Warnings/Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. After reading Monsters and Men by ShadowThorne, I was inspired to write this Grimm/Ichi/Shiro threesome, and since I'm such an emotional masochist, I wrote angst too. So warnings include yaoi, established threesome, implied sexual situations, language mostly from Grimmjow's dirty mouth, AU, OOCness and angst. I believe that's all you need to be warned for.

The story is kind of similar to my other story Help Me Remember You , where Shiro is suffering some unknown condition that I never really explain. Anyways, enjoy!

~x~

Hurts

~x~

"Grimmjow."

"Hm?" The bluenet hummed distractedly in answer, mouthing hot kisses down Ichigo's neck and purring at the feel of the younger orange haired man's fingers combing through his hair. Grimmjow absently felt a cool hand- Shiro's- trail down his spine.

"I'll be right back, okay?"

"Huh?" Grimmjow lifted his head up in question to face the albino, but his head was gently pushed down again to where Ichigo was looking up at the both of them with dazed confusion.

"Don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't stop, kay? Keep going."

"Uh, sure okay." Grimmjow rumbled back with faint bewilderment. They had everything they needed in the bedroom already, so what was Shiro going to get? He distinctly felt the albino's weight leave the bed, lifting his head again to see the pale man slip out the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Thrown by the oddness of the action, Grimmjow made to sit up but was quickly made aware of the one still pinned beneath him.

Annoyed at having been ignored, Ichigo yanked Grimmjow's head back down and slammed a fiery kiss onto his lips. Thoroughly distracted from his thoughts on Shiro, the eldest male quickly returned to ravishing the orange haired minx. It was only until afterwards Grimmjow and Ichigo were panting in exertion, slowly coming down from their euphoric high, did Grimmjow remember Shiro's words- and sat up quickly realizing that the albino actually hadn't come back.

Mildly concerned, Grimmjow rolled out of bed, raking through dirty clothes to find a pair of sweats. Ichigo leaned up on his elbows. "Grimm? What's up?" The orangette questioned with a quirked eyebrow. Usually the bluenet was a lazy ass who wouldn't move for hours after sex.

"Shiro's not here." Grimmjow replied distractedly, yanking up his pants before making his way to the door. Behind him, Ichigo frowned in realization as well and quickly searched for his own pair of pants in order to follow, feeling guilty that he hadn't realized it himself earlier- having been too distracted by solely Grimmjow.

Padding out into the living room, Grimmjow's heart thudded painfully in his chest when he immediately spotted Shiro's pale head of hair, even in the dimness of the room. The albino was sitting on the floor, with his back against the side of the couch, under the arm, with his legs folded up against his chest. His eyes were open, but it was as if he didn't hear Grimmjow walk in.

"Shiro?" Ichigo's voice was bewildered, and distinctly held a high note of worry as he came up beside Grimmjow and saw the same visage. He knelt beside the albino, carefully laying a hand on Shiro's loosely linked arms around his legs.

At the touch, the albino's eyes blinked and glanced over Grimmjow's silent form first before lowering to connect with Ichigo's worried orbs. He grinned. "Yeah Ichi?"

Ichigo's brow furrowed. "Why're you out here and sitting in the dark on the floor? What's the matter?" The orange head quickly looked over his shoulder at Grimmjow, but the taller man's expression was furrowed as well. He didn't have any answers either.

Shiro tilted his head. "Nothing's the matter. What're you doing out here anyways? It's late and ya should be in bed."

Ichigo was thrown. Shiro had been the one to have actually started earlier's sex, but apparently he'd removed himself from the equation for some reason and was acting like he expected them to have ignored him.

"Dumbass." Grimmjow grunted, finally putting his voice into the conversation and noticing how identical faces looked up at him at the sound. "You should be in bed too, yanno." Ichigo nodded quickly in agreement, tightening his hold on the albino's wrist.

