Thank you so much for your follows, favourites, reviews etc! You've inspired me to continue this. Please excuse any silly mistakes and I apologize if they seem OOC or anything like that. This chapter is twice as long as the first, so I hope you enjoy it! (Also, yes I changed the title. Please read more at the end.)
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize, unfortunately.
The next day, Caroline laid in bed for what felt like forever. She'd barely slept all night since climbing into bed at just after midnight, her guilt overpowering her exhaustion. Besides, she was a vampire, technically she didn't really need sleep. All she could think about was that she'd killed an innocent person and proceeded to call on the worst of them all for help. When she thought about it, she had no idea what possessed her to call him. At the time he'd seemed like her only option, but it only made her feel even more guilt. It wasn't the nicest feeling in the world, that she was sure of now.
It wasn't her first kill but it felt like it. She'd killed when she'd first turned and she'd killed to save the Salvatore brothers but – killed for no reason? Other than that she was angry and upset, and the way the boy was so obviously flirting with her only drew her to him. Which was how they'd ended up in the woods in the first place. Caroline had been more than aware of what she was doing when she pulled him away from the party, yet she hadn't been able to stop herself. Going as far as killing him wasn't what she was thinking, though – she was just going to feed. Human blood straight from the vein was too tempting to resist, especially with just how frustrated she'd been after her fight with Tyler.
All it took was a fight with her boyfriend and a little alcohol, then it was downhill from there. Downhill very, very, quickly. The more she thought about it, the more she wished that it had never happened at all. She'd hoped to wake up and remember nothing other than having a dreadful nightmare, but she knew that it had happened. She'd actually killed an innocent human being, and to say she felt guilty would be an understatement. It was digging away at her, her stomach was in knots and she felt as if her entire body was on fire. She hadn't even got out of bed yet ... and, quite frankly, she was dreading it more than any other morning in a while.
Around 3am, she'd heard her mother come in. Luckily, she hadn't came in to check on her or ask her if she knew anything about the attack. Liz had never been one for checking on her daughter in the middle of the night, but the fact that there was suddenly a very public vampire attack probably caused the idea to slip her mind completely. How many times had Caroline told her that she didn't feed from the vein? She wouldn't suspect her, or at least Caroline hoped she wouldn't. It was a well known fact that Caroline was not the best liar around. She knew that her Mom would bring it up at some point during the day, but Caroline would do everything she could to put that conversation off for as long as possible. If there was anyone Caroline didn't want to know about this, then it was Liz. Her Mom may have came around to the idea of her daughter being a vampire, but that was on the principal that Caroline didn't hurt anyone. She dreaded to even think what her mother's reaction would be if she found out that it was Caroline responsible for the death of one her deputies' son.
Shaking the thoughts from her mind, Caroline ran a hand over her face as she pushed herself up onto a sitting position on the bed. Crossing her legs, she sighed at the thought of what the day may bring. Luckily it was a Sunday, so she wouldn't be missing even more school thanks to supernatural problems. For a moment, she considered just hiding out in house all day but then it was a guarantee she'd have to talk to her Mom sooner than later. But, if she left, there was a huge chance of running into one of her friends – which meant a huge chance of this morning's news being brought up. Hopefully, they wouldn't mention anything but knowing her luck, it would be a rather lengthy conversation with accusations thrown around.
Obviously the vampires of Mystic Falls knew that the real story, and Caroline wouldn't be at all surprised if her Mom had already been in contact with Damon. In fact, she probably accused him of decreasing the town's population even more. If that was what Liz had indeed done, then Caroline knew it was a given that someone would ask her about it. None of them would suspect that the death was on her hands, because of the control that she apparently had, but that didn't mean they wouldn't point fingers –rightfully- at her when they ran out of options. Did she really want to keep this a secret? It wasn't as if they were all Saints, and what were they going to do anyway? If any of them had the nerve to judge her, then she'd happily remind them of their own body counts. Considering all of them –humans included, actually- had killed someone, she doubted they would care that much.
That didn't change the fact that she didn't want them to know. She was the one they thought of as 'in control' and she didn't want them to think differently, if she was honest with herself. Plus, if they ask her why she didn't just bury the body, she'd have to explain which would probably end with her accidentally mentioning Klaus and everything going to hell. Not that it would be anything new for any of them. She was used to everything being fine one minute and someone getting disowned or even killed before she could blink. Things went from bad to God-damn horrifying so quickly that, sometimes, she barely even noticed.
Only, this was different. She didn't know what she was more worried about – their reaction to her killing, or their reaction to her calling on Klaus for help. If she had to explain that one, she'd only make things worse. Though, at this point, she didn't really know if things could actually get any worse. Not that she'd say that out loud – if the two years had taught her anything, it was that. Things could always get worse, no matter how unlikely it seemed. The last thing she wanted was to push her luck. She was just lucky that Klaus had implied he wouldn't say anything.
