Heart Swap

Author Notes: SoulSilvershiping is one my favorite shippings to write, especially from Silver's perspective. This one was a lot of fun to write and I hope it is a lot fun to read as well.

It is one the biggest clichés in films, television shows, novels, fanfiction, or virtually any other fiction story-telling media you can think of.

The dreaded and omnipresent body switch.

Everyone knows how this and song and dance goes. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl are infatuated but can't admit their feelings for each other. Then, some type of convenient magic, a spell or wonder that always manages to conveniently defy the laws of physics I might add, will cause said boy and girl to switch bodies, subsequently understand each other infinitely better than they did before, and ultimately push them to admit their love for each other.

Do you want to puke? Do you need a toilet? Well, guys and girls, get behind me because the line starts here. I don't think that even I could resist throwing up after recounting my tale of woe and melancholy, a tale that is inextricably wrapped up with body-switching and all the folly that comes along with it.

I think that someone cut the red string of fate; perhaps Vega and Altair couldn't stand the idea of seeing each other only once a year and decided to do something about it.

Didn't anyone ever teach the gods not to play with sharp objects?

As you may have guessed, I have switched bodies with a certain girl. Whose body am I currently inhabiting you might wonder? Well, I have a clue for you. What person would be the most troublesome to body switch with, the biggest nuisance on either side of the Burned Tower? I'll give you a hint: big almond eyes, unfettered optimism, stupid marshmallow hat that I gave to a wild Growlithe, who is now still happily chewing, an hour ago.

If you guessed Lyra, then you win a cookie. We have oatmeal raisin, macadamia nut, and even chocolate chip for only 15 cents extra.

If you purchase a large drink, then we'll rescind the surcharge for the chocolate chip.

The more intelligent among you might be wondering how this madness, this unrestrained chaos, happened to a nice guy like me. To be honest, I have no intention of going into any of the details of the initial cause of my misfortune, perhaps because I don't want to but more likely than not because it's really none of your damn business.

If you want to put something under a microscope, then find some streptococcus or E. coli but please refrain from playing scientist with my life.

I will tell you the rudiments of what happened to me however. This decision does not stem from charity but rather necessity because it would be needlessly difficult to follow my narrative without a little bit of back-story.

Essentially a Manaphy, the light blue water Pokémon with stubby feet and club-like arms, decided that using her heart-swap ability would be hilarious and that is why I am trapped in Lyra's body and why she is trapped in my body.

Now whether or not I did anything to aggravate that nuisance is a completely separate issue and one that will not be covered in the syllabus. If you would like to know more, then you better ask Lyra because you have better chance of finding a Zangoose and a Seviper making out on a pile of 24 carat gold Rolex watches then you have of me revealing any more information about the incident.

Anyway, after it began to get really late, Lyra and I decided to check in a hotel. Of course, destiny hates me and they only have one room available. If you guessed that the situation transmogrified into an unbelievably awkward one, then you get another cookie. I won't even charge extra for the chocolate chip upgrade this time.

The sun must have been playing the game, "let's try to burn the Earth today" because it would be silly to try use words to describe how ridiculously hot, and humid, the weather is. Amplifying the problem, Lyra, who of course is in my body, is staring at me apprehensively and suspiciously as if I am planning to do something perverted to her body at any moment.

"I am going to take a shower," I said, glaring at Lyra. I can say with confidence that staring at myself in 3-D was nothing like staring at myself in a mirror. If I was a science-fiction writer, then I would probably be inspired to write a best-seller but now all I wanted to do was run away from my own piercing gaze. Were my eyes really that cold? I could now understand why people were scared of me. My eyes, Silver's eyes, were harsh, indiscriminately staring at me, gazing into my soul, stripping away my security and my self-confidence. How had Lyra mastered my glower in such short-order anyway?

"You are not taking a shower," Lyra answered. "Do you really think I would let you play with my boobs and who knows what else in the shower?"