Shiro chuckled. "Yeah okay. C'mon then. Let's go to bed." Laboriously and careful of his orange haired aibou, the albino stood up and took both their hands, leading them back to the bedroom the other two had just left to retrieve him.

Confused but content to let the matter rest for now, Ichigo followed willingly and shared a look with Grimmjow, the two of them silently promising that it would be talked about the next day. Shiro slept between them that night, with Ichigo glued to his back and his pale cheek resting on Grimmjow's bicep and the bluenet's heavy arm slung low over his and Ichigo's hip.

The next morning, Ichigo woke up tangled among Grimmjow's long limbs, squinting at the bright sunlight slanting in through the blinds. With a groan, the orange head rolled over away from Grimmjow's hot body and happily snuggled into the cooler sheets. His muddled brain picked out a missing body though, which prompted Ichigo to sit up and frown at Shiro's absence again.

Deciding to leave the bluenet dead to the world on his side of the bed, Ichigo clambered out of the tangle of sheets and padded out of the bedroom and down the hall. He wrapped a hand around the corner of the wall when he stepped into the kitchen, but there he froze for a moment, having found his missing albino.

Shiro was standing at the sink, with both hands braced on the counter and fully dressed. His expression was eerily blank, devoid of all emotion. His eyes were open but motionless, not appearing to have heard Ichigo walk in and showing no reaction to the world at all.

A little frightened, Ichigo hesitated before walking forward and carefully touched Shiro's back. "Shi…?"

Just like last night, at his touch, Shiro blinked and turned to face Ichigo, grinning again. "Morning Ichi. Want some breakfast?"

Shaking his head, the orangette grasped the albino's wrists in both hands and pulled the older man into facing him. "Shiro, what's wrong? Why're you acting so… strange?"

The albino quirked a pale eyebrow. "Whaddya mean? I'm fine." And to all appearances, he did look fine and even when Ichigo stared searchingly, he couldn't find anything that wasn't normal in his pale lover's appearance. But the nervous feeling bubbling in Ichigo's chest warned him otherwise.

Before Ichigo could question any more, Grimmjow shuffled into the kitchen, grumbling in his native German the whole while.

"Morning Grimm. Want some breakfast?" Shiro greeted identically, as he had Ichigo, with golden eyes focused on the bluenet that made himself at home at the dining room table.

Grimmjow's cyan eyes narrowed a little bit, remembering last night's oddity. "You okay now?" He questioned instead of an affirmative answer for food.

Shiro pursed out his lips in a huffy manner. "Yeah, I'm fine. What's with you guys anyways? Both asking me if I'm okay." The albino looked between both his lovers, giving them a suspicious look. "Did you two do something that I'm not gonna be happy about or something? Is there something gross in the fridge?"

Snorting, Grimmjow slouched over the table, leaning his head on his crossed arms. "Nah, nevermind then."

Laughing, Shiro ushered a quiet Ichigo over to the table to sit before beginning to pull out ingredients for pancakes, humming a fast-paced tune under his breath just like habit prescribed as Shiro's normal Saturday routine.

"Grimm…" Ichigo whispered as he sat down, scooting his chair closer to the bluenet and poking at one forearm to get his attention. At Grimmjow's answering grunt, the orange head continued. "He was like that again when I came out…"

Grimmjow lifted his head at that, frowning. "What? Like that? You mean from last night?"

Ichigo nodded, biting his bottom lip and lowering his eyes to the wooden tabletop. "He was really still, and didn't seem to realize I was even there until I touched him. He didn't even seem to realize what he'd been doing." The sounds of the albino in question making breakfast behind Ichigo comforted him despite his words.

Grimmjow sat up fully, directing his intense blue stare over at Shiro how was adding blueberries into the batter. "He seems fine now… you think anything's wrong?"

Ichigo shook his head in frustration. "You heard him. He thinks he's fine. Whatever it is… I don't know what it is. It's kind of freaking me out, Grimm." The orangette looked at Grimmjow with worried eyes.

