Changing Perception

Prologue

Admiral Gil Graham, a respected officer of the Time-Space Administrative Bureau and one of my mentors, resigned in disgrace after aiding and abetting enemies of the Bureau in order to activate a Lost Logia for his own ends.

When I reflect on that simple truth, it seems almost incomprehensible to me even now; I would have dismissed it as mad speculation or a tasteless joke back then.

But people are not always what they seem. Those with good intentions can often do terrible things in order to achieve their goals, sometimes losing sight of what they hoped to accomplish in the process. Others do not always practice what they preach. I'm not the only person who's learned this lesson, or even the person who's been taught it the most harshly, but it was still a painful lesson to learn. My name is Chrono Harlaown, a member of the Time Space Administration Bureau, and one of Admiral Graham's pupils.

The story did not begin when Admiral Graham performed actions I did not think characteristic of him. It did not begin with my suspicions of him. It began the first time I met him, when an image of him was first planted in my mind, as well as knowledge of events, ideas and information about him, the relevance of which would not become apparent until years later.

You most likely are someone who knows all about Admiral Graham- both his reputation in the Bureau and his fall from grace. Now I will show you what it is like to trust someone, have that trust broken, and, after weighing the reasons for the former against what caused the latter, coming to a new understanding. If the people who we look up to are not what they seem, who are they?

Chapter 1: First Impressions

First impressions are important, since they comprise the entirety of your knowledge about the person as you try to learn more. You may be proven wrong later, but you never quite forget them.

But when I went to meet Admiral Graham to begin my studies at his house, at the age of five, I was not thinking about the impression he would make on me, but the one I would give to him. I wore a navy blue suit, the closest thing I had to a Bureau uniform at the moment, and had reviewed protocol and etiquette Bureau officers show to their superiors. I was not a Bureau officer yet, but I wanted to show I could act like one. I wanted to convince Admiral Graham that my mother was not pushing me into the Bureau on a whim, but this was something I had chosen to do, I had prepared for and I was prepared to commit to entirely without relying on anyone else.

As I walked into the lobby of the Bureau office where I was told to meet Admiral Graham, I could not help but feel slightly intimidated. While I looked fairly nice as I was, I was surrounded by blue-suited Bureau officials. What was, for me, looking and acting my best was for them a daily routine.

"Welcome; how may I help you, sir?" a woman with short brown hair and a blue uniform with a matching necktie, said.

I was slightly surprised at how polite she was to me. She was likely trained to treat everyone approaching the desk as a superior, but however low her rank was, she had been through months of Bureau training, something I had yet to even begin.

"Yes, ma'am," I said. "My name is Chrono Harlaown, and I'm here to meet with Admiral Graham."

"I will let the Admiral know you're here," the receptionist said.

"Thank you," I said.

"Chrono Harlaown-sama is here to see you, Admiral Graham," she said. After a pause, she said, "Yes, sir, I will let him know." She hung up the phone. "Please take a seat; the Admiral will be out in a few minutes.

My politeness had a pragmatic element to it, as it was important to be nice to people like receptionists, since they would likely report back to the people I hoped to meet. I sat and waited patiently for a few minutes, and then saw an elderly man in a blue uniform matching Admiral Graham's description arriving. I had heard of him before, and of his many accomplishments in the Bureau, but upon seeing him, I was overwhelmed with a mixture of awe in being in the presence of such a person, and nervousness in how to best conduct myself.

"Chrono Harlaown?" he called out to me.

"Chrono Harlaown reporting, sir!" I said to Admiral Graham, standing at attention and saluting him

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Chrono," Admiral Graham said, returning the salute. "I'm Admiral Gil Graham; I suppose you've been told about me."

"Yes, my mother told me about you. It's an honor to learn from you, sir."

"You mean Admiral Lindy," he said.

"I…I beg your pardon, sir?" I said. My professional countenance holds up only as long as I am able to know what to do in a given situation, and Admiral Graham had said something that I did not, at the time, expect to hear.

"Being the child of a high-ranking Bureau member has several expectations related to it so that you and Admiral Lindy can avoid any accusations of trying to take advantage of familial connections to be promoted beyond your merit," he said. "Among them are recognizing that whatever you may be in private, you are fellow bureau officers first, especially when you are superior and subordinate. The least you can do to recognize that distinction is refer to her by her rank."

I took a moment to ponder the meaning of what he said before saying the only thing that seemed to be a reasonable response.

"P…please forgive me, sir," I said. "I meant to say that the Admiral has told me about you."