"You idiot," I countered. "I don't want to play with your boobs. I want to wash off because I feel sweaty and gross."

"Well that's not going to happen," Lyra said with a smug look on her face.

"You can take your commands and shove them up your ass. For right now, this is my body and I'll be washing it."

With that declaration of independence, I made my way toward the shower. Who does she think she is anyway? We have no idea how long this heart swap will last and I sure don't plan to forfeit my basic human rights like showering and going to the bathroom because marshmallow hat thinks every guy in the world is some type of deviant.

I am not a pervert. I am nice guy who happens to love cleanliness. I definitely would have made sure that these breasts, along with the other parts of her body of course, were squeaky clean and if insuring cleanliness involves me drenching this body with liquid soap and fruity lotion, then Lyra's ego might have to write that off as collateral damage.

"I see that smirk Silver," Lyra remarked dryly. "If you want to take a shower, then I will blindfold you and wash my own body.

Well, I have to give Marshmallow points for creativity. That idea would technically grant my wish of being clean and it would grant Lyra's wish of me not seeing her naked body.

"Yeah, I'm going to pass on that one," marshmallow head. There was no way I'm taking a shower with Lyra under any circumstance. What happened if one of us slipped and got erotically tangled, a situation that Eris, the goddess of chaos, would laugh at for the next two centuries.

I briskly walked to the shower. It was time to get squeaky clean.

I felt something firm grab my hand. It was Lyra.

What are you doing marshmallow head. I tried to break away from Lyra's grip but since she had my body and my strength, and I was in a relatively weak body, I was absolutely powerless, even as I tried to squirm away.

The next part of the story is unfathomably embarrassing. Lyra dragged me, kicking and screaming I might add, to the bathroom and wrapped a towel around me eyes so I couldn't see anything.

There is a rumor that the monarch Ivan the Terrible used to starve his pet bears and release the half-famished beasts on unsuspecting citizens.

It was somewhere between the time, Lyra had blindfolded me and finished removing my clothes that I started to envy those unsuspecting citizens. Even if they were mauled, at least they still had their dignity.

"Can't I at least remove the panties Marshmallow?" I cried, as I felt my face heating up. "This is weird."

"Off they go," Lyra laughed with what I swear was a sense of satisfaction, sliding the lace underwear down my hips all the way to my tender ankles, making my legs feel like jelly.

"Stop squirming so much. Your legs are quivering like jelly," Lyra commented, as if she was reading my mind. "Don't tell me this is turning you on," she added coyly.

That was the weirdest moment of a weird night. I couldn't see my face, for obvious reasons, but I am sure between the heat caused by the steamy shower, my unexpected sexual arousal, and my unparalleled embarrassment, that the redness in my cheeks would give any tomato a formidable run for its money.

Of course, there were other weird moments. I am sure I don't have to spell them out for you and if you can't visualize copious peculiarities from the situation I just described, then you have a hopelessly feeble and vacillating imagination.

That being said, after the jelly incident the night was relatively calm. Yeah, it was weird to have Lyra put back on my clothes but at least I managed to largely eschew those weird sensations the second time around. Naturally, I was livid when Lyra gave me a raspberry and took a normal shower, avoiding the humiliation that I was forced to go through. Of course, she had a much bigger body than me at the moment and trying to physically force her to do anything felt was ultimately as pointless as throwing a lance at a windmill.

Ultimately, we fell asleep. We were in different beds in case any of you were wondering. When we woke up the next morning, we were back in our normal bodies, an auspicious occasion if there ever was one.

Yesterday, against my will, I was blind-folded with a bath towel and undressed by my rival Lyra.

In case you are wondering, I don't eat jelly anymore.

Author Notes: I took a break from writing and upon returning I was thoroughly astonished to see so many favorites, alerts, and reviews. It is probably futile to tell everyone how much I welcome all the support but I profoundly appreciate every single favorite, alert, and review. Once I saw the outpouring of support, I knew I had to resume writing immediately.

So once again thanks for all the support.