A/N: You know what's horrible? Whenever I listen to pop songs I get ideas for fanfiction.
Maybe its their ridiculous catchy-ness. Maybe its the way they rhyme like Dr. Seuss books. I
don't know what it is, but frankly I'm scared. I don't like pop music. In fact, I strongly dislike pop
music. But there's just no avoiding it these days. I'm more of a Nirvana, Green Day, Incubus,
Foo Fighters, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, NOFX, etc. kind of person. Anyway, my idea for this
fic 'popped' out of a pop song I heard on a commercial. I forget which one though - luckily. Also,
part of it is somehow inspired by the movie "Office Space" which I think is hilarious. Anyway,
here's my fic, I hope you enjoy.
Chapter One - "Swamped"
My heart was racing. I started to sweat. I knew I was in deep trouble, and everything seemed
utterly hopeless. My mind was going crazy and I was panicking. This was no way for the cool,
calm, collected (and eligible) President and CEO of Capsule Corporation to be acting. But I was
in big trouble this time. This was life or death. 'Oh my Kami,' I thought over and over, 'what the
hell am I going to do?' I had worked so hard to get to this point... and now I'm a mess. I have no
idea what I'm going to do without it. I think I'm going to cry.
I lost the budget report draft.
I frantically sifted through the mountains of papers on my desk. I know it has to be around my
messy office somewhere! Or I could have thrown it out along with the extra copies of last year's
budget report... I kicked over the trash can next to my desk and ran over to it, half expecting
that draft to jump into my hands and give me a big hug. But I was shocked to find my trash can
empty. There wasn't even a bag in it. Suddenly, realization. 'Phil the trash guy!' I ran out of my
office and stopped at the door. I could see the whole hall from there, and there was definitely no
Phil to be seen. In fact, the whole hallway was deserted, except for my secretary, Janet. She
was putting on her coat and getting ready to leave for the night. She looked up at me, and I
think she expected me to say something. I guess me flinging my door open and standing there,
panting as if I'd just run a marathon, was a little odd.
"Have you seen Phil - the trash guy? I think he took something by mistake," I began breathlessly
as I motioned back to my office and glanced over my shoulder at it. Then something caught my
eye on the floor near my desk. A thick packet of paper with a blue cover. Of course. The
budget report draft.
"Phil is doing his normal rounds," Janet said, eyeing me suspiciously. "Is something wrong?"
I could feel a huge wave of relief surge through my body, as well as a prickling of
embarrassment. "No," I answered quickly, "I just... needed a trash bag." As soon as I said it I
realized that I was a stupid, stupid man.
"Oh," Janet said, and I could hear the confusion and skepticism in her voice. "Well, I'm sure he'll
be around with the bags soon."
"Thanks Janet," I said, returning to my office, "have a good night."
"Are you staying late again, Mr. Briefs?"
"Just a little," I responded. Of course I was staying late. There was so much that still needed to
be done. I was way behind. I couldn't sleep knowing I left about a million tasks unfinished.
"It's seven o'clock," she said frowning. "Don't you have a family to go home to?"
She was new. She didn't know any better.
"No. Goodnight Janet."
She gave me a weak, but kind smile. "Goodnight Mr. Briefs."
Then she left, popping her gum and playing with her hair as she waited for the elevator, leaving
me the last person on the floor. I sighed and returned to my office, and snatched that stupid
draft off the floor. Jon, who I have dubbed 'the Gallant Asshole' had handed it to me last week,
and I was supposed to either approve it or return it to him with my own notes and revisions so he
could draft it up again with the changes. He had asked that I have it done within a week, and
then he walked out of my office in his usual manner - like he has a stick rammed up his ass. I
should have started this thing days ago, had I not been swamped with other various projects and
end of the quarter work. 'So yes, Janet,' I thought bitterly, 'I *am* working late again. I have a
*real* job that requires that I actually work hard instead of gossiping by the copy machine.'
I sat down and sighed. This was going to be another long night. I got back to work, ignoring my
grumbling saiyan stomach. Within half an hour, I was deeply engrossed in my work. Jon the
Gallant Asshole's budget draft kind of irked me. No, it *really* irked me. There were smiley
faces next to the company's savings and sad faces next to our expenses. He was such a weird.
I personally thought he was on the queer side, but he was always flirting with the women in the
office. I continued to go through his happy little budget draft. If he didn't do such a good job with
the figures, I would fire him for the nerve that man had.
The sudden loud ringing of the phone shattered the absolute silence of my office. I admit I
almost messed my pants. I quickly composed myself and picked up the phone.
"Trunks Briefs," I answered.
"Trunks, I was hoping you wouldn't answer," a familiar voice said. Goten's.
"You like talking to my voice-mail better than me?" I asked jokingly, glad for the break.
