A/N: Guess who's baaaack?! I've had this idea bouncing around for a while. It's kind of but not Meg-bashing? No, not really. I love Meg. But not Megstiel. So this is an outsider POV of Destiel. Kind of. Meg doesn't get it at all. Also, I'm pretty gay myself so any homo-bashing is just Meg being Meg.

Also, this is rated M because of cursing and direct reference to nude/sexy pics and also buttsecks. But there isn't any actual sex.

Meg Masters was Queen Bee of the school. Her daddy was the owner of some big-bucks insurance company, and even though some people said he did the Devil's work - well, they were just jealous. Meg had a black Mercedes she drove to school every day, perfectly complimenting her dark brown ringlets and expensive leather jacket.

Everyone either loved her or feared her. Whichever way didn't really matter, really - according to her, love and fear were very similar emotions on the spectral scale.

Of course, all the money (plus her stunning good looks) made her a magnet for guys of all kinds. Douches, nerds, cuties, even a couple teachers (which was why she was passing most of her classes, actually), and the lesbos like Ruby Luke and Charlie Bradburry. Granted, Charlie didn't like her so much, but that was besides the point - anyways, the whole 'gay' thing squicked Meg out. No thanks.

Still, there was always one group of people that managed to evade Meg's charm. The Novaks. Damned family of tin-hat wearing freakos, that's all they were.

Totally hot, rich freakos. And the third-youngest, Castiel? Hot damn. That was one guy Meg wouldn't mind getting behind.

Or rather, wouldn't mind it if he were to get behind her. Some of the rumors they spread were true, after all. Some people had to be worked right, just so that she could have at least some fun in bed when she chose her victim. At this point in time, it definitely was Castiel Novak - code name: Clarence. Kid was too dumb to understand her reference, so she figured it was a safe word for the time being.

She and Lilith had been kicking around a few ideas to get Clarence to drop his pants for Meg, even though they had a feeling this Novak was a little different from the others.

He was nowhere near as dramatic and Mike and Luke were. As twins and seniors, they were the head of the drama class and always at the other's throat. It usually boiled down to who Daddy loved best, but Meg never really paid attention to those dunderheads.

Castiel also wasn't an asshole prankster like his other senior brother, Gabriel. That little shit was always messing up Meg's dates and generally the whole school considered him a big fucking nuisance. Other assholes like Dean and Sam Winchester thought he was a riot, however, so they were always hanging out. Meg had a feeling Sam maybe had a thing with Gabe. Freakin' weirdos.

Clarence was probably more similar to the youngest twins, freshmen Inias and Sammie. Apparently Sammie was short for some long-ass angelic name, but he considered it a little embarrassing and stuck with the moniker. The twins were practically joined at the hip for their dorky art-and-music classes. They were totally little hipsters.

Speaking of which, Cas wasn't really a hipster. Sure, he liked old things and drank Starbucks coffee over homework in the library, and maybe he was kind of into photography and poetry and all that other gay shit hipsters like, but he totally wasn't a hipster. Meg Masters does not get ladyboners for hipsters. He was just the strong and silent type - she could totally dig that.

So she had a great plan. Seduce the (third) littlest angel and have an awesome night of sex and whatever. Then, forget he ever existed and move on to the next target. She had her eyes on Sam Winchester, actually - it didn't matter if the little (okay maybe not so little) shit was head over heels for Gabriel. Meg was famous for her record of setting people like Sammy Winchester straight, heh. And if she couldn't... well, she was always up for something new. Maybe Gabe could be invited. She could maybe look past the... face. And everything else. Maybe.

Clarence first, dammit.

School was out for the day, and winter break was fast approaching. Finals were almost over, and then break would start. Hopefully, Meg had Clarence in the bag before she had to pretend to go Christmas shopping. Personally, if she wasn't wasting money on herself, she wouldn't be shopping at all.

Castiel's car was parked right beside hers - oh, had that been on purpose? Oops.
Castiel and Dean (when did those two start hanging out?) walked up to the polished black sheen of the Impala beside Meg's Mercedes. Dean took keys out of his pocket - what? and jingled them at Cas. "Just 'cuz I let you drive to school doesn't mean I'm willing a repeat of that performance, man," Dean chuckled, "I'm gonna have nightmares just remembering it."

Castiel huffed glumly as Dean teased him. "That was mostly your fault, Dean, seeing as you kept doing that thing with yo-"

"Time to go, Romeo!" Dean interrupted with barely a nervous glance at Meg - who, staring at the shining key in her hand, did not notice. The doors clunked open and closed before the turn of an old, well-cared-for engine rumbled to life. Seconds later, the Impala roared out of the school parking lot, leaving Meg all alone with her thoughts.