Sighing, Grimmjow took one of Ichigo's hands and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Calm down, Ichi. Shi's gonna be alright. Look, if it happens again, we'll take him to your dad to try and figure out what's wrong. Kay?"

Somewhat appeased, Ichigo nodded and sat back somewhat in his chair just as the sound of raw bacon hitting the hot frying pan sizzled through the kitchen.

~x~

"I'm home." Grimmjow groaned wearily as he closed the door behind him and shucked off his shoes, noticing that Shiro's usual shoes were lined up beside his, but he didn't hear the usual answering 'Welcome home'. Thinking that the albino probably hadn't heard him, Grimmjow walked back to their bedroom to change into sweats.

He found Shiro sitting in the same position as he had been a week ago, on the floor beside the dresser with his knees pulled up under his chin- his eyes still open and Grimmjow remembered what Ichigo had said yesterday morning and realized he was right. Shiro didn't know he was there, even though they were essentially staring right at each other.

"Shiro?" Grimmjow asked loudly, hoping but failing to gain a response. Tossing his bag uncaringly to the bed, the bluenet quickly strode over to the motionless albino and crouched beside him, without touching the younger man. "Shiro." The bluenet repeated but his worry spiked because Shiro couldn't even be ignoring him at this point- his expression was too blank. The albino just wasn't there. "Shiro!" Desperate, Grimmjow grabbed his lover's upper arms and gave him a firm shake.

The white haired man blinked and his eyes refocused on Grimmjow. That same damn grin came back onto his face. "Welcome home Grimmjow. How was- Grimm? What's the matter?"

Grimmjow's expression was just pure confused disbelief. "What's the matter? You were- I don't even know! Don't you remember?" He gave Shiro another rough shake, angry that he didn't understand what was happening to someone he loved and that the albino didn't appear to realize what was making him so goddamned worried!

Shiro's eyes widened in surprise at the frantic shake, his hands flying up to brace himself on Grimmjow's arms to stop the shaking. "Whoa! Calm down Grimm! What're you talking about? 'I was' what? What don't I remember?" The albino sounded utterly bewildered, which only heightened further when Grimmjow bowed his head after hugging Shiro tightly to his chest. "G-Grimm? Are you okay?"

"Goddammit… goddammit!" Grimmjow cursed breathily, then again louder and much more viciously, startling the younger man clenched in his embrace. "No I'm not fucking okay! You're scaring me Shiro…" He whispered the last sentence, unable to remember the last time he had been genuinely scared before.

"I'm… sorry?" Shiro answered hesitantly, soothingly rubbing Grimmjow's back. "Seriously, I don't have any idea what you're talking about…"

And Grimmjow only hugged him tighter because of it.

~x~

"Well there's nothing physically wrong with him, in his brain or otherwise. I'm sorry but I can't see any problem." Kurosaki Isshin reported regretfully, unable to comfortably stand the disappointed visage of both his son and his elder blue haired lover. Shiro was in another room, changing back into his clothes after the CT scan.

"You didn't see him Dad," Ichigo whispered. "It's horrible. He's just so… hollow. It's like there's nothing there." Grimmjow's large hand was warm and comforting on his shoulder, which made Ichigo selfishly glad that he wasn't the only one suffering from this.

"How many of these, episodes let's say, has he had? How often?" Isshin inquired tentatively, unwilling to put his son in any further distress but as a doctor, needed to get some more information in order to diagnose his patient- in this case, his non-official son-in-law (one of them anyways).

Grimmjow shrugged helplessly. "Three so far as we know… the first one was a week ago around two in the morning, then the day after around eleven Ichigo saw him in whatever it is again. And then I came home yesterday and it was the same thing. He doesn't hear you call his name, and the only thing that seems to snap him out of it is if me or Ichigo touches him, but he never remembers doing anything weird."

