Disclaimer: Once upon a time, there was a teenager who had nothing better to do one day than watch TV. She then stumbled upon a kid's show with lots of people running around dueling with monsters, babbling about the Heart of the Cards, and giving treatises on the glory of cartoons. She found this all immensely entertaining, and decided to write a story using said characters, all of whom belonged to persons other than her.

Or in other words, Yu-Gi-Oh is not mine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Like one that on a lonesome road
Doth walk in fear and dread,
And having once turn'd round, walks on,
And turns no more his head;
Because he knows a frightful fiend
Doth close behind him tread."

--"Rime of the Ancient Mariner," Coleridge

It's happening again, Ryou Bakura thought, staring at the Millennium Ring in his hand.

The Ring had begun tugging on him as soon as he entered the class and walked past Yugi to his desk.  This wasn't the first time it had happened, and it was beginning to make Ryou wonder if Yugi were like him.  That heavy pyramid the teen wore around his neck bore a resemblance to his Ring, in style if not shape.

He quickly pushed those thoughts aside, for fear that they would rouse Him: the spirit within the Ring.  The last thing Ryou wanted today was its attention.  Today, he had to be perfectly unobtrusive and unimportant.

Even so, if Yugi was like him, the wild-haired boy had his sympathy.  Only...Yugi seemed to have no concerns about making friends the way Ryou did, even though he wore that pyramid....So he must be wrong.  He had no idea why the ring would point to Yugi, but for whatever reason, it wasn't because they were similar.

Ryou forced the thought away and focused on his notes with a single-mindedness that was almost ferocious.  It was an attempt to dull His interest in Ryou's life and surroundings right now.  After a few more moments, the Ring stopped pointing and lay inanimate in his hand.  Ryou held his breath, but by some great fortune, the spirit seemed to not have noticed that there had been any sort of change, now or then.

Ryou exhaled quietly, then slid the Ring's cord back over his neck and tucked it beneath his shirt.  He rarely wore the Ring out at school, after he'd been attacked twice by bullies who thought they could get a good price for it.  The spirit had had to step in both times to help him, and while it had seemed to enjoy taking the teenagers down, Ryou had started hiding the Ring to avoid trouble.

Once it was out of his sight, he felt marginally better, but he knew not to let his guard down.  The spirit could still get to him and read his thoughts, so long as he wore the Ring.  So he had to be careful.

~~~~~

The rest of the school day had worn on just like any other, and the spirit hadn't spoken once.  In fact, Ryou couldn't recall it talking all day.

As he walked home, Ryou wished that he'd lost his mind sometime in the past year.  After all, spirits didn't constantly talk in people's heads and live inside jewelry, or beat and possess people who wore it.  Sane people, at least.  It was possible.

If he tried really hard, Ryou could almost convince himself that all the threats and bruises were some twisted form of self-punishment, that the blackouts were the result of a horrible psychosis he had.  Finding out he was just crazy would be much better than continuing to know that his current existence was for real.

Ryou abandoned those thoughts once he realized where they were leading, concentrating instead on the trees and pavement and any other general thing that was around him.  The spirit didn't like it when he tried to believe He wasn't real.

He didn't want it to be angry or mocking today--he needed Him to stay exactly like this: preoccupied or too bored to pay attention or asleep even, if that was possible, if it did sleep; Ryou didn't know.  He'd often found himself waking up, tired beyond belief, when all he could remember of the last evening was going to bed for the night--so he knew He must have taken control of his body.  Ryou was afraid to know what the spirit did with him, however.  Even though he hated being in the dark, he knew enough about its vicious nature to be afraid of what he might learn.  Sometimes he'd had to scrape dirt or dried blood out from under his fingernails in the morning.

But, at the same time, there were instances when its presence was just absent.  Like now, for example.  It could be possible that there were times when He slept, Ryou supposed; they just didn't coincide with his own.

He made his mind drift away, listening to a bird singing in the tree he was walking under.  Whatever was bringing this reprieve, he couldn't stir it up.  He had to make everything work today.

The idea had been around for a long time, drifting in the darkest part of his brain where coherent thought didn't exist, and maybe that was why He hadn't heard it and punished him for it yet.  It had taken a long time for Ryou to be willing to attempt it, and even longer to find a chance--he could only think during snatches of time when the spirit was inattentive.

Now the time had come, though, looming and somber before him, and in the face of it it almost seemed better to simply submit to Him, because fighting back would require this.

But he wouldn't allow himself to think those thoughts either, so instead he concentrated on the ordinary all around him, to prevent the spirit from noticing his thoughts and to keep himself from backing down, from giving up and giving in and being an unwilling slave to fear and shame the rest of his life.

Or however much life he was "given."  The spirit had made it clear that Ryou's life was at its mercy, and though he didn't understand the metaphysics of that statement, he did understand the pain.

Mundane and simple thoughts, he reminded himself.