Though, that seemed too good to be true. Okay, so he liked her -or fancied her, whatever- but did that mean he'd keep her secret even if he could pull one over on her with that information one day? She never knew what he was capable of and his mood swings were worse than any petty teenage tantrum that she'd ever experienced.
Mostly, she was worried that he would tell one of her friends. All of them hearing that she'd killed someone from him? It made her stomach turn, frankly. There's no way they'd understand her reasoning for calling him instead of one of them, or even why she couldn't just bury the body and be done with it in Damon's case.
Maybe nobody would even mention it – maybe, they'd all have some bigger problem to deal with. Part of her hoped that they had some deathly supernatural stuff to deal with and a meaningless human death via alleged animal attack would mean nothing to any of them. She knew one thing though, and that sulking in her bedroom would do nobody any favors. It wouldn't give life back to the innocent she'd killed, and it wouldn't stop the guilt she felt and it wouldn't stop them finding out about it. All she hoped was that they wouldn't find out it was her who was to blame.
Leaning over to her nightstand, she grabbed a hair tie and tiredly tied her blonde curls up into a loose bun. Sitting around all day thinking about her the consequences of her actions would do nothing but drive her insane, and she just had to get out of the house before her Mom eventually woke up in a few hours. She could avoid her friends, just drive to some place far from town and stay there until her Mom retreated back to work and she could stay clear. As tempting as that idea sounded to her, temptation had only led to trouble. She knew that doing anything as impulsively stupid as that would only raise suspicion when nobody else confessed to being responsible.
So, with a tired sigh, she pulled herself out from under her warm comforter and stood. Lazily, she dragged her feet along the floor towards the bathroom. After brushing her teeth and freshening up, she took one last look in the mirror. Perhaps she was overreacting? Vampires killed all the time, it was in their nature – in her nature. But that didn't change that it was the first time she'd killed without reason, or that she had spoken to him so many times before. It didn't change that she'd ripped away a son from two loving parents, torn a brother from his sister and left a teenager to mourn the death of her boyfriend.
Feeling the tears threatening to fall again, she wiped at her eyes and quickly crossed the hall back into her bedroom. She couldn't think about this – she had to learn to accept that this was bound to happen at some point, and now it had. She'd killed before and, honestly, what were the chances of her doing it again? She only had eternity, after all.
Still wiping at her eyes, she hurried around her room to get dressed. Not sparing it much thought, she pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a purple tank top. She applied some simple make up and re-did her messy bun into a casual ponytail. Finally, she slid on her black jacket and slipped into her matching black pumps. Before she left, she wrote a vague note to her Mom letting her know she'd be home soon and placed it on the kitchen counter.
Today was going to be a long day.
As she slid into her car, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Pulling it out of her jacket, she was greeted with an alert telling her she had a text message from Elena.
Hey, have you heard? There was an attack in the woods last night.
She'd been expecting it, but not so soon and not by text. Well, at least this way, Elena wouldn't be able to see how her breath caught in her throat. Elena didn't even know and she felt as if the unnecessary air had been punched from her stomach. Now she was worried. Did Elena know that she was at that party? Nobody knew she was at that party; the girls had spoken about it when word first got around and decided not to bother when they had better things to worry about.
Yeah, I heard. Why?
I'm at the boarding house with D+S, Damon wants to know if we have a vampire problem. ;)
Elena's clear attempt at a joke only made her stomach knot itself together even more. It was just lucky that she didn't need to breathe otherwise she'd be dead meat – really dead. She decided against responding, throwing her phone on the passenger seat. Minutes passed as she sat staring up at her house. She was over thinking all of this, but she was an over-thinker. It wasn't her fault that killing someone for her own selfish desires only brought out the paranoid, worrier in her. As if the guilt wasn't bad enough, huh?
She'd been sat there in her own thoughts for twenty minutes before the vibration of her phone from the seat next to her broke her out of her trance. Her eyes snapped down at the phone, catching the alert of another text from Elena. Cautiously, she moved to read the text, panic sweeping over her as she read it.
Come to the boarding house asap. X
Choosing to leave another text unanswered, she flipped the phone over back onto the passenger seat and gave herself no more time to think before driving away from her house.
It didn't take long to reach the Salvatores' home but she still had to force herself to not think anymore. She just had to not tell them that it was her, and she wouldn't get worry from Stefan, or concern from Elena or sarcasm from Damon. Easy. She doubted they'd flat out ask her if she'd killed the guy, so she shouldn't have any problem keeping her nose out of trouble. As long as she avoided her inability to lie, then ... it would be fine.