"Almost," Goten replied with a laugh. "Actually, I figured if you didn't answer it would mean you
were on your way home. I thought you said you were going to come with us tonight."
I scanned my aching brain. Us? Did I make this appointment? Er, I mean - did I say I would
go? And to where? I was completely dumbfounded. "Go where?" I asked.
"Well," Goten began, "You said you'd come out with Bra, Pan, Marron, Uub, and I tonight. To
the clubs or bars, like we used to."
"Oh," I said dumbly. I felt really bad. I did remember telling a very excited Pan I would love to
go. But really I couldn't. There was no way this work was going to finish itself magically before
the end of the quarter. "I'm sorry Goten," I said, "I really have a lot of work to finish. I'll be here
all night."
A pause. "Are you sure?" He asked. I could hear the disappointment in his voice. I could also
hear a girl's voice in the background. "Goten? What's wrong?" It was Pan's voice. I felt even
worse. Pan was always my drinking buddy. We're always told how funny we are when we're
drunk together. Fake accents and all. Our group - Goten, Pan, Bra, Marron, Uub, and I - hadn't
been out together for a month or two now. My sister and Pan had to study for and take their
finals to graduate, so we all agreed that none of us would drink or go to any clubs until they were
done their finals. It was our sacred pact. Now they were done, and they were out of college.
Each passed in the top of their class. Pan had come to me excitedly after the ceremony and
given me a hug.
"So," she had said then, nudging me, "when is my best buddy Trunks going to take me out to a
bar, so we can tell people our theory of the falling sky? Or better yet, when is my best buddy
Trunks going to get high with me so we can travel to the wonderful land of La-la?"
I remember noting that these were the first words I heard out of Pan after she graduated college
to embark on the long journey to discover and live her future. Good ol' Panny. Its no surprise
that she's one of my best friends. I had told her that I'd love to go, and all she had to do was tell
me the date, place, and time and I'd be there. Now I felt pretty bad.
"I'm really sorry," I said. "I'm swamped with paperwork and other crap to finish before the quarter
ends. I've got a week and I'm only about half-way done."
"Alright then," he said. I could tell that he understood and wasn't mad at me, but I still felt bad.
"If there's any way you can join us tonight we'll be at Midnight Sun. Good luck." I nodded to
myself as I sifted through some more paperwork on my desk. Midnight Sun was the club and bar
that we went to all the time. It was the only club that we knew of that didn't smell like piss and
puke.
"Thanks. And tell Pan I'm sorry and I'll make it up to her," I told him.
"I will. Later Trunks."
"See ya Goten."
I hung up the phone and got back to my paperwork. Not only did I have to go through Jon the
Gallant Asshole's budget draft, but I had a couple of other projects as well. Marie the Pissy Bitch
had written me a complaint a day, for about two months, about how the water cooler never held
'cool' water - it was always warm. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm the CEO of a large corporation. The
President and CEO. I have nothing to do with that damn water cooler. I crumpled her
complaints into one big ball and threw it at my door. I planned to leave it floating in the water
cooler the next day, or maybe throw it at her. Later I found another complaint from Marie the
Pissy Bitch, saying that there were never cups for the water cooler. Again, I am the PRESIDENT
and CEO of Capsule Corporation. Not the President and CEO of the water cooler.
I decided it was time for a break, and time, for once, to do something productive on my break. I
went into the hall, picked up the water cooler, and flew out about 50 feet over Marie the Pissy
Bitch's reserved parking space. I then proceeded to drop the water cooler so that it smashed into
a million pieces right on my target. I smirked. Time to get back to work.
The first thing I did when I got back was go over Marie the Pissy Bitch's performance review, to
see if she was expendable. Fortunately she was. I decided to look into firing her the next
morning, which merely involves getting my mother's opinion. My mother had known most of
these people for many years, but I had a feeling that Marie the Pissy Bitch wasn't one of her
favorites, and I'd have no problem getting rid of her.
Then it was on to more serious work. I worked until all hours of the night (or should I say
morning), and finally got done a suitable amount of work. I looked at the clock. It was 3am. I
usually never worked this late, but I had lost track of the time. I raked my hand through my hair
and rubbed my face. Damn was I tired. I decided I didn't feel like going home that night. It was
too late for that. The jacket to my suit was hanging on the back of my chair. I grabbed it as I
stood up, and hung it on the coat rack next to my office door. I took off my shirt and did the
same thing, and then proceeded to take off my pants. The thing I like about being a guy is that
you're always wearing your pajamas. I laid down on my couch, wearing only my boxers, and
pulled the throw blanket over me and fell into a deep sleep.
When 9:00am rolled around, I would have more work to do.
A/N: It's a little bit of a short chapter, but I hope you like it. Could you please review? I'll give you
a chocolate chip cookie if you do! Really though, I'd appreciate it if you'd review because I want to
know how you like this fic. I don't write for my health you know - I write for the reader.