~~~~~

Ryou unlocked the front door and let himself into the house.  It didn't feel like a home yet--there were still a few boxes in the hall he and Father hadn't gotten around to unpacking yet.  He pushed the door shut behind him, blinking in the sudden gloom.  His father was away at a lecture for the evening, and the house felt that much more empty and bigger when he was alone. 

He toed off his shoes and trudged through the front hall, glancing reflexively at the mantle as he passed by.  A picture of his mother sat up there; one she'd given to Father back when they were still dating.  He missed her at times.

He snapped on the kitchen light and thought about making a snack.  As he walked to the fridge, he banged his knee against a chair.

"Oww," Ryou said, bending over to rub his injured limb.  The Ring slid out from his uniform and swung slightly in the air.  The fluorescent lighting flashed on its gold surface.

Even though he didn't want to, he still felt a stab of hatred toward his father while he stared at the ring, gleaming sickly in the light.  In some small way, his life as it was now was the fault of his father.  He was the one who had picked up the Millennium Ring while on an archeological dig and brought it back to Ryou, saying he "was destined for it."  He wouldn't be suffering as he did now if it weren't for that destiny, Ryou thought bitterly. 

Then he sighed.  Be that as it may, he conceded, Father can't be blamed.  He would never have bought the Ring if he had an idea of what it held.

The next thing Ryou knew, he could feel the spirit's presence growing at the back of his mind.  No! he thought blindly.  Please, no!  Don't ruin this!

It paid him no heed.  Shut up, landlord.  You've done nothing but think nonsense all day, came His voice, laconic and hateful.  Ryou gripped the counter and bent his head, hoping to simply ride this out and be done with it.

There's no point in whining about your fate, He continued.  You can't get rid of me.

This was true, Ryou knew.  He could remove the Ring at times, like he had briefly at school, but the one time he had thought about throwing it away, the spirit had taken over before he could do anything and locked him in his soul room for a week.  When he was allowed to resume to control, it was to find that his grades had plummeted, his friends weren't talking to him, and his father had grounded him for the rest of the month. 

He hadn't tried anything after that.

It knew Ryou was thinking about that particular incident--he'd long ago learned it could read his mind, or something similar.  Exactly, the voice in his head said smugly.  So accept your lot.  Believe me, I had no desire to be chained to you....

For a horrible moment, Ryou held his breath, afraid He would remain all night and everything be lost.  Now keep the Ring on and shut up, the harsh voice finished.

Ryou clenched his fist.  If he couldn't take the Ring off, it would be almost impossible to make this work....

He could feel its impatience growing.  He hesitated for a second, then let go of the counter and grasped the Ring, tucking it back inside his sweater.  It felt heavier than ever. 

After that, the spirit seemed to have no interest in him any longer, and drifted away back to the Ring or wherever it was He went when not tormenting him.

Ryou stared blankly down at the floor for a minute, and then opened the fridge, beginning to make himself a sandwich.

~~~~~

The rest of the day passed like any other.  It was now after sunset, and his father still hadn't returned.  Probably for the best, he thought as he turned off the television and stood up from the couch.  Better to not have any distractions.  But he still felt a pang of fear when he thought about how cold and dark the house was. 

I'll be all alone, he realized.  But that's what I want.  That's why I'm doing this.

To confuse the spirit to the meaning of his thoughts, Ryou sat down at the kitchen table and began working on his math.

After he'd done two problems, he yawned, stood up, and left the kitchen, heading for the staircase.  His original plan had been to leave the Ring on his desk when he went to take his shower so the spirit wouldn't be able to reach him.  It wouldn't have been suspicious, because he never showered with it on whenever possible--he hated the feel of the cold metal against his bare skin.  The Ring never seemed to get warm, no matter what.  But now he had a direct order not to take it off.

Inside his room, Ryou pulled off his sweater and folded it over the chair beside his desk.  He lifted the Ring's cord, but decided it was too risky.  He would have to be fast, then--there was no other option.  He removed his socks, too, and threw them onto the chair as well before walking toward the bathroom.

