forward because at the sight of an upset Dino, nothing was ever right. "He didn't object to us, I mean.. He was shocked and disappointed like what I've expected but at least he accepted everything. But Mukuro,"

Their eyes met for a second before Dino lowered his head, and Mukuro could hear it all too clearly - Dino was holding back his tears.

"My family wouldn't, I realized, like he had said. Not everyone is as accepting, and my family will be in ruins if they realize... if they realize that I love you, a man, the way I'm supposed to love women, Mukuro. Everything will be in absolute chaos and... they'd leave, Mukuro. My family will leave and I can't, they are important to me-" Mukuro clenched his fists tightly, not wanting to hear the suggestion that he knew Dino had already thought of before speaking to him about this as he started walking from where he stood, to where Dino was. The blonde was fighting to stand still despite his trembling legs, and at the sight of how he was really breaking just literally broke a part of Mukuro instantly. "- But you are too, and it's just isn't fair that I've to pick because that's just too impossible."

Mukuro watched as Dino tried his best to at least, write something on the list to fill the first two empty rows up with his jittery fingers and that took all of the illusionist's self-restraints before he leaned forward to envelope the other in a tight hug in hopes that it would soothe the blonde because it was apparent that he was too shaken by the reality that he realized too late.

"I'm sorry, Mukuro."

Dino's soft whispers of cries were muffled as Mukuro pressed the blonde's forehead gently against his shoulder while patting him at his back repeatedly, trying to reassure the other that everything would be alright (even if he knew it wouldn't unless he gave up something) and that instant he really hated how helpless he felt, only being able to watch as someone he loved to get broken down because of useless views that exist for destruction.

"There's nothing to apologize about Dino-"

"But I'm giving you up even if it hurts,"

-current-

"Stop there and listen to me, Mukuro." Yamamoto grunted as he pushed Mukuro backwards from where he originally was standing at, wanting to keep him at this room which he wanted nothing more but to escape from because reality wasn't what the illusionist would want to speak about. "You shouldn't have to feel a need to hide because that is what I'd call to be wrong, do you know that?"

Mukuro shook his head, wanting to pause of all these nonsensical talks that he was made to go through with and was about to try to push his way past the Rain Guardian until the raven-haired male spoke again; this time, with words that shot him right at where his chest was.

"Hating is a sin, so how can loving someone be?"

Yamamoto ascertained, grabbing at his shoulders with before squeezing it comfortingly and Mukuro almost wanted to mock at just how badly the Rain Guardian wanting to give him some reassurance as if he was really lacking of it until he himself realized that it was all too true because yes, he really did needed them. He needed some small support or just someone telling him that it'd all be alright and that loving someone was just not wrong as much as he wouldn't admit it.

"I can't afford to let anyone know about this, Yamamoto."

He whispered softly, breaking down the first very wall he had build to keep people away and he could see the comforting smile that was on the Rain Guardian's face, as if the other was ever-ready to tell him that everything was alright.

"You're in the Vongola family, aren't you, Mukuro? And as a family we will all be ready to accept this fact with open arms if you ever choose to step out to tell all of us."

"... But that was exactly what caused the Cavallone's downfall."

-past-

"They found out, Mukuro. They found out, and then everyone's fighting and then... I'm in a loss, Mukuro. Help."

Having to receive that message right before he board the plane back to Japan came as a huge worry for the illusionist since he could almost sense the entire helplessness from Dino if he had to text him for help. He hadn't wasted a second further to dash away from where he was to the Cavallone mansion which he had already started to call a 'home' of his for quite some time yet he almost couldn't recognize a single thing inside his very own home when he reached.

There were dead bodies every where and they all belonged to the Cavallone family. Blood was visibly seen almost everywhere (walls, carpets, curtains, couches, stairways and all over those wounded bodies) and the stench of copper was almost overwhelming but all Mukuro could bring himself to think or to worry about that instant was Dino.

"... Dino," Mukuro whispered, his voice rasp as he looked at the blonde whose smile was completely missing from his face and was sitting on the edge of his bed looking lifelessly even if their eyes met when he entered the bedroom - thank god he's safe and unscathed. "What... what's wrong?"

They had only been separated for less than five hours, but it almost seemed like all the warmth and happiness of Dino had been drained entirely. His face was as pale as a piece of white paper and he was visibly shaking, with numerous emotions trying to evade his mind which he was fighting to keep clear. Mukuro seated himself beside the blonde carefully, trying to not startle the other before throwing an arm over his shoulder to pull Dino close, his grip on the other hard - god, he could've lost him in whichever that happened earlier.

"Someone heard the conversation I had with Romario and just... told everyone else in the family, Mukuro. Then things got so... ugly, and bloody." Dino's words were emotionless and Mukuro could only hugged the blonde's trembling frame even harder as he reassured the other with soft pats on his back, wanting to stay strong for the other. "Some of them just left quietly, while some of them got really enraged because of disgust, throwing insults to vent their emotions and then some of them got really protective and then they fought, Mukuro. They... harmed each other when they are supposed to be a family but no, they broke all those ties up just because I'm gay, Mukuro. Just because-"

Mukuro shushed Dino as he felt the other's arms tighten around him before sobs that the blonde had been trying to suppress slipping out of his throat loudly and tears which fell uncontrollably down from his infelicitous orbs stained the fabric of the shirt that he was wearing. He hadn't even wanted to imagine just how horrible Dino must feel deep inside him.

"Stop it, Dino. Just stop thinking already."

