Title: Voyeuristic Friends

Pairing: Blaise/Dean, Harry/Draco

Rating: M

Prompt: homebrewbingo's hand-jobs

Summary: Blaise gets Harry and Draco to stop arguing and gets Dean to watch them not arguing with him.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling and publishers. No offense is meant by this fan fiction and this is made purely for fun.

A/N:I'm sick and I'm really silly sometimes when I'm sick so, my apologies if this doesn't make any sense.

"Cosmically that makes no sense," Draco said. "You're throwing well known facts out the window with this theory or yours, you imbecile."

"Oh, I'm sorry, your immanence," Harry said in a mocking tone. "I didn't realize you were all knowing. And those facts happen to be theories."

"Once they've been proven they're no longer theories, you buffoon!" Draco snapped.

"Just because I made this new discovery-"

"Discovery?" Draco snorted. "It's crup crap!"

"Why you ferrety, pointy faced little, washed out-"

"Washed out?" gasped Draco, affronted. "Listen to me you untoughened little hobbit!"

"You pompous arse!" Harry retorted.

"Good Godric, why do we keep inviting them over?" Dean asked.

"I've no clue," Blaise shrugged. "This always happens. Finnigan over there gets piss drunk with Theo and they fiddle with the Wireless all night, Weasley and Longbottom start singing, rather off key, to those Muggle CDs you have and then these two have us suffer through basically the same arguments again and again."

"I'm tired of it," Dean sighed.

"They need to shag each other and be done with it," Blaise said.

"Exactl- wh- wait, what?" Dean frowned.

"I mean look at them," Blaise said, gesturing to the two lunatics they called friends. "They keep recommencing the same bloody argument over and over, or some similar argument. Basically what they've been saying is 'you're an idiot, admit that I'm smarter than you' for Salazaar knows how long. I reckon it's either they actually hate each other or they fancy each other but won't admit it. The latter would provide a much more appealing showcase than this."

"Blaise," Dean warned.

"I'm not saying I want to shag them, Dean," Blaise said in defence. "Just that it would be fun to watch- It's a better sight than this! They're fit. You can't deny that they're fit. Oh come on."

"I didn't say anything," Dean said, looking away from him.

"Like you had to say anything," Blaise muttered. "The glares alone gave you away."

He sighed and pulled his wand out and watched the two idiots continue their verbal disagreement.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked warily.

"Waiting for the opportune moment," Blaise replied.

"Tell me you aren't going to-"

Blaise cast a Tripping Jinx on Harry when he stepped towards Draco and the man's insults turned into a yelp as he tipped forwards. The two fell to the floor twin grunts.

"I can't believe you did that," Dean muttered.

"You clumsy oaf!" Draco yelled.

"This can either end very badly or very well," Blaise said.

"Stop hitting me, Malfoy. For fuck's sake!" Harry yelled, as the two tussled and rolled around on the ground, shoving and swearing at one another.

"I don't see this ending particularly well," Dean pointed out.

"Perhaps I miscalculated," Blaise murmured.

"If they break any... thing... Oh," Dean said, as the tussling turned into frotting and the shoving turned into grabbing and groping. The two were still spitting insults at one another but the words lost their bite now that they were muttered in between some rather enthusiastic snogging.

"I'll have to tell Pansy that I was right about Draco and Harry," Blaise smirked. "And come on, tell me they don't look good together."

"I'll admit that they aren't unpleasant," Dean conceded. "Oh Godric, are they going to-"

"Well... this escalated quickly," Blaise murmured.

"Dean, d'you 'ave anym're r... rum..." Longbottom slurred. He caught sight of Harry and Draco on the ground, currently undressing each other, and then let out a squeak before turning tail to go back to the other room. "N'vermind! 'M too dr'nk."

"Maybe we should leave the room," Dean said distractedly.

"We probably should," Blaise admitted. "My cock happens to disagree though."

"We really shouldn't- Oh, Draco's... flexible," Dean breathed.

"It would seem so," Blaise nodded, as he pulled Dean closer and ground against his leg.

"Blaise, I really don't think we should- Merlin," Dean gasped, as Blaise slipped a hand into his pants.

Blaise kissed Dean's neck and worked his hand as they watched the other men going at it. He groaned and ground his hips against Dean's leg to give himself some relief. They watched Harry pound into Draco as the blonde met him thrust for thrust. Blaise frotted against Dean's leg and pumped his hand, twisting at the end of a few strokes.

Harry peaked and Dean pulsed in Blaise's hand soon after.

"Oh fuck," Dean groaned, as Blaise squeezed him dry and ground against him.

"Dean," Blaise whined, bucking his hips as he watched Harry wank Draco, still buried inside him.

Dean quickly got a hand down Blaise's pants and tugged at him as he latched onto his neck, nipping and kissing and sucking. Blaise held on to Dean and moaned as the man's hand worked him, pumping and twisting and squeezing. Draco let out a cry and Harry moaned quietly as the blonde pulsed his release for all of them to see. Blaise arched against Dean and grunted his release and buried his head in the man's neck, grinding into his hand. Dean pulled his head up and snogged him as he wrapped his arms around him and pressed their bodies together. They ground lazily against one another, much like their naked companions were doing on the floor, before Dean pulled away.

"I can't believe you just made me do that," Dean murmured to him.

"Yes, well, perhaps we should take your advice and leave the room now," Blaise said. "This would be a bit of an awkward explanation."

"That is an understatement," Dean said, before apparating them to the bedroom. "And don't do that again."

"You enjoyed it though," Blaise smirked.

"Even so."