Before Isshin could even hum thoughtfully, the door burst open and Karin yelled frantically. "Guys! Come quick! It's Shiro-nii! He just- He just froze!" The black haired girl's dark eyes were shaken and disturbed. She turned and ran back out of the room, leading the way as all three older men quickly followed her.

Ichigo was first to round the corner into the kitchen, stopping short with a choked off cry of distress at recognizing the expression. "That's it, Dad, why is he doing that? What's wrong with Shiro…?"

Yuzu was desperately tugging on Shiro's hand, but whose arm didn't even move under her tugs and the albino showed no reaction to even feeling her. The young brunette turned towards her family with tears in the corners of her eyes. "Onii-chan… Shiro-nii won't…"

Grimmjow cursed and stepped forward, fully intent on snapping their lover out of his most recent "episode" (god how he hated calling it that, it made it sound as if something was permanently wrong) but Ichigo's father stopped him with a hand to his arm.

"Wait," Isshin insisted. "I know this is hard, but wait. Let me look him over now that's he's in this condition. Maybe I can find out what's wrong." The man truly believed that his son and the bluenet were desperate enough for answers to allow him to do as he asked, otherwise they would have ignored him completely.

Instead, they remained put and Isshin crossed the room where Shiro had frozen standing upright this time, his pose looking as if he had been walking across the kitchen casually but had gotten stuck. It made Ichigo queasy thinking of this in such a comical way when it was actually scarily serious. Grimmjow's heavy arm was comforting around his shoulders.

Isshin stepped up in front of Shiro. "Shirosaki? Can you hear me?" He received no response. Cautiously, Isshin shone his light into the albino's pupils, alarmed when they didn't dilate- which showed that the body wasn't recognizing the light source. To all appearances, Shiro's senses had seemingly shut down. He couldn't hear those that called to him, didn't feel Yuzu's tugs, didn't see Isshin's flashlight. He literally appeared frozen, and Ichigo cried out in alarm when Isshin cautiously tried to move the younger man and Shiro teetered dangerously, his muscles stiff and unbending.

"Okay, enough. One of you wake him up." Isshin backed up and waved the two lovers forward hurriedly, sufficiently unnerved. In all his years as a doctor, never had he seen or even heard of something like this happening.

Ichigo latched onto Shiro's free hand and squeezed tightly. "Shi?" The orange head's voice was uncharacteristically timid, but he couldn't be blamed in this scenario.

Instantly with the touch (confirming Grimm's earlier words) Shiro blinked and completed his step forward, adopting the grin that had become common after he came out of one of his episodes. "Hey Ichi. When did you get out here? You too Grimm? Eh, what's the matter Yuzu-chan? Why're you cry…ing… Did I do it again?" Shiro's grin fell and his expression darkened with confusion. "I don't remember…"

Ichigo bit his bottom lip and squeezed his lover's hand even tighter. "Yeah, it happened again… and it seems only me or Grimm can wake you up once you freeze like that, and Dad can't figure out what's wrong."

Grimmjow angrily raked his fingers through his hair, frustrated by his inability to help someone he cared so strongly about. Shirosaki had been one of the first people who could stand up to him in a fight, and then stand alongside him for everything that came afterwards. The albino was truly an equal to Ichigo, who had come along near instantly afterwards. And now when Shiro really needed it, whether he knew it or not, Grimmjow couldn't help. It was infuriating.

"I'm sorry," Shiro whispered, directing his eyes downwards mournfully. "I'm sorry, Ichi; Grimm. So sorry." And Ichigo could only squeeze his hand tighter.

Deciding to keep quiet for now, while the atmosphere was already thick with tension, Isshin resolved to speak privately with Ichigo and Grimmjow once again, because if this condition of Shiro's was a progressive type, it could evolve from just shutting out the senses to a selective touch, to grow into a more paralyzing type that could perhaps even seize the motion of the albino's breathing. This had suddenly become a lot more dangerously serious than everyone had first thought.