"-But they died because I'm gay, Mukuro. My family is not a family anymore and it's all because of me," Dino choked on his tears as he fought to speak, his hands slowly slipping away from Mukuro's shoulders. "I'm all to blame for all these lost lives yet I'm still here, breathing, surviving and alive."

It was immediate that he had a really awful gut feeling about where this was going to go.

"Don't you..."

Mukuro separated them from the hug as quick as he could, his mismatched pair of orbs widening immediately the next second at the sight of a blade that belonged to a pocket knife being buried deeply into where he recognized to be the blonde's abdomen and his heart went cold entirely that second.

"... Dino!"

-current-

Mukuro buried his face in his hands as he ignored the conversation that was going on between Tsuna and Yamamoto, with the Rain Guardian speaking up for him while leaving major details out like how he wanted - he made a mental note to thank the other later on for living up to his words because that really meant more than just a lot to him.

The secrets would be safely guarded and Dino... that was what he truly wanted, wasn't it?

He pulled away from his hands as he shifted his vision to where the bed next to him was, occupied by a particular blonde whose face was pale and almost colorless, his frail frame moving by the slightest bit whenever he breathed (thank god). He had been transferred from the hospital in Italy over here since as sadly as it sounded, being the sole survivor from the Cavallone's massacre there was no one who was able to take care of him except for the Vongola, putting the alliance into a good use and he had been in a coma ever since.

"The doctor said that you're refusing to wake up, Dino." Mukuro whispered softly as he glanced to where Tsuna was, watching the other's expression slowly softened into a convinced one while Yamamoto continued to speak. "Wasn't it you who told me to grow up and face the reality instead of living in illusions?"

Dino's asleep face looked peaceful, Mukuro realized, as he pushed soft strands of blonde locks away from his face gently. All those pained expressions of the blonde seemed to disappear and Mukuro could almost tell himself that everything would be alright that instant if not for how Dino opened his eyes all of a sudden, the next second.

-current-

Mukuro looked at Dino as the blonde glanced across the unfamiliar room that he was in curiously, with a soft smile stretched across his lips which made all those heavy stones in his heart a little easier to bear all of a sudden - simply because the other wasn't in tears anymore, even if it came with a cost of forgetting everything and right, even him. He had always heard in those dramas that Chrome had watched at home about how someone would dramatically erased his or her very own memory after being badly traumatized and to be honest, he hadn't believed in it until it really happened. Dino seemed to have taken the fact that he was a heir of a mafia family completely out of his mind and everything to do with his family actually - which practically meant everything.

To be honest, it was as if someone had pitied Dino and gave him a restart button in life.

"You can't... remember me anymore?" Mukuro spoke as Dino turned to look at him, a small smile appearing on his very own lips so to reassure the other from whichever questions he might have. "I'm Mukuro, Dino. Rokudo Mukuro."

Dino only shook his head lightly, his smile slowly turning into a sad one as he shifted entirely to just look at the other and Mukuro couldn't help but to notice that he was finally looking a lot healthier and less frail (much to his utmost relief).

"Were you someone.. important?"

Both Dino and Mukuro's visions flew to where the door was, where Yamamoto had been standing at for the whole time when he suddenly walked forward with an expression that Mukuro had a bad feeling about because he knew exactly what the Rain Guardian was intending to do.

"... Dino-san, Mukuro is your-"

Mukuro immediately stood up from where he was, urging Yamamoto to stop continue saying anything because he wasn't going to have Dino to go through what he couldn't handle again. It would break him too much, having to see the blonde from breaking twice when he had a chance to not just because of something harmful called love. Though Mukuro could understand Yamamoto's good intentions, but he only wanted the best for Dino and that was keeping him in the dark even if he would've to carry this secret all by himself - it was worth it either way, as long as Dino continued to smile that way without any tears.

"My..?"

Dino broke the silence with his soft voice, his vision alternating between Yamamoto and Mukuro inquisitively.

"Your best-friend, silly. Though you can't remember it's okay," Mukuro only smiled as he ruffled Dino's soft locks gently before biting back a soft sigh. "We can always remake those memories and become... best-friends again, right?"

Mukuro tried to hide the emotions which nearly overwhelmed him when Dino stared up at him with bright eyes which matched his infectious grin and said those following words which broke his heart almost immediately.

"Of course, I trust you."

They shouldn't be lovers again.

They couldn't afford the consequences again.

A/N: Oh urm, wow, I WROTE AN ONESHOT! LOOOL. This inspiration for 69D just came up all of a sudden and refuse to leave until I put all my KPOP fics aside and write it all out v_v I haven't beta-read this at all so you can pretty much know how awful it is and I'm sorry it didn't make sense I TRIED MY BEST LOL. It has been so long since I wrote a fic within a day and if you managed to get here without getting bored or left midway THANK YOU LET ME LOVE YOU DOWN ALRIGHT. It really means a lot to me since... yeah, It just means a lot to me. Review or not, I'm just glad that you've read it ;u; 3

ANDNOTHESADENDINGISAHAPPYEND ING. It just means that a sequel is possible alright /shot/ Just joking omfg LOL.

Yea gaise I've pretty much left the anime fandom but maybe another stubborn inspiration like this might strike so I won't cross out the possibilities of me writing for anime again LOL. Until then, bye gaise I love you all ;_; This place meant a lot to me it has most of my memories and I'm sorry for just becoming dead so suddenly alright. ;-;

If you're one of my old reader just know that I'LL MARRY YOU /shot/