"No, no, I didn't say I was angry, Chrono," Admiral Graham said pleasantly. "In fact, I'm glad you made that mistake here, so I could correct you and tell you what you needed to do. Think of it as your first lesson."

I was somewhat confused at Admiral Graham's response. My mother had urged me to make a good first impression on him, suggesting that this was a rare opportunity that I did not get solely by virtue of being her son. And now that I had made a faux-pas in front of him within minutes of our meeting, he was telling me it was a good thing.

"Please tell me what you mean by this, Admiral," I said.

"Bureau officers have a difficult job. A mistake could potentially result in your death, that of a mage you serve alongside, or of someone you are trying to protect. However, while I am teaching you, you will be preparing for the future, in a safe environment. I do have certain expectations of you and will let you know how well you are fulfilling them. The worst that can happen is I will send you home to Admiral Lindy if you are not able to meet my expectations, but that's a fairly extreme scenario. So when in doubt, as long as you're in my tutelage, do what comes to mind and make mistakes while there's no cost to you or anyone else."

We then got into the car to Admiral Graham's place, a house some distance from Clanagan City. In the car, we continued our conversation.

"And going back to what we were talking about earlier," Admiral Graham said, "Your mistake was a fairly small one in a very complex subject. Parents and children in the Bureau together sometimes have to balance their professional relationship and their familial one. For you, it's a relatively simple task of doing whatever your superior- even if she is your mother- orders you to, although you may find your perception of her changed while on duty. For your mother and superior, it means treating you like any other subordinate, and always asking herself whether any factors besides what she believes to be best for the mission and what she is allowed to do are influencing her decisions."

"Admiral, are you saying that I don't know my mo- the Admiral?"

"I think you know your mother, but only as a mother," Admiral Graham said. "I only know Admiral Lindy, the woman who's polite to superiors and subordinates, is hard-working, fair and has a strong sense of justice. You may have noticed those things in her, but she may treat you slightly differently as a subordinate, in order to put aside her private self so that she can serve as an Admiral to the best of her ability. In short, how people act is largely determined by their circumstances, and you must act in a way becoming of a Bureau officer while fulfilling that role."

"What about you, Admiral?" I said. "What role are you playing right now?"

"The same applies to me," Admiral Graham. "To an extent, what you see of me is the image I put forth as a man in a high rank in the Bureau, but during our time together, you may learn things that some of those who have been my subordinates for years may not know, simply because they have not seen in me in any other context than as their commanding officer."

For most of the rest of the trip, we talked about each other; Admiral Graham struck me as a surprisingly relaxed and friendly individual, even when acting as an admiral. We eventually arrived at Admiral Graham's home; a two-story house seemed large enough for three or four people. Graham pushed the buzzer at the door, and said "I'm home."

A young woman with shoulder-length hair, and a similarly dressed woman with shorter hair answered the door.

"Welcome home, Father," the two said.

For a moment, I assumed that they were his daughters, but then became confused as I realized that Admiral Graham was never married.

"It's good to be home, Aria, Lotte," Admiral Graham said. "Chrono, these are Aria and Lotte Lieze, my two familiars. Aria, Lotte, this is Chrono Harlaown, Admirals Lindy and Clyde's son, who will be staying with me and learning about serving in the Bureau."

"It's nice to meet you," I said. "Please treat me kindly while I am here."
"I'm glad to meet you, Chrono," Aria said.

"Same here!" Lotte said energetically

"But if I may ask, Admiral, how are the two of them your familiars? I did not think such a thing possible."

"Neither did I, at first," Admiral Graham said. "As a younger man, I chanced upon a cat that had died after delivering kittens; only two kittens from the litter were still alive, and those two were dying. I had the ability and training to make a contract with a familiar, but conventional wisdom dictated that I could only choose one to make my familiar while leaving the other to her fate. And yet, somehow, I was able to simultaneously establish contracts with both of the newborn kittens as familiars."

"For that reason, we consider him our father," Lotte said.

"Father's contract with us is open-ended, but we choose to stay by his side," Aria said. "We owe him so much, and respect him for all he's done over the years, devoting his life to protecting people and upholding the law."

"That's amazing, Admiral," I said.

"As I got older, though," he said, "I realized the world doesn't always work out that that way, and you often have to make difficult choices. Sometimes, in trying to save everything, you might end up with nothing. But in that situation, some magical talent and daring enabled me to avoid having to make such a decision, and achieve the best possible outcome."

It was at that point that I decided that I would learn all I could from Admiral Graham and the Lieze Twins. I wanted to gain enough skill so that I could make the choices no one had considered before and save everybody when I could.