~x~

Shiro truly was sorry. He still saw his everyday life as normally, though he grew to realize when he had just come out of an episode by the passing of time on the clocks, and an odd surge of happiness in his chest that made his customary grin grow on his face automatically. There didn't appear to be a source to the odd surge of intense joy, but Shiro could tell it had something to do with Ichigo and Grimmjow- them being of course the ones he saw immediately after he "woke up", because the two were the only ones who could "wake him up".

Shiro knew he was scaring Ichigo, and hell, Grimmjow too. He just didn't know what to do… He couldn't even tell if there was any kind of trigger to what caused his "freeze", because he'd be doing every day normal ordinary things and then suddenly Ichigo or Grimmjow would be right there, calling his name. He never remembered the passing of time when he "froze"; just one moment he was reaching for the pan and the next very second, Ichigo's hand was on his outstretched hand and a quick glance to the clock showed than nearly ten minutes had passed in that seemingly one second.

It depressed Shiro, because he knew he was making his lovers upset, but he couldn't do anything about it. The albino even briefly considered leaving the pair, even though the very thought pained him more than he could bear, but Isshin's warning words (relayed from Grimmjow) told him he ought not to. Even without the terrifying thought that he could eventually stop breathing in one of his future episodes, if Shiro left his lovers and experienced even a normal episode anywhere outside of their reach, he could very well die if no one else had the ability to "wake him up". He could be alone in an apartment, "freeze", and die because no one knew he had. And besides, Ichigo and Grimmjow wouldn't let him go even if he truly did try. Shirosaki really did love them, and really wished there wasn't anything wrong with him.

Because it hurts to hurt them this way- without even knowing he was doing it.

~x~

"Shiro…" Grimmjow sighed sorrowfully, having walked into the laundry room to check on his pale lover (as Ichigo and he had trained themselves to become used to doing if Shiro left the room and didn't return within five minutes) and yet again found the younger man "frozen".

Shiro's hands were planted on the ironing table, his shoulders hunched and his head lowered as if in thought, but those golden eyes were still wide open and sightless. The hiss of the iron beginning to burn one of their shirts was heard.

Grimmjow hurriedly lifted the iron and moved it carefully out of the way, switching it off for good measure. He touched Shiro's hand, sadly watching how the younger man grinned his automatic grin before it fell brokenly and Shiro's shoulders now slumped in depressed realization. As what had also become customary, the albino whispered an apology.

"It's not your fault." Grimmjow replied like usual, the words tired of having been repeated so often even as the bluenet cupped Shiro's familiar face in both hands and leaned their foreheads together. "It's not your fault…"

Neither said anything if tears were shed.

~x~

Ichigo rubbed his eyes tiredly. Simply none of the books he looked in were of any help. There was absolutely nothing that even remotely indicated to what Shiro was inflicted with. The closest thing to describing it was blindness, deafness, lack of sensory touch, and coma- all of which were of course wrong because they ceased to exist once they'd "unfrozen" Shiro.

Their relationship was suffering. It was still strong, and they were all truly devoted to one another and willing to do whatever it takes, but it suffered nonetheless with the worry and stress. Shiro couldn't afford to be left alone, which led to Grimmjow and Ichigo switching their work days on and off, which severely cut into their income, which Shiro constantly apologized over, but it couldn't be helped. Leaving Shiro alone wasn't an option.

As of the present, Shiro had yet to suffer an episode in the presence of Grimmjow or Ichigo. It was only if he was alone for any amount of time longer than a few minutes. If they both went to work, and Shiro stayed home like usual cooking something, and he froze in front of the stove- imagination was a cruel thing.

Ichigo shook his head to rid himself of the dejecting reminders and returned to his book. He'd find a way to cure Shiro. He would make damn sure of it.

PLEASE REVIEW AND SUGGEST WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE OF THIS STORY

I'm serious, if no one gives me any ideas, this will stay unresolved as is. :)