Welcome, welcome!

Herein lies a fanfiction of equal parts humor/cuteness and dark/angst! The story will follow Snape's trials and tribulations as he tries to manage a deaged Sirius, Remus and Harry. This story is AU as of Chapter 4 of Ootp, but will remain relatively canon in terms of most things.

There will be NO SLASH.

After many years away from the HP fanfic scene, in starting to finish my fanfiction Harry Potter and the Wish of Life, I came across great inspiration and have been on a writing kick! The idea came to me a few days ago and I am so excited to give it a try! Sirius and Harry are my favourite characters so expect a lot of cuteness from them!

Please do review, I write based on feedback that people want more and I would love to see if there is interest in this story!

Three Wizard Tots and a Potions Master

Chapter One

Conception

In the very center of the adults, Harry could clearly see the dark, greasy-haired head and prominent nose of his least favourite teacher…nay, his least favourite non-Voldemort-or-Pettigrew person, Professor Snape.

It looked as if the crowd was dispersing toward the door when Mrs. Weasley reached out and grabbed the arm of Professor Snape. Snape recoiled as if burned but she managed to keep ahold of him.

"Severus, please stay this once. Have some dinner before you go. Harry just got here-"

"In that case I certainly should be going," Snape drawled acidly, "Potter would hate for me to be here." His black eyes raised toward the bannisters and met Harry's own emerald ones before he immediately swooped out of view along with the twins and Ron and Hermione.

"That's not true-" Mrs. Weasley clucked.

"It certainly is!" Sirius's voice was loud as he came into view and Harry felt his heart lighten at the sight of his only family member. "And I would hate it most of all, so off with you! Off to lick the boots of your master!" He gave a patronizing shoo motion as he tried to bodily push Snape out of the front door.

Snape's upper lip curled and he stared at Sirius for a long moment. "In that case, yes, Molly. I will be staying."

Harry's heart sank as his friends groaned.

"But he never eats here!" Ron whined quietly, "This is so unfair."

Overall, Snape was having a good day.

He had acquired a rare potions ingredient in the morning: Pink Gummy Toadstool spores. The toadstools in question were actually live creatures that hopped about in the glaciers of the arctic. Recent studies had placed the entire population at under seven members. The spores, though seemingly for the species' reproductive means had been determined as being ineffective in recent years. The mobile toadstool species only continued for so long as the individual members lived long lives, estimated at over a thousand years.

Fifty years ago the spores had been collected during a study on anti-aging salves. They had barely managed to reduce wrinkles any more than a simple glamour and were rightfully discarded as a viable potions ingredient. One of Snape's old colleagues had unearthed a small vial of the stuff on his retirement and had offered it to the Potions Master. Never one to decline a new ingredient he hadn't worked with before, Snape had collected the tiny vial and it currently nestled in his robes' pocket like a special prize only he was aware off. He was interested in seeing if the spores would be able to negate the taste of some of his more soured potions as initial reports had described their taste as overpoweringly sweet and tacky.

Next, his meeting with the order had gone well and he relished the chance to torture both Black and Potter in one fell swoop by his presence at the dinner table. Indeed, they both sat sullenly, glaring at him. He could barely contain his glee.

Potter was discussing his dementor attack, an event that made Snape's jaw clench. The boy was getting harder to protect as he got older. Not to mention that things were escalating quickly with Voldemort's return.

"Well, personally, I'd have welcomed a dementor attack –" Sirius was grinned, a sparkle in his eye, "…I've been stuck inside for a month."

"How come?" asked Harry, frowning.

"Because," Snape began silkily, "he has been preoccupied with very important Order work such as dusting the house and making sure everyone's beds are made."

Sirius immediately sat up straighter in his chair and his eyes clashed with Snape's. "Right. That's about enough out of you, Snivellus. How dare you speak to me that way in front of my godson?"

"I dare," Snape took his time to drawl his words, "Because I only speak the truth. I presume you're well aware that the simple fact is that you are the housewife to the Order. Nothing more, nothing less."

"I'd make an analogy as well, Snape, but there's nothing to describe a murderous deatheater biding his time to betray the Order the way I know you are about to."

The years of animosity made it difficult for Snape to keep his calm. As Sirius attacked him, his face flushed and neck burned hot. "It's funny, because if you were such a good judge of character how exactly did Pettigrew get by those senses of yours? Or was it James's arrogance that blinded you all? Thought he was such a god that no one would ever dare think against him?"

"That's it!" Sirius got to his feet with a clatter, his chair falling to the ground behind him. He stormed over to Snape and grabbed him by the collar of his robes, pulling him up to face him. "You don't EVER talk about James like that, do you hear me? You no good coward!"

The rest of the room were on their feet as well. Arthur, across the table stood in front of a perplexed looking Tonks and Ginny, forcing them to back up. Remus got to his feet at the other end of the table, directly down from where Sirius was currently assaulting the potions master.

"Sirius, wait!"

"I am not a coward!" Snape shouted, pushing back at Sirius. "Take a look at yourself, Black! Hiding inside this house every day-"

Sirius' wand was out in a moment as they squared off against one another. "I am twice the man you'll ever be you filthy bastard! Reducto!"

The blast hit Snape straight in the chest, the vial in his pocket shattering immediately. Thousands of tiny pink spores burst into the air. He snarled, head pounding and his wand was up and out before he even could contain himself.

"No!" Harry yelled, vaulting over the table and getting in between them. "Sirius, don't!"

"Harry – get – out of it!" Sirius tried to push the boy out of the way, but the boy-who-lived wouldn't budge.

Remus was rushing toward them as Hermione and Ron looked shocked by the events.

It was too late, the incantation was already on Snape's lips. "Anteoculatia!" If the man wanted so badly to worship his dead friend he could have the antlers to go with it! The hex shot through the cloud of spores and immediately fractured. Before a blast of light blinded them all for moments, Snape realized with horror that the spell seemed to go right through Harry, then Sirius and furthest away, Remus.

What had he done?!

As the light cleared, he blinked his eyes, shielding them with his arm. They were gone?!

It was then that a cry alerted his attention downward.

In front of him stood a tiny toddler with large green eyes and a crumpled face. Behind him, a startled looking small child with a remarkably handsome face and thick black hair. Even further, at the back of the room nearest the wall stood a stunned, gentle looking boy of about seven years old.

Snape stared in horror.

Overall, Snape was having the day from HELL.

To Be Continued...

Well, I think we all know where this is going! How will Snape manage with three ickle arch-nemeses to look after? Will his prejudices get in the way or will their cuteness reduce him to mush? Who else was affected by the spell? And what does this mean for Voldemort's return? All this and more… next chapter!

Please let me know if you would like me to continue by leaving a review! I always reply to every signed review and I would love to know your thoughts and requests!