Maybe its their ridiculous catchy-ness. Maybe its the way they rhyme like Dr. Seuss books. I
don't know what it is, but frankly I'm scared. I don't like pop music. In fact, I strongly dislike pop
music. But there's just no avoiding it these days. I'm more of a Nirvana, Green Day, Incubus,
Foo Fighters, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, NOFX, etc. kind of person. Anyway, my idea for this
fic 'popped' out of a pop song I heard on a commercial. I forget which one though - luckily. Also,
part of it is somehow inspired by the movie "Office Space" which I think is hilarious. Anyway,
here's my fic, I hope you enjoy.
Chapter One - "Swamped"
My heart was racing. I started to sweat. I knew I was in deep trouble, and everything seemed
utterly hopeless. My mind was going crazy and I was panicking. This was no way for the cool,
calm, collected (and eligible) President and CEO of Capsule Corporation to be acting. But I was
in big trouble this time. This was life or death. 'Oh my Kami,' I thought over and over, 'what the
hell am I going to do?' I had worked so hard to get to this point... and now I'm a mess. I have no
idea what I'm going to do without it. I think I'm going to cry.
I lost the budget report draft.
I frantically sifted through the mountains of papers on my desk. I know it has to be around my
messy office somewhere! Or I could have thrown it out along with the extra copies of last year's
budget report... I kicked over the trash can next to my desk and ran over to it, half expecting
that draft to jump into my hands and give me a big hug. But I was shocked to find my trash can
empty. There wasn't even a bag in it. Suddenly, realization. 'Phil the trash guy!' I ran out of my
office and stopped at the door. I could see the whole hall from there, and there was definitely no
Phil to be seen. In fact, the whole hallway was deserted, except for my secretary, Janet. She
was putting on her coat and getting ready to leave for the night. She looked up at me, and I
think she expected me to say something. I guess me flinging my door open and standing there,
panting as if I'd just run a marathon, was a little odd.
"Have you seen Phil - the trash guy? I think he took something by mistake," I began breathlessly
as I motioned back to my office and glanced over my shoulder at it. Then something caught my
eye on the floor near my desk. A thick packet of paper with a blue cover. Of course. The
budget report draft.
"Phil is doing his normal rounds," Janet said, eyeing me suspiciously. "Is something wrong?"
I could feel a huge wave of relief surge through my body, as well as a prickling of
embarrassment. "No," I answered quickly, "I just... needed a trash bag." As soon as I said it I
realized that I was a stupid, stupid man.
"Oh," Janet said, and I could hear the confusion and skepticism in her voice. "Well, I'm sure he'll
be around with the bags soon."
"Thanks Janet," I said, returning to my office, "have a good night."
"Are you staying late again, Mr. Briefs?"
"Just a little," I responded. Of course I was staying late. There was so much that still needed to
be done. I was way behind. I couldn't sleep knowing I left about a million tasks unfinished.
"It's seven o'clock," she said frowning. "Don't you have a family to go home to?"
She was new. She didn't know any better.
"No. Goodnight Janet."
She gave me a weak, but kind smile. "Goodnight Mr. Briefs."
Then she left, popping her gum and playing with her hair as she waited for the elevator, leaving
me the last person on the floor. I sighed and returned to my office, and snatched that stupid
draft off the floor. Jon, who I have dubbed 'the Gallant Asshole' had handed it to me last week,
and I was supposed to either approve it or return it to him with my own notes and revisions so he
could draft it up again with the changes. He had asked that I have it done within a week, and
then he walked out of my office in his usual manner - like he has a stick rammed up his ass. I
should have started this thing days ago, had I not been swamped with other various projects and
end of the quarter work. 'So yes, Janet,' I thought bitterly, 'I *am* working late again. I have a
*real* job that requires that I actually work hard instead of gossiping by the copy machine.'
I sat down and sighed. This was going to be another long night. I got back to work, ignoring my
grumbling saiyan stomach. Within half an hour, I was deeply engrossed in my work. Jon the
Gallant Asshole's budget draft kind of irked me. No, it *really* irked me. There were smiley
faces next to the company's savings and sad faces next to our expenses. He was such a weird.
I personally thought he was on the queer side, but he was always flirting with the women in the
office. I continued to go through his happy little budget draft. If he didn't do such a good job with
the figures, I would fire him for the nerve that man had.
The sudden loud ringing of the phone shattered the absolute silence of my office. I admit I
almost messed my pants. I quickly composed myself and picked up the phone.
"Trunks Briefs," I answered.
"Trunks, I was hoping you wouldn't answer," a familiar voice said. Goten's.
"You like talking to my voice-mail better than me?" I asked jokingly, glad for the break.
"Almost," Goten replied with a laugh. "Actually, I figured if you didn't answer it would mean you
were on your way home. I thought you said you were going to come with us tonight."
I scanned my aching brain. Us? Did I make this appointment? Er, I mean - did I say I would
go? And to where? I was completely dumbfounded. "Go where?" I asked.
"Well," Goten began, "You said you'd come out with Bra, Pan, Marron, Uub, and I tonight. To
the clubs or bars, like we used to."
"Oh," I said dumbly. I felt really bad. I did remember telling a very excited Pan I would love to
go. But really I couldn't. There was no way this work was going to finish itself magically before
the end of the quarter. "I'm sorry Goten," I said, "I really have a lot of work to finish. I'll be here
all night."
A pause. "Are you sure?" He asked. I could hear the disappointment in his voice. I could also
hear a girl's voice in the background. "Goten? What's wrong?" It was Pan's voice. I felt even
worse. Pan was always my drinking buddy. We're always told how funny we are when we're
drunk together. Fake accents and all. Our group - Goten, Pan, Bra, Marron, Uub, and I - hadn't
been out together for a month or two now. My sister and Pan had to study for and take their
finals to graduate, so we all agreed that none of us would drink or go to any clubs until they were
done their finals. It was our sacred pact. Now they were done, and they were out of college.
Each passed in the top of their class. Pan had come to me excitedly after the ceremony and
given me a hug.
"So," she had said then, nudging me, "when is my best buddy Trunks going to take me out to a
bar, so we can tell people our theory of the falling sky? Or better yet, when is my best buddy
Trunks going to get high with me so we can travel to the wonderful land of La-la?"
I remember noting that these were the first words I heard out of Pan after she graduated college
to embark on the long journey to discover and live her future. Good ol' Panny. Its no surprise
that she's one of my best friends. I had told her that I'd love to go, and all she had to do was tell
me the date, place, and time and I'd be there. Now I felt pretty bad.
"I'm really sorry," I said. "I'm swamped with paperwork and other crap to finish before the quarter
ends. I've got a week and I'm only about half-way done."
"Alright then," he said. I could tell that he understood and wasn't mad at me, but I still felt bad.
"If there's any way you can join us tonight we'll be at Midnight Sun. Good luck." I nodded to
myself as I sifted through some more paperwork on my desk. Midnight Sun was the club and bar
that we went to all the time. It was the only club that we knew of that didn't smell like piss and
puke.
"Thanks. And tell Pan I'm sorry and I'll make it up to her," I told him.
"I will. Later Trunks."
"See ya Goten."
I hung up the phone and got back to my paperwork. Not only did I have to go through Jon the
Gallant Asshole's budget draft, but I had a couple of other projects as well. Marie the Pissy Bitch
had written me a complaint a day, for about two months, about how the water cooler never held
'cool' water - it was always warm. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm the CEO of a large corporation. The
President and CEO. I have nothing to do with that damn water cooler. I crumpled her
complaints into one big ball and threw it at my door. I planned to leave it floating in the water
cooler the next day, or maybe throw it at her. Later I found another complaint from Marie the
Pissy Bitch, saying that there were never cups for the water cooler. Again, I am the PRESIDENT
and CEO of Capsule Corporation. Not the President and CEO of the water cooler.
I decided it was time for a break, and time, for once, to do something productive on my break. I
went into the hall, picked up the water cooler, and flew out about 50 feet over Marie the Pissy
Bitch's reserved parking space. I then proceeded to drop the water cooler so that it smashed into
a million pieces right on my target. I smirked. Time to get back to work.
The first thing I did when I got back was go over Marie the Pissy Bitch's performance review, to
see if she was expendable. Fortunately she was. I decided to look into firing her the next
morning, which merely involves getting my mother's opinion. My mother had known most of
these people for many years, but I had a feeling that Marie the Pissy Bitch wasn't one of her
favorites, and I'd have no problem getting rid of her.
Then it was on to more serious work. I worked until all hours of the night (or should I say
morning), and finally got done a suitable amount of work. I looked at the clock. It was 3am. I
usually never worked this late, but I had lost track of the time. I raked my hand through my hair
and rubbed my face. Damn was I tired. I decided I didn't feel like going home that night. It was
too late for that. The jacket to my suit was hanging on the back of my chair. I grabbed it as I
stood up, and hung it on the coat rack next to my office door. I took off my shirt and did the
same thing, and then proceeded to take off my pants. The thing I like about being a guy is that
you're always wearing your pajamas. I laid down on my couch, wearing only my boxers, and
pulled the throw blanket over me and fell into a deep sleep.
When 9:00am rolled around, I would have more work to do.
A/N: It's a little bit of a short chapter, but I hope you like it. Could you please review? I'll give you
a chocolate chip cookie if you do! Really though, I'd appreciate it if you'd review because I want to
know how you like this fic. I don't write for my health you know - I write for the reader.