Unfortunately, I soon learned that I had farther to go to reach that goal than I thought.

My training began the next day, after I was fully settled in. Admiral Graham taught me about what it meant to be an officer, including etiquette, office work, the history of the Bureau and investigation.

The Lieze twins' combat training, however, did not go so well. My first actual sparring match with them began with me gravely outmatched, and I was quickly defeated.

"You know, Chro-suke, if we were criminal mages, you'd probably be dead right now," Lotte said. I couldn't tell if she was making a macabre joke or being completely serious for once, given she had enjoyed teasing me mercilessly for my serious demeanor.

"Lotte's right, Chrono," Aria said. "As Father has most likely told you, this is meant as a time for you to make mistakes and fail without consequences. Truly, hardly anyone is combat-ready from the get-go, and those few who are able to jump into battle without training are typically exceptionally talented and lucky, but not enough that they can't benefit from training."

"Unfortunately, you don't have enough talent or luck to do that," Lotte said. "I don't think there's any kind of special way to boost your skills quickly, so the only way left is to work your butt off."

I think Lotte was thinking of the term "magical." Mid-Childia may have magic, but there are limits to what we can do, and we have the ability to imagine what we cannot do; fictional stories include characters who can do things that no existing Lost Logia or type of magic can accomplish.

But Lotte was right, and it took a great deal of training and hard work to get where I was, as well as many lessons that would, in real life situations, have ended with me failing my mission or dying. In spite of how much I benefited from their training and the effort I put into it, the twins and Admiral Graham also made it clear that my training would not prepare me for everything, and I would have to learn how to deal with a situation out of my control, or in the worst case, an utter failure.

For a long time, it was difficult for me to admit my early struggles and mistakes to others. When I was younger, I was very sensitive about making any mistakes, or even allowing my façade as a perfect Bureau officer to slip even for a moment, motivated by a mixture of professionalism, perfectionism and pride. I gave my superiors my respect, and my equals or subordinates a strictly business-like treatment. It enabled me to get by and earn some respect, but did not make me many friends.

As I became older, I became calmer, and more secure that my behavior was acceptable for an officer. Ironically, in focusing less on how I came across to others, I was better able to present myself professionally.

I also realized the value of remembering one's humbler beginnings. It's empowering to think that someone without much apparent talent can go far with sufficient and properly applied dedication. It can also be humbling to realize that the greatest of us make mistakes; you may have the potential to climb to the top if you're no different from those at the top in that you make mistakes, but you should never think yourself infallible for that same reason.

The same went for Admiral Graham. And while I was aware even then that he was not perfect, little did I know that he had failed to move beyond one past mistake, and would, as a result, start on the path toward making another one.

Author's Note

This story was written to explore Chrono's changing perception of Admiral Gil Graham, who turns out to be hatching his own unethical and illegal plan to seal away the Book of Darkness in A's. I wrote it to explore just who Graham is to Chrono, how Chrono reacts when faced with learning about Graham's plan, and what it means for him in the future. Ultimately, Chrono is the type to do what must be done, but the experience most likely affected him on some level, even if he is hesitant to admit it. The story will also deal with what it means to know someone else, and how those first impressions change over time.

The story will be five chapters long, and each will cover a stage of Chrono's developing perspective on Graham.

It's interesting seeing how Chrono was starting out in the Bureau, especially when you consider Lotte and Aria saying that it was initially difficult for him to learn magical combat. I can see him making mistakes, and being less than secure about his position, although he does his best to hide this behind a mask of stoic professionalism. The mask does slip sometimes, such as when Nanoha comments that he's a nice guy when he says Fate's circumstances will be considered, prompting him to say that he's just doing his job. As an Admiral in StrikerS, he's much more laid-back than when he was an Enforcer in A's, to the point at which it's noted that he's more like a kid than he was back then. Perhaps he mellowed out, or he's become more confident, enough so that he can act naturally, and be professional without losing his cool or seeming as though he's trying too hard.

One thing to notice about Chrono is that he only refers to Lindy as his mother twice- and one occasion was when he was exceptionally flustered by her decision to allow Nanoha and Yuuno to help with the investigation. It's also interesting to note the difference in how he acts around his superiors (Admirals Lindy, Letty and Graham).

I realized late in the process of writing this story, upon another review of Sound Stage 2 of A's, that Chrono has been training with the Lieze twins since he was five years old; the story originally seemed to suggest that he was at Admiral Graham's relatively soon before he enrolled in the TSAB academy. I rewrote what I could, and hope this meshes with the canon well enough.