As the car came to a stop, she took her thousandth deep breath of the day before grabbing her phone and making her way up to the front door. Well, made her way as slowly as she possibly could without one of the elder vampires inside sensing her hesitation to join them.
Not bothering to knock, she opened the door and plastered her best fake smile on her face as the trio turned to face her. "Hey.." She breathed, pushing the door closed behind her. All she got in return was a smile from Elena, a mumble from Stefan and Damon pointing his glass at her.
"So..." She sighed. "What's up?"
"We're trying to figure out what happened last night.." Stefan answered, looking down at the table as if in serious thought. "It's not one of us, so either it was Klaus or Tyler...or we have an unexpected arrival in town."
"...Oh." She muttered, coming to a stop and leaning against the wall. Was it obvious how nervous she was? How guilty? She definitely couldn't let Tyler take the blame for something she did ... or Klaus for that matter, considering he'd helped her. She doubted that he would care but still, she'd care.
"Nope..." Damon shook his head, still clutching his glass of scotch against his chest. He turned to her and, for a second, she thought Damon's annoying knack for getting things right was about to hit her. "Your delight of a mother said it was a just a plain vampire bite, whilst she was in the middle of accusing me, of course."
Fantastic. Just, really fantastic. Thanks for that one, Mommy dearest.
"Well, maybe one of the other originals are back in town?" She shrugged innocently, desperately coming up for an answer. "Or there's just another vampire passing through. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal, Caroline, is that if there's another vampire in town? We need to know. If there's another original making a comeback? We need to know that even more." Damon snapped, rolling his eyes.
"Okay, well, call me when you guys are done playing Sherlock. I have stuff to do." She lied, faking a huge grin before rushing from there. Her lying was the worst, she couldn't stick around for them to notice that. Acting careless was the only way to stop the guilt creeping up. Maybe it was best for her to just tell them, she thought again.
On the plus side, at least she knew Klaus had kept his promise. For the time being, at least. As she got back into her car and started the engine quickly as it would, she couldn't stop her thoughts from drifting to him.
He was probably enjoying this. Having something over her; leverage, so to speak. If he ever wanted anything from her, he'd be able to bribe her with the fact that he was keeping a secret for her. A secret that happened to be a huge deal – or, for her, it was. She'd realized by now that it didn't matter that the others were killers too, she still killed someone and that wasn't something she was willing to tell her friends about.
If she ever killed again, she wouldn't tell them. She doubted that she'd ever be comfortable with them knowing that she took a life, when she was barely comfortable with acknowledging it herself. Not that she had much of a choice with how much her conscience was enjoying torturing her with it, mind you.
Driving away from the Salvatore boarding house, she decided to let her impulse get the better of her. She wanted to thank him, really thank him. Not murmur a thank you whilst her dress was covered in blood as she climbed out of his car in the late hours of the night.
He'd done a lot of bad things – so many bad things - but she knew that there was something in him. Even if it was the tiniest piece of him that wanted to help her, then she'd take it and she'd accept it.
She just needed to talk to him. He knew how to help her last night, so she couldn't help but hope he'd be able to help with the aftermath of the situation too. He was one of the oldest, strongest vampires that existed as well as the fact that he was half-werewolf. For crying out loud, if he didn't know what she needed to do to keep the suspension from falling on her then she didn't know who else would.
The only question was, would he really help her again? Twice in less than twenty four hours, without anything in return? Honestly, she didn't even know what he could tell her. She assumed he would just tell her to not say anything, or place the blame on someone else, or just admit it. Any one of those three options sounded around right to her.
She never thought she'd see the day where she needed Klaus' advice, yet here she was, driving to his ridiculously gorgeous mansion.
When she arrived, she took in the beautiful mansion in front of her. She was sure you could fit her entire house into just one of the rooms, it was so big. Quickly she realized that she hadn't been near there since the night of the ball, as she took in how different in looked in the daylight without traditional music and people in elegant clothing.
She didn't give it much thought as she walked up to the door, checking to make sure there was nobody around. (Apparently, her paranoia was only getting worse as the day went on.) Pleased that the coast was very much clear, she knocked on the door before stepping back. It was as she pulled her hand away that she realized he could probably hear her anyway. Oh well.
The door swung open in front of her, and she took a second to pray he was the only one home. For the first time that day, her prayers appeared to be answered as he appeared before her in his typical attire of a tight Henley and black pants. The smirk on his face only confirmed that he'd been able to hear her since the second her car had pulled up.
"Caroline." He spoke, his thick accent causing her name to roll off his tongue in a way she'd rather not think about. "You're full of surprises these days, aren't you?"
Rolling her eyes had become an instant reaction to his words, they'd both picked up on that a long time ago. She didn't hate him as much as she should have, but she definitely enjoyed scoffing at him and rolling her eyes at every given chance. Even if he had helped her.