~~~~~

He had taken the razor from his father's bathroom that morning so he wouldn't have to consciously think about anything when the time was crucial.

Now he removed the blade mechanically, his mind not on what he was doing but rather on the basketball game Joey and Tristan had gotten together with some of the boys and girls in their class during lunch.  He turned the water on hot and almost smiled as he remembered Tea yelling at Joey for peeking up the girls' skirts whenever one of them shot the ball.

Ryou held his first wrist under the faucet, wincing when the hot water scalded his flesh.  Cold might have been a better choice, to numb the pain, he reflected, but he knew he wouldn't have much time once the spirit realized what was happening, and he hoped the hot water would make the blood run faster.

Ryou held the blade above his wrist for a second, centering it on the largest vein, then clenched his teeth and drove it down.

The sudden, intense pain made him scream, and he lost his hold on the razor.  It clattered into the sink, an inch away from the drain.  Ryou grabbed his wrist reflexively, then braced his elbows on the counter when he felt his knees trying to buckle.  He'd hoped it wouldn't be this bad....

Then, with nauseating horror, he realized that the spirit had sensed what he was doing, and was coming to stop him.

No, he thought, I won't let you take this from me.  Ryou groped in the sink for the razor, nicking his fingers in the process.  The water and the blood on his hand made the blade slippery, and he almost dropped it again as he brought it back up to his wrist.

Ryou jammed the blade back into his arm, crying out once more in agony but managing to keep his grip this time.

What the hell are you doing?! the spirit shouted inside his head as it began to take over his body. 

Ryou bit his lip and fought its assault, even managing to drag the razor upwards a little and tear open more of his flesh.  But he was rapidly losing the battle against Him and the pain.

"No!" he cried futilely, blacking out as the spirit forced itself into control.  The last thing he heard was the razor falling to the floor.

~~~~~

When he woke up again, he felt dizzy, his throat was dry and it was hard to open his eyes.  The Ring was heavy on his chest.

"Ryou?" said a quiet, nervous voice from far away.  He was being shaken.

He knew the voice: it was his father.  That meant...

Ryou managed to force his eyes open.  He was lying on the bed in his room, with his father standing over him, looking concerned.

...he had failed.  He was alive.

Ryou closed his eyes again in defeat.

A large, warm hand placed itself over his forehead.  "Son, are you all right?  What happened to your wrist?" his father asked.

Ryou lifted his arm slightly and looked.  His wrist was neatly bandaged, and there was no sign of blood anywhere.  Even his shirt had been changed.  For a moment, Ryou was surprised that the spirit had gone to such efforts to clean him up--it had never seemed to care about him before.

"Nothing," he answered.  "I accidentally cut myself."  He didn't know if it had also cleaned up the bathroom, so he just lay back and avoided his father's eyes.

The elder Bakura looked even more grave.  "Do I need to take you to a doctor?  I think you need a tetanus shot."

Ryou shook his head.  "No, Father, I'm fine.  I just lost a little blood, so I decided to take a nap."  There used to be a time when he couldn't lie off the top of his head like this, he recalled regretfully.

His father remained unconvinced.  "Stay here, then, and I'll get you some juice.  And tomorrow, you're going to the doctor."  He straightened up and left the room.  Ryou could hear his footsteps on the stairs.

He closed his eyes and leaned back against the pillow.  The weight on his chest was pressing him into the mattress.  He touched the cold metal of the Ring and thought: it didn't work.  It might have been his only chance at freedom, and he had bungled it horribly.

A weight settled on the edge of the mattress.  He hadn't heard his father coming back up the stairs....

Ryou opened his eyes.  A transparent image of the spirit was there, sitting on the bed, looking so much like him and yet different.  He froze.

"I'm not surprised," He said, reading his thoughts.  "You aren't strong enough to have gone through with it.  You coward--couldn't even kill yourself without screaming," it mocked, staring down at Ryou like an annoying insect.

There were footsteps on the stairs again.  His father was coming...no! Was the spirit visible to anyone else?  His father couldn't see this!  What would it do to him if it were found out?  Ryou desperately wanted to stand up, run and lock the door and protect his father from this...this evil across from him, but he couldn't move.

It smirked at him, then glanced to the door.  The footsteps were approaching.

Ryou shot Him a terrified look.  "Please, go!" he begged, not caring if it would get him into even more trouble.  "Stay away from him!"

The spirit gave him a cold look.  "You're pleading for the same person you hated a few hours ago."  He snorted, clearly thinking less of Ryou for his compassion.  Then it braced a hand on the bed and leaned forward, still glaring at him.  "You're going to pay for this act, you little fool," He said quietly.  "You won't dare anything once I'm done."  Then, thankfully, it disappeared.

Ryou struggled to calm his pounding heart, but he couldn't.  The spirit petrified him, and he was already imagining what would happen to him for this.  It had to keep him alive, he knew, so that it would have a body, but it didn't seem to care if his mind wasn't in healthy condition.  Ryou bit his lip and forced his face into passivity as his father walked in.

"Here's your juice," he said, setting the glass down beside the bed.  "Get some rest."  He patted Ryou on the head twice, then left again, turning out the light as he went.

Frightened and exhausted, Ryou watched the moonlight creeping in from his window play on the glass.  The Ring weighed upon his chest, making it harder to breathe.  He felt hollow. 

After some time had passed, Ryou fell asleep rubbing the bandage on his wrist.