Those two were very weird, very hot freaks. Meg didn't actually feel attracted to Dean, however - maybe she just wasn't into dickbags like him all that much.

Plus, he was kind of really annoying.

As soon as she got home, she blew past the kitchen, grinning madly at the note from her father stating he would be out of town for an important meeting (poor single parents. Always worrying about their little babies), and straight up to her room. Smirking with barely-concealed excitement, she pulled out her phone and dialed the number she bartered from Crowley, the school dealer. He could get anyone anything - it didn't matter what nor how. He just did.

"Hello? Who is this?" Meg really, really liked Castiel's I-just-got-fucked voice.

"Heya, Sweetcheeks," Meg greeted, her own voice low and sultry as she recited her lines from memory, "just called to ask for some help on an English project. Can you come over and edit for me? You'd be a real pal." She was laying it on thick, but the boy was so damn dense that it would take a wrestling champion to knock some sense into him.

She could hear Castiel's voice faintly as he talked to someone else. She realized he had put his hand over the speaker. "She wants me to edit something," she heard him grumble. Was he talking to his mother?

"Damn it, Cas! That's Meg. She probably wants to jump your bones, that's all." Ooh, was that... Dean? Why was he with Castiel? She could have sworn he had dropped Clarence off at least half an hour or so ago. Maybe they were homework buddies, too.

"But... she might really need my help." Awh, Clarence. Always looking out for those less fortunate than he. It warmed the cockles of Meg's heart.

"But we just - ugh, fine. I'll drive you over." There was a rustling noise, and Castiel's voice cleared up.

"I'll be over there soon." Was all he said before hanging up.

That was an interesting conversation. Meg's brain slowly put together evidence and came up with a wildly impossible guess - that Clarence and Deano were doing the dirty.

Definitely not, but the possibility was there. And that totally squicked Meg out. No thanks, she didn't want Dean's leftovers. That boy was said to be even worse than Meg herself in his conquests - according to Anna, he couldn't handle a relationship for more than two weeks. Of course, Anna wasn't just the school gossip - she knew things. She listens closely when nobody realizes she's around, and that's how she gets her info. She could be a freakin' spy one day.

Meg ignored her idle thoughts and brought out the word document she wanted to 'work' on. She had made a few purposeful errors for Clarence to edit, then at the bottom -

There were a few absolutely scandalous pictures of her lingering a few pages down. She knew Clarence would find 'em eventually. She was getting a little hot under the collar just looking at them herself - Cassie didn't stand a damn chance.

The steady rumble of the Impala crawled through her open window and informed her that her latest conquest had arrived. She removed her leather jacket, but kept on the skimpy tank top that was underneath. She all but flew downstairs to open the door for a rather flustered-looking Castiel. "Hey there, hot stuff," Meg purred as she closed the door behind him, "My work's upstairs. Wanna come with?" She held out one hand invitingly, a thin smile upon her lips.

Castiel ignored her hand and she let it drop after a moment. Meg sighed and turned to go up the stairs. She felt, rather than heard, Clarence follow along, each footstep stiffly falling upon plush carpet.

After what seemed like a lifetime of waiting, Castiel was finally looking at her paper. It was all about to come to a head - he'd reach the end, he'd pop a boner, and Meg would do the most responsible thing she could - help him get rid of it. She shivered in anticipation.

So when fifteen minutes later, and Castiel was showing no response whatsoever to the screen, Meg was promptly shocked. Maybe he was a slow reader? She looked over his shoulder and no, he was definitely at the pictures. She shot a sly look at his crotch - not even a twitch.

What the hell?

Clarence seemed to be restraining himself as he stood up. "You're welcome, Meg," he growled at last, "but now I must be leaving. Something of import is waiting for me."

Oh, no. Meg did not give up so easily. When Cassie made way for the door, she slithered in front of it, her brown eyes glittering with suspicion. "What's so important, Clarence?" Oops, the nickname slipped out. Oh well. "Surely there isn't anything else you might want?" Her eyes flicked down to his dick once more, but - nope. Not a thing.

"Yes," Castiel announced, exasperated, "I want to get back home to where I can finally get my boyfriend to fuck me, and you are not helping in the slightest bit."

Meg had to stop to let that sink in after a moment.

Dean was - he and Castiel - they - there was fucking involved? Wow, serious business there.

And, Dean. Yuck.

Meg stepped out of the way, and Castiel burst past her and was out of the house before she could come up with another plan to keep him inside. There was nothing.

Her first failed conquest.

Oh well, now she could get to work on Sammy. Damn, that boy was fine.