"Can I come in?" She asked, tilting her head to the side. The look on his face clearly told her that he was not expecting her to ask that, or actually sound as if she wasn't trying to distract him or argue with him. Without saying a word, his hint of a surprised expression turned back into his annoying smirk as he moved back for her to walk in. She smiled, stepping inside and walking past him into what she guessed was his lounge. A lounge that was probably four times as big as hers, if not more.
"Is there a reason I have the honor of your presence yet again, love?" He asked, clearly amused with himself. "Well, assuming this isn't one of your little distractions. I don't believe your gang of misfits have formed any more plans of my demise, no?"
As if she wasn't feeling enough guilt, she thought. She came here to thank him and see if he could help her, not to have him guilt trip her about her distractions.
"No." She shook her head, crossing her arms below her chest as she turned to face him. "Actually, I just wanted to thank you...Again. For last night." She shrugged, her lips pulling into a smile as she watched him try to figure out if she was being genuine with him. He may not have showed emotion very much, but she'd come to realize when he was trying to see if she was being truthful or just ... well, distracting him.
"Well, like I said, it was no problem." He said, his eyes still burning holes into her as if expecting her to come clean at any minute. "You're a vampire, Caroline. Whether you like it or not, you will kill. Impulsively, accidentally, purposely, just for fun."
So, she'd expected that. It still didn't make it any easier to hear. Especially coming from him; at least with Damon she could just give him some snarky remark and ignore him. It wasn't quite that easy with the Original Hybrid standing before her. As much as she hated it, she did take him seriously. She wanted him to know that she wasn't just some stupid, scared little girl who didn't know right from wrong. He'd seen her as more than that and she wanted to show him that he was right when he complimented her on her strength or her intelligence. Everyone else at some point or other had seen her as an insecure control freak, who would do anything to have someone who loved her even if they were total asses, or if she was putting it all on for the sake of having the attention that she craved so badly.
"Yeah, well, my gang of misfit toys, want to know who killed him so..." She started, averting her eyes to the floor. "I really don't want them to know that it was me, you know? I'm the one who's supposed to be helping Stefan, and how can I help Stefan if I can't even control myself?"
A few moments passed and, even with her eyes concentrating on his very entertaining rug, she could still feel his intense stare on her. She could tell that he was still considering whether she was being genuine with him or not, which made her slightly nervous. She trusted him, whether she wanted to or not, and she was kind of hoping that he could trust her too. Only, part of her knew that wouldn't be possible with his trust issues and all the times she'd lied to him to keep him away from their plans – plans that usually involved killing him.
"Then tell them I killed him, I sure they won't hesitate to believe that." He eventually shrugged, looking at her as if it was the obvious answer.
"I can't, my mom told them it wasn't a hybrid bite and-"
"Then I'll tell them your Mother was mistaken. Caroline, why are you still worrying about this?" He interrupted, a frown playing across his forehead.
"Because they can't know that I killed him! I don't kill people, that's not what I do." She protested, finally lifting her head so that her eyes met his instantly.
The silence that followed was beyond deafening. Between that and her inability to pull her eyes away from his, she felt as if the room as suffocating her. They always ended up like this, caught in some tense eye tug-of-war, both of them silently daring the other to break the contact first and failing miserably. Eventually, he stepped closer to her but she couldn't move. It was as if she was frozen to the spot and with every step he took, her undead heart started pounding and heat rose to her cheeks.
"You're a vampire, Caroline." He repeated, his voice low and barely audible. "Killing's in your nature. You won't have that control forever, love, especially if you don't kill at all now. It'll catch up to you in the end, just give it a century a so. But, for now, you can spare yourself the judgement you'll undoubtedly get from the doppelgänger and, ironically, the ripper. Just tell your little friends that I told you I played a part in the boy's death. It wouldn't be that much of a lie."
The trademark smirk returned, sending chills down her spine. She could feel his breath on her lips as he spoke to her, he was that close. She simply forced herself to nod slightly, before breaking their eye contact and moving away from him.
"Thank you." She whispered, glancing over her shoulder as she left. By now, she had no idea what she was even thanking him for.
...But, I know what I'm thanking you for! You lovely readers, you. As you can see, I decided to continue this since I got such a great response to the chapter I posted yesterday. Also, since this is a full story now, I decided to change the title every so slightly: Breathless is now Shadow of You! That title just came to me, and I do prefer it.
Please let me know what you think! Like I mentioned, this is my first fanfiction and I wasn't going to let it be anything more than a one-shot but your feedback gave me that push me. I'm a little nervous/insecure about this so if you could please let me know what you thought (even if you thought it was really damn awful, then please let me know in a review and I'll send you a unicorn or a rainbow or something.)
Thank you for reading!