~~~~~

That had been a few weeks ago.  Now, he waited until the security guards had finished their rounds of this section of the ship before sneaking out of his hiding place and walking down the corridor.

He pushed open the heavy door, wincing slightly at the sharp pain in his wrist.  Despite the shoddy job he'd done, he'd still cut deep.  He'd managed to keep the doctor from examining his wrist, mainly because he didn't want to worry his father, but in doing so it had taken his arm longer to heal.  If he put too much weight on it sometimes, it would hurt again.

Ryou walked out to the railing and took a deep breath of the sea air.  The salt breeze tasted good on the back of his throat, but it also reminded him that he hadn't had much to eat today.  He deliberated on whether sneaking into the ship's kitchen for a meal would be worth the risk.  He didn't want to think of what the spirit would do if he were thrown off the boat.

He didn't know why he was on board this ship to the Duelist Kingdom.  He'd heard all about it at school--Yugi had been selected as a contestant--but when he'd arrived home that afternoon, the spirit had taken him over before he could even kick his shoes off.

When he'd been returned to his body, his deck was in his pocket and he was in a cramped, fishy-smelling closet.

If you get caught, you'll wish you managed to kill yourself, He had hissed at him, before falling strangely quiet.  The quiet itself hadn't been strange--the spirit often used silence against him whenever Ryou severely angered it, pretending to withdraw and give him some peace before suddenly attacking.  Doing that left Ryou always waiting and jumping at every little noise, so he was a mental wreck before it even touched him.  The silence had been strange because He didn't seem angry this time, but rather waiting.  Studying.

Sighing, Ryou took another breath before pushing away from the rail.  It wasn't safe to be out here--a guard could see him, and then what?  He wouldn't put it past the spirit to kill, throwing the body overboard before removing all traces of having done anything.  He shuddered, not sure if the thought or the fact that he could almost picture it sickened him more.

There was a noise in the crates at the far end of the deck.  Ryou jerked in surprise, then turned, brushing his hair over his face to hide it, and walked back to the door as quickly as could look natural.  He got inside without any trouble, and crept back into the closet.  Any thought of food had been abandoned.

~~~~~

He managed to escape the ship on his own, hiding in one of the crates.  After he was safely out of sight of the cruiser and the guards surrounding it, he stopped walking and leaned against a tree.  All the other duelists were heading for a large staircase leading up to Pegasus' castle, but Ryou wasn't certain it was safe to follow.  He watched as dozens of people made their way toward the castle.

"Now what?" he asked, mainly to himself.

I have a special use for you, landlord the spirit answered, startling Ryou.

He felt the spirit's presence again, but this time it was different.  He wasn't being forced into unconsciousness....

...he was being removed!  Ryou tried to fight the pull, but he had no idea how.  The world blurred slightly, then faded into a strange blue-gray mist.

He had a brief sensation of floating, before the